(A/N: Hey people! I sure love writing Vegeta into dumb, silly situations, don't I? Guess that's my thing. Anyway, as you may know, in the manga, after the Namekians were sent to their new home and everyone was left to wonder about Goku, Vegeta just...chilled on Earth. I think the anime improved upon this by having Vegeta leave Earth to search for Goku, come back later, and kinda show him integrate into the group with the pink shirt shenanigans and such. I bought it well enough, but it felt kinda forced and I consider it a pretty big missed opportunity for Toriyama to just brush over him hanging around. Thanks I guess to MistareFusion on YouTube for getting me thinking about it. Here I go!)

"Hrrrgh…" Yamcha rubbed his eyes and sat up. "Not the most peaceful sleep I've ever had..."

It was the morning just after Porunga announced to everyone that Goku was alive somewhere, but didn't want to come home for whatever reason. The reunions weren't quite as happy without him, and the Namekians had been transported to their new home. So, everyone was left with quite a bit to process. If it was this bad for him, Yamcha couldn't imagine how the others felt.

He figured staying in bed wouldn't do much to ease his mood, but some breakfast might. He'd slept over at Capsule Corp, so he was ready for quite the meal. He donned a robe and some slippers before making his way to the kitchen.

When he arrived there, he found the refrigerator open, with a couple spikes of black hair sticking out over the door.

He waited patiently (and tiredly) for whoever this was to finish, but they just kept rummaging around.

"Hey, if you see the tangelo juice while you're in there, could you pass it to me, please?" Yamcha finally asked. A few seconds later, the tangelo juice was held out to him. "Thanks."

He proceeded to drink it right from the carton. The fridge hog peeked at him over the door and gave him a disgusted look.

"Ahhh…" Yamcha let out, refreshed. "So, uh—PBBT!" he sputtered in shock. "Oh, wait." He took a final sip of juice so he could do a proper spit take. "PBBBBBT! VEGETA?!"

Vegeta didn't even respond as Yamcha continued his freak-out and raced out of the kitchen. He pounced upon the nearest telephone and called Kame House.

"Yellow?" It was Krillin.

"Krillin, it's an emergency! I need you to round up our friends and get to Capsule Corp right away!"

"W-Whoa, what's going on?"

"Vegeta's here, and he's..." Yamcha looked back to see the Saiyan making chocolate milk. "...just get everyone over here, QUICK! Before I lose track of him or someone else sees him!"

"Alright, I'll do what I can..."

About 10 minutes later, Krillin arrived at Capsule Corp. JUST Krillin.

"This is what you could do?!" shouted Yamcha.

"Don't shout at me!"

"What happened to gathering our friends?! Tien, Piccolo, Gohan…"

"Long story short, the second I mentioned Vegeta, they wanted nothing to do with it," Krillin sighed. "And it certainly didn't help how vague you were about it! The guy clearly isn't destroying any cities, so why should we start anything with him?"

"Listen to yourself, man! Th—!"

"Morning, Veggie. Who spilled tangelo juice all over the place...?" came Bulma's voice as she passed through the kitchen. "Hi, Yamcha, Krillin. What're you guys whispering anxiously in the hallway for?"

She was pulled into a group huddle.

"What's up?"

"BULMA." Yamcha began sternly. "An intergalactic serial killer is helping himself to your pantry!"

"Vegeta? I invited him to stay here, remember? My parents are cool with it."

"Honestly, I thought he'd just stay for a rematch with Goku," Krillin spoke up. "We don't know when or even if Goku will come back, so what's he still doing here?"

Bulma shrugged. "Probably waiting for him to come back, just like us. Besides, I doubt he has anywhere better to go."

"Yeah, right!" Yamcha rolled his eyes. "I bet he's got plenty of lovely summer homes on distant planets! He'd be better off there than here!"

"Sure..."

"Bulmaaa. Everyone knows you're just letting him stay here because you think he's cute!"

"Yeah, you've given him a nickname and everything," mumbled Krillin.

"LOOK, he hasn't done any harm to anyone or anything since he's gotten here, so I don't know why you think I should do something!"

"See, Yamcha, that's what I said..."

"Screw that noise! How are we gonna get rid of him? Do you think poison or chloroform would be good?"

Bulma's eyes widened. "Whoa, whoa, we never said anything about that!"

"Why not?! I'd just rather be safe than sorry, and we're not safe with that evil bastard here! It's called preventative maintenance!"

Krillin sighed. "That makes me wonder how Goku would feel about this..."

A solemn silence hung over the trio before they heard an obnoxious ringing noise. It was the phone from earlier.

Bulma picked it up. "Hello?"

"Hey, it's me, Goku!"

"Goku?!"

"GOKU?!" Krillin and Yamcha stampeded over to the phone as Bulma put it on speaker.

"Yeah, it's me!"

"Oh my goodness, Goku! W-Where are you? Out in space? How did you escape Namek?"

"Listen, I don't exactly have time to explain. I just wanted to tell you that if Vegeta's there with you, you shouldn't fuss about it."

"Huh? Why?"

"BECAUSE, you know Vegeta…! It won't be so bad having him there, so don't make it a big deal! Really, Vegeta's a rad guy; for one thing, heee's very powerful, as you know. He presents himself well, he has a nice ass, he..."

Bulma, Krillin and Yamcha pulled away from the phone and exchanged a perplexed look. As "Goku" continued praising Vegeta, the trio heard it sort of echoing down the hallway. They tiptoed through the kitchen and down the hall only to find Vegeta hunched over the phone in the next room.

"...considering his education, he's really smart, and he—" Just then, Vegeta noticed the group in the doorway. "Ah."

"VEGETA!" they exclaimed with nearly enough force to knock him over.

"What a dirty trick!"
"How dare you toy with our emotions like that!"
"You do a shockingly good Goku voice!"

Vegeta groaned and ran a hand down his face. "Looks like I'll have to be straightforward from here on out. So, I overheard you plotting to get rid of me..."

"Eep…!" Krillin and Yamcha clutched each other fearfully as he stood up straight.

"And even if you could, there's no need for you to pester me by trying. As much as you humans annoy me, I have no desire to do away with or even hurt you." Vegeta looked up in thought. "Well, maybe I do have a desire to hurt you..."

"EEP!" Krillin and Yamcha squeaked again.

"But I won't HAVE TO as long as you stay off my nerves!" Vegeta glared down at Krillin. "Remember, on Namek I promised I wouldn't bring harm you lot provided you don't pull any traitorous crap with me...again. So don't bother me and everything will be nice and painless for you."

"R-Really?"

"Well, why are you still here?"

Vegeta didn't feel any obligation to explain himself, but figured he may as well get it out of the way. "To wait for Kakarot. I have a few questions and choice words for him. Frustrating as it is, I'm sure he'll return eventually and I don't have some summer home to live in."

"See?" Bulma said smugly. "Veggie's not up to anything bad for now!"

"Never call me that."

"'For now'," Yamcha made a face. "So we're just supposed to let you laze around for however long it takes for Goku to come back?"

"YES," hissed Vegeta.

"And then what?" Krillin asked cautiously. "You turn on us? You try to kill Goku?"

Vegeta smirked at the thought of defeating a Super Saiyan. "You'll just have to wait and see."

"...are you hearing any of this?!" Yamcha turned to the seemingly lovestruck Bulma. "He wants to kill our friend!"

"His lil smirk is so cute," she cooed before snapping out of it. "Oh, hey! I think Vegeta needs some new clothes, guys!"

"WHAT?!" went everyone else in the room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Now, Vegeta didn't want any trouble. He was aware that messing around too much on this planet could result in an unneeded layer of hostility between him and Goku whenever he came back. And although it burned him up inside to admit it, he was pretty sure Goku could hand him his ass.
BUT as much as he wanted to co-exist and all that mushy peacefulness, the man had his limits. And trying on a 60-something-year old human's clothes came dangerously close to those limits.

"Alright!" Bulma dropped a dusty briefcase in the center of the room. "My dad said you could have his old clothes from when he was your age."

Krillin raised an eyebrow. "He held onto them all this time?"

"He's weird like that. Bless his heart." Bulma blew the dust off and cracked the case open. "Come on, Vegeta, try some stuff on and see if you like it."

Vegeta merely stared into the case with distaste. The clothes smelled like tobacco and were all kinds of colors he never even knew existed.

"What...? I know they aren't exactly in season, but it's what I could find for you on short notice!" scoffed Bulma. "And if you really want to assimilate into human society, your look is the first and most important step."

"...doesn't he live here too?" Vegeta gestured toward Yamcha.

"No, he lives in the desert," Krillin replied. "But I've been helping him look for an apartment."

Vegeta somehow appeared disappointed by that. "Then why is he hanging around here all the time?"

"Why are you talking about me like I'm not here...?" Yamcha said in an exasperated tone. "For your information, I'm Bulma's boyfriend!"

Vegeta glanced at him and Bulma multiple times before making an unimpressed face. "...ooh."

"Relevance?"

"You probably have some clothing lying around, then."

"I do not," fibbed Yamcha, thinking back to the clothes he had literally lying around his guest bedroom. "I don't usually spend the night, if you know what I mean."

"Pick at least one outfit from here!" Bulma insisted.

"FINE!" Vegeta yanked his gloves and heavily damaged armor off. "But to clarify, I'm not 'assimilating' into anything! I'm merely taking up residence—!"

"Whoa, whoa!" Yamcha interrupted. "What are you doing?!"

"Undressing myself...?"

"There's a privacy screen RIGHT THERE! Go change behind that!"

"..." Vegeta picked up the briefcase and shuffled on behind the privacy screen, grumbling to himself. "Didn't think that's what it was for...dramatizer..."

Yamcha facepalmed while Bulma and Krillin stared after the Saiyan with arousal and bewilderment respectively.

For the next 10 or so minutes, Vegeta tried on everything from checkered shirts to bell-bottom jeans to zoot suits to tassels. TASSELS. And about half of those minutes were spent on Vegeta refusing to show everyone what he had put on. Just as they all expected, he wasn't too happy with any of the outfits.
At one point, he could hear the human trio whispering about him while he was changing behind the privacy screen.

"What if he doesn't like any of the clothes?" Krillin thought out loud.

Yamcha squinted at him. "Are we seriously worrying about whether or not Vegeta gets a nice outfit? WE'RE GIVING FREE CLOTHES TO AN UNREPENTANT MASS MURDERER."

"If it comes down to it, there are a couple of my mom's clothes he might look good in," snickered Bulma.

She and Krillin shared a good giggle over that.

"Guys, that's not funny! You know he'd kill us if we made him wear those!" warned Yamcha. "...but it'd totally be worth it."

They all burst out laughing, and tried to shush each other. But it was a little late for that.

"That tears it!" Clothed in nothing but a pair of boxers, Vegeta flared up his ki, demolishing half the room and sending Bulma, Krillin and Yamcha flying back. "So, you find this funny?! Treating me like some kind of dress-up doll?!"

The humans cowered as he snarled and powered up even more.

"O-Okay, maybe we got a little carried away...!"

"My choice to live amongst you scum is NOT an excuse for you to put me through whatever ridiculous endeavors you please!" Vegeta stomped, breaking the floor further. "You weaklings actually get something akin to mercy from me, and you DARE MAKE A MOCKERY OF ME!"

"EEEK!" Bulma ducked behind Yamcha. "Protect me, boyfriend!"

"Oh, hell no!" Yamcha ducked behind Krillin. "You're the strongest of us, buddy!"

"No fair!" Krillin ducked behind Bulma. "Use your woman powers to stop him!"

"My WHAT?!"

"Ughhh." Vegeta turned on his heel. "You're not even worth it."

With that, the prince flew out of the enormous hole he'd created in the wall. Bulma, Yamcha and Krillin stared after him, still shaking with fear.

"Wh-What a jerk."

"He didn't even think we were worth killing."

"Well, at least we're alive."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next day, Yamcha stretched and yawned on his way into the kitchen. "Morning, Bulma."

"Morning, Yamcha." She sipped her coffee. "Did you sleep well?"

"Mostly. It's just, Puar kept scratching the door, so I had to let him out. Then back in. Then back out."

"Really?"

"Yeah, sometimes he randomly chooses to act like an actual cat. I swear he—"

BOOSH!

Suddenly, Yamcha was blasted across the kitchen by a flashy beam attack.

"AGHH!" He landed painfully in the hallway.

"That was for lying to me," Vegeta declared, stepping into the kitchen.

Bulma sipped some more. "Oh, Vegeta, you're back."

"'OH, VEGETA, YOU'RE BACK'?!" Yamcha repeated from the floor.

"Uh, and hey, you found some clothes. From...?" Bulma said carefully.

"Your boy toy's room." Vegeta began rummaging through the fridge at a quicker pace than he had the previous morning. "I'm still not 'assimilating', I just don't have any good armor on me."

"Sure..."

"Wait." Yamcha joined the Saiyan at the fridge. "You snuck into my room?! When?! Why?!"

"Yes, last night, and I just said why. You know, you really don't come across as a good listener."

"He's really not," muttered Bulma.

Yamcha crossed his arms. "And out of all the clothes, you chose a lime green button-down and khakis?"

"It was dark."

"You look like a children's TV show host."

Vegeta shot him a cold glare. "A children's TV show host who could kick your ass."

"Right, right!" Yamcha said anxiously. He stepped aside as Vegeta carried a bunch of boxes, bottles, etc. full of victuals out of the room. "Phew...why do I get the feeling this is going to be the norm for a while?"

"Probably because it is." Bulma got up and put her mug away. "By the way, I would've told him he looked like a gherkin. Y'know? Because vegetables? Heh-heh."

"Bulmaaa? You're really okay with him staying here?"

"Yeah, I already told you."

"Ugh, fine. But I'm going back to the desert tomorrow, so don't blame me if he...DOES anything."

Bulma chuckled to herself. "I won't."

(A/N: Boy, I really indulged myself with this one. So, if you enjoyed this, please review, fave and check out my profile for more. PEEEACE!)