AN: That last ep broke me, so here I am, fixing it. The title comes from the Bryan Adams song of the same name. I hope you enjoy, and please leave a review!
"You invited me here to..."
"To say goodbye to a good friend," Jack finished for him, a sad smile on his face. This was going to be difficult for both of them. Mac started shaking his head, and it looked like he was about to back away.
"No," Mac said. "No, you- you can't leave and just not know when or even if you're coming back." Mac's eyes started to fill with tears. "I know that's what I did to you when my dad came back and I'm so sorry, that was wrong and I never should've done it, I'm so sorry Jack, but please, don't do this. If this is some kind of punishment for that I know I deserve it but please-"
"No," Jack said forcefully, stopping Mac in his tracks. He reached up and put his hands on the kid's shoulders. A single tear fell down. "This is not about anything that you've done. I've forgiven you for that and you know it."
"Then why are you leaving me?" Mac asked. He gave a nervous smile, but wiped at the tears that were beginning to fall. Jack briefly thought about turning away to give him some privacy, since Mac truly hated it when people saw him cry, but turning away would do more harm than good at this point. "Why not let someone else hunt this guy down?"
"Kovac is a bad dude, like really bad. I won't be able to sleep as long as he's out there, especially since he probably knows who tried to kill him last time. If he knows that was me, then he probably knows about you. If he knows about you then you're in danger. I can't let anything happen to you." It was Jack's turn to wipe at the tears at his own eyes. "So I have to hunt this guy down and put him in the ground before he has the chance to hurt you, or anyone else for that matter." But mostly you. Jack left that unsaid. Mac was still shaking his head. He kept trying to get all the tears before they fell, but now there were too many to catch. "I have to protect you, kid. I have to protect you from him, and that means I have to go stop him myself. I'm coming back-"
"How do you know?" Mac nearly shouted. "How do you know you're gonna make it back this time? Jack, we've had so many close calls throughout the years, how do you know that this won't be it? What if something happens to you, and I'm not- and I'm not there?" Mac turned away and pressed his palms into his eyes to wipe away the tears left there. He put his hands on his hips and let out a deep breath, still turned away. "How do I know I'm gonna see you again?" he asked in a whisper.
"Because I love you." It wasn't something they said all that often to each other, which made each time they said it very important. This time, Mac froze, then slowly started to turn around. But Jack wasn't done. He needed Mac to understand this, to understand that Jack loved him more than anything in the world, and he was only doing this because he didn't trust anyone else to get Kovac. He had to keep Mac safe from that monster. No one in the world was safe while Kovac still had air in his lungs, much less someone connected to the man's enemies. "Because I'm doing this only because of how much I love you." Jack was crying now, but he made no effort to wipe the tears away. "Because you know that I am too good to get killed by some terrorist. Because I have so much here to come back to." Jack closed the distance between himself and Mac, and once again put his hands on the kid's skinny shoulders. The thought that Mac would likely only get skinnier with Jack gone quickly flashed through his mind, but he couldn't focus on that now, and besides, after Bozer adjusted, he would certainly step up in terms of taking care of Mac, and making sure that he was eating enough. When Jack spoke again, it was in a whisper. "Because I made you a promise seven years ago that I am never going to leave you. Because, if you go kaboom, I go kaboom. That's how it's always been, kiddo, and that's how it's always gonna be. This isn't me leavin' you, because I will come back. I swear on my father's grave that I will come back to you, okay?" Jack's voice was shaking by the end. Mac nodded, tears once again falling. He wasn't trying to stop them anymore either. "Come here, kid."
Jack pulled his kid into a bone-crushing hug, and quickly moved a hand up to Mac's head. The kid melted into Jack's touch, clutching Jack with all he had as his shoulders began to shake with soft sobs. He buried his head in Jack's shoulder. Jack quickly felt Mac's tears soaking the material, but he didn't care. All Jack cared about was his kid, falling apart in his arms. He gently caressed Mac's hair, and started rubbing his back. He had no thoughts of his own tears, and his own heart that was breaking. This was one of the hardest things he'd ever done. Jack made a few soft, calming noises, maybe similar to what he used on horses back in Texas, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was holding his kid, and not letting him break anymore than he already had.
Jack didn't know how long they stood there in his living room, holding each other and crying, but later, while he was walking out the door of Phoenix for the last time in a while, he knew it hadn't been long enough. He wished he could've repeated it again, when he said goodbye to Bozer and Riley and Matty. When he saw those tears once again shining in Mac's eyes, all he wanted to do was hold him and tell him how much he loved him, but he couldn't. Because if he did that, then he would stay, and he couldn't stay. He had to hunt Kovac done, had to put him away before he hurt Mac, because somehow, someway, Jack just knew that he would if he didn't go after him himself. He just knew it, and Jack had learned long ago to trust his gut when it came to Mac's safety. But still, as Jack made his way to the transport, he knew, it hadn't been long enough.
SIX MONTHS LATER
Jack was practically giddy with excitement. Kovac was dead - for real this time - and Jack was on his way home to Mac. He'd already called Matty, and made sure that she kept Mac late at the Phoenix so he could could have their reunion in private. He would see Bozer and Riley the next day, but this night was just for him and Mac. Matty had said that she would keep Mac late in the labs and then call him up under the pretense that she needed to speak with him privately in the war room. Then, Jack would walk in, and Matty would slip out. It had been a long six months with only occasional radio contact with his kid. It had been far too long.
By the time Jack arrived at Phoenix, basically everyone was gone. That was good. Jack didn't want any distractions keeping him from getting back to Mac. Soon enough, he was standing outside the glass of the war room. His heart leapt at seeing Mac, whose back was to him. Finally, freaking finally, he was back where he belonged. Matty had sat Mac down and was talking to him in a low voice, but Jack could still hear what she was saying.
"It's about Jack," she said. It was a good thing she was smiling, because Jack knew those words would have terrified Mac without it. "Turn around."
Mac whipped his head around so quickly that Jack wouldn't have been surprised if he got whiplash. The moment their eyes met, the biggest smile Jack had ever seen graced his boy's face, and his eyes filled with tears - this time, they were tears of joy.
"Jack!" he called out. He slowly stood, then literally ran to meet Jack at the door. Mac launched himself at his partner, colliding with him with enough force to make Jack take a step back. He wrapped his arms around him, and pressed himself as close to Jack as he possibly could. "You're back, you're here, you're home," Mac muttered into Jack's shoulder. Once again, Jack could feel the tears staining his shirt, and once again, he didn't care. Matty smiled at them and walked past, patting Jack on the leg as she went by.
"Yeah, kiddo, I'm home now," he replied. Jack held Mac close to him, wrapping him in his arms. "I'm not goin' anywhere." Mac just melted into him more, clutching the back of Jack's shirt like a lifeline. Jack wouldn't have been surprised if Mac lifted his legs up to wrap around him more like a koala. The thought brought another smile to his face, and he moved a hand up to Mac's head. He gently ran his fingers through that blond hair and sighed. He'd missed this, missed the feeling of his kid's soft hair beneath his fingertips. He'd missed Mac so freaking much. And clearly the feeling was mutual.
"I missed you so much, Jack," Mac muttered into his shoulder, affirming Jack's thoughts. He hadn't given up on his grip on Jack at all, and seemed to be in no hurry to let go. That was perfectly fine with Jack, who never wanted to let go of his kid either.
"I missed you too, kiddo," Jack said. He began to rub gentle circles on Mac's back. "I missed you so much, but it's all over. I'm home now, I promise." Jack could feel his own tears of joy beginning to fall, but that was okay.
It was late, very late, so Jack wasn't surprised when Mac's grip got more and more loose, and then fell, after several more minutes. The moment his grip fell entirely, Mac's head snapped back up and he took a sudden step away from Jack.
"Sorry, it's been a long day," he said, his eyes comically wide as he stretched them out in effort to stave off his fatigue. Mac quickly closed the distance again, and almost reached up for Jack again. After having no contact with him for six months, Jack wasn't surprised that Mac wanted as little distance between them as possible.
Jack smiled. "Let's get you home, kiddo," he said.
"No!" Mac quickly interjected, his eyes going wide with something akin to fear. "I wanna stay with you." The moment he said it, his eyes fell and his face went red. It broke Jack's heart. Mac shouldn't feel ashamed for wanting to stay with him after months without him. The fact that this is what James taught the kid growing up, that he shouldn't want that contact, renewed Jack's hatred for the man.
"Don't worry," Jack said, swinging an arm up and around Mac's shoulders. "You're comin' home with me, bud." This brought a small smile back to Mac's face, and he melted back into Jack's touch. Mac walked as close to Jack as he possibly could without tripping him, and seemed upset at the loss of the physical contact once they got to the car.
Upon arriving at Jack's apartment, Mac went right back to sticking as close to him as he possibly could. Jack didn't mind at all. He'd missed the kid something crazy. Making soup for dinner proved to be a little interesting with Mac never moving more than a few inches away from him, but Jack wasn't about to push him away.
Mac talked about what they'd been up to the last few months, but his heart wasn't in his words. Jack could tell that all he really wanted was to just be there with him for now. Catching up could wait.
After forcing Mac to eat something, they moved to the couch, where Mac sat so close to Jack that the he quickly ended up leaning against him. Jack wrapped an arm around him and pulled him even closer. That seemed to be exactly what Mac needed, because he nuzzled in even more. It didn't take long for the kid to fall asleep, half on top of Jack. He didn't mind. He had been looking forward to his first night in six months in his own bed, but sleeping there on the couch, with his kid tucked right up against him, was even better.
With a soft sigh, Jack turned his head so that it was resting on top of Mac's, and closed his eyes. He breathed in the smell of his kid, and his apartment. He'd missed this. In his sleep, Mac snuggled even closer to Jack, and brought his hand up to rest on Jack's chest. Jack smiled. He never wanted to leave this again.