"You should take dinner in the main hall."

Karma's voice cut through the silence like the sharpest of his blades. He couldn't help the way he flinched. He hadn't even noticed that Karma was standing there. Maybe he'd only just entered the room, or maybe he'd been watching. Nagisa didn't really care what Karma did, not at that point. It didn't seem like he should have much time to just stand around and watch him. Not when he had all of this new land to manage.

"Everyone's accepted you're in mourning," Karma further explained, "but you should still show yourself."

Nagisa finally turned his head. "I'm not so hungry."

"You could come sit, though," he came closer to him. "I'm not trying to pressure you."

Not intentionally, maybe. Nagisa didn't know why he was acting like this, though, in all honesty. The news of his mother's death had been shocking, and he was definitely feeling some kind of emotion about it, but he was pretty certain it wasn't grief. Had he not been married to Karma, he might have even felt a sense of relief, of freedom.

"Alright," he said, "I'll come."

He wasn't sure if it was for show, the way Karma took him carefully by the hand. Even in the best of circumstances, Nagisa didn't really enjoy big dinners. Given that Karma had been injured, or incredibly busy with war plans for most of their marriage, he hadn't had to experience a lot of them in this castle.

He felt a certain kind of emptiness when they took their seats, the small court giving him curious looks. Perhaps there was even sympathy in some of their gazes, but Nagisa felt uncomfortable. Even when food was brought out, he still didn't want to eat it. Other than that they were the picture of expectations. A grieving wife and a busy husband.

Except, he didn't want to be Karma's wife. He didn't want to sit and play the role of a united couple so that Karma could sort through his new lands. Lands that should have been Nagisa's the day he was born, and should especially be his now. Not that Nagisa cared about his family name, or being in charge of those lands. In fact, it was something he'd long accepted he wouldn't be good at. It was more… the principal of it all. None of this was Nagisa's choice, that had been taken from him.

Like a storm flurry that had finally settled, he knew right then that he couldn't live with it. Even if that meant living with nothing. He was going to end up suffocating like this… but being free wasn't simple either. Wasn't Nagisa a prisoner? Karma might not treat him like one, but Nagisa knew that there were a lot of things he couldn't do, a lot of things that kept him in the castle.

Nagisa knew right then that he was going to leave.

But when? How? He didn't want to harm Karma with his, though he supposed his feelings were inevitable. There was no way Karma was going to be happy about it. Nagisa just had to pray he wouldn't make it hard, that he cared for him enough to understand, to let him go… If not, Nagisa didn't even know what he was going to have to do.

"I wish to return to our chambers," he uttered, the moment Karma was done eating.

He looked at Nagisa, somewhat taken aback. Thankfully, he just nodded, and excused the both of them. Karma hadn't really needed to do that, and Nagisa felt uncomfortable. He felt like he owed Karma a lot as it was, and he wasn't eager at all to add to that debt. No, that would just make this part, leaving, even harder.

"I need to talk with you," he said the moment they were in private.

Karma remained still. "What about?"

Nagisa gulped, because this could be the end of everything. "I want to leave here."

There was an uncomfortable stillness between them. Well, there hadn't been a much better way he could say it. Nagisa had had to assume that Karma would prefer to take it straight, without any kind of softening of the truth. But perhaps he'd miscalculated, because Karma just stood there, processing it for longer than he should have.

"It's understandable," he said eventually.

That, he hadn't been expecting. "R-really?"

"Of course," he shrugged. "Even when my parents died, I used to sit outside their old bedroom door sometimes at night. If staying at your old home will make you feel better, then there's no reason not to. Our armies should march directly through those lands, anyway."

There was something in Karma's entire demeanour that made Nagisa's heart shatter further. Was it reasonable obliviousness, or straight up denial? Nagisa was well aware of his intelligence, of course, and he knew that Karma was capable of a whole manner of things… but something didn't seem quite right with the way their conversation was going at all.

"I meant permanently," he tried to say firmly, though there was a wobble in his voice. "Karma… I can't live like this."

"Live like what?"

Frustration rose within him. "A girl! I-I know this isn't your fault, I was doing what my mother forced me to, but I'm free of that now. I can't just be your wife. I can't eventually fake a pregnancy and pass children off like I created them. I can't keep dressing and acting like a woman to everyone except from you. No… even if I could, I won't."

The silence was even more deafening, as it washed over Karma's face. That time, though, Nagisa could hear his own heartbeat rising, and it made his head feel like it would spin off his shoulders. He knew Karma wasn't going to take it well. But what other choice did Nagisa have? Surely this was better than just fleeing into the night.

"I won't let you," he said quietly.

Overwhelmed, the hint of a tear slipped out of the corner of his eye. "You don't have a choice."

Nagisa hated it. He didn't like the emotional wordplay part of plotting at all. But whether he'd really meant to or not, Karma was outmanoeuvred. Concealing his gender was something only he was able to control. There was no way Karma could pass him off as a normal wife without his going along with it. The only way he'd stand a chance is if he locked Nagisa up in one of the dungeons, which was a real danger, but Nagisa had to hope he wouldn't take it that far.

"What are you still here for, then?" Karma took a seat, the calm is his voice obviously fake. "You've made up your mind. You clearly know a way out of this castle. It would have been easier to just run away."

"I wanted to talk to you," he said, feeling cold even as the words left his mouth.

Karma didn't even look at him. "You've talked."

"I-I hoped that you cared enough to let me go."

There was no response to that, either, so Nagisa made himself steady on his feet. He had more loose ends to tie here, than just with Karma himself. Perhaps talking to him first had been a slight mistake, but leaving him until last would have felt ingenuine. Like he was really trying to hide something. If only he could melt into a puddle on the ground.

"You're going now?" Karma's head perked up the moment it seemed Nagisa was even considering leaving.

"Not the castle," he said, "not right now."

Karma didn't stop him on the way out of the room.

Once he was in the hallway, though, it occurred to Nagisa that he didn't know what to do. He'd meant it, when he said he didn't want to permanently leave right then, but honestly it might have been the easier option. Still, he didn't feel like he was completely done yet. Although he'd fulfilled his side of the deal, somehow he felt like he owed it to himself to actually talk to Irina. The original plan had been to escape together and then go their separate ways, after all.

Somehow, though, he ended up at someone else's doorway. Well, Korosensei knew the most about his situation, and Nagisa felt that he might have the answers. Or at the very least, some kind of suggestion. He did feel a little bit foolish, though, waiting to knock outside his door. Thankfully he opened up straight away.

"Ah, Nagis-"

"Can I come in?" He didn't mean to sound threatening, but there was no hiding the haste in his tone.

Korosensei immediately moved aside. "Of course."

Nagisa chose not to waste any time, speaking freely the moment the door had closed. There was a lot to catch him up on, and Nagisa knew he was somewhat losing track of himself. The main point was that he didn't know what to do, and he needed an opinion that was less emotionally involved. Korosensei's calm demeanour helped a lot, as he just sat there and listened.

"I don't want to hurt him further," Nagisa finished miserably.

Korosensei hummed. "If he truly cares for you, then hurting yourself in staying will only end up hurting him too."

"Then what should I do?"

"The only way," he said, "that you can leave here whilst having the least effect on Karma, is if you were to die."

Nagisa gaped. "Die?"

He beamed, as though Nagisa had merely answered correctly during a normal tutoring session. "Not permanently of course. That medical assistant… she's quite handy with her elixirs. If we can find something that gives you the appearance of death for some time, then there'll be no reason to come looking for you. You'll have your freedom… but where will you go?"

That was the other difficult question. Free didn't automatically mean safe. And Nagisa… was aware of how much he'd been sheltered. He didn't know basic things like how to find shelter, how to even survive when things weren't handed to him. It wouldn't be smart, to just go out into the world without any kind of plan. He looked at Korosensei, then, but a strange idea sprung forth.

"Assassins usually don't just come to be," he said. "You, as the Reaper… you're known for operating alone. But Irina told me of a place she was brought to in the east as a child, where she was raised and trained."

There was a strange, almost pitiful look on his face. "You'll become an assassin? That's… not an easy road. It's a life without much luxury, no friends or family-"

"I have no family," Nagisa said, his tone heavy. "And there might be nowhere else for me to go. I could be good at killing."

He looked down. "It's not an easy ride. The thing with assassins guilds is that they're very well hidden. Perhaps your handmaiden knows more specifics to the exact location, but it won't be too far from a port. Just beyond the grasslands… most of your books won't talk about the settlements there, outside of Kunugigaoka's territory, but there's thriving society."

"North east?" Nagisa guessed.

"You will not have an easy time," Korosensei repeated. "But I fear you're right, Nagisa. As long as you're certain… Let me know when you want to set things in motion."

When he left, the night time breeze hitting him in the far more spacious hallway, he felt just a little more determined. Now his steps had direction, and lead him towards an open window. The weather was good, at least, which meant the sky was clear. He wasn't the best at navigation, but he knew which way he would have to head.

It made him more confident about arriving in Irina's chambers, despite the late hour. Not that he'd known her to have any kind of regular sleep pattern. He still braced himself, though, just in case she wasn't so happy to see him at that time. Which was probably the most likely option anyway, given her personality.

"Nagisa?" She looked more surprised than anything.

"We can't talk here," he looked around nervously. He had more faith in the security of Korosensei's room, somehow.

Irina grumbled to herself in complaint, but it was clear she could tell it was serious, so she did follow him. Despite the slightly late hour, it wasn't completely unusual for him to be walking around with his handmaiden. His behaviour in general had probably been seen as erratic by most people in their court as it was, and he supposed reputation wasn't even important anymore.

"I've fulfilled my part of the deal," Nagisa said, once they were 'taking a stroll' outside. "I need to leave."

Irina stood still for a moment, before her shoulders relaxed. "You're finally gonna man up and finish the job?"

"Not exactly…" Nagisa swallowed. "I have a plan."

"Oh," she raised an eyebrow. "A plan, huh?"

"Are you still planning to run, too?"

She looked taken aback by it. The thing was, Nagisa knew that just as he had, Irina had started to form a comfortable life here. Now she wasn't a prisoner… maybe she would actually be able to live it. Nagisa wasn't sure if that was really her style, though. In all the time he'd known her, he'd never quite figured out how to predict her thoughts.

"Good luck," she said. "Your court was a bore, but here? It's quite comfortable. I'll move on when I get tired of it."

Quite comfortable with Karma's chief guard too, Nagisa thought, though he didn't voice it. He was happy for her, really. At least she would be getting a shot at a good, normal life. If that was something she really wanted, though, then that's all that mattered. Even if Nagisa was in the best of circumstances, he wasn't sure that was something for him.

"I might have one more thing to ask you," he said. "About the man who trained you."

She raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

Nagisa did his best to summarise his plans, and though Irina was interested, he could tell she was also sceptical. "But I need to be able to find them. I thought… you might know where they are. More than anyone."

"I can't help you much there," she said easily. "It's something you learn how to find. But," she let out a heavy breath, "I can point you in the right direction. Lovro will help you, if you show him the dagger I gave you."

Nagisa returned to his own chambers with a heavy heart. Even though he had a direction, the other realities of his situation remained. Karma was actually already asleep, though his face didn't look so peaceful. Potechi had chosen to curl up in the corner, rather than on the mattress with him, which further gave Nagisa the feeling of something being deeply wrong.

He removed his shoes, though, and simply lay down next to Karma. It had felt so alien to lie with him at first, but over the weeks Nagisa had gotten used to it, been comfortable to have Karma at his side. Even if it was for the last time, he wished he could enjoy the peace between them that came at night, but he was aware that had passed.

Karma was sitting on the end of the bed, when he eventually woke up. That surprised Nagisa a little, because he didn't usually stick around like that. He was just still, though, turned away from him. Even slightly groggy from being asleep, Nagisa knew he had to do something. Even if he was sure that talking much more wouldn't fix it.

"You're still here," Karma said for him, when he realised Nagisa had woken up.

Nagisa swallowed. "I told you I didn't want to just run away."

"Maybe you should," he said.

"Karma," he scooted forwards, so that Karma had to look him in the eye whether he wanted to or not. "I don't want to make this any harder then it already is. I-I actually have a plan, if you'll help me with it."

He turned. "Plan?"

"We should fake my death. The lands you wanted from me… they're still yours, no matter what happens to me. You said yourself, you don't need me to take over the crown. If there's no living legitimate heirs, anyway, it's an even battle."

Karma's fist clenched. "It won't be so easy to just fake it."

"Korosensei suggested some kind of drug," he tried, "that will give me the appearance of death for a short time. That's the best way to do it, I think. There's plenty of ways I could be slipped out of the castle passageways, then I can leave through the village."

"What if you never woke up?" Karma said. "Is… staying here worse than death?"

He took his hand. "I have to try. This will be… a lot easier for both of us if you help. Do you care for me?" He got out.

Karma let go of him. "I'll hear what Korosensei has to say."

It didn't take long for Korosensei to arrive at their chambers with a knowing look in his eye. Along with him was Manami Okuda, the girl who had been so helpful to Karma whilst he was injured. She looked completely nervous, even with Korosensei right beside her. Somehow he understood that, though, this must be a somewhat intimidating experience for her.

"We've discussed what I know about poisons, combined with Manami's knowledge of medicine," he started.

She bowed her head nervously. "I-I think this elixir will work best. It will put you into a-a kind of sleep for around a day. But your heart will be so slow… you could mistake it for death."

"You should take it at night time," Korosensei said. "That'll allow time for the death to be announced, and you can slip out after dark."

Karma finally cleared his throat, looking Manami directly in the eye. "Can this hurt him?"

Blood rushed to her face. "O-only if he takes too much! But I already made sure it was the right quantity."

He took the vial from her. "Please leave us."

Nagisa's heart felt like it might jump out of his chest. Even the prospect of things starting to go well for him made him feel better. Finally, the one thing he'd wanted all his life was going to happen. There was nothing, he realised then, that meant more to him than that. To finally live. But he would be going without Karma.

"It's the only way," Nagisa said quietly.

Karma just looked down. "We'll do it tonight."

Something odd struck him about Karma. Granted, he hadn't known him for all that long at all, but he knew he wasn't acting like himself. Nagisa had at least expected more anger, or for him to at least say or do something. But instead, Karma was like that, like he'd been defeated. It was the last way Nagisa wanted to leave things. It didn't look like there was much he could do about that, though. Even Potechi looked bothered, perhaps reading the energy between them.

"I think Potechi wants to be let out," he said.

Karma didn't reply at all, so Nagisa just motioned the wolf in silence, leading him the way out of the room. Nagisa didn't have any real goodbyes left to say, but he did think about this castle that had housed him. It hadn't been the worst place to stay at all, even if he hadn't been himself throughout. A part of him knew he was going to miss its comforts.

He felt a deep sadness, as Potechi happily ran around him, practically basking in the fresh air. It struck Nagisa then that he was going to have to leave him behind too, surely. Nagisa barely knew where he was going, and he probably wouldn't be able to take enough supplies to feed the both of them. He couldn't uproot everything. He only wished he could really explain that to Potechi, even if it seemed kind of stupid.

The melancholy meant that the rest of his day passed alarmingly quickly. Honestly he'd thought it would go slower, since he was waiting for something now, but it was merely the blink of an eye. If he somehow lived through all of this, would his time here feel the same? Just a passing moment before the real start of his life?

The most important thing Nagisa knew was that he couldn't do anything considered suspicious. If this was going to go smoothly, and he'd be able to convince the whole court of his death… he definitely couldn't be seen hanging around aimlessly alone. A part of him really didn't feel ready, to face Karma for the last time.

"Please take him for some food," Nagisa said, as he passed the servants closest to his chambers.

At least used to Potechi, rather than frightened, he nodded. "Of course, My Lady."

Nagisa wondered if that was the last time somebody would address him like that. Though, he supposed he was never going to get 'My Lord' either. But maybe being plain Nagisa wouldn't be so bad after all. House Shiota was already at an official dead end, completely killed off. Nagisa didn't feel much attachment to the Akabane name he occupied either, though. No, Nagisa of No House would do.

"Oh," Nagisa said, when he realised immediately he wouldn't be alone, "you're already here."

Karma looked up at him. "Would you rather I wasn't?"

"I'd rather you speak freely," he said. "I don't want to remember you like this."

"You want the truth?" A mad fire danced in Karma's eyes, and he shot to his feet at once, his much more intimidating height causing Nagisa to subconsciously back up against the wall. "I hate this. Everything about it. Who do you think you are, huh? You really think you can survive the outside world? You've barely even stepped foot in it. And that's if you even live through whatever kind of elixir they've cooked up. Manami is talented but she's never been properly trained and Korosensei is an assassin. He makes people stay dead."

"I'm not weak," Nagisa's voice trembled, but he found it. "I saved your lif-"

What he wasn't expecting was for Karma to dart down, claiming his lips. He was too unprepared to stop him, though it wasn't a particularly nice kiss. It wasn't really rough either, however, not like Karma was trying to make some kind of point. It felt more like some kind of deep routed desperation, and Nagisa had no idea how to take it.

"I don't want you to go," Karma's tone was quiet when they broke apart, small.

"If there was a way," he said, "a way that made sense to stay here and for me to live as the person I really am, I would, Karma. But there isn't. You know there isn't, otherwise you'd have already come up with it."

He turned his head away, staring at the ground. "Why couldn't you say something sooner? Before I started to feel…"

Nagisa knew then he had to do something, because his heart too was crumbling right there. Perhaps it would have been easier if they'd both been spared from this. But right then, Nagisa needed to show Karma something he couldn't with his words. He reached for his cheek, shifting onto his tiptoes to kiss his lips again.

It felt somewhat like being woven back together. Almost immediately, Karma changed his own weight, sliding a hand against the small of Nagisa's back to support him, as he leant down better. Nagisa wished he could forget everything else, and for a moment of bliss he almost actually did. There was so much wrong in the way he felt, but this felt right.

He almost wished he'd realised how effective this method of communication was sooner. He wound his arms around Karma's neck, pulling then even closer together and Karma's own grip tightened. Just a small part of Nagisa's awareness remained, the tiniest voice trying to scream out that he'd be swallowed whole if he wasn't careful. It didn't win out, though.

At some point, they mutually became rougher, grabbing and pressing at each other with more determination. A familiar heat rose up within Nagisa, but he didn't feel particularly anxious about it anymore. He didn't really have time to, matching the movements of Karma's lips, tongue, his everything.

It wasn't clear who exactly pushed who, but all of a sudden the back of Nagisa's legs met the back of the bed. Karma's weight fell on top of him, though he didn't have time to feel the pain from it. Their lips had become disconnected for a moment, but they chased after each other again, almost immediately finding relief.

Karma's hands tugged at his garments, pulling him in, and Nagisa allowed it, welcomed it. His heat was travelling southwards, though every each of him that touched Karma burned up like a fever. Instinctually, he knew he wanted him closer, so he pressed Karma's hands further towards the fastenings of his dress, as clear as he could make it that it was okay.

He only hesitated for a moment, before untying his grown and tossing it into the corner. He would never be needing it again. Feeling bold, he did the same with Karma's over and undershirt, leaving his chest bare. To do so, they'd had to stop kissing, and Nagisa's breaths started to catch up with him, along with the reality of their circumstances.

It wasn't as if he'd never seen Karma without a shirt before. Nagisa had spent countless nights sleeping beside him just like that, but it was clearly different. A sharp memory reminded him of a time before, when this had happened. It struck fear in him for a moment, even though he knew he had nothing to fear. Karma already knew the truth about him.

Apparently he didn't care either, because he easily slotted himself between Nagisa's legs, lips moving to his neck. That allowed Nagisa to breathe out heavily, as a certain kind of pressure grew. Karma shifted, then, and finally there was some real friction. Nagisa's head slammed down onto the pillow as his back arched, chasing the sensation.

Karma complied, clutching his body tight as he purposely ground down. Nagisa exhaled heavily, grabbing onto his arm just so he had something to hold. Any sense he had left had completely abandoned him, but that didn't even seem to matter anymore. Right then, all he really wanted to do was feel.

"Nagisa," Karma's breath tickled against his neck, hands shaking too. "This feels-"

It would be his last night with Karma. He was going to have to run to the ends of the earth for the price of his freedom, even if it was worth it… He couldn't ignore that what he felt right there was real. Just as real as the weight of Karma's body on top of him, the tingle of their chests pressed together, almost skin to skin. And that feeling had a limit, it was going to slip away from him. It might very well be the last time he would ever see Karma.

"Keep going," he said, voice steadier than he thought possible. "I want whatever you'll give me."

There was a strange look in Karma's eye. "How far?"

Nagisa sat up a little, then. "How far is there?" Blood rushed to his face. "I-I don't know much-"

"Me neither," Karma said, a little too quickly. Then, quieter, "I wasn't so keen on siring bastards."

Of course, Nagisa did know how it worked. Irina had given him a very in depth explanation, back when he had every intention to kill Karma during the process. Since it was an assassins lesson, he'd been detached from the actual feeling of it. Nagisa hadn't really known… he could want someone in the way he wanted Karma right then. Even if that want was an abstract thing he struggled to form into words. He was essentially clueless when it came to the reality.

"This touching is nice," he said.

Karma appeared to be thinking, though. "I do know… there are ways. Some women do it to avoid getting pregnant, but-"

He reached out for Karma's face, then, adjusting his gaze so their eyes met. "I trust you, Karma."

"Stay here," he swallowed, and surprisingly got off the bed.

Nagisa didn't move, but he was curious. He wasn't aware that they were going to need anything… though he didn't actually know what Karma had in mind. Given how good everything else had felt, though, he really did trust him. He wanted to the chance to feel it, feel everything… even if it was just going to be once.

He came back into view, a small jug in his hands. It took Nagisa a moment, but he recognised it as regular ointment, just used to soften the skin after a normal day's work. Karma set it down beside the bed, though, so Nagisa wasn't immediately sure why he'd brought it. He paused for a moment, before climbing back on top of him, a knee either side of his legs.

"Ready?"

A part of him wasn't really sure, but he knew he wanted to try. So he just nodded, and Karma reached for the end of his night dress, pushing it up and off. Nagisa shifted to help him, the friction of fabric against his skin making him shiver, though he was glad to have it away. Losing the clothing didn't make him feel any cooler, though, not with the mutual heat coming from both their bodies.

It was certainly the first time he'd been naked in front of Karma. The first time he'd really been naked in front of anyone. For a moment, Karma just looked at him, and he felt incredible conscious of himself. Knowing he was a man was one thing, but really seeing it… That's where Karma's eyes ended up fixating, anyway, where he was clearly hard.

"Ah," Nagisa sounded out without really meaning to, when Karma's hand swooped down and gripped him there.

"Good?" He said, rubbing him in a way that almost made Nagisa choke on his breath.

"Wait," he said, and Karma gave him a questioning look. "This feels unfair."

Karma didn't seem to know what he meant, so Nagisa leant up, dipping his thumbs below the waist of his trousers. His breath hitched, so Nagisa continued, tugging them down and off, discarded with the rest of their clothes. His own erection sprung free, and though that stuck his nerves, he knew he wanted to touch him too.

He didn't get the chance, though, because Karma stopped him, catching his wrist. Nagisa was a little confused, until Karma pushed it back, pinning it down above his head. He used the opportunity to lean in closer, lips settling against his neck. Nagisa was sensitive there, so he shivered at the feeling, tilting his head to give better access.

Karma's other hand migrated from between his legs to his chest, dragging up the length of his torso. He let out another sound, when his thumb brushed against his nipple. Nagisa hadn't realised he was so sensitive there before, to the point it was almost a little uncomfortable, too much. In fact, everything was starting to get intense.

Whether he really meant to or not, his hips kept shifting in search of more friction, and then finally their groins somewhat lined up. Karma groaned lightly, then, and Nagisa responded in kind. Something was sparking up within him, and he was going to be taken over by it. He didn't know exactly what it was that he wanted, only that he wanted more.

"Hang on," Karma pulled away like it pained him, and shifted to stick his fingers in the jar, coating them in what looked like oil.

Nagisa was about to ask what he was doing with it, but then he yanked his legs open, and he didn't even know what to say. Karma skipped out on his erection entirely, pressing the fingers right up against his back exit. Or, he turned his head to the side with embarrassment, maybe entrance would be a better word in these circumstances.

He forced himself to remember that he'd elected to trust Karma, who seemed to know a little bit more about what they were doing than he did. It felt strange, but not bad. Subconsciously he clenched and unclenched, shying away from the feeling a little, but there was something that made him want. Pressure came though, when Karma actually inserted one of the fingers, and though it didn't hurt, it was certainly strange.

"What are you-"

"Relax," he withdrew his finger. "You're not like a girl back here."

"Well I should hope no-"

Karma cut him off with a kiss, then. At first Nagisa was confused by the sudden change, but he melted into it almost instantly. When Karma's finger returned, simply rubbing him that time, Nagisa was too distracted to do much about it. He tried his best to relax, as he pushed it in once more. It definitely didn't feel good, but with everything else going on it didn't really matter.

"Is it working?" Karma pulled away from his lips for long enough to ask.

Nagisa tried to catch his breath. "What's it supposed to do?"

He swallowed. "Get looser? So… it won't hurt."

There was a flush on Karma's cheeks, which lead Nagisa to pull him down into a kiss again. He was experiencing this odd whole body confusion, but he knew in an instinctual way that he wanted Karma then. If Karma meant… he wanted them to be joined… Nagisa was in no way to object. If anything he tugged Karma closer, spread his legs wider.

"Show me," he said.

Karma kissed the corner of his mouth once, before pulling back, shifting up so he was sat on his knees. Nagisa watched curiously, though complied when Karma tugged at his legs, getting him into the right position for it apparently. He was nervous, but no real fear went through him then. He breathed out one last time, and then let himself feel.

He pushed into him carefully, at least. It wasn't exactly slow, in fact he was sure immediately he'd bitten off more than he could chew. The width of Karma's erection was so much more than that of his finger, even if the oils had helped him slide in easy enough. Nagisa did his best not to resit it, though the sensation wasn't a natural one.

Although he didn't feel much pain, he thrashed desperately, legs squeezing tight around Karma's hips in a signal to stay there for a second. It burned, in a way he knew would end up sore, but mostly it was just pressure. Every other inch of him, though, was full of feeling. Karma seemed to get that, his hand sliding up against Nagisa's hip, moving to grip his erection again.

Another moan was stolen from him, then. Nagisa wasn't completely innocent to that kind of sensation, but it had never been like that. He keened into it, barely even noticing that the discomfort was starting to fade. He was still aware, though, that Karma wasn't really doing anything for himself. He wondered if it felt good for him, though that question was answered shortly when he could feel Karma twitch inside him.

Nagisa meant to tell him it was okay, but all he got out was "Karma."

Karma moved his hands and gripped his hips tightly, digging his fingers in hard, and then he started to move. It was still slow and careful, which Nagisa was grateful for. The burn did come back, but there was something else there. He was sensitive, and Karma's length rubbing his insides was at the very least pleasant. He found himself rocking his hips back into it, his own hands moving to clutch the bedsheets.

It took them a moment to find a rhythm. Immediately after which, apparently Karma wasn't satisfied, because he suddenly shifted forwards, elbows bearing his weight so that he was leaning over Nagisa again. There was concentration in his eyes, though it was hard to see with his hair hanging down.

Nagisa gasped at one particularly good movement, his hand moving to Karma's forearm, before he clutched his back. Somehow he just knew that he wanted him closer. His own hips started moving too, meeting Karma's almost automatically. There was something… his thighs squeezed around Karma's waist one more time, and his head fell back with a cry.

He really understood it, then. The poetry, the pictures, even the hushed gossip around court. A part of him knew he might end up yearning for this for the rest of his life, because it was more than good. Karma seemed attuned to the change, purposely shifting his position to aim for that again. His weight dropped completely, barely even holding his weight anymore as he ground into that spot.

Nagisa thrashed, unable to contain himself. His toes curled, and he scrambled for something to hold onto. Karma didn't seem to mind, that he was digging his back. He panted, but it was mostly Nagisa making the noise. He couldn't help it, unable to really put words to his pleasure. It somehow didn't feel enough, though like he was at the edge of something.

"More," he eventually said, "Karma-"

Karma groaned, shifting back up a little so he could go harder. Nagisa's eyelids fluttered, before he eventually decided to just close them, concentrating on the sensation instead. The tingles, like tiny fireworks inside him, travelled from his crotch down through his legs. He wanted.

It wasn't just about the physical feeling of it, though. He was glad to be in Karma's arms. Nagisa forced himself to open his eyes, looking up at him. He'd never thought he'd have the chance to feel like this in his life. There had been something building between he and Karma for a little while, and whilst they were connected it was amplified.

What other feeling was there than love?

"Nagisa," he choked out, "I'm-"

"Don't stop," he said. "Please-"

Karma locked up, before moaning deeply as his hips sped up with no real defined pace. Nagisa held on tightly, so close to falling over the edge too. He felt his release inside him, which surprised him a little, but the initial warmth wasn't unpleasant. Moments later, Karma collapsed on top of him, but not before reaching between their bodies to jerk and Nagisa's then practically painful erection again.

He snapped pretty quickly like that. He didn't have time to actually warn Karma it was coming, since it surprised him too. It was an intense, whole body sensation that seemed to last for minutes, though he was pretty certain it couldn't have actually been that long. His ears were ringing, though, even as he came down from it.

"Karma," Nagisa strained, realising just how much of Karma's weight was collapsed on top of him. "Can't… breathe…"

Karma didn't reply to him in words, but he did move his weight, pulling out of him as he did so to collapse at his side. The more Nagisa's heartbeat slowed back down to normal, the more he realised he felt kind of sticky and sore. Karma didn't reach over to hold him, instead just stared up at the ceiling. Should he say something?

A few moments passed before Karma rolled out of bed again, returning with a wash cloth. Nagisa hadn't expected him to take care of him like that, but even the cool water felt good against his stomach, and then between his legs as Karma cleaned up the remainder of both their releases. It tickled a little, but even though he was hypersensitive, it felt nice.

He blinked slowly afterwards, wondering just how long they'd been going for. "We're probably running out of time. I should take the elixir soon."

He could even feel Karma stiffen. "Hm."

"Karma," Nagisa said, his throat tight. "Karma, were you trying to change my mind?"

For a very long moment, he said nothing. "I'll take it it didn't work."

"I can't love you as a wife," Nagisa started to pull his light undergown on, realising that it might very well be for the last time. "If I could be with you, and still be the person I really I am, I would, but-"

"I know that," he snapped. "I know it's a ridiculous thing to ask of you."

He faced him, to find he was already sat up, pulling on his own discarded bottoms. "Then don't ask."

"I won't," Karma paced over, then, planting the bottle in his hands. "I won't, but that doesn't mean I don't disagree. If this is your only way, then I'll go with it."

Nagisa stared at the bottle. "You're sure of the plans?"

Karma's hand came down on top of his. "Once your death has been announced and your body seen by enough people, you'll be moved from the infirmary to the passageways. From there, you can make your escape."

He nodded. Somehow, there wasn't a lot else he had left to say. How could there be? He tried his best to stand still, and pressed the bottle to his lips. Once the elixir was in his mouth, he just about noticed it had no real flavour, before he swallowed it down in one go. His throat burnt a little, in a way that certainly wasn't pleasant.

"How do you feel?" Karma asked.

Nagisa blinked. "Maybe I should sit-"

Everything went black at once.

The first thing Nagisa felt was uncomfortable stiffness, as though he'd slept far too long.

His body was cold, but rather than being completely alone, he felt what was most definitely body heat. It was nice, so he leant into it a bit, before the rest of his brain started to wake up. He was supposed to be alone in the castle tunnels, not being carried by someone. Thankfully, that someone had also brought a candle to help guide them.

"Karma?" Nagisa strained. Had something gone wrong?

"We're almost there," he said. "Is this the way you came out during that battle?"

His eyes tried to adjust. "Maybe?"

"Can you stand?" Karma attempted to put him on his feet, although he was holding most of his weight.

He was certainly unsteady, but able to take a step. He decided to cling to the stone walls instead of Karma, finding firm support as his body truly started to wake up. Nagisa was sure he'd manage to walk the rest of the way. Not that there seemed to be much walking, because the sound of other footsteps completely stopped.

Wait.

"Why is Potechi here?" He wasn't exactly unhappy to see him, but certainly confused. The wolf bound up to him though, apparently ready for whatever it was Karma had planned.

"He wouldn't leave you alone," Karma said. "Now come on."

His body still felt weak, but he made it up, Karma following with the young wolf. The storage room they'd entered into was lit only by the candle Karma had brought, but he could easily make out a small pile that was out of place. It appeared to be some kind of riding leathers… decent, sturdy clothes, amongst a few other supplies.

"You made a different plan?" Nagisa said quietly, looking down at the supplies.

"It was a long day," Karma said, "so get dressed."

Nagisa did as he said, with no capacity to be ashamed of stripping off. With the fabric on his body, Nagisa could tell it wasn't designed for sitting around courts. When he was done with the trousers and shirt, Karma looked him over carefully, as though he was inspecting his handiwork. Nagisa might have even felt a little shy, if they were in better circumstances.

"This is yours?" He asked, holding up the knife Irina had passed him all that time ago. Instead of simply handing it over, though, he reached behind him, grabbed his hair in on position, and sliced.

"Wh- "

Karma looked serious, handing over the blade but keeping what was a considerable length of the blue hair in his grip. "You don't want to be mistaken for a woman out there."

His hand went to the back of his head, and the absence of his longer hair felt incredibly strange. He knew, though, that they didn't have any kind of time to just stand around. Karma was wearing a hood, so Nagisa elected to pull his up too as he was lead out of what seemed to be a back exit, only to find a horse with supplies already strapped to it.

"You won't get anywhere on foot," Karma explained.

Nagisa's eyes darted between them, before all he could think to do was fling his arms around Karma's shoulders, pulling him in for one final embrace. "I won't forget this."

"Come on," his throat was strained. "We don't have time."

He looked down at Potechi. "What about… him? Karma-"

Karma just shrugged, though. "He's a wild animal. If he wants to follow you, then I can't stop him."

There was no further argument to be had. Nagisa braced himself, before finally mounting the horse Karma had brought him. It wasn't any of the 'main' Akabane horses, he felt somewhat certain, likely one who wouldn't be missed. He was still a little dazed, but with the adrenaline running through him, he was pretty sure he would be able to ride.

"Good luck," Karma said.

All Nagisa could do was nod, as he took hold of the reins and squeezed his thighs. The horse took off without much provocation, and suddenly looking behind him wasn't even an option. Potechi had definitely decided to follow, matching their pace pretty easily. There was more Nagisa felt he should have said, but as he sped out of the village, the taste of civilisation he knew, it was too late.

All Nagisa could do was ride off into the night.