I hadn't realized it, but this story is over a year old now wow! Can't believe it has been that long already. But hey, a new chapter is here!

Ch.6

The next couple of days passed and Ryuu stayed back at home. He had thoughts of going outside and finally trying to get a move on with his life, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Until he truly felt ready to go back out into the world he decided he would stay inside and find something else to occupy his mind. He knew he couldn't be too hard to do, he just had to try.

There were still plenty of things he could accomplish like trying to find more things that he could claim as his own. Likes and dislikes that he would deem different that Riku and he could truly start to define himself.

He would make his own choices and determine what he liked. He was Ryuu, not Riku. He had to keep on reminding himself of that as best as he could. There were still many times throughout the days that he could feel those thoughts dragging him down.

Currently he was looking through an arrangement of different music CDs, all different genres. He already knew what Riku's choices in music were, and he was half tempted to listen to those just out of a natural reaction. But he knew that he couldn't… that he wouldn't. Those were Riku's choices… he needed his to be different.

After staring longer at the CDs for a few more minutes he exhaled deeply and ran a hand over his head. He pulled out the hair tie and let his hair fall down and onto his face. Giving one more exhale, he flopped back onto the couch. Once more he let his thoughts drift off, flipping back and forth on his dilemma. Just he could not get himself to stop thinking about the past… about his fake memories.

While he tried to push it all away, for some reason he began to think more about it. Not that he wanted to think about his fake memories and what it meant for him… but just how he was able to remember. He could remember nearly all of the fake memories that he had, though some felt fainter than others. But he could still recall and think about each and every one of them if he wanted to.

But there was something that always had bothered him from the start. Something that he hadn't truly considered until he was brought back. A small ping of worry twisted in his heart over the matter as soon as his thoughts dipped into it. It worried him far more than he would have wished and now he couldn't get it out of his head.

During his time that he was lost to the darkness… when he thought he would initially fade away… he had forgotten Naminé's name.

He could remember everything else about himself, from the fake memories to learning he was fake. To everything that transpired at Castle Oblivion… but her name was something he had forgotten.

In fact he hadn't been able to remember anyone's name up until he heard them. When he heard someone say the names of those he had forgotten it all came back to him, but Naminé was the last name he was able to remember. But it was forgetting Naminé's name that hurt him the most.

"How could I… Why had I forgotten her name? She was all I had, fake memories or not… she was the most important thing to me and I just lost her name…"

Ryuu groaned as he let himself go deeper and deeper into his thoughts, not even bothering to stop himself from going too far with it. It nagged him and twisted his heart to realize that he had ever let such a thing happen, even though he knew full well that it was beyond his control.

Running a hand through his hair, he pulled strains of it down over his face. He couldn't find any energy to sit back up, there was just too much weighing down on him, making his entire body feel heavy. Instead he closed his eyes and started breathing deeply, and with that he let a few tears trickle down his cheeks.

"What would she think? If she found out I forgot her name… would she be upset? No… that isn't like her. Maybe she would worry…" Ryuu sighed as slowly as he could, trying his best to not get himself too stressed over the matter. Even though he was trying to refrain from panicking, it still couldn't stop the thoughts from bombarding his mind.

"I wonder if it's just something with me… if I am just… just faulty or something."

At the mere thought of thinking 'fault' he shot up to a sitting position. "No! Stop it! Don't think that!" He yelled at himself while lightly hitting the sides of his head. "Stop thinking that… I'm done thinking about that. I… I'm not faulty."

There was a small hitch in his breathing. Something was trying to break in him, wanting to cause him more pain. He shook his head at it though, trying to bury it away so it would never come out to harm him. The last thing he wanted to do was keep dwelling on his past over and over.

He knew that he had a lot to work on and a lot to go through in his new life. He knew deep down that there was still going to be struggles. He still had not forgotten what happened the other day with meeting Selphie, Tidus and Wakka. That still lingered heavily in his mind on how it went and what kind of impression he had left on them.

"Why is this so hard…?" Ryuu muttered quietly to himself before wrapping his arms around himself. "I didn't think having my own life would mean this… this much pain. There was already enough pain before when I was fixated on being fake… now there's this…"

The more he thought the deeper he wondered. Never had he had such serious thoughts before over the matter on his memories and his life. Even now days after coming back, he still couldn't believe he had actually done it. He had been so certain at first he would fade away and leave everything behind, knowing at least Naminé would have a chance at life. In the end all he wanted was to make sure she could live and be happy.

But then Riku convinced him to come back. He came back and actually got to see Naminé who was just as joyous to see him as he was seeing her. Now he was living a life he never expected to happen and he actually had to deal with each and every emotion that came with it.

Constantly he switched back and forth over his thoughts. Mainly he was glad to actually be there, he was glad that he could actually be with Naminé and talk to her. They could finally have time to spend with one another that wasn't forced by anyone else or dealt with fake memories. From now on they could make things their own.

But then there was the other side that still reminded him about those fake memories. He knew that it couldn't just go away at this point. He couldn't just forget about it and move on, but he still was not wanting to just remove them.

Naminé had offered, but he had refused. Removing those memories was the last thing he ever wanted. Not only because he would have to have to restart, even if he wouldn't know it, and then he feared that he would no longer have any feelings for Naminé. That was what probably scared him the most.

He had come to terms that his fake memories did create the feelings for Naminé, he knew that much was obviously. But it was his own choice to act on them that made them stronger and truer and now were his own real choices and feelings.

Ryuu groaned before he crashed back down onto the couch. All of this swirled around his brain twisted and crashing into one another. It didn't make it very easy to think lightly on it and now a small headache had started to form. No matter what he did he could not just got a proper or straight coherent thought on the matter.

The sound of the front door unlock was actually enough to bring a stop to his thoughts for the time being. He stood up and headed toward the front, figuring it was Riku who had come back from his talk with Kairi.

It was Riku in fact, but there was someone else with him htat Ryuu had not expected to see. Naminé followed behind Riku and her expression lit up as soon as her eyes met with Ryuu's. On the other hand Ryuu just stared, his thoughts running up again faster than before. "What kind of timing is this? Couldn't have been at the worst time… or maybe it's something good? If I can actually talk to her about it, maybe I can get it off my chest."

"Ryuu, how are you doing today?" Naminé asked as she approached him.

"O-Oh, I'm fine, just doing things around the house and stuff," Ryuu replied quickly. He then glanced over to Riku. "So how did your talk with Kairi go?"

"It went fine… we're still trying to figure out a plan for finding Sora, but everyone is wanting to help out. I'm sure we can get something started soon enough. But hey," Riku flashed a smile. "I'll talk to you later about it, you two have fun."

Ryuu scrunched up his nose at Riku, but refrained from saying anything. As much as he wanted to argue with Riku for trying to tease him, he wasn't ready to be embarrassed any further while in front of Naminé. Though he could already hear her light giggles, but that… that was something that lightened the mood for him.

"So," Ryuu said, focusing his attention on Naminé as Riku left the room. "Is there anything that you know… you wanna do?" Despite everything, he still found himself growing more and more nervous around Naminé. He wasn't sure what to make of it though. He couldn't tell if it was good or bad and he was totally not going to ask Riku about this. He was sure he would only be teased further if he did tell him.

"Whatever is good with you. I just wanted to come and see you. Since we don't have gummi phones yet I couldn't really just call. And I thought it would be weird to ask Kairi to call Riku to try and talk to you."

It was true that the two of them did not have gummi phones yet, but they heard that Chip and Dale were working on creating more. That way everyone would have their very own soon enough. But for the time being there just was that gap in communication for them.

"I did want to try and talk to you sooner, but I thought I would let you have some time to yourself to adjust."

"I'm doing as best as I can," Ryuu said.

The two of them slowly started to walk from the front door back to where Ryuu had been sitting before. The two of them sat down next to each other before Ryuu continued. "I've just been trying to get through it all as best as I can. But what about you?"

While Ryuu knew he had his own set of problems, he always kept wondering about Naminé. She was a unique Nobody, but had suffered through the hands of the Organization and then DiZ. She had been through so much more than he could have and he honestly had no idea how much it wore on her mind. She did have similar thoughts like him? Wondering if she should have come back or not? Ryuu wasn't actually sure, but no matter the answer he was determined to be there to comfort her if she need.

"I've been doing all right. As you know I'm staying with Kairi like how you are staying with Riku. Initially Roxas had offered for me to join him in Twilight Town with Xion, Axel, and Isa, but I feel more at home here. Getting to actually be by the ocean and see it everyday is more than I ever could have imagined."

"Me too," Ryuu agreed. "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. Especially that you're here too."

Naminé smiled gently. Her hand reached out and her fingers laced with Ryuu's, causing a warm swelling feeling to enter his heart. Though right away the cruel and annoying fears and doubts decided to replace it instead.

"Ryuu? Are you okay?" Naminé asked when Ryuu turned his head away from her abruptly.

"Nothing… I mean it is something, but just a lot of things are still on my mind…"

Naminé hummed lightly before scooting a little closer to Ryuu. "Would you like to talk about it?"

"Maybe… I don't know how much it can help though."

"Well, let's try, okay?"

Ryuu breathed in. If he was really doing this, he was going to have to be strong about it. Having to admit what he feared most to who he cared about most was going to be hard. But he was going to have to try… he would try and do anything for her. For Naminé.

Just a lot of thoughts and feelings went into this chapter it seems, but I hope you guys all enjoyed! Next time is going to be some more feelings for sure!