Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin. Please don't hurt me.

"Gwen! Just the woman I wanted to see. I have a present for you." Beaming like the sun despite the fact that he was smoking slightly, what on earth had he even been doing, Merlin made a complicated grabbing gesture with his hands and produced an item from thin air.

Gwen gaped. There was so much going on here that she didn't actually know where to begin. But she'd always been more concerned about her friends' wellbeing than gifts for herself, so she blurted out, "You're covered in dust, and I think that some of your hair has burned off. What happened?"

"Morgana and I won the war with Amata," Merlin explained. He brandished his present at her again, clearly hoping she'd take it off his hands.

"We aren't at war with Amata," Gwen pointed out.

"I know. I just said that."

"No, I mean that we weren't at war with Amata at all! Did you start a war with Amata, Merlin?"

"They started a war with me," he sniffed. "Or, well, with Camelot, technically. Sarrum obviously didn't like it when Arthur overturned the ban last week, so he sent a messenger declaring war. The fellow should arrive tomorrow or the day after, I think. Morgana saw it in a vision."

"Okay," said Gwen. "I suppose that makes sense. But how does this result in you waving a shiny gold crown in my face?"

Merlin looked befuddled. "Well, Morgana and I conquered Amata this afternoon, and I said, 'You know, we should give the crown to Gwen so all those stupid courtiers stop making their stupid peasant comments.' Right, Morgana?"

"Right," the witch laughed. Gwen had almost forgotten she was in the room, she'd been so quiet. The maid-turned-queen sourly reflected that the quiet was probably on purpose. She'd come in here knowing full well that Merlin would do a terrible job of explaining this ridiculous situation and had let him do it just because she wanted to laugh at them.

Gwen glared at her. Morgana just smiled wider.

"So now you're the queen of Amata," Merlin concluded He practically shoved the ugly, gaudy crown into his friend's hands. "Congratulations!"

"But—but what am I supposed to do with it?"

"People usually wear them," Merlin supplied reasonably.

"I know that! But—Merlin—I don't think I can accept this."

Merlin's befuddlement was back. "Why not?"

Gwen's mouth opened and closed several times without any sound escaping. Finally, she managed, "I have enough on my plate already just as the Queen of Camelot!" (It's still weird to think that she's the Queen of Camelot.) "Not that this wasn't very, er, sweet of you, and I appreciate the thought, but I don't think it would be very feasible for me to have two kingdoms."

"Oh." Merlin looked so disappointed that Gwen almost regretted her decision. Almost.

She handed the crown back to him. "Thank you, though. I'm… certain you'll find a suitable monarch."

Merlin's brow furrowed for several moments before he brightened once more. "You're absolutely right, Gwen. I think I know just the man for the job."

"I found him!" Morgana shouted, looking far too amused for his liking.

Merlin darted around the corner, a grin on his face and—was that a crown in his hands? "Hello, Elyan! I have a present for you."