Here come's the epilogue. Sorry it took so long. This isn't even the one I had planned. The other epilogue felt a little too far away from the story. And yesterday I finally got the idea how I wanted the last chapter to go. So here it is.

I'll probably post the original epilogue too as kind of a bonus story. After all it is already written.

O-o-o-o-o

Two months later:

Kate flopped down on her bed, making Rick instantly aware of her presence. He watched her laying down beside him, he put his book on the nightstand. Kate smoothed her pj's down and let her head sink down on the pillow, her hair still wet from her bath.

Sadly the comfortingly warm water of her bath hadn't done anything to ease the tension or improve her mood. She hoped she could get away with telling her boyfriend that she was too tired to talk or to do anything. Otherwise she could guarantee that she would pick a fight with him over something ridiculous. Like she'd done with Ryan and Esposito this afternoon over lunch.

She really felt tired but that wasn't the whole problem. The bigger problem was the ache in her chest, her heart, to which she had no right to feel it. Rick was amazing, the perfect boyfriend. He kissed her goodbye in the morning, he greeted her with a kiss and homemade dinner whenever she came over to his place. Sometimes he even brought her flowers just because he felt like it. He draw her baths, he gave her space when he felt like she needed it. In summary he was the best boyfriend she'd ever had and more than she could ever have hoped for.

But still…

She tried to shake the thoughts of. Maybe a good nights sleep would help her sort her complicated feelings. She scooted further down the bed, rolled to the side that wasn't facing her boyfriend and closed her eyes.

„Night, Castle" she mumbled. She pulled the covers over herself, curling into them, knees pulled to her chest, arms close to her body like she was curling into a ball.

„Kate" Castle said softly. „What's wrong?" He had scooted closer to her but wasn't touching. He was surprisingly good at giving her space, had instantly recognized her need for space when he'd come over for their scheduled dinner date that evening. So they'd just eaten the take out he'd brought and after that he'd surprised her with a bath he'd drawn for her when she'd changed out of her work clothes. And then he'd left her to enjoy a little quiet time while he'd done the dishes. Knowing that after a stressful day that was how she wanted to unwind.

But of course her observant boyfriend had picked up that she wasn't just stressed from a case. No. This wasn't her usual behavior and of course he noticed. Normally after a bath she would be especially relaxed and touchy. The least she would do after she came out of the bathroom to join him on the bed was cuddle. Not today though.

Still, she denied it. „Nothing. Just tired" she said and sank even deeper into the covers, her chin now hidden too.

„Kate" The gentleness in his voice intensified the knot that was tied around her heart. Her feelings were so stupid. She didn't want to feel how she felt. He was perfect. They were perfect. And yet…

„It's nothing" she said but to her own horror her voice was shaky and quiet because of the tremble in her lips. She bit on them to keep them still. But the trembling had other plans and spread out to her whole body. Her eyes teared up and she was trying hard to hold the sobs in.

„It's not nothing" Rick said, his voice so full of understanding even if their was no way he understood what was going on. He scooted closer and hugged her. Well, he hugged the ball made of covers that contained her.

The moment his arms enclosed her she couldn't hold it in anymore. The tears started to stream down her face and the occasional sob broke free. She tried to hold them in but she couldn't. Not while she was encircled in Rick's loving embrace. She felt too safe and loved there to contain her emotions. Which was normally a good thing but not when she was having stupid feelings like she had now.

For a moment Rick just held her. To be honest he was a little shocked by her outburst. Absolutely clueless what had caused it. Nonetheless he stroked the covers she was laying under, not knowing if she could even feel it but at a loss of what he could do instead.

„I'v got you, Kate. I love you" he told her, hoping to comfort her with his words.

Her body shook with a few intense sobs after his admission. He didn't know if that was a bad thing but she let him held her. So maybe he was doing something right.

„Can you tell me what's wrong? Maybe I can help" he suggested. But Kate just shook her head miserably. She was being so stupid. She had no right to be this upset. This was ridiculous and absolutely not like her. But she just couldn't help it. The tears flew and the sobs broke free without her consent. Even trough the covers she could feel Rick's body warmth and the overwhelming feeling of his love for her made it impossible for her to close her feelings of.

With every minute that her crying continued Rick was growing more concerned. He'd never seen her this upset before. It had to be something very serious to upset her like this. But she wouldn't talk to him and that was making him a little desperate.

„Kate" he breathed, desperation showing in his voice. She took a few deep shaking breaths through her mouth, her nose probably stuffy because of the crying, and then she finally said something.

„I just miss you" she got out, her admission ending on another loud and heartbreaking sob. With the covers still tucked tightly around her she turned in his arms, her wet face finding its hiding place in the crook of his neck. His shoulder was instantly soaked with moisture from her tears and probably snot too.

„I'm right here" he told her soothingly but with a hint of confusion in his voice. He pulled her tighter against him but the covers made that a little difficult. Against his neck and shoulder he felt her shaking her head and sobbing against him, tears soaking his shirt.

„Let's free you of these covers a little, okay?" he said but didn't wait for her response. He untucked the covers around her and adjusted her a little so that she was now lying with her head on his chest. Her left ear right over his heart. She tightened her arms around him, clinging to his body as she sobbed.

„Hear my heartbeat?" he asked softly. „Just focus on that."

He felt her take a deep breath in and let a shaky breath out. She repeated that a few times and her breaths were growing less shaky after a few minutes. When she was calmer he loosened his hold on her a little and moved one hand up from her back to stroke her hair.

„Talk to me?" he asked after some time.

Kate breathed in deeply. „It's stupid."

„It got you crying. It can't be stupid" Castle reasoned.

„It is" Kate argued. „It's stupid and selfish."

„Honor me" Castle said, still stroking her hair.

„I miss you, Castle" she whispered, a few tears slipping free and soaking his shirt further.

„But I'm right here" Castle said. „How can you miss me?"

She shook her head. That's not what she meant. „I miss you at work. As my partner" Kate admitted, feeling incredibly stupid and ridiculous.

„It's so stupid and selfish. Being at the precinct is not even your real job. But I just miss you there. I miss you making me coffee, I miss you fidgeting in your chair beside my desk. I just miss working with you. I don't know why it hit me so hard today but I've been missing you the past two months. It probably just caught up with me tonight. We had a crazy case today with so much potential for a crazy theory and you weren't there to provide one. Ryan and Espo were making fun of it. Ryan was mimicking your voice and talked about CSI conspiracies and aliens and then Espo joined in and mimicked me scolding you for being overly imaginative. And normally I would just have ignored them but today I snapped. I miss you so much and they were making it worse. So I snapped at them and they were so shocked they didn't talk to me the rest of the day."

„Oh Kate" Rick breathed, bending his head to drop a kiss on the crown of her head. „Why didn't you say anything before?"

„Because I have no right to feel this way" she said. „It's not even your real job. And you have Sophie to care for. Which is far more important than keeping me entertained at my job. I should be able to do my job without my boyfriend there."

„As you said, I'm not just your boyfriend. I'm your partner too" Rick said. „You have every right to miss your partner, Kate. You are used to me being there, to us working together. I haven't felt it the way you have because I'm in an entirely different setting right now. But you are doing the same thing you've done with me for the past three years and I'm not there anymore. And I miss you too. I'm looking forward to seeing you all day and when I don't see you I'm becoming grumpy and after two days apart I'm restless and even Sophie tells me to go to your place because I'm being unenjoyable. She picked that up when Alexis said it."

„We are ridiculous, aren't we?" Kate asks, chuckling. It's not a laugh, it's more tears than amusement but it's a start.

„We are" Rick agreed and placed another kiss on her head.

They lay in each other's arms for a few more minutes before he broke the silence again.

„I'm going to put Sophie into school" Castle stated. Kate instantly shook her head and pushed herself up from his chest so she could look at him.

„No, Castle. You can't do that on my account. Just because I miss you doesn't mean you can put your daughter into school before she's ready. I don't want that. I'd rather miss you for another few months and have the occasional crying fit because of it than cause Sophie trauma by putting her into school before she's emotionally ready for it" Kate argued vehemently, the fire in her eyes coming back.

„I'm not. I think she's been ready for a few weeks now. She keeps asking me when she can go to school and learn awesome stuff like Alexis does. I think I kept telling myself that she wasn't ready because I wasn't" Castle mused.

And now that he'd spoken it out loud he knew it was true. Ever since his first official date with Kate and Sophies's first sleep-over with Alexis the little girl was asking him about school. He'd thought then it was too soon. And at that time it was because she'd talked about wanting to go to school with Alexis but in the past weeks she'd talked about going to preschool alone and he'd ignored it.

And that was because he hadn't been ready to let her go. He'd just found her and hadn't had that much time to bond with her and that had made him nervous. He was determined to provide Sophie with the same emotionally stable basis and support as he'd done for Alexis. But he was nervous about it because he hadn't gotten the chance to spend her baby years with her and was now anxious to let her go.

But it was time. And maybe it had needed Kate breaking down because she missed him because he was overprotecting Sophie for him to see that.

„Are you sure?" Kate asked, looking into his eyes. Not caring that he could see her puffy eyes and face.

„I am" he reassured. „I'm gonna talk to Sophie about it tomorrow and then I'm gonna call the principal"

„Okay" Kate agreed and let her head sink down on his chest again. She felt a little guilty at how relieved she was about this but the knot in her heart loosened at the prospect of having her partner back.

„Preschool is only a few hours a day though, is that okay?" Rick asked. That was important to him too. No matter how ready Sophie might be for school he didn't want his child to spent more time with strangers than with him.

„Yeah, of course. I wouldn't want to keep you away from Sophie that long anyway. Especially since I'm stealing your time in the evenings too" Kate told him.

„You are not stealing my time, Kate" Castle immediately protested. „But now that we are kind of talking about it anyway… Would you like to move in with me? With us?" he proposed the question he'd thought of asking ever since she'd stayed at the loft as Sophie's protective detail.

Kate stilled. She'd been tracing lazy circles with her finger on his chest. The movement halted.

„Kate?" he asked after she failed to answer.

„I don't know, Castle. Don't you think it's too soon for that?" She wasn't opposed to the idea. The contrary to be honest but she was afraid to rush anything and to screw their relationship up in the process.

„I don't think so" Castle told her, feeling that he could convince her. „You already spent a great amount of time at the loft. My mother, Alexis and Sophie see you as a family member anyway and they love you. Plus we wouldn't have to miss each other. Even when I can't make it to the precinct every day."

„But what if it gets too much? What if I suddenly can't cope with being a part of a family all the time?" Kate asked, biting her lip. „I've been living on my own for so long. I don't know if I'm ready for a full time family"

„You could keep your apartment. As a place of refuge. You can come back here when you feel like it's getting too much. But your home would be at my place. Our place" Castle suggested.

„I think, I'd like that" Kate told him, feeling almost giddy now. She was getting her partner back and she was going to move in with her boyfriend. Who would have thought that a crying fit would have such an amazing outcome?

„Great" Castle exclaimed happily, kissing the crown of her head once more, his hands resting comfortably on her back.

„How about we sleep now?" he asked. It was pretty late and Kate had to work in the morning and he had to be back home to make breakfast for his daughters. But Kate shook her head.

„I've got a better idea" and with that she rolled from his chest while pulling him with her so that he was on top of her now. She lifted her legs from the mattress, closed them in his lower back and used them to pull his hips to hers.

„Make love to me, Rick" she whispered against his lips before she kissed him. Not having to wait at all for him to respond.