Riza Hawkeye found herself dreading the winter months year after year. It wasn't because she was unaccustomed to them, but rather just didn't prefer them. Hawkeye had experienced her fair share of cold winters throughout her childhood. The sharp biting winds and the freezing temperature was just as bad, if not worse, out west where she grew up, but there was a difference between the winter felt by a young child and the winter felt by war-weary Lieutenant in the Amestrian Military. Winter came with an unusual sense of claustrophobia, a persisting idea that one needed to be close to another to be warm in the winter months that was ever present whenever the temperature dropped below forty degrees.
It wasn't that the Lieutenant was opposed to these ideals, or that she was as cold as the winter months themselves. In fact, quite the contrary was true. In quiet, rare moments there was a secret kindness to Riza Hawkeye that didn't go unnoticed by those close to her. But she was aware of the things she couldn't have and Winter only seemed to make that reminder much more poignant.
Perhaps these feelings came from childhood memories buried deep within her subconscious. She'd never felt the warmth of another in the winter, never the love of a parent or a lover. Her mother was cold in the grave and her father was as distant as the sun in a snowstorm; as if he wasn't even there are all. Wintertime was never described with parental warmth for Hawkeye, just the flowers she laid on her mother's grave every Solstice and the gift of another unwrapped book each year from her father.
"You want me to take those to the Colonel?"
The voice startled Hawkeye out of her thoughts, though she didn't express such visibly. She was a natural when it came to masking reactions, very rarely would a genuine emotion slip through her façade.
Hawkeye nodded at Fuery as he picked up the stack of finished papers sitting on the edge of her desk. "Thank you, Fuery. Oh, and please tell the Colonel to make sure he notes the clause at the end of page nineteen."
"Yes, ma'am," he replied and she listened to the sound of his military boots click against the polished wood floor of the office as she got back to work.
There was no indication between how much time passed between then and the next time she looked up from her work, startled at how dark the sky had become. For a long time she had been in her own head with nothing but her paperwork and the telltale sounds of the office to keep her company. Breda and Havoc's laughing and chatting as they moved their pieces across the chessboard, the clattering of tools and metal as Fuery took apart the inner workings of a radio, the occasional flutter of paper when Falman flipped to the next page in the newspaper he was reading. The simple, ever-present ticking of the office.
The outlier to this persistent calm was the sound of two sets of footsteps coming down the hall towards the office door.
There was no question in Hawkeye's mind who these footsteps belonged to, they were as distinct as the pair they belonged to. So different than the mundane day to day life in the office; they brought color to the monotony.
One set of footfalls thudded heavily against the wood floors of the hall, the sound of metal clanking against itself with each step. The other was uneven, one step hardly noticeable except for the slight sound of the heel of a platform boot clicking again the hall and the other much heavier, the thump of an automail leg.
At this, Hawkeye looked up. They all did, except for the Colonel who was tucked away in his office with the door shut and either didn't hear the sound or didn't plan to walk out into the main office to greet the newcomers.
The Elrics making an occasional appearance in the office was always a welcome distraction. Edward's flamboyant brashness and Alphonse's careful and quiet kindness. Over the past two years since Ed had become a State Alchemist— and therefore a part of Mustang's unit— both boys had really grown to become strong additions to the team, both adding their strong value as a pair as well as individually. They both had important strengths that were unique to just them separately that shone through in the most crucial moments.
"Damn, I didn't think they were coming back until next week at least. They left what, three days ago?" Havoc asked with a cigarette lit between his lips.
"Maybe the Colonel them let them off the hook for the holiday," Fuery suggested.
"Doubtful."
The footsteps grew louder and louder as the boys approached the door. "Impact in T minus three… two… one…" joked Breda and the instant he finished his countdown the door flew open with a bang, smacking hard against the wall as Edward kicked it open with his automail foot.
"Brother!" Alphonse quietly chided at Ed's bad manners, and Hawkeye internally cringed at the thought of the giant dent in the wall getting any bigger.
The pair of them, or rather just Ed, was a clear indication of the elements outside. His hair was tousled by the wind and his cheeks and nose were both bright red from the freezing temperatures. It was also clear from his poor posture and the way his shoulder slumped that this weather was making his automail hurt, though Hawkeye knew better than to expect Ed to complain about that in front of Al.
"It's fucking cold out there," Ed announced to the entire office.
"We know, Chief, we've been here all week," Havoc replied, moving his queen across the board when Breda wasn't looking. "You need some warmer clothes. Of course you're freezing in that thin coat of yours. You don't even have a scarf or a hat or a decent pair of gloves."
"I don't need those things, I'm fine," Ed stated, swiping at his nose which had begun to run.
Like anyone would have believed that lame excuse. There was no point in covering up the fact that he was cold, but leave it to Ed to complain about the weather, yet deny the simple fact that his "fashion taste" was going to get him sick when all he needed were some warmer clothes.
Havoc stood and moved across the room to his desk, opening the top drawer. The Second Lieutenant then pulled out a green scarf and tossed it to the young Major. The scarf was clearly used, days against the elements had started to unravel the fringe edge of the thing and there was what Hawkeye hoped was only a coffee stain near the middle.
"What the hell is this?" Ed asked, catching the scarf and holding it out in front as if the thing was rabid and he was at risk of being bitten by it.
"A scarf. Take it before you catch a cold out there."
"I'm not wearing this ugly thing. Everyone knows green clashes with red anyway."
"Chief, you're going to freeze your ass off if you don't—"
"Fullmetal!" The Colonel interrupted with the bang of his office doors.
Damn, someone's going to have to file for damage to the walls by the doors in here, Hawkeye thought as everyone immediately spun around to face the Colonel. For the split second before Ed turned around, Hawkeye watched as Ed's face scrunched up into that look of disgust towards his superior. An expression that did not stem from hatred the way he acted like it did, but rather teenage rebellion and annoyance at the Colonel for another useless mission.
"How was your mission down south?" the Colonel asked in mock curiosity, as if it wasn't already clear that it had fizzled out to nothing.
Ed scowled. "You, Colonel Bastard, sent us on some good for nothing mission! The people of Hollyhead were a bunch of dumbasses who couldn't even—"
"That's enough, Fullmetal. You can finish debriefing me in my office."
"Finish debriefing you? There's nothing to report because—"
"Fullmetal. My office. Now."
The Colonel stalked off into his office, not waiting around to see if Edward followed.
For a moment, Ed just stood there indignant, before eventually releasing a sigh and following, pulling the heavy office doors shut behind him.
The spectacle of Ed's ranting and huffing was short-lived, and the four men made their ways back to what they had been doing before the Elric brothers showed up. Once they'd all gotten back to work, Hawkeye got up, walking the length of the large, open office to the coffee machine on the opposite wall, passing Al on her way. The suit of armor sat down on the battered, red sofa in the same place he always did when his brother met with the Colonel. There was a significant dent in the cushion from all the times he'd sat there, but no one said a word.
While waiting for her coffee to brew, the First Lieutenant made her way over to the red couch and sat beside the still boy.
"You want to help me with a favor while I wait for my coffee to brew?" she asked.
"Sure!"
"Help me gather these old documents off my desk, we need to take them downstairs and shred them."
He reached the desk before her, picking up all three stacks of documents in his giant hands, leaving none for her. "I'm afraid I don't know where the paper shredder is," he admitted, a shred of embarrassment running through his voice.
"It's okay, I've got to go with you anyway."
They ended up walking through the hallways quietly, passing other soldiers and officers as they went. Hawkeye could see that a small layer of snow had built up along the outside ledges of window sills. Not much, but enough to officially declare today the first snow of the season.
"You excited for the holiday?" she asked him once they began shredding papers, trying to make small talk with the boy.
He looked away guiltily the same way a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar would have. "I guess so."
It was clear to her that something was bothering him, but Hawkeye had no idea how to breach the touchy subject.
"Maybe the two of you could take a break for a little while. I think some time off would be good for the two of you. I could mention something to the Colonel," she offered, giving him a small smile.
He shrugged, "thanks for the offer, Lieutenant, but I can't. Brother wouldn't want to."
"Why not? You two deserve a rest."
"It's just— he's always trying to keep busy with another mission, he never wants to slow down. He's never willing to take a break"
"Do you wish you two would slow down?"
He stood there for a moment, contemplating her question. "Sometimes," he finally decided. He waited there wringing his hand for a moment longer, trying to put together a further explanation for his answer, knowing it warranted a longer justification. Though his helmet hindered any display of thoughts or emotions he was trying to express, she could very clearly see the gears turning in his nonexistent head.
"I want to get mine and Brother's bodies back as soon as we can, but I also know Ed needs to take a break from time to time. He runs himself down, constantly working, constantly fighting. He's exhausted but he refuses to admit it. He won't say anything to me even though it's clear how hard all of this is on him. When I tell him it's okay to slow down, he pushes me away."
It was a melancholy sight to see Al this conflicted over the topic. She wanted to reach out to him, to comfort him, to bring some kind of solace to this troubled child. But she knew nothing of children, how to comfort them. Even then, any other situation would have been easier than comforting Al, who wouldn't have been able to feel a reassuring touch and find relief in the embrace. Here she was, at a complete loss of what to do.
It had always been clear that Ed would stop at nothing until he set things right. It was obvious in every interaction she'd had with the young State Alchemist that the guilt of that disaster transmutation ate away at him like a parasite and that by constantly working he was pushing that guilt away as best he could. It would continue to fester, to grow, but not in a place where it was visible to him.
Alphonse was harder to read, though. Perhaps it was the armor, the mask of a helmet that was his head, constantly stoic, never letting on a single emotion. It would have been easy to fault that as the problem, but Hawkeye felt the answer lied elsewhere. Alphonse's emotions became easier to figure out once you got to know him. Between the tone of his voice and his body language, he was very well adept to expressing how he felt through the limited tools he was given.
But that only scratched the surface of the way he truly felt, and Hawkeye had a feeling he had learned to control his emotions well so his hurt never showed. That, alongside his constantly chipper attitude, was the same defense mechanism that she saw in Mustang's well-crafted persona.
But the boy never complained. He didn't say anything when a situation surrounding his armor arose that clearly made him uncomfortable. He never spoke of himself, of how he was doing, of the things he wanted and wished for, only how Ed felt and how Ed wasn't doing okay. Hawkeye knew that that kind of life of silence was taking a toll on him.
"So do you think you need a break?" she asked again, this time trying to word it slightly different to figure out how he was doing.
"Well I think that Brother—"
"No Al, not Ed. Do you need a break?"
The question and her implication had caught him off guard and he went radio silent.
"I think I'm doing okay. I can't get tired or exhausted, so I don't really need a break," he murmured softly. A quiet lie, one hard for Hawkeye to argue against, but an obvious lie to the both of them nonetheless.
She'd have to come back to this. Hawkeye didn't want to drop the topic, but she didn't know how to reply to his implication that he was nothing more than the armor he was bound to. "Not everything is about Ed, Al. It's okay to focus on yourself sometimes. You have needs that need to be met just as much as Ed does, even if yours aren't of the same physical nature."
Al didn't say anything to that, he just kept fiddling with the leather straps of his shoulder spikes.
"I'll put in a word with the Colonel, tell him to give it a rest every now and then," she smiled, laying a hand on his arm.
"Oh no, you don't have to do that! I wouldn't want to trouble you!"
"It's okay, Alphonse. The two of you are just kids, you deserve to be happy for the holiday, to be able to celebrate and enjoy yourselves."
He looked at her shyly and nodded before turning back to the machine in front of him and pushing the last of the documents in.
.oO0Oo.
"So how was the mission in Hollyhead?" she asked once they had returned to the main office and he had journeyed back to his usual waiting place.
She knew that all ears in the room were on them at this moment, though the four officers did their best to keep themselves looking busy as they eavesdropped. After Ed's extravagant show of citing an entire town of people as "a bunch of dumbasses", it was only reasonable that they were curious about what prompted such an accusation.
"It was good," he started nonchalantly, before suddenly sitting up from his hunched position and waving his hands in front of him as if trying to suddenly dispel that notion. "No! No, it wasn't good. Those two girls died and that wasn't good. I meant that the mission wasn't hard and that we didn't have to do much to figure out that it wasn't some "rogue alchemist" who killed them. Of course it isn't good when people die! Sorry, that didn't come out as I meant for it to and I should probably—"
"Alphonse," she interrupted, gently laying a hand on his metal arm. "It's okay, I understood what you meant."
Though he didn't breathe out, he visibly sighed in relief.
"So what exactly happened in Hollyhead then?" she asked.
Hawkeye and the Colonel had figured out this method worked out quite well when getting a mission report whenever he sent the Elrics out on another expedition. Like the spilt interrogations of criminals to make sure that their stories overlapped, the Lieutenant and the Colonel played the same trick on the Elric brothers.
They had figured out early on that Edward didn't hesitate to lie to the Colonel if he thought he had messed up in some way, or he would purposely leave out the parts about the collateral damage just to spare himself from another lecture by the Colonel. That has led to many arguments between the Colonel and herself, Hawkeye always pushing the idea that the Colonel was too harsh with Ed and that it was okay if he messed up on a mission sometimes. After all, he was only a kid. While she knew the Colonel wanted to agree, he was also weary about it, saying he didn't want to give Ed too much leeway because knowing Ed, he would push whatever freedom he was given as far as he possibly could.
As a result, they had decided to compromise. To make sure that Ed was telling the truth, the Colonel would have Ed debrief him on the mission and Hawkeye would talk to Al while his brother was in the office with the Colonel. Al was more likely to tell the truth about a mission than his older brother was, so if they caught any discrepancies between the two brothers' stories, the Colonel and Hawkeye would make note of them and follow them up without the brothers ever knowing they did. They only ever brought it back up when there were major repercussions that couldn't be ignored.
At her request, Al began the relaying of the details of the mission to her: the death of the two girls that had been contributed to a killer alchemist in Hollyhead had been a fluke. It was an alchemist who had collapsed the barn on the girls, but it was an accident, not a merciless killing. A younger boy who was interested in alchemy had been the one to transmute the wood of the barn, but his transmutation circle was flawed and had caused the entire structure to collapse, killing the two girls inside. At the presence of Ed and Al in town, Ed with his State Certification and rank as Major and Al with his imposing figure, the boy had been spooked into confessing the sin he had tried to cover up. They'd left him to be dealt with by the town judiciary.
Al finished up with how the mission had only served to piss Edward off because they had wasted three days traveling to and from the town, booking a hotel only to realize their fearsome criminal had been some dumb kid. They had been told the police had investigated before the military had been notified, but their lack of alchemical knowledge had led them to believe the worse and so they panicked.
The room was silent for a moment before Breda interjected. "Well at least now the two of you won't be working over the holiday."
Alphonse just shrugged at the idea.
"What? You don't have any plans for the Winter Solstice?"
"Not really, Brother and I were planning on being in Hollyhead working on the case during that time."
"Well if you don't have any plans then you should—"
But Breda was interrupted mid-sentence by a loud crash from inside the Colonel's office. They all jumped up in shock, Alphonse doing so very noisily beside her.
"No, what do you mean you don't have a new lead for me?" came the shout immediately after from inside.
The Lieutenant heard Al put his face in his hands with an impressive sign and a mutter of "Brother" under his breath.
The clamor continued.
"No, I'm not going back to Resembool for the Solstice just because you're giving me time off, I can't even believe you would suggest such a thing! I have a ton of important research to do if you're not going to fucking give me a new lead!"
Hawkeye noticed Al visible perk up at the mention of Resembool, but his shoulders immediately slumped again when Ed rejected the idea. Her heart went out to him. They were just children, they deserved to go home for the Winter Solstice.
Shoving open the door with his automail arm, Ed stalked back out into the main office with a scowl.
"Come on, Al, we're leaving."
"Really?" Al said, his unchanging appearance doing nothing to mask the slight thread of hope that ran clear as the summer skies through his voice as the smallest hope that Ed might have meant they were leaving the city to head home to Resembool for the holiday.
"Yeah, there's plenty of books at the library to read since the useless Colonel has no new leads."
Slowly, Al stood and followed Ed to the door. "Right behind you, Brother."
"Now hold on a second," Havoc started, "If you boys aren't doing anything for the holiday, you two should come to the party?"
"There's a party?" Alphonse asked the same time as Ed asked, "What do you mean party? "
"Each year we get together here in the office, just the six of us, and celebrate the Solstice," the Second Lieutenant informed them. "You two should come."
"What about your families? Don't you want to see them over the holiday?" Al inquired.
"What about yours?" Havoc pointed out.
Ed crossed his arms and turned away in a pout, clearly not wanting to discuss the matter any further and obviously ignoring the hopeful look Al gave him at the implication of seeing the Rockbells for the Solstice.
"Listen, you two just come by at 6:00 that evening and join the party, we'll have food and music and plenty of alcohol—"
"Havoc, they're kids," Breda interjected.
"Fine, not plenty of alcohol. Well, there will still be drinks, but not for you two. Just come by, okay?"
"We'll see," Ed waved him off nonchalantly, but Hawkeye could see it written all over his face that they'd be there. She knew he would come, pretend to hate every second of it, but secretly enjoy the added company for the night.
The pair of alchemists stalked towards the door, surely heading to the station in front of headquarters to catch the next bus to the library.
"Oh, and Chief? One last thing."
"Yeah?"
"Take this and keep warm."
"I'm not going to—" but upon reflex Ed caught the green scarf that was chucked at him by the Second Lieutenant.
"Six o'clock, don't be late!"
"Yeah, yeah," Ed called.
When the Second Lieutenant had turned his back, Ed silently looped the green scarf around the handle of the door and headed out with his little brother behind him.
.oO0Oo.
Somewhere outside headquarters, a bell tower chimed eleven times that evening. Hawkeye didn't even realize she'd been counting until she looked up from her work, realizing exactly how late it was.
The four officers had gone home for the evening, Fuery and Havoc leaving their desks covered in an array of unfinished papers. Falman's desk was tidier, everything left in somewhat neat stacks, but there were still several books and other resources strewn across the desk. Only Breda's desk was perfectly organized.
Hawkeye gathered her stuff to head home. There was a week until the Solstice and she still needed to finish the final details on her gift for Falman.
Slipping on her heavy, black coat and making sure her keys were in her pocket, Hawkeye headed over the to the door, taking her coffee mug to wash it for the morning. While the water was running, she heard the creak of the Colonel's private office door open and she jumped around to face the invader.
In the doorway stood Mustang, holding a coffee mug of his own.
"Guess we had the same idea," he chuckled, holding up his coffee mug and making his way to join her by the sink.
"I didn't realize you were still here," she replied.
"Just finishing up some last-minute work before tomorrow."
"I didn't know you were capable of that."
"I'm insulted, " he replied, fake wounded by her jibe.
They stood there silently, side by side washing their respective mugs out in the sink. They didn't need to say anything to each other, silences were never awkward between them.
Hawkeye remembered the first Winter Solstice they had spent together. It was during one of the years he was apprenticing for her father, before either of them knew the tragedies the world had in store for them, back when they were still young and hopeful.
It had snowed that winter, a whole two feet. She remembered playing in it, Roy initiating a snowball fight between them and later Riza teaching him how to ice skate on the frozen lake behind the estate. It was the best Winter Solstice Hawkeye remembered, even if they didn't eat turkey and cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes like tradition. Instead, sitting in front of the fire, eating warm soup and exchanging gifts with Mustang had been enough. It didn't matter that he was her father's apprentice or that she was the alchemist's daughter.
It was the first Solstice she had spent truly happy, sitting in the company of another instead of missing a mother that was long dead or wishing her father would take a break on his research for just a moment so they could enjoy the day together.
Instead, the unconventional holiday with the apprentice had been so much better than anything she had imagined.
She turned off the tap, taking Mustang's mug from him and hanging both on the rack to dry. "What you did for those boys was really nice of you."
Mustang shrugged on his coat, following Hawkeye to the door. "I have no idea what you're referring to."
"You sending those boys on a mission that you knew would amount to an easy end, knowing it would allow for time off over the holiday so they could go home to celebrate with their family."
He raised an eyebrow at her before flicking off the light. "Is that what you think?"
"I do," but Hawkeye knew it wasn't worth persisting. It had always been clear to everyone in the office that Mustang cared for the Elric brothers more than he let on. It was obvious in the missions he sent them on and the way he always followed up behind them to make sure they got there safely. He didn't need to spell it out for her that he'd given them a fluke mission for that reason.
He simply nodded at the accusation.
"Besides," he started, heavy military books clicking hollowly against the empty hallway they walked down, "it's not like they're going to take my advice and go home anyway."
It's the thought that counts, she wanted to say, but didn't.
"Well, Havoc invited them to the Solstice party so at least they'll be with us."
He pondered the thought and then nodded. "Good," he said, pushing the heavy front door of headquarters open for her. "I guess this is where we part ways, I'll see you tomorrow, Lieutenant."
"Goodnight, Colonel," she said and turned away, her boots crunching in the white snow as she made her way home.
.oO0Oo.
As she stepped in the doorway, Riza Hawkeye was greeted by the happy yapping of Black Hayate. The Shiba Inu was too well trained and knew better than to jump up on Hawkeye at her arrival, but the dog was still more than happy to see she was home.
Hawkeye reached down and scratched the hyper dog below the ear, just as happy to see him as he was to see her.
The house was toasty as she stepped all the way in and pulled the front door shut. She hung her coat on the rack by the door and then proceeded into the kitchen to make herself a cup of jasmine tea. While the kettle was on, she stepped into the living room planning to light the fireplace when she noticed her yarn was strewn all across the rug.
"Hayate, what is this?" she questioned the dog with a stern edge to her voice.
The ball of silver was tangled up across the sofa and the black has fallen off the couch entirely and was spread across the length of the room. The other three balls that she had in her basket were luckily still there, though it looked like the dog has tried his best to unravel and play with those too.
Fortunately, the black sweater she has spent her evenings knitting was still intact beside the basket as if Black Hayate was smart enough to understand he would experience the full force of Hawkeye's wrath if he so much as dared to mess with it.
The sweater was going to be a gift for Falman. He had complained back at the beginning of the month about the lack of warm clothes he had and that it was always so hard to find a nice sweater in his size as he was quite tall and thin and most long-sleeved items were not made for arms as long as his. Since his complaint, she had been working on a sweater to give him at the Solstice party.
She had gifts for all her co-workers. She'd purchased a particular vintage wine from a Xingese trader that Havoc loved but could never find and was making a batch of gingerbread cookies for Fuery amongst other things.
But as she gathered up the yarn that was spread across her living room, she realized there was still someone— or rather two someones— that she was missing gifts for. She had a present for Falman and Havoc, a gift for Breda and Mustang and Fuery, but she didn't have anything for Edward and Alphonse.
She had a week to find something to give them. Hawkeye was quite certain on what to give to Ed for Solstice, but Al was harder. The boy didn't eat so baking him anything out. He didn't get cold or wear clothes either, so knitting him anything was also not an option. What was there to get a boy that needed comfort, but couldn't feel the winter warmth?
Placing the last of the balls of yarn in the basket, she was struck with an idea. She would be cutting it close on time, but she was certain if she pulled a couple of late-nighters she could get it done in time to give him for the Winter Solstice.
.oO0Oo.
By the time seven in the evening rolled around on the 21st, the extended office party invitation to the Elric brothers was completely forgotten about by most.
Most being everyone except for Hawkeye.
The party by now was in full swing, with an upbeat jazz tune blasting from the phonograph in the corner and a general happy air of lightheartedness surrounding them. It wasn't often that they invited others to this little Solstice gathering of theirs. In fact, the only other person who has ever been invited was Lieutenant Colonel Hughes, who always politely declined, opting to be with his wife and daughter for the holiday instead, though it was always obvious they were invited by extension. They didn't blame him, of course, for choosing to spend his Solstice the traditional way most people did, with the lighting of the Winter Lantern and staying up to see the sunrise with a big meal and gifts. To any outsider their Solstice party of six co-workers in a military officer would have been a sad spectacle, but not to them. This was their everything. They were the people without other places to be or others to be with during the holiday, but they had each other, so that was how they spent their time off.
Sometime around an hour ago the snow had started to come down. The flurries would have looked beautiful if they had the pale moonlight illuminating them, but the heavy clouds had obscured the sky, vanishing the moon and stars from sight.
It was a pity too, the full moon on the longest night of the year was considered good luck, but there would be no witness to it tonight as it couldn't be seen.
Hawkeye had brought all her gifts in a basket she usually kept for blankets at home. Each parcel was wrapped in golden paper and tied up with a bow with its recipient's name scrawled across the front in neat, little letters. It wasn't necessary that they gave each other gifts, their gratefulness for each other was left unspoken, but Hawkeye always made it tradition to bring presents for them anyway.
Never once in the past four years had she ever heard the Fullmetal Alchemist enter the office so discreetly. In fact, she almost didn't hear him and his brother enter at all. There wasn't the telltale bang of the crashing door or the sound of all Ed's miraculous fury, just the two boys entering the room peacefully.
"Sorry we're late!" Alphonse announced, ducking under the doorway as he entered behind Edward.
"Glad to see you can make it," Havoc called back to him, a bite of cookie in his mouth.
"You look awfully fancy, Fullmetal," Mustang said with a raised eyebrow which in turn causes Ed to scowl with an angry blush.
"Shut up, Bastard! It's not like I'm used to seeing you out of uniform either you know."
"You never wore the uniform in the first place," Breda chimed in which caused Mustang to smirk.
Edward was dressed still in black pants, but this time instead of the tight leather pair that he usually sported, he was wearing a nicely ironed pair of black slacks, no doubt the handiwork of Al. He'd changed his black tank and jacket for a nicer, white, button-down shirt and his platform shoes for a dark brown set of dress shoes. His signature braid was still in place, though it looked considerably neater than it always looked when he rushed to the office straight from finishing up his report on the train.
Everyone in the office that night was out of uniform, in streetwear or more casual clothing. There was no telling how odd Edward must have found the entire sight.
He quickly drifted over to the table where the food was set out and made himself a plate piled high. At one of the desks in the corner, everything that once sat atop it was removed and Mustang, Fuery, Havoc, and Alphonse sat gathered around setting up a game of poker.
"I'm shocked you decided to join us," Breda said, standing between Ed and Hawkeye. "You made it sound like you weren't going to come."
"Yeah, well Al wanted to come and it's not like we had any other plans," and he tossed back the final bite of his sandwich slice in his mouth. "And I also figured it was still a way to celebrate the holiday even though we don't have any gifts or lanterns to light."
Hawkeye set a hand on his shoulder, "well I'm glad you two could be here." And the smile he gave back to her was one of the most genuine ones she'd ever seen him give.
The smile didn't leave his face the entire evening, even as the night grew later and later. The three of them stood there talking for a while, Edward ever so often looking over to where his brother sat with the others and giving a soft smile Hawkeye didn't think he noticed he was doing. At some point, someone had started up a game of darts and everyone cheered every time someone hit the inner ring of the board. Edward was obviously the worst shot out of anyone involved in the game, but they congratulated him just as much as they did Hawkeye who won every round she played. They even overlooked the one dark of his which missed the target entirely and fell into the plant below the window, a near miss of shattering one of the glass panes.
He didn't stop smiling even through Mustang's half-drunken rant about how much he hated rainy days.
By the time three in the morning rolled around, Ed was slumped against the couch, his eyes half open.
"If you're going to fall asleep, let me at least find you something to cover up with or a pillow. I know you can't be comfortable like that," Hawkeye said, pushing his bangs out of his eyes.
"I'm not going to fall asleep," he mumbled with a yawn. "You're supposed to stay up all night for Solstice anyway"
The noise in the office had dulled to a gentle hum, only the sounds of quiet conversations to be heard. The winter winds stormed outside, creating a whistling effect as they blew through the winding streets of Central city. From the candles in the window, there was a soft, gilded glow radiating that flickered across Ed's hair, making it look as if it was liquid gold.
"Oh, Ed," she whispered, shaking his shoulder lightly. "Before you fall asleep, I have a Solstice gift for you."
Groggily he sat up, wiping at his eyes with his left hand.
"You didn't have to do that," he looked away with a slightly guilty look, entangling his automail fingers and his flesh ones. "I didn't even get you anything."
Hawkeye had given all the other members of the team their gifts earlier before the Elric brothers had arrived at the party. It always made her happy to see their cheery smiles as she passed out the presents. They were far more important to her and much better than any teammates she could have ever imagined. She would have given them the moon if it would have shown them even a fraction of her appreciation of them.
The Elric brothers had shown up later than everyone else, and so their gifts were saved for later.
Hawkeye stood up, telling Ed she would be right back and grabbed the wrapped parcel from her desk. She sat back on the couch on Ed's left, the depression in the cushions causing him to fall against her shoulder.
He took the wrapped gift from her with the guilty hand of a child, like he was taking something from a parent that he wasn't sure he could actually have.
He gently tore off the gold wrapping paper, doing so more lightly than she would have expected from a brazen kid like Ed.
In the golden glow, he held up the knitted scarf and hat, inspecting them in the light. The scarf was a large, black knit with silver wool for the edges and the fringe at the end. The hat was the same, with the black knit and the silver lining.
"I love them," he whispered, almost so quiet she didn't hear him. "Thank you."
"You're welcome, it was the least I could have done."
"Did you make this?" he asked, running his fingers along the ends of the scarf. "It's so soft."
"Yes."
"How did you have time to make this? I didn't realize you knew how to knit."
"I made time. I wasn't going to just let you run around in the freezing weather without anything to keep you warm."
He smiled again, the same caramel smile that hadn't left his face the entire night.
"I don't know what to say. Thank you. I feel bad that I don't have anything for you in return."
"Don't worry about it, Edward," she said, pushing his bangs back once more. "Now get some sleep, we have a few hours until sunrise, I'll wake you then."
"Thanks," he repeated once more, laying down against the couch once she stood up.
Like a flickering light he was out it a moment, the handmade scarf and hat beside him, and Hawkeye draped her coat across him as a makeshift blanket.
.oO0Oo.
Hawkeye found Alphonse sitting alone at Havoc's desk, picking up cards and poker chips that had been scattered across the table.
"What are you doing over here by yourself?" Hawkeye asked, pulling up a chair beside him.
"Just cleaning things up," he shrugged, keeping his helmet turned away from her. "I figured it would be better to do so now than in the morning."
He was probably right there. Looking at the state of her colleagues, they would be no help in putting the office back in order when the sun finally rose, ending the longest night of the year.
They sat there for a while, Al sorting the cards into place and Hawkeye separating the chips into neat, little colored piles to be placed back in the box. She wanted to say something to him, to ask him if he was alright, but the question outright felt heavy on her tongue, like it was too direct for a setting like this one.
It was Alphonse who broke the silence instead.
"Did Brother fall asleep?"
"Yeah, he's over there on the couch," she said gesturing behind her to where the boy slept bundled in her coat.
He nodded and for a moment Hawkeye thought they would fall back into the rhythmic silence of waving cards and chips being slid across the wooden surface of the desk before Alphonse turned to her, facing her head on instead of looking down or off to the side.
"I just— I just wanted to thank you for letting us come to the party. I had a good time and I know Brother enjoyed himself as well, even if he won't say anything." It was strange how his voice could display his expression so well even though he lacked the face to express with . It was painfully obvious in his voice that he wore a smile that reflected the one his brother wore all night, the kind that was as clear as moonlight that was permanent because here he felt safe.
"You don't have to thank me, it was the least we could have done."
Al nodded.
"It's been so long since we've celebrated the holiday, not since— well—" and he gestured vaguely to his armor. "Brother's never wanted to. We didn't really do much for it after our mom died and then we stopped completely once the transmutation failed. I think he feels bad that I can't participate in many of the traditions, like the meal and such, but this was a nice way to spend the Solstice without having to dwell on the memory of things past, so thank you."
It was a sad thing for Hawkeye to hear, that these two children didn't celebrate because they were plagued by the memories of things that could have been, of things they had lost.
"I have a gift for you," she said, pulling out the last wrapped present she had to give out. This one was by far the most complicated thing she had ever knitted, but it was the only thing she could think to give to Al for Solstice. He didn't need gloves or scarves or sweets, but he was still a child, and Hawkeye was determined to give him something.
Alphonse took the gift from her, looking at the present with a childlike wonder that shouldn't have been possible without a face, but a look he still somehow managed. Like his brother, he too began to profusely apologize, saying that she didn't have to, that he felt bad that he didn't have anything in return to give her. Hawkeye smiled and put a hand on his armored shoulder, telling him it was alright, she never expected anything in return.
With shaky hands he flipped the gift over, ready to pull off the wrapping paper before suddenly stopping.
"I— I can't do this. I don't deserve a gift, I'm not even a part of the team," he said, putting his gauntlets over his downturned face. There was a slight tremor to his armor, one that came with such overwhelming emotions, and Hawkeye couldn't help but move her thumb in a circular stroke on his shoulder trying to calm him down and momentarily forgetting that he couldn't feel it.
"Alphonse, listen to me," her voice stern yet kind, "you're just as much a part of this team as anyone else in here right now. Do you understand me? It never mattered if you were a State Alchemist or an officer or anything, you're still just as much loved and a part of this team as anyone else, don't ever forget that."
"But I—" he began.
"No buts, Al. You've always been a part of this team and you deserve a gift on Solstice."
He nodded and wiped at his helmet though there was nothing there to wipe away.
"Alright."
First, he pulled off the bow, sticking it to the desk beside him before ripping off the gold wrapping paper in a single movement.
"Oh," he breathed so quietly when he saw what the paper contained that Hawkeye almost didn't hear him at all.
She had made the knitted cat out of the same silver and black wool she had used to make Ed's scarf and hat, adding white to the paws and underbelly and face. The stuffed cat was about the size of a regular cat, though its design was much simpler and more childlike with a red ribbon tied into a bow around its neck.
Hawkeye had never made anything like it, the toy cat was a whole new test of her knitting skills, one that she took on with ease. She's wanted to make something he could enjoy and the first thought that came to her mind was his love of cats. She was also highly aware of the fact that he could not sleep, on occasion he would join her or whoever stayed late that night when he was in town and needed to get away from the oppressing silence of being the only one awake. Though the cat was not another living, breathing creature, she still thought it could be a way to give him companionship during the long nights.
"I— I love it," Al stuttered, running his leather thumb over the button eyes. "Thank you," he said, the words sounding choked as if at that moment he was too overcome with gratitude.
"It took me a while to come up with something to give you, I hope this is okay."
"It's perfect. Thank you, I don't know what else to say."
He turned to face her, his soulfire eyes meeting her brown ones, and at this moment it was so painfully clear what a child he still was. He was just a little boy, forced to grow up too soon. Both Elric brothers were.
On an impulse, Hawkeye leaned forwards, raising her arms slightly in question to him. He understood what she was trying to say by the gestured and he leaned forward as well, falling into a somewhat awkward hug.
He released a whimpering sound so quiet that was almost inaudible, one that sounded almost like a scared and unsure child about to cry. Hawkeye wrapped her arms as best she could around his back. He's large and bulky, but she did the best she could to hold him in that moment. She noted how the slight tremble in his armor continued and she wanted to hold him there for longer and tell him everything will be alright, but she can't bring herself to do it, something catching in her throat.
It isn't until they pull away that she remembered once more that he cannot feel and it feels like someone has physically taken a sledgehammer to her heart.
He nodded again, the toy cat held gentle in his grasp.
"Lieutenant… um, thank you. For everything that you've done for us."
"Don't mention it, Alphonse," and her smile was enough to tell him that she meant it.
.oO0Oo.
Slowly the party wound down, coming to a close just as the sun began to rise. Most the party fell asleep, not even being able to stay up the entire night.
The sunset was one of the prettiest Solstice sunrises Hawkeye had seen in years. The sky faded slowly from deep velvet blue to violet to pink like gently blowing wildflowers in an enormous sky-bound field.
Hawkeye sat on the front steps of headquarters with Al and Ed, who she had woken up in time to see the new day. The snow on the grass reflected the beautiful colors of the sky like a mirror image.
Both Hawkeye and Ed were bundled up in their wool coats, Ed sporting his new gloves and hat as well, which brought a smile to Hawkeye's face which she masked with the mug of coffee she held up to her lips.
To her left was Al who held her knitted gift to his chest in childish delight.
At this moment it felt as if all time slowed, Hawkeye watching the sunrise with her two boys. They all found delight in the unconventional holiday celebration, but none of them minded.
In fact, all three of them remembered this year's Solstice as one of the best they could recall.