Commissioned by Orcatea ( ryuucha on tumblr)

Timeline: Post-manga

Word Count: 9.8k

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Chapter 1: To Fool

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"Fool!"

Of all the things Kid dreaded to hear first thing in the morning, that particular voice from that particular individual was ranked at the very top, in close contest with 'Asura escaped his Moon prison and is wreaking havoc again'.

Taking a sharp deep breath, Kid turned around and looked down to face the source of his heart-clenching dread.

A tiny monochrome white creature with disproportionately large bulbous eyes and an elongated upturned snout 'dressed' in a top hat as tall as him and a lacy aristocratic jacket. His lower half was comprised of tiny rabbit-like legs, while his equally tiny fingerless hands wielded a white cane with deadly precision which was currently pointed inches away from Kid's face. A nonsensical form that Patty had once compared to a Pokémon.

Excalibur.

It was only his inhuman iron-like hold on his body that allowed Kid to stop himself just in time from scrunching his face into the infamous 'Excalibur grimace'. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here for your wake-up call!"

Kid paused. A wake-up call? A phrase used to alert a person to an unseen problem? Had Excalibur noticed something Kid had been missing and had come here to alert him of it? What could this issue be? Kid thought he had been keeping on top of things, but there was always the possibility he had missed something. After all, he was inexperienced, the Academy had suffered losses after the Battle at the Moon, and even with Asura sealed away there were still the occasional soul eaters roaming free and unfettered, spreading their chaos, and really, that was the whole problem everything was just so disordered-

Kid blinked and bit his tongue to focus.

No, whatever scenario Kid's paranoid mind came up with, this was Excalibur. Knowing him, the so-called Holy Sword was probably being very literal and had no idea of the metaphorical meaning.

"I don't sleep," Kid eventually replied in a forced monotone.

Well, Kid used to sleep, but he was too busy to do so now; apart from the usual administrative duties as the Headmaster of the DWMA, he now had to deal with negotiations for the Witch-DMWA peace treaty, as well as sort out the bureaucratic nightmare that was his enrolment status -Grim Reaper or not, he had technically not graduated from the Academy.

To add to all that, final exams were coming up, and Liz had committed to trying to study, dragging Patty along. The results so far were variable, but it also meant Liz and Patty couldn't help around the house as much for the time being. Kid did not mind the extra chores, as he didn't want the sisters to die from stress or from an unhealthy diet.

"In fact," Kid added in a diplomatic tone, hoping he would get a tiny opening he could use to escape this encounter, "I was just here to prepare food for Liz and Patty, so, if you'll excuse me…"

"Fool!" Excalibur exclaimed and before Kid knew it the cane was pointed at his face again -was it Kid's imagination or had it been closer this time?

Nevertheless, Kid paused again. Verbal tick or not, Excalibur did have his own reasons, however convoluted, in calling people fools. Had Excalibur truly meant something else with the phrase 'wake-up call' and called Kid a fool because of him misunderstanding it-?

"Sleep or not, a morning routine is the most important part of the day!" Excalibur continued in the same outraged tone as before.

Kid's built-up tension escaped his body with all the enthusiasm of an underpaid clown. "I've already made sure the house is clean and symmetrical-"

"Fool! That is no way to have a morning routine!" Excalibur said and Kid felt an increasing urge to grab that cane and throw it and Excalibur with it, outside of Death City. "In any case, I will sing a song to lift your spirits~"

The empty space left behind Kid's tension was now instantly replaced by suffocating dread. "No-"

"Excalibur~! Excalibur~!"

Pleasantries and politeness be damned, Kid dashed past Excalibur out of his house and made a bee-line for the Academy and the safe isolation of the Death Room.

"From the United Kingdom~!"

That cursed creature! Even when not in their presence, Kid's mind would recite that annoying song as if it was the newest catchy pop song that Liz played on repeat for weeks.

"I'm looking for Heaven~!"

As the voice grew louder, Kid got the distinct expression that this wasn't a case of his mind torturing him, but rather that the guilty party was not only following him but getting closer too.

"I'm going to California~!"

Kid turned around mid-dash to see Excalibur running after him, his small-rabbit-like legs blurred as he ran as fast, if not more so, as Kid.

"Excalibur~!"

He was getting closer!

"Excalibur~!"

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Kid entered the Death room and slid down with relief.

Thank goodness. No Excalibur here. The Death room was impassable, not us to people, but to sound light, and any other pesky annoyance if Kid wished it so.

Yes, now Kid could relax in his newly-renovated Death Room. He had made some changes by introducing an office, a chair, along with a generous amount of selves and filing cabinets where Kid would carefully store the increasing amount of paper that came his way.

Despite the changes in the central area, however, the basic layout remained the same. The mirror remained by his side, used to communicate when Kid didn't have the time to visit them personally. The office space itself was encircled by the same infinite space that surrounded father's Death Room, an endless landscape of hard sand and crooked graves, with a moving cartoony sky that looked like it was painted-on an invisible ceiling.

In any case, Kid was safe here. What a relief.

Said relief vanished when Kid opened his eyes to see the Death Room, instead of being the muted but tasteful office décor, it was now buried under garlands, flower bouquets, and streamers, all of them featuring Excalibur's face, design and physical constraints be damned.

Speak of what Kid now believed was a literal Devil, Excalibur somehow appeared beside him, eyeing this abomination of indoor-design with a tear in his eye. "I updated your décor to something more festive!"

Of all the things Kid wanted to say, there was one thought that kept reverberating in his head. "How did you even get into the Death Room without me knowing?!"

"Fool!" Excalibur replied as he pointed his cane, as always, at Kid's face. "No door has ever stopped the legendary holy sword-!"

Legendary holy sword or not, Kid still threw him out.

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As with many things in Kid's life, his graduation did not go as planned.

It all began when Kid had asked Spirit to be a witness in a quick, no-fanfare graduation ceremony that had been long overdue. As per the tradition, the DWMA's Headmaster handed each student their graduation scroll, so it looked quite comical when Kid handed his graduation scroll from his right hand to his left. Honestly, when he had decided to enrol in the Academy, Kid had expected that he would graduate quickly, his Father would hand him the scroll with a quick informal congratulations and ruffle his hair, but…

In any case, Kid needed a witness, as per the rules, so he had chosen Spirit, Father's Deathscythe and usual witness in previous ceremonies. Though Kid had expected Spirit to be a bit emotional about the ceremony, he had not expected the man to bring a camera and photograph Kid with a tear in his eye, muttering about 'they grow up so fast'. In addition, Spirit, always unhelpful, had decided it was best that this typicality included everyone in his class, most of his teachers, and lots of alcohol.

Several hours and bottles later, after Kid had put a drunk Liz and a sugar-rushed Patty to bed, he made a final check around the house with a small smile on his face. Formality or not, Kid did enjoy the small impromptu party. He probably wouldn't enjoy with the clean-up, noise complaints, and hungover staff tomorrow morning, but such was life.

Something soft landed in the back of the head. Kid caught it and brought it forward only to see the offending object was a gym uniform. In Kid's size. In fact, it was the same one from his wardrobe.

Equal amounts of perturbed and alarmed, Kid turned around to see no one.

His alarm now replaced by a growing dread, Kid looked down only to see down and see Excalibur wearing matching clothes, with no pants as usual.

Kid silently looked at the gym clothes. Then back at Excalibur.

"Graduating is no excuse for neglecting your health!"

Despite the absurdity of the situation, Kid found himself oddly calm, like a monk facing the apocalypse. "I'm a Grim Reaper-"

"Fool!"

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"Hey," came Kim's voice as she walked inside the Death Room, her eyes quickly scanning the documents in her hand. "Got you that report about the Witch alliance you wanted…"

Kim paused as she looked up. Kid couldn't blame her, he had had the same reaction, only with a lot more screaming and cursing.

"Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way~" came a muffled voice from behind Kid as Excalibur was struggling to put up a wreath two times his size.

Kim's eyes went from Excalibur to Kid, her mouth open.

"Don't say a word," Kid cut her off with a warning tone, preventing her from making a grave mistake. "If you don't ignore him he will drag you into this."

Kim stared at Kid. Kid stared back.

Wordlessly, Kim gave him a quick nod, turned around and marched out of the Death Room.

Kid sighed. At least he had averted disaster for one person, even if it was too late for him.

As Excalibur kept singing horribly off-tune, Kid rubbed his face. A stray piece of tinsel fell out of his hair. Many more were probably still tangled up there. No matter how many Kid pulled out, he would always find new ones.

"Oh, what fun it is to have Christmas with Excalibur, hey~!" Excalibur continued, stretching and shortening the syllables in unnatural ways so they fit his horrible rendition of a Christmas carol.

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Death City during midday in summer might as well have been mistaken for a ghost town. Due to the sweltering heat and blazing sun, inhabitants had wisely chosen to stay inside. The Academy itself was closed for summer vacation, though some staff did still work, preparing next year's curriculums or performing the necessary maintenance and expansions in the old building.

The only exception was Kid, who dashed from alleyway to alleyway in a quick blink-and-you'll-miss-it way. A bag of groceries was securely fastened in his lap, occasionally shifting and giving away his location.

Eventually, Kid reached Death Manor's backdoor and let out a sigh of relief. He wasn't spotted. He wasn't followed. No Excalibur in sight.

Lately, whenever Kid went grocery shopping -or just shopping in general- Excalibur would always 'happen' to be in his way and would end up following him and being his typical annoying self. Though the experience was horrible for Kid, he couldn't help but feel worse for the poor employees and bystanders that happened to be subjected to Excalibur's presence. Just the other day when Kid had popped by the convenience store, the cashier there had been trying her hardest to be polite to the Grim Reaper but had looked like she was about to have an aneurysm from her suppressed anger and annoyance after Excalibur had called her a fool for the umpteenth time.

In any case, Excalibur hadn't shown up today. Relieved, Kid manoeuvred the overfilled bag of groceries in one hand, searched for his keys and swung the door wide open, glad that his day so far had been Excalibur free-

Excalibur was there, the bright sun casting a sharp shadow behind him.

Kid dropped his groceries.

Excalibur raised a hand, but uncharacteristically, not the one that held his cane. Instead, another object was in his hand, something that Kid, stuck between frustration and incredulity, couldn't quite process.

"Fool! You forgot the bananas!"

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Patty yawned, Kid let out a content sigh and Liz mumbled and held them closer. A small gust of cool summer wind came from the open window.

They were all lying haphazardly on the bed in Liz's room because of its large mattress. As it had been relayed to Kid by Liz, Patty had a nightmare and had headed to Liz's room, who offered to keep her sister company. However, once Patty described her nightmare, Liz had also gotten scared and so Kid had been called in so the three would have a hopefully nightmare-free sleepover. Kid wasn't sure how much of the above was true -Liz, scaredy-cat or not, didn't tend to be that scared by hearing someone else's nightmare's- and how much it was Liz coming up with an excuse for the three to have a sleepover like they had in the past, but he joined in nonetheless.

Kid eyed an alarm clock placed on a bedside table, scratched from whenever Liz got too angry at its existence. The label read 2 in the morning; a couple of hours had passed since Liz had called him. She had been the first one to sleep, occasionally mumbling or lightly snoring. Kid wasn't sure if Patty was sleeping, but she had her eyes closed and her breaths were slow and steady.

Just when Kid was about to close his eyes and get some much-needed rest, he heard the bedroom's door creak open.

An intruder? In their house? Either it was some hapless academy staff that had some urgent need to contact them -in which case it'd better be a real emergency- or a burglar or some other person with ill-intentions, in which case Kid would be dealing with a monumentally stupid individual.

Before Kid activated his Soul Perception to determine how much he should chastise the unwelcome stranger, he noticed an elongated snout poke out the door, casting a long shadow.

Excalibur.

Kid froze, unsure on what to do. He couldn't yell at him to get the hell out; he couldn't get up and throw him out either.

He was helpless.

Excalibur strolled into the room, spinning his cane with little care. "Greet-!"

Patty, eyes still closed, grabbed Excalibur by one tiny leg, swing him around like a lasso before letting go and catapulting him out of the window and over the fence, casting a wide arc.

"Fooooooooooooooool!"

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Even in the very secluded and very formal process of negotiating their peace treaty with the Witches, Kid sensed him, as he had done so at every place he had been to in the last few days.

The ominous feeling accompanied by a wave of frustration. The annoying tip-tap of his cane, a sound as unpleasant as nails on a chalkboard. The 'Fool' at the tip of his tongue.

Worst of all while the Judge Witch went on about how mutually assured cooperation was of grave importance to the Witches Council, Kid was trying very, very hard to keep a straight face as he could now also see him.

Out of the corner of his eye.

Giving him a thumbs up, somehow.

Excalibur.

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Kid thought he was safe in the DWMA's cafeteria, surrounded by hundreds of other students and staff too hungry to notice that the Grim Reaper was dining -in actuality just staring at a glass of water and occasionally glancing around him like a paranoid conspiracy theorist- alongside them.

A flash of light aimed at his direction had Kid almost jump from his place and yell out that accursed name in a tongue that would make the building shake.

Instead, Kid very calmly put aside his glass of water and stood up, an occasional twitch of his eye being the only indication of his fraying mental state. He politely excused himself as he walked against the crowd and to the gates of the cafeteria, letting out a sigh when he was away from the crowd.

Then he made a mad dash against the intruder, having pinpointed his soul the moment that flash of light went off. Part of him screamed not to, as he could see by his Soul Perception that it was him Kid was chasing, but another part was morbidly curious in why Excalibur had taken a photo of him.

Kid turned a corner and ended up in a deserted dead-end corridor that led to a few empty office spaces. Without bothering to look behind him -did he know he was being pursued?- Excalibur stopped his hop-like running and snapped the photo from his camera. He took out a book that apparently he had been storing somewhere, -Kid had learned not to rely on something as fragile as the laws of physics when around Excalibur- a glue of paint and began fumbling with them and the photo.

Kid slowly walked towards Excalibur as if he was a human approaching a starving lion. "What are you-?"

Excalibur hurrah-ed, threw the stick of glue away, and presented the book to Kid. "Ta-da~!"

There were photos of Kid he had never realised had been taken, along with a few sparse shots of the occasional Academy member and the Spartoi. All of them chronologically sorted and carefully arranged in a photo album.

Excalibur had made a fucking collage.

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It was Halloween night, and Kid was exhausted. He was already feeling sleepy even if the sun had just set and was dreading about performing the midnight ceremony for the first time without Father. There were traditions to be upheld, expectations, all while the Grim Reaper experienced the closest thing he could to sleep deprivation.

Kid needed a nap. In fact, he was in the process of getting one, as he had just arrived in Death Manor, eager to go to his old room and relax for the few free hours he had left for tonight.

Kid turned the doorknob and a wave of streamers hit him in the face.

"Surprise!"

Very slowly, Kid pulled the streamers away, face neutral at the sheer incredulity of what had happened but with resolve to make it until tonight without exploding at anyone.

Said resolve was gravely tested when the door fully opened and a large group of inappropriately-dressed people -Why was the entirety of Chupa Cabra's at his house on Halloween night?!- let out a whoop. The less that could be said about the state of the hall, covered in more streamers and wreaths and other decorations that were at minimum very improper for tonight's event, the better.

In addition to all of the above nonsense, there was the giant cake in the middle of the living room, which, like everyone else, was not supposed to be here!

"Um, Mr Holy Sword," Arisa, wearing a risqué red dress with a plunging neckline, whispered to the cake, "he's arrived-"

The top of the cake erupted with a wave of confetti and that snout appeared again, its owner waving the cane with gratuitous enthusiasm.

Excalibur.

Kid took a big calming breath and the shadows retreated back to his frame. The staff here were innocent. They had probably been dragged along this… scheme, and it would be immoral to subject them to his bubbling anger. Nonetheless…

"What," the Grim Reaper used the voice reserved for only the most despicable of soul eaters, a tone that caused any mortal to seriously doubt the life choices that lead to this encounter, "is this?"

"This is how I used to celebrate!" Excalibur exclaimed, waving his cane at his surroundings. The staff looked at each other with increasingly crest-fallen expressions. "Before any big night, one must unwind and what better way than with-!"

The Chupa Cabra's staff wisely began leaving death Manor through the backdoor.

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Today marked a year since Father's death.

A lot had happened after a year yet retelling them made it seem like barely anytime had passed. The alliance treaty with the Witches was progressing slowly but steadily. Incidences of soul-eating had dropped dramatically. Areas affected from the Madness were recovering and rebuilding. Overall, Kid could only hope he had done a good job.

Kid had taken the day off, and was currently at the very back of the Death Room, standing over Father's grave; a small patch of land marked by a large obelisk where Father's name was carved in various languages, human or not, along with the inscription 'Loving Father and prudent guardian' at the very bottom.

It… wasn't much of a grave, to be honest. There had been nothing left to bury. A memorial would be a more fitting description, but Kid had been the one to create it and the process had felt more like digging a grave.

There was a proposal of erecting a statue of Father but Kid had turned that down. They were Grim Reapers. Statues of them were pointless.

A presence appeared beside him. Momentarily alarmed, Kid looked down by his side to see…

Excalibur.

…How did Excalibur get in here- why was Excalibur here-?

Kid took a sharp breath and tore his gaze away from Excalibur. No, he would not react. Not today, no matter what infuriating thing Excalibur said or did. Not here.

Excalibur said nothing, however, nor did he wave his cane like an overexcited toddler. Instead, he had grasped it with both hands, silently standing by Kid and staring up at Father's grave.

In any case, Kid didn't talk either.

The two stood in silence.