Conquer Part II

By: MusketeerAdventure

Summary: Sonny survives a near death experience and as Lisa struggles alongside him, she is intent on understanding their relationship and clearing the air between them. These are missing scenes from the season two episode 'Time to Shine'.

How was this happening? How was this happening? How was this happening?

The mantra would not release her, crowding out rational thought; instruction from her superiors; the ability to do her job. As the news of Sonny's predicament seeped in and took hold, the room became a foreign place; swam before her eyes and took on a surreal, unnatural quality.

Overwhelmed, hands shaking – Lisa abruptly stood; left her post and barely made it from the control room with her professionalism intact. Once out…escape achieved, her body gave way. Legs wobbling, knees weak with fear, she slowly slid to the floor. She could not think. She could not think. She could not think. She could not breathe.

Her stomach churned with anxiety; and her heart was breaking.

Gripping her chest she could feel the jagged pieces cutting through her carefully built wall of protection…a wall that all her adult life, stood strong against the battering winds of loss, grief and disappointment. It had protected her; kept her safe; been a comforting mainstay.

It had taken years to build it; and now it was crumbling.

A vision of Sonny dying alone – suffocating, drowning, afraid, rushed at her like a cyclone and sucked the air from her lungs. She knew how he felt about water; his fear of closed in spaces … of dying alone. She knew all this and sensed his panic; could feel it deep in her bones.

Devastated, she covered her face. Bricks were falling around her.

"Damn you Sonny.", she whispered through the painful lump in her throat. Clenching her mouth shut to keep her sobs at bay, she let tears hovering on the edge of her vision fall. Looking down at her hands in confusion she admonished herself. This was not acceptable. She would not accept this.

Swiping tears quickly away, Lisa stood swiftly to her feet. Bending over to gather some air back into her lungs, she forced herself to slowly breath…in…out…in…out; then moved toward the door to continue her duties.

Continue because Sonny was going to be okay. Sonny was just stubborn enough to survive this. And he would. He would survive – he would live. There was no way he could leave her now. Not now when they had too much to lose; too much to discuss…too much on the line.

If he did this thing; if he left her…she would never forgive him.

He was her best friend. She knew him. His drive and tenacity was legendary. This wasn't the end. It better not be. Her own tenacious nature reared its ugly head. She would will it so. And if that didn't work, she would carry this grudge to her own demise, then find him on the other side and kick his ass.

Gathering her wits; straightening out her uniform…wiping away any remnants of tears and settling down her heart rate….Lisa pulled the pieces of her wall back in place. Standing tall she put her face in neutral and re-entered the room.

The control room went quiet; then erupted into wild applause. Receiving the news from Blackburn that Sonny was okay came with a sense of relief and confirmation of what she already knew.

That not only was Sonny one tough hombre; but he had a will as strong as steel. They were much alike in this way – tough, determined…a verified bad ass.

Tenseness drained from her body and she could instantly feel the muscles in her neck, and jawline relax. Everything was going to be okay. She could see her way clear now. A second chance had been afforded them. Someone had seen fit to take pity on her and gift Sonny his life.

It was up to her now to make good on this gift. She didn't know how or when or even if she had the courage to go through with it; but she would make good.

Placing her forehead down on the table before her, Lisa sighed and let the weight of fear and uncertainty roll off her shoulders. Shuddering, she closed her eyes and did not care who witnessed her act of gratitude brought on by love.

Her best friend was coming home.

Someone grabbed hold of her arm and squeezed. When she lifted her head and looked up, Trent was standing next to her – beaming; his heart visible on his sleeve.

Could he see her heart as well she wondered? Had he seen her stubborn refusal to believe Sonny would not leave her…leave them? Or that perhaps she had made herself believe it; willed it to come true. If he hadn't come through….

Refusing to dwell on what ifs, Lisa stood and embraced Trent – who hugged her back with a strength that poured into her heart, giving the pieces there a binding thread.

When the gurney rolled by, she could not help it. She couldn't stop herself and didn't care. Inserting herself between medical personnel, she grabbed hold of his hand and ran alongside him. Alarmed, she noticed how colorless he seemed, how his hand was so cold. She drew in a startled breath.

Had she been lied to? He seemed so lifeless – so…..

Why would Blackburn lie? The pain in her chest returned. This wasn't her Sonny. Her Sonny was vibrant; funny and a pain in her ass. He was supposed to be sitting up…giving them all grief; complaining that he didn't want to be babied.

This was not him.

Squeezing his hand, she leaned over to get a better look. "Where are you?", she murmured, and searched his face for any sign that he knew she was there, that he was aboard the aircraft, that he was alive.

"He's okay.", Trent said, interrupting her thoughts. "Don't worry; he'll be himself before you know it."

So she nodded; let go of his hand, and watched them wheel Sonny away to the infirmary and swing the curtains around to keep her and the rest of the team out. Looking to Bravo, she could see their expressions of distress and wondered if they could see hers as well. No one spoke or moved; only stared at the stark white curtain separating them from their family.

Biting her lip Lisa turned away. She could not stand vigil with them and absorb their pain as well. It was too much. So blindly she walked the perimeter of the aircraft – rebuffing concerned inquiries of Sonny's status with a frown, a stern look and rigid body language which shouted, "Back off and let me find some peace!"

Suddenly there was Clay, who instead of waiting by the curtain with the rest of Bravo, fumbled with Sonny's hammock and began to hook it up to the rafters. Baffled, she slowly moved toward him, and touched his shoulder. "You know he won't be sleeping here.", she stated and watched as a vein throbbed at his temple.

Studying his face, she recognized herself in him and stepped back to give him space.

"But, if you don't mind", she continued, "I'd like to rest here if that's okay."

She smiled warmly back when a wan smile creased his lips, and was surprised when he lifted her up to sit securely in the hammock.

Leaning back, Lisa succumbed quickly to weariness and let the sway of the hammock hypnotize her…carry her away to a quiet, safe place free of dreams; free of worry; and free of the ache in her heart.

When she woke some hours later, Sonny's good luck hat lay tight in her grip.

Quietly she moved the curtain aside and stepped in.

Moving closer to the bed, Lisa could see that though he was not conscious, Sonny definitely looked better. His face no longer a deathly white, she reached over stroked his scraggly beard; then leaned in to caress it cheek to cheek.

In this unguarded state Sonny was adorable…his face relaxed into sweetness; his fierce personality tempered. This is when she loved him most… his defenses down, his heart open.

Above his head she could see the life monitoring machines which showed her that all was well. His heart rate seemed steady; his oxygen levels good. Blackburn hadn't lied to them after all.

Grabbing Sonny's hand, she was relieved to feel his warmth; but a little worried he did not wake to greet her. Sighing; disappointed not to gaze into his eyes; Lisa leaned over and whispered in his ear, "How dare you cowboy." Knowing she wasn't being fair at all.

Then ever so gently, she placed her head on his chest; pressing her ear down over his heart and closed her eyes. There it was she smiled. Like music, the beat of his heart, a song pounding in a rhythmic staccato – strong, steady and in sync with her own.

Magically, she could feel the fragments of her heart solidify that much more.

As Clay exited the hospital room and closed the door behind him, Lisa stood quickly from her chair. Reaching out, he fell into her open arms and let her embrace him.

"How is he?" she asked, then let him go.

"He is who he is." Clay laughed. Lisa laughed with him. She had noticed Clay's melancholy and was glad to hear the lightness in his voice.

"And you?" she wanted to know, "How are you?" studying him closely; taking note of the bruising on his knuckles.

Nodding, gripping Sonny's had; then jamming it on his head, Clay smiled. "I'm better, now that we've talked."

And as he moved away, Lisa nervously hoped she would be able to say the same. She had waited a week. To be sure they both were strong enough to have this talk, because now was the time to have this conversation. So she entered without knocking, strode in with purpose and pulled the only chair in the room close to the bedside.

Amused, Sonny lifted an eyebrow and pet the empty space at his side. Abandoning the chair, she accepted his invitation, sat herself down and took a deep breath. Staring at the ceiling, she searched for the right words that would help her begin.

Sonny grabbed hold of her hand and lightly pressed her fingers. "Just say it Lisa.", he encouraged.

Nodding with determination, she focused her gaze on him. "You shouldn't have gone through my stuff Sonny." Exasperated with herself Lisa slumped her shoulders; then rubbed her eyes with agitation. She hadn't wanted to begin this way.

"In my defense", Sonny chuckled, "I was looking for a spatula."

Nodding in deference to his point, she continued, "You should have told me you knew about Officer Training."

Sonny leaned back and sighed. "Why didn't you just tell me?"

"Because I wanted to keep it to myself. Because I didn't want to hear it Sonny. I didn't want to hear you and the guys dogging my dreams; questioning my competence; riding my back…giving me a hard time. I know how you feel about officers; how you all feel. I didn't want you to feel that way towards me. I wanted to find a way to tell you and the others in my own way…at the right time. When I felt ready."

A long pause settled in as she watched Sonny's reaction and he considered her. They knew each other so well, but perhaps not well enough.

Breaking the silence, Lisa pressed on. "This means a lot to me Sonny."

Contrite, Sonny nodded in understanding. "And I did just what you thought would happen. I'm sorry."

Reaching for his hand Lisa smiled with him. "I'm sorry too." , she uttered and kissed the back of his hand.

Once again, silence fell over the room, and she let their apologies; and emotions sink in to settle in the space between them.

"You know how much I loved Danny." , she softly stated.

"Yes. Yes I do." Sonny whispered back.

Voice cracking, Lisa pushed forward, "I gave him every part of me Sonny, and he chose to leave. Every day I think about him, and wonder what I could have done differently to save him." Leaning over, she kissed his lips firmly and breathed out. "Thank you for staying."

Gently returning her kiss Sonny breathed in her essence; her determination...her love of life. "You are welcome.", he said, then added after some thought, "I suppose we can't go back to being more than just friends, can we?"

Scrunching up her face, lips trembling; her eyes sad, Lisa shook her head…no.

*"Then can you forgive me friend?" Sonny sang out from his favorite song.

Chuckling, Lisa leaned back and considered him carefully; her love for him as strong as ever. "Yes friend, you are forgiven." …then stretched out to lay by his side and embraced him warmly.

Thank you for reading. Please leave a review to let me know what you think. A few reviewers asked about a second chapter focusing on Lisa and Sonny. I gave it my best shot and hope you enjoyed it. Also, I wanted to say "thank you" to those who reviewed and was unable to respond to for my previous story, 'Interesting Form'. Your comments are most appreciated.

Just a reminder that the second half of the SEAL Team season begins on March 13th at 10:00 p.m. Pacific Time.

*Forgive Me Friend is a song by Smith and Thell. I particularly enjoy the acoustic version.