Squidward opened his eyes.

That was his first mistake.

February 15th. He knew the day well. For years, YEARS, this was his most hated day. Annoy. Squidward. Day. Who comes up with a day like that? Oh yeah. SPONGEBOB.

Sitting up in his bed, he looked around his bedroom. Nothing so far…maybe the little moron forgot. Yes! Spongebob wasn't exactly the shiniest barnacle in the sea, maybe it just slipped his mind. If he called in sick and avoided Spongebob for the whole day, maybe he could live through today.

Hesitantly, very hesitantly, he put a tentacle on the floor…and...nothing. No trap, not loud noises, nothing.

After reaching over to his phone that was not covered in butter, he dialed the Krusty Krab. "Mr. Krabs?"

"Mr. Squidward? What are you doing calling me, you should on your way to work!" Mr. Krabs shouted through the shell-phone.

Squidward rolled his eyes. "Mr. Krabs, I can't come in today. I…I have a cold." He coughed for good measure.

After a brief pause that sent Squidward's stomach in barnacle knots, Mr. Krabs answered with a disinterested, "Fine, but be here two hours early tomorrow and stay three hours late with Spongebob, and I'm docking you're pay!"

Squidward hung up the phone just in time before letting out a huge holler of joy.

"This is it! I'm going to take this February 15th and make sure Spongebob does NOT ruin it!"

Carefully stepping over to the window, he saw Spongebob repeating, "I'm ready, I'm ready…" down the street towards the Krusty Krab. He really forgot! It was a happy year, after all!

Still making sure to take his sweet time going downstairs, he mentally figured how much time he would have while Spongbeob was at work. If he wanted to be safe and get back inside a few hours before he got home, and knocking off a bit more time to lock his house from all sides, he was sure to have at least three uninterrupted hours out–

PATRICK.

He forgot about that dimwitted Starfish! He was sure to be in on it! Despite Patrick's brain size, Squidward couldn't risk the slight chance that Patrick remembered. Well, a day indoors it is. Ugh, now he was thinking of SpongeBob's indoors song! He really had to move.

Fine. So, he would stay inside. Not a horrible fate, all things considered.

He started his day by locking the doors from every angle; inside, outside, inside the wood, under, over, and around. He lay bedrock underneath his house, and covered all windows with rubber glass. It would all be heck to take down tomorrow, but it was worth it.

"Now, time to relax."

#

Evening came, falling on the citizens of Bikini Bottom like a light sheet. "Hey, Squidward!" Spongebob called from the streets up to Squidward's house. "ARE YOU FEELING BETTER?"

Squidward muttered somewhat evilly to himself, "Oh, yeah, much better. I avoided February 15th for the first time in my life, and you didn't even remember!" Maybe those blood-shot eyes were connected to his zombie-like attitude.

"Oh, and don't forget, Squidward." SpongeBob's smile was huge, Squidward noticed, as he peeked out the window.

"Forget what, you barnacle brain?" Squidward questioned.

"Silly!" SpongeBob's words were just loud enough for his neighbor to hear through the window. "It's annoy Squidward day tomorrow! Well, Happy Valentine's Day! Your present is outside!"

If only Squidward had bothered to check the calendar that morning.

THE END (but not for Squidward! Guess who has to go in for work early tomorrow?)