Prologue

I was going to tell him. Honest, I was. It was all perfectly planned in my mind. On the last day of high school, I was going to confess.

But the moment I was behind him, staring at the back of his head, I could feel my heart pounding in my head. My mind was in panic mode, telling me to grab his sleeve, to pull him back, to stop him before he walked out the gate. I managed to move my hand, but when I realized his shirt was between my fingertips, my mind went blank. My stupid brain wouldn't comply with the rest of my body.

He turned around, in what felt like slow motion, and his warm brown eyes met mine. I gasped. No words would come out.

My heart seemed like it was trying to fly away. I gripped my skirt with my other hand and I knew I couldn't do it. I knew I couldn't watch that small smile on his lips slip away. I couldn't watch as his demeanor towards me change and become someone I didn't know.

"Orihime, what is it?"

"I-I... uh... oh... g-good luck in college." I smiled but I knew it was shaky.

He looked concerned before easily giving me a soft smile.

"Thanks. Same to you."

The shirt slipped away, and I felt a bigger distance begin to form between us. I wouldn't be going to the same college as him. This was my final chance and it was over. My heart clenched, and it physically hurt to watch his back grow smaller and smaller.

I wanted to tell him. I wanted to do it, the most out of anything, but I wanted him to stay the same more. I didn't want to change us. I wouldn't be able to bear it if I couldn't be by his side anymore. I sighed and hung my head. I let out an unsteady breath as I fought back the tears that clung to my eyes. I walked slowly to my apartment prolonging the inevitable loneliness that waited for me.

In my room, I hugged my knees and felt the warm tears slide down my cheeks.

I didn't know it would be like this. I didn't know that after my conviction to keep my feelings to myself, that my heart would decide to break. It wasn't instantly or all at once. It went slowly. It disintegrated into pieces day by day.

My classes didn't start for another two weeks so all I had to occupy my mind was work. I looked around my room and noticed my running shoes.

Yeah, a run should clear my thoughts.

It was a warm day and I didn't have much of an appetite these days so when I took off towards the park, I should have known it wasn't such a great idea. I was running and the pavement beneath me began to feel harder. My legs felt like jelly. I should have stopped but the burning in my lungs distracted me from the pain seizing my heart, so I pushed on.

It was a blur when I tripped and rolled down the grassy hill off the jogging trail. I landed at the bottom by the river. My knee stung from the fall, but it was hard to concentrate on that while trying to regain control over my breathing.

After a moment I looked up to the sky and felt comfort from the heat of the sun. It wrapped around my skin, calming my thoughts. The fluffy white clouds drifted east, and they looked so beautiful as they floated effortlessly across the blue sky.

For that instant I desired to be those clouds, so I could wander far away from here. To see the world and not have to feel. But the heat brought me back to where I was. No, I don't want to be a cloud. I want to be the sun, so I could touch everything, everyone… him…

AN: This story may not be for everyone who has read my other stories. It will be paced slower and I have not decided whether it will be rated M. I'm just letting this story write itself. I still don't know exactly where I'll take it so if you still want to read great :). There will be a little drama, love for sure though, and hopefully some cute moments between Ichigo and Orihime.