A/N: this is rough as hell but I did as much editing as I could. I was trying to get it done before the ball dropped but as you can see that didn't happen. So, Happy New Year everyone and I hope your 2019 goes well. I based this one shot on this prompt I found on Pinterest. "All I know is that I can't stop thinking about you. I don't know if it's love, or if it's obsession, but I'm ready to find out." Hope you like it.

Chill bumps rose to cover Bella's skin, scalp prickling as she shivered beneath her warm coat. It wasn't the cold of the wintry night that caused it, nor the soft flakes of snow landing in her hair and on her cheeks. It was his eyes on her for what felt the millionth time. He'd been watching her all night. Jasper.

Bella Swan had met the Cullens a year ago after moving to cold, rainy Forks, Washington to live with her dad after her mom remarried. When she first noticed them, she discerned an aloofness that no one—let alone a girl like her—would ever get passed. Yet here she was, on the terrace of the Broadway Lounge in the city of New York surrounded by that same family waiting for the magical hour when the ball would drop and another year would begin.

If you'd told her she would practically be a member of their family last year, she would have laughed in your face. She'd watched them from afar like everyone else, wondered at their ethereal beauty and why it was they seemed to avoid everyone as much as everyone avoided them. Then one day, it happened. It was inevitable; she was clumsy as hell.

On her way from Biology to Gym, she tripped. It wouldn't be the first or last time, but it was the first experience she'd had at not finding herself sprawled on the floor. No, instead strong arms were wrapped around her waist and she was pressed against an unnaturally cold body breathing in the smell of pine and leather. His scent was so deliciously woodsy and it had taken her a moment to realize he was talking.

Out of all the adopted siblings, Jasper Hale always seemed the most untouchable, but there he was arms wrapped around her, a soft smile lifting the corners of his lips, concern in his honey-hued eyes. "Are you ok, Miss Swan" he'd asked, his words laced with a soft southern twang and the nuance of some bygone era where men never casually addressed someone to whom they hadn't yet been introduced.

Bella made a complete fool of herself, unable to do more than blink and stammer. He'd been so indulgent. He helped her gather her fallen books and even carried them for her as he walked her to her next class. A friendship began, one that would allow Bella to learn the true reason they all seemed to make those around them uneasy.

She noticed little things. How they didn't eat, always saying they'd eaten earlier. All of them possessed pale, ice cold skin and rich golden eyes—which always darkened as the days progressed until they became mysteriously gold again. They never appeared tired, and they always seemed as if they went solely through the motions of humanity.

Then Jake told her the stories, the legends of his people, of the Cold Ones. It was an attempt to warn her away from the family she'd become so close to, his dad's desire not Jake's, but it helped Bella put two and two together. After some thorough research, she confronted the family. They couldn't deny the truth and that day she learned that all the folklore was true. Vampires existed.

They'd expected her to run screaming in terror, but it only endeared them to her more. That they would entrust her with so great a secret, held that much faith in her. It was also the fact she'd already fallen hard and fast for the blond-haired southerner, though at the time she had been too afraid to admit it. Imagine her sheer embarrassment when she learned he happened to be an Empath that could feel her emotions. How long had he known how she felt, how long had he ignored it for the sake of his family? It wasn't as if he could tell her straight out he was able to sense her love for him without giving their secret away.

Then he'd told her of his past and why he wouldn't make a suitable boyfriend. He'd broken her heart, in more ways than one. Alice gave her hope. She'd approached Bella, despite the warnings not to do so from Edward. Alice was a seer, and the future for Bella and Jasper was clear. They would be together, someday. The way it transpired always occurred in various ways, ever-changing because of the decisions either of them made. Yet no matter what, they would be together.

However, as the months flew by, Bella's hope faltered. Alice's visions were subjective, she'd said so herself. Was what she'd seen really going to happen? Bella tried to be patient knowing his own self-loathing stopped Jasper from being with her and not his lack of feelings for her. She'd tried tirelessly to show him that his past didn't matter to her, that what mattered was the man he was now. He was a good man. Kind, gentle, loyal, willing to do what was necessary to protect those he loved, even if it meant sacrificing a little bit more of his humanity.

She loved him for that and so much more. If only he would see that they were meant for one another. If only.

Jasper was watching her again. He couldn't seem to help himself, it was like an obsession. He often wondered if that was all he really felt for her, always coming to the conclusion that it must be something deeper if he was willing to put himself through hell to keep her safe. He couldn't get over how lovely she looked tonight. He'd wondered what Rose and Alice were up to when they'd dragged Bella out of the hotel suite and into the city. A little black dress accentuated all her curves, her mahogany locks flowed over her shoulders in waves like a river of silk, her makeup was subtle, only enough to emphasize her natural beauty.

Bella Swan made it very difficult to keep his promise that he wouldn't give in to his feelings for her and hers for him. He was dangerous, a monster, and not fit for a wonderful person like her. She was sweet, delicate, and he was in awe of the way she'd accepted them into her heart and her life with no further thought to what they were than one might give a rainy day in Forks.

He refused to mar that acceptance, but she was making it harder with each passing day. He appreciated what she was doing, trying to show him what he had been wasn't what he now was and his past didn't matter, but she needed to consider how much blood he'd spilled, to recognize how many innocents died because of him. He couldn't ever forget. His scars and bloodstained hands would never let him.

"Oh for the love, would you stop brooding and staring her down; go over there and talk to her, Jazz."

The black-haired pixie nuisance at his side gave his arm a little shove but he wouldn't yield. "You remember why, Alice."

A sigh left her lips, her eyes rolling virtually into the back of her head. "I've told you before dear brother, no matter how hard you try, it's inevitable. It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow, it may not even be this year but you and Bella are happening whether or not you like it. If there's one thing I can be sure of, I can be sure of that.

"You know my visions are wonky with her, perhaps due to the gift Edward supposes she has, yet this one has never wavered. The means in which it happens is always different, but the outcome always the same. I understand it's hard to believe, but even men with pasts such as yours deserve happiness at some point. Stop being such a stubborn jackass and go embrace it. Don't make her wait forever."

"She's human, Alice. One day she'll tire of waiting and she'll move on. It's for the best."

He stalked off, hoping to cut her off, but his acute hearing allowed him to catch her final words. "She'll grow old waiting for you, Jazz. Do you want that? For her to die never having the love she so deserves? Will you be able to live with yourself then?"

No, no, he wouldn't. But which was the lesser evil? Burdening her with himself? Or burdening her with a life without true love. She would move on, find a different kind of love and get married, have babies; a human existence. He would never be able to give her that. All he would provide was an eternity wondering if the monster would rear its ugly head once more and consume her.

Bella watched the crowds below. It was times like this she wished she was a vampire too. To catch the goings on around her without having to strain would be amazing. She could even detect the musical acts further down the square without having to watch one of the many TVs set up around the enclosure. The snow had stopped falling, leaving a thin blanket on the empty rooftops around them. It gave the city an almost fairytale quality.

She felt him before she heard him, how did a man his size move so silently? "So little sis, what is your New Year's resolution? I've been asking everyone. It's your turn."

She turned to face the giant of a man grinning down at her. Emmett Cullen intimidated most of those around him. He wasn't just tall, he possessed huge muscles as well, causing people to give him a wide berth. They hadn't given themselves the chance to get to know him that was all. Underneath all that hugeness was a gentle man with a wicked sense of humor and a zest for life that Bella admired. He was also so in love with Rosalie Hale it wasn't even funny. She'd been surprised the first time she'd learned the two were a couple. They seemed so opposite of each other.

Rose was cold and aloof while Emmett got along with everyone. After learning her story though, Bella could understand Rose's reluctance to allow people in. How did one learn to trust those around them with their trust had been destroyed in such a violent manner? When their entire life shifted in moments. All the Cullens had tragic backstories, but Rose was the one Bella hurt for the most—besides Jasper and Alice.

"I'm sure you can guess mine, Em. What do you think it'll take to get him to stop being such a stubborn idiot?"

"I'd say give him time, but you've given him plenty. I don't know, Hells Bells, maybe it's time for you to stop giving him space and force him to accept the inevitable. We all know what Alice saw. Even after warning her to keep her mouth shut, which was an asshole move, by the way, Edward wasn't able to keep his own zipped. You know how much he loves to gossip. I swear he should have been born a woman…"

Bella sensed a tangent about his brother was imminent and needed to head Em off before he got going. Her hand probably felt only a gnat to him, but placing it on his arm still got his attention. "You were saying, about Jasper?"

If he could, she didn't doubt the big man's cheeks would have turned rosy with a blush right then. "Right, sorry, anyway Jazz will not change a damn thing by avoiding you, but he's Jazz. He has so much guilt, hurt, and anger inside; at himself, at Maria, he can't seem to let it go.

"But I gotta tell you, I've never seen him happier than when he gets to see you. Every morning when we're on our way to school he grows more animated. Every afternoon he knows you're coming over, his eyes light up and he makes sure he combs hair and puts on clean clothes. I've never seen a man more smitten and more stubborn. It's the 21st-century girlfriend. Women can make the first move these days, and it may just shock him into action. Wouldn't hurt to try. Maybe set yourself up so you two are paired at midnight. Kiss him full on the lips and see what he does."

Bella nodded, her eyes scanning the crowd once more as thoughts whirled inside her head. Could she do it? Could she make the first move? A New Year's kiss was traditional. Surely he wouldn't embarrass her by refusing. Maybe Em was right and once their lips touched Jasper would realize what an ass he had been and embrace their future. It was worth a try, right? Or maybe she should try making him jealous as Rose had suggested. She could do that.

Jasper was watching her again, his eyes drawn to the arch of her neck as she threw her head back and laughed at what the human male had said. He hadn't found it funny, but whatever. He could feel her emotions. She was nervous, and he didn't understand why. Did that child pretending to be a man make her feel that way? Was he scaring her? Maybe Jasper should go over there and check on her.

No, he would just wait and see. He wouldn't get in the way if this was what she wanted. Maybe the nerves were because she was unused to the male attention though after the way all the boys in school had fallen all over themselves he had no clue why she wouldn't be used to it. She deserved attention as beautiful a person inside and out as she was.

That didn't stop the anger though. He was so fucking angry. Where was Edward, he wanted to ask his brother to listen to that fucker's thoughts. So much lust was pouring off him, Jasper wondered how much of his attention was genuine interest. Did he just want to get into Bella's panties? Fuck, it was all so frustrating! The prick's pheromones scented the air like too much cologne overpowering all other smells around Jasper, or was he just focused more on the guy because he was flirting with Bella? Either way, he wanted to rip the boy limb from limb.

Carding a hand through his hair, Jasper forced himself to remember that this was what he wanted. For her to move on, to find a nice, normal human. Still, he yearned for it to be him at her side, him to be the one making her laugh like that, to put the joy on her face and the sparkle in her eyes.

A hand clamped down on his shoulder, startling him. It was rare that he was surprised and it took all he had not to tear the offending limb off of the perpetrator. He turned his head, gazing into the ever full of understanding golden eyes of their patriarch. "Son, do you need to take a break? It would be bad if you ended up killing that young man."

Jasper shook his head, forcing himself to calm. Sometimes he wished he could use his gift on himself. "No Carlisle, I promise. If it gets to be too much though, I'll leave for the good of the family."

Blond nearly the color of his own barely moved as Carlisle nodded his head, it always amused Jasper that the man used so much gel. "I appreciate your concern for us my boy, but I'm more concerned about what it would do to you. Not the danger it might put us in. Take a break if you need it, or come find Esme or me."

With that, the older man walked away and Jasper returned to watching Bella. He watched her until close to midnight, wishing he could slough off the guilt and anger that were his constant companions. That he could begin anew with the coming of the new year. He was surprised, but relieved when the boy walked away moments before the ball was to begin its descent. Now Bella was standing there all on her own, no one to bring in 2006 with. He watched the light fade from her eyes. He couldn't have that. The least he could do was share this moment with her, allow her to at least kiss his cheek. What was one kiss on the cheek? He could endure having only that for the rest of eternity.

She made no move to acknowledge him as he sidled up next to her. "Mind if I partner up with you? We both seem to have been forgotten."

Was it just his imagination, or did her breath catch? Chocolate brown eyes met his own, a soft smile playing about her perfect pink lips. "No, I don't mind."

Just then, the countdown began. Slim, warm fingers interlaced with his own as she chanted the numbers like everyone else.

Ten

Nine

Eight

Seven

Six

Five

Four

Three

Two

One

As the shouts of "Happy New Year" echoed all around him, Jasper leaned down, his cheek turned toward her, but as her warm strawberry scent filled his nostrils, he lost all sense and moved his lips to intercept her own. Just before they touched, he said, "I think maybe a proper kiss is luckier for the new year, don't you?"

Cold hands cupped heated cheeks, his head tilted, hard lips slanting over soft, and it was heaven. Pure heaven. Ever aware of just how delicate her human bones were, Jasper tilted her head with the softest of pressures, allowing him to deepen the kiss. Why had he kept himself from this pleasure, how could he be so stupid, there was nothing like it on earth. It was as if a ray of sunlight was dancing across his skin, warming everything it touched. Warming him from the outside in. Gone were all his doubts, his insecurities, his troubled thoughts. There was only him, Bella, and this moment.

He almost forgot she had to breathe until she pulled back, eyes glazed, lips slightly bruised, and a huge smile on her face. "I've been waiting forever for you to do that Jasper Hale. Are you done being so stubborn?"

Honey blond strands fell into his eyes as he nodded vigorously "Yes, ma'am, I believe I am. All I know, is that I can't stop thinking about you. I don't know if it's love, or if it's obsession, but I'm ready to find out. If you'll have me."

"Oh Jasper, don't you know? I'll have you for eternity and beyond." Her arms wound around his neck, toes pushing her up as high as she could go as her lips found his once more. His arms snaked around her, lifting her as he kissed her again, and again. What kind of fool would deny himself such happiness, other than him?

It wasn't until Emmett's booming voice brought them to their senses that they remembered they were on a rooftop full of people, most of them strangers. "It's about damn time, Jazz!"

Their foreheads touched, breaths mingling in the cold night air as laughter echoed all around them. Jasper could not keep the grin from his mouth, Bella's smile matching his own as she said, "he's right you know, it is about damn time."