Disclaimer: I don't own How To Train Your Dragon, and knowing my luck, I probably never will. All rights go to the author of the books, Cressida Cowell and the company that made the much-loved films and series, Dreamworks. This fanfiction is set in the Dragons: Riders of Berk series.

A/N: Just to clear things up to do with the story you're about to read, bold speech is when the dragons are talking, italics are for when the humans are thinking, and bold italics are when the dragons are thinking.

One day, Hiccup invented a new way of cleaning a dragon that involved a lot less water. Basically, you had to let a small amount of soap dissolve in a bucket of water, and rub the dragon down with a washcloth. Then you took a brush and scrubbed the dirt off the dragon, and dried them with a dry washcloth. Easy. Excitedly, he told the other riders, who were extemely happy to hear the news.

"Finally!" Snotlout exclaimed. "You have no idea how much my dragon hates water! Or how much water he dumps on me as revenge for giving him a bath! Hiccup, you should've done this sooner!"

"Barf and Belch hate baths," the twins confided. "Maybe they'll enjoy it now."

"Unlike your dragons, Meatlug likes baths," Fishlegs said, "but if it means less water, then I'm in!"

"I agree with Fishlegs on this one," Astrid said. "The amount of water is a pain to deal with!" Meanwhile, their dragons were listening in, grinning.

"Less water? Seriously?" Hookfang asked, incredulous. "I think I'm dreaming, and I don't want to wake up!"

"But I like baths with more water," Meatlug protested weakly.

"I don't!" Hookfang and Toothless chorused.

"I'm not sure what to think," Stormfly moaned.

"Maybe less water will make the baths better," Barf wondered aloud.

"Or worse," Belch said. "We'll be able to find out soon."

"Hey, guys, why don't we test it out tomorrow?" Hiccup asked. "Meet me at the bathhouse." The gang nodded, before taking their dragons and flying home. Snotlout had a little trouble steering Hookfang, though, as the red Monstrous Nightmare was still daydreaming of the idea of a bath with a lot less water.

The next day, the dragon riders and their dragons were outside the bath-house waiting for Hiccup and Toothless. "What's taking those two so long?" Snotlout whined.

"Maybe he's giving Toothless a bath," Hookfang suggested. "Lucky Night Fury."

"Oh, shut up!" Astrid said, punching Snotlout in the shoulder. "It hasn't even been five minutes." That's when Hiccup and Toothless flew in.

"Sorry I'm late," Hiccup apologized. "I had to go talk to Mildew about why Toothless can't eat him while his teeth are retracted. Anyway, come in. I'll explain what to do once we're inside."

As they walked in, Hookfang whispered to Toothless, "Seriously? Mildew thinks you'll eat him? What horrible thing have you done now?"

"I haven't done anything and I would never eat Mildew!" Toothless protested. "He'd probably give me indigestion." The two laughed.

"Hey, Hiccup, you mind answering a question for me?" Snotlout asked. "Will this get rid of Hookfang's gel? I'm going to need that stuff."

"No, it won't," Hiccup answered. "It will actually be easier to get the flammable gel from him because Monstrous Nightmares secrete more gel after being exposed to small amounts of water."

"Good," Snotlout grinned.

What could he mean by that? Hookfang thought.

"How do we clean them with this stuff?" Tuffnut asked.

"Well, it's simple," Hiccup explained, as he took off Toothless' saddle and tailfin. The other riders did the same with their dragons. "First you take the buckets I've left for you and soak one of the pieces of cloth in there. That's one of them, not both."

"Why do we have four of them?" Tuffnut asked. "I thought we only needed one dry cloth and one wet one."

"One dry cloth and one wet one per person," Hiccup clarified. "If you'd rather share with Ruffnut, I'm happy to take two back."

"NO!" the twins yelled, as they hurriedly got back to cleaning their dragon.

"Why did you have to use cold water?" Barf and Belch whined. "Hey, not there! Hehehehe!"

"Astrid, not so hard!" Stormfly yelped, as Astrid targeted her tummy.

"Hey, don't do that!" Hookfang told Snotlout, biting back a smile.

"I would have preferred more water, but this still feels kinda nice," Meatlug mused. Due to her thick hide, Meatlug didn't see it as being tickly at all. She thought it was a luxurious massage.

"The sooner this stops, the better," Toothless grunted, forcing down laughter.

"Everyone got the first step done?" Hiccup called. There were positive murmurs from around the room. "I'll take that as a yes. Now take the brush next to the bucket and scrub all the dirt off your dragon." Everyone rubbed at the layers of dirt their dragon had accumulated, which for them was a lot more tickly than the wet washcloths.

"Hahahahahahahahahahaha!" Barf and Belch giggled, as Ruffnut and Tuffnut worked on their sides. "Nohohohohohohoho!"

"Astrid, mohohohohove!" Stormfly ordered, to no avail. Astrid didn't know how to speak Dragonese and couldn't understand her.

"Get away from my neheheheck!" Hookfang pleaded.

"Nohohohohot my sihihihihides! Hahahahahahahaha!" Toothless yelped.

"This feels sooo good," Meatlug purred.

As the dragons squirmed and tried to stop the bath (with the exception of Meatlug), their riders became even more agitated. "Toothless, hold still!" Hiccup grunted, scrubbing at the hyper-ticklish undersides of the Night Fury's wings.

"Come on, Barf, it's not that bad," Ruffnut consoled, as she and Tuffnut honed in on Barf and Belch's sensitive necks.

"Hookfang, you stop this right now!" Snotlout ordered, as he meticulously cleaned Hookfang's tummy. Since their riders were now going rougher than they once were, Barf and Belch, Hookfang, Stormfly and Toothless lost it.

"NOHOHOHOHOHOHO MOHOHOHOHOHORE!" Toothless screamed.

"GEHEHEHEHET OHOHOHOFF MEHEHEHEHEHE!" Hookfang begged.

"LEHEHEHEHEAVE ME ALOHOHOHONE!" Stormfly pleaded.

"PUHUHUHUHUHUT THE BRUSHES DOHOHOHOHOHOWN!" Barf and Belch yelled. And then, as an afterthought, they shouted, "PLEHEHEHEHEHEHEASE!"

Finally, the torturous brushes were put down and replaced with dry cloths. All the dragons breathed a sigh of relief. "What next?" Snotlout asked.

"Then you dry them off," Hiccup answered. "Just do it the way you did when you were covering them with water." Nodding, the riders got to work. The dry cloth gave the dragons time to get their breath back as they breathed the giggles out of them . . . well, most of them, anyway. It was still really tickly.

"Ehehehehehehe!" Hookfang snickered.

"Whehehehen is this ohohohover?" Stormfly whimpered.

"Whyyyy did Hiccuhuhuhup make this?" Barf and Belch whined.

"Nohohohot my ideahahahaha!" Toothless told them.

"And we're done!" Hiccup happily chirped, letting all the dragons sigh in relief. "Just put their saddles on them and fly them back home; their bath's over."

"I wanted it to last longer," Meatlug huffed as Fishlegs attached the saddle to her.

"Good thing that's over," Stormfly sighed. "That was awful."

"I hope this never happens to me again," Hookfang moaned.

"We've got to warn the other dragons," Toothless decided, before he was headbutted by Barf and Belch. "Ow!"

"No, we don't," the green Zippleback argued, both heads talking in unison. "If we tell them, they'll want to know how we know, and we'll be laughing stocks."

"Fine," Toothless replied, giving in to Barf and Belch's persuasion as Hiccup reattached his saddle and tailfin. All seemed to be well until Hiccup tested the part of the saddle where his prosthetic leg was supposed to go. That was when the other dragons heard muffled giggles from Toothless, who was biting his tongue.

"Toothless, what are you doing?" Hookfang asked.

"Mahahake him stohohohohop!" Toothless giggled, referring to Hiccup. And then Hookfang understood.

"Oh, you're still a little sensitive there because of the bath, aren't you?" he teased. "And aren't those moving parts in your saddle only making it worse?"

"Yehehehehes!" Toothless answered, squirming now, looking to Hookfang hopefully, as if he was the one who'd stop the horrible saddle from twisting. He didn't expect to be held down as Hiccup continued his work with even more vigour. Hookfang, you're a jerk, Toothless thought to himself, as he continued to hold back ticklish giggles and squeals.

"Shhhhh, hold still, Toothless, it'll be over soon," Hookfang taunted, as Snotlout mounted him.

"All done, Toothless!" Hiccup smiled, mounting Toothless and flying home. Hookfang kept up with him until they had to part ways, a smug grin on his face all the way to his rider's hut. As he landed, Hookfang was just about to get himself some fish and go to sleep before Snotlout interrupted his plans.

"Well, Hookfang, you look refreshed," Snotlout grinned, as he set about getting what looked like a wooden paint-scraper. "How convenient, especially since today is gel-collecting day."

Ohhhh spike, Hookfang thought, as he braced himself.

Over at Hiccup's hut, Toothless' sharp Night Fury ears picked up the sound of incessant, hysterical laughter and begging from Snotlout's hut. Seems Hookfang isn't as immune to this treatment as he'd like to be, Toothless thought. Oh, well, I guess I'll tease him about this after I get some rest. I'm not good with insults when I'm still sleepy.

Two days later, Hookfang, Stormfly, Toothless, Meatlug and Barf and Belch were pursuing their favourite hobby: messing with things they didn't know much about. Today, they'd found a large barrel of paint left above ground by a very foolish Viking. "I wonder what it is," Stormfly mused.

"I saw some humans attaching it to the outside of their nests," Toothless remembered.

"The twins sometimes throw it at each other," Barf volunteered.

"They'd throw anything at each other," Belch disputed.

"Will you stop daydreaming and help me get this gunk down?" Hookfang grunted.

How do I get them to stop? Meatlug wondered. They're going to get themselves into trouble! Suddenly, she had an idea. "Hey, you do know that paint can be all sticky and gross?" she asked sweetly.

"It's not like we're going to eat it," Stormfly dismissed.

"And it takes a really long time to get it off your scales?" Meatlug pressed.

"Meatlug, we'll be careful," Hookfang told her.

"But what if it spills on you by accident?" Meatlug worried. "You don't want another bath, do you?"

Everyone froze when Meatlug mentioned the idea of a bath. Hookfang looked at Stormfly. Stormfly looked at Barf. Barf looked at Belch. Belch looked at Toothless. Toothless looked at Meatlug.

Four blurs were seen getting as far away from the dreaded barrel of paint and the possibility of a bath as possible. Meatlug smirked to herself.

"Never fails," she muttered.