Peter Parker had faced down Green Goblin, tangled with the Kingpin, gone toe-to-toe with several universes' versions of Doctor Octopus, but it took so much out of him to say those words, he almost swayed on his feet. But now that he'd started, he had to find it in him to see it through.

"What happened between us…" he began. "What I did to you… it's the biggest regret of my life. And Christ, do I know regrets."

Her brow furrowed and her lip curled, but he pressed onward.

"I know how I let you down. How I… shut you out—"

"Yes," she cut in suddenly. "You did. How could you do that to me?"

He winced, gritting his teeth. She stood, pacing around the narrow New York kitchen.

"I always tried to make things easy for you, Peter. Helped when I could, never asked you to choose between me and saving the world. I knew how much you had on you, and how much that meant to all the people you protect." She paused, and turned back to him. "But I thought you wanted a life together."

He stiffened. "Of course I did."

"Really? And what was that supposed to look like?" She crossed her arms over her chest. "If you were going to just… disappear… when I needed you? If you were going to stop talking to me?"

Peter's chin tucked, ashamed at the memories— of every ignored call, every too-late night. His left hand jammed into his jacket pocket, while the other toyed with the one web shooter on his right wrist. It gave him a place to look other than her eyes.

Mary Jane was watching him, head cocked to one side. "Or did you just fall out of love with me?"

He jerked hard enough to fire off a web that took out the coffee maker. If it weren't for his enhanced reflexes, it would have smashed on the kitchen floor.

Gingerly he replaced it on the counter, turning so that she couldn't see his expression. Jesus Christ, was that what she thought? "Mary Jane…"

"Is that it?" There was no accusation in her voice, no ire. As if she just wanted to know the truth, even if it hurt her.

"No. Of course not." He spun back, lips parted, breathless. "I still love you, MJ. I never stopped."

She did not seem reassured; in fact, a flicker of new pain crossed her face. "That actually makes it worse somehow."

He gaped. "How?"

"I guess loving me wasn't enough."

The guilt was a vice grip on his chest. He wanted to deny it, argue it— anything but let her believe that all this was because she hadn't been worth it to him. It had been his lacking, not hers. But what could he say? When the truth was that, no matter the reason… it wasn't enough.

"God," he breathed, shaking his head. "You must hate me."

"Hate you?" A laugh, short and bitter, broke out of her. "None of this happened because I stopped loving you, Peter. It would have been a lot easier if I had."

Everything inside him hitched at that. He'd never admitted it to himself, but a part of him was certain that she had stopped, that he'd killed what she'd felt for him with distance, silence, and unavailability. But if there was still something left of it, wasn't there something left to build on? Didn't that mean he had a hope?

He seized onto that thought with desperate intensity. "It was never easy. MJ, you don't know— how I've missed you. Every day… just had a gaping hole. It never got easier. I got used to it… but it was never okay."

Her gaze cast down, and he knew she was not unaffected. He dared to move in a little closer. "Did you miss me?"

She didn't look back. "I loved you since I was twenty years old. I planned to spend the rest of my life with you. I wanted you to be…"

She trailed off, but he knew well enough to finish it for her. "The father of your children."

She didn't deny it. "I miss you every day."

Miss, she said, not missed. He seized that like a lifeline to a drowning man. "It doesn't have to be this way."

"Peter…"

"If we both want to fix things, shouldn't we try? If we've both been unhappy, don't we owe that to ourselves?"

She pushed back a handful of her hair. "Peter, none of this matters."

He stared at her, a shock of ice coursing through his veins.

She spread her hands. "Even if we could work through the rest of it… I wanted a family. I still do. But if you don't… then it doesn't matter how much I miss you. It just won't work."

Peter steeled himself, then tossed out his last best reason. "You don't understand— Mary Jane— I think I'm ready."

She stared at him hard enough to bore holes. "What?"

He knew he had to lay everything he had out on the table. "When you first brought up kids, I was so scared. By the whole idea. Of being a parent while also being Spider-Man, while also being… me. Of having any more on me than I already had. I panicked."

"That's clear."

"But it wasn't that I didn't— it wasn't that I don't want—" He blew out, then tried again. "I'm not scared anymore. No— I am scared. It's not easy in the best of cases… for people who aren't Spider-Man. But I want everything with you, MJ. Life, home, a future… and kids." He kneeled in front of her, taking her hand in his. "And I can't be a coward anymore."

She stared at him a long time, then shook her head, quickly, roughly. "So… that's it? You've figured things out, and you want to be together again?"

"Something happened— it made me realize—"

She pushed back from the table and scurried across the kitchen. "There were lawyers, Peter! We signed papers and divided up property— we haven't even seen each other in over a year!"

He reached out to her, but she was a flurry of motion.

"You think you can just come in here, and— and say all the things I wanted to hear you say years ago? And that's going to just… fix everything?"

"No. No." He approached slowly, holding out his hands. "I know how badly I screwed everything up. I know how long it will take to make it up to you. But I love you, Mary Jane. So if you'll give me the chance… I want to make it up to you. I want to be a dad. Your kids' dad."

She turned her eyes up to him— filling with tears, and, perhaps, with hope. "Do you really?"

"I do." Ruefully he smiled. "Might as well, right? Since these days I've got the body for it."

The laugh burst out of her, as if it were the last thing in the world she'd expected. "Peter… what happened to you?"

He stood and sat across the table from her. Fingertips almost touching hers, he told her the whole story— Miles, the multiverse, all of it.