AN: Just a funny little one shot I thought of! Don't take it seriously :) P.S if Regina's a little OOC remember she's on her period and periods make women really moody and stuff. Nothing belongs to me but the plot

Regina swore this was it, this was the most painful thing she swore. She buried a pillow in her face, moaning and groaning through the pain. She held her stomach in pain. Cramps. She had murdered, defeated some of the most powerful people but menstrual cramps were the thing that brought her to her knees?

Now that was just sad. She was supposed to be the Evil Queen (Well reformed Evil Queen, but Evil Queen nonetheless) Madam Mayor and here she was wishing for death. She already took to more advil than what was deemed safe but nothing.

She stands up grumbling under her breath, she needed to change her tampon and maybe just maybe take another bottle of advil and shove it down her throat. Going to her bathroom was a pain but when she open the cabinet to see that she had no tampons. Deciding she wasn't going outside mainly for the safety of all of Storybrooke. As well as the added idea that she was in no shape to be doing anything that involves physical movement.

Pressing her luck she screams at the top of her lungs "ROBIN FUCKING HOOD LOCKSLEY OR WHATEVER THE FUCK YOUR LAST NAME IS!"

Now this was quite a surprise to Robin who had been sitting in the living room reading Henry's story book, wincing at the shouting he makes haste to his soulmate. Practically running up the stairs he reaches his love in a matter of seconds. "Yes love?"

"I need you to go to the store and buy me some tampons" She tells him, it wasn't a request but a demand. Robin wasn't quite sure what a tampon was but if it kept her from yelling at him he would happily get it for her. "Oh and ice cream, and a whole apple and pie and a whole lotta chocolate. If you don't bring me everything I want in an hour, I swear to fucking god that I will mess you up so bad"

Now this temper suprised Robin, just hours ago she was in a relatively good mood, what had upset her this time? No matter, not wanted to be the subject of her temper he scampers off. "Oh and bring Emma with you!"

He practically ran-no he did run to the station. He had less than an hour to get her a butt load of food as well as acquire something called a tampon. Regina had told him to find Emma, he figured that she must know what Regina had been speaking of.

Seeing Emma he approaches her almost embarrassed. "Emma? I need your help" His voice was a whisper, as if he was trying to be discreet, which she found strange. They were the only ones there, he could talk at a normal volume. But she found herself also whispering. "Why are we whispering?"

"Because" He said back, his voice still low, he looks off to the side. "It's Regina, she sent me to acquire something"

Emma tilts her head, making a face. "Okay..what does she need?"

Robin lean sin, cupping his hand over his mouth as if he sharing a secret, Emma plays along awkwardly, letting him whisper it into her ear. She hoped it wasn't something illegal.

"She told me to get something called tampons" He said. Emma head jerks away from Robin's face. She laughs out loud, clutching her stomach hard. "I'm fine...just.." More laughter "...tampons?...I can't...breathe..."

After a few more attempts at composing herself, on the fifth she finally manages to let out a shaky breath. "Sorry about that. That's your secret? She needs tampons?"

Robin coughs but nods, his face getting red. Emma looks at his embarrassed, sheepish face and chuckles "She let out the Evil Queen on you"

"Just a bit, I don't understand it, one moment she fine and the next she's.." he trails off "Oh, that's normal, you know mood swings. It's like she's pregnant but she's not"

She shrugs, so he was tampon run, nothing unusual. She had just made Hook go on one for her a few weeks ago. But he seemed less embarrassed and more clueless.

"Regina's pregnant?" He voice came out, surprise in his voice. Emma had to hold back the urge to bang her head on a door. But she jumps to shoot down the idea before he gets the chance to run up and down the streets of Storybrooke that he was going to be a father again, just to find out that Regina isn't actually pregnant. "No. I said it's like she's pregnant but she's not"

"I'm not following" Emma buried her head in her hands. "How about we discuss this on our way to supermarket ok?"

Robin remembering that he had a certain time frame in which he needed to follow so he wouldn't be fireballed or demoted to the guest bedroom nods. The supermarket is empty considering that it is a random Tuesday in the summer, just a short ten minute walk from the police station. But for Robin it's a torcherous ten minutes of Emma trying her best to explain the so called menstrual system.

Although to be fair, Emma wasn't the one to give Henry the talk rather it was Regina, so she wasn't quite sure how to explain it to him with being equally was red as him. Walking into the supermarket was a whole other experience for him, Robin was never the one to buy groceries, and frankly now that he thinks about it he's never even been here.

He grabs a basket and follows Emma around to the freezer to grab some ice cream for his soulmate. "What ice cream did Regina ask for?"

Robin stops to think about it "She didn't tell me what flavor she wanted"

Emma sighs, opening the freezer door, grabbing vanilla, chocolate, mint chip, strawberry, hell she even got frozen yogurt. "Umm Emma isn't that a whole lot of ice cream?"

"Well because her majesty didn't tell you what flavor of ice cream she wanted I'm guessing. I don't want you to drag me here again just because you brought the wrong flavor" Robin eyes grow wide, and he thought missing year Regina was scary.

"Oh she also wanted apple pie"

"Are you sure? It won't be as good as hers and do you really want to hear her complain about how it doesn't compare to her own apple pie" Emma retorts. At least she didn't live with the mayor. Now that would be terrifying especially during that time of the month.

Robin shudders but nods "It's better than getting a fireball to the face because you forgot her apple pie. I might be her soulmate but I'm not safe from her rages"

Emma just shrugs her shoulder, she didn't really care, although Robin should be packing his bags right about now but alas she grabs a frozen apple pie from the dessert section.

They make haste to get the candy section and this tie Robin and Emma grab everything that has chocolate in the name or has chocolate somewhere on the package. And this is when the real fun begins.

The feminine hygiene product aisle, and that's when Robin loses any sort of hope for his life. He might as well be dead because there are hundreds of different types of tampon.

Looking over all the boxes "Super plus? Super? 2x as absorbent? Fitness? Sport? Regular? Pro comfort? Gentle glide 360? Gentle glide? Ultra? What's the difference between super and super plus, or fitness and sport?"

There had to be at least a million different types of tampons. What did he get himself into?

"Robin relax, we'll play it safe and just get regular" Emma says unsure how to comfort her son's other mom's soulmate, about not stressing over tampons. "What if she doesn't like regular tampons? What if she prefers gentle glide 360 or super plus? What happens then?"

They weren't getting anywhere sighing Emma throws one of each box into Robins basket which was now overflowing. Perhaps they should have gotten a shopping cart. Fuck. Emma wante dto bnag her head on a door, this was a whole lot of money. A whole lot of money Robin didn't have.

He didn't really have a job, unless you count being a former thief a job which Emma wouldn't. Great if she left now and said she had to do some savior duties then Robin would probably ended up stealing the whole lot. This was gonna set her back a bit. Huffing the blonde stays put.

They make their way to check out and Leroy who was working the at the register raises an eyebrow. Emma just mouths You don't want to know he just nods. Adding all of the stuff they bought, plus a dozen roses Robin insisted Regina had to have Emma would be spending over 70 dollars on the mayor. She better be damn grateful.

She send Robin on his way and practically runs home to Regina, unlocking the door, he braces himself for whatever strom Regina had in store for him.

"M'lady? Regina, love?" He asks and almost drops the rather heavy bag of food and supplies when he sees the his soulmate glaring at him. Placing the bag down on the coffee table he says "I brought you your ice cream and tampons"

"You're two minutes and 43 seconds late" She states a matter of factly. Still glaring at him. "Yes well darling you had quite a few demands" the words leave his mouth before he has time to register them.

He braces himself but after afew seconds and a fireball isn't thrown at his head he opens his eyes and sees his soulmate, face in her hands and shoulders shaking. he made her cry. Oh shit.

"Oh Regina, my love-I didn't mean, fuck I'm an arse, shit, shit, sorry, M'lady, I am so-" He babbles on, he never wanted to be the one to make her cry. He kneels down in front of her, grabbing her shoulders and squeezing lightly.

When Regina lifts her head he sees that her lips are cuved into a smirk and he watches in suprised and confusion and she laughs, hard uncontrollably. "Oh Robin, I can't believe you feel for that" more laughter "I can't breath"

It takes a few minutes more for her to compose and this time he's the one who glares at her. "Regina, that was not funny"

She pouts and gives him the biggest puppy eyes, a face he recognizes, one he recently saw Roland sporting just a few weeks ago. So that's where he got it from. He won't tell anyone, deny it if anyone asks but Regina was cuter than eveneven Roland in that moment.

He groans "Fine it was just a little funny"

She smiles,flashing her teeth. She leans in kissing him softly, just enough to get him hooked but not enough to make him feel indulged. "I love you"

"I love you too darling"

When they pull away she says "You brought the ice cream right? Because if you didn't I'm only giving you three seconds to run"

AN: Yay I hoped you enjoyed! And please, please, please review I thought it was really cute and funny (lol). I love hearing your thoughts and anymore fun one shot ideas you might have!

xoxo,

xxfangirldarlingxx