Hey! For those of you who don't know me, I'm Elliot! Honestly this only started because of my roommates doing THIS EXACT THING so you can thank them and ethereal_xo (AO3) for this entire one-shot. This is honestly a lot shorter than I'm used to writing so I feel a little off posting it, but I also just want to get more used to writing short stories. I guess this is my Valentine's Day story for the year since I didn't write anything else for it so... woops. Oh well, hope you enjoy!

CW: Mild sexual content, mentions of abusive parents

Remus wasn't entirely sure how the entire thing started. It was probably something that happened by accident - actually, he was pretty sure it was in first year.

Sirius had sat on James' hand, and instead of being a normal person and asking him to move, James just muttered, "Booty," under his breath.

By seventh year, it was ingrained in every single one of the Marauders. If you touched an ass, you said, "Booty." It didn't matter whose ass. It didn't matter if it was an accident or on purpose. You said, "Booty."

It had been awkward sometimes. Remus had pulled Sirius up to the dorms early one evening before the full moon, a few weeks after they had started dating. He was always a bit more excited then.

They had kissed, and things just escalated from there until Sirius was beneath Remus without a shirt, and Remus was kissing his neck. One hand clutched Remus' hair.

Remus grazed his teeth against Sirius' throat and felt his boyfriend shiver. Sirius' free hand travelled down his back, and Remus leaned up to catch him in another rough kiss.

Sirius moaned and sucked Remus' lip between his teeth - payback. His hand reached Remus' ass, and suddenly, he pulled back to mumble, "Booty," against his lips.

Remus paused, and then rolled onto his back laughing.

Sirius cursed and sat up. "Sorry, it was instinct-"

Remus shook his head, covering his mouth with his arm to stifle his laughter. It didn't work.

Needless to say, the make-out session didn't continue.

The room was bright, but the sky outside the narrow window was grey. Typical. Remus opened his trunk and shuffled a few things around. James and Peter had already gone to breakfast. "Pads," he called over his shoulder, "did you steal my cloak again?"

"No."

Remus huffed and closed his trunk. When he turned, Sirius was still in bed. Half of the curtains of the four-poster bed weren't even drawn. "You said that last time, and then you were wearing a too-long cloak all day."

Sirius raised his gaze from whatever he was looking at. He had his knees pulled up to his chest, hiding it from view. "I don't have your cloak."

Remus huffed and leaned down to check his trunk again. "If you don't get up, they'll be out of bacon again."

"Yeah, yeah." Sirius folded a piece of parchment and set it on his bedside table. He kicked off his duvet and rolled out of the bed. He dressed in silence as Remus checked under his bed, and his trunk. Again.

"I'm calling bullshit." Remus finally decided. He turned and walked over to Sirius' side of the room. "I can't find it and it's always over here when it's missing."

"It's not here." Sirius twisted his hair into a knot and stuck his wand through it to pin it in place. He looked tired. "But check if you want."

Remus pulled Sirius' trunk open. He was careful not to mess up anything in it - Sirius was the neatest of all of them. Finally, he pulled a cloak from the middle of it with a victorious grin. "Got it!"

Sirius looked up from buttoning his shirt and his lips quirked into a small smirk. "That's my spare one."

After checking the sleeve length, Remus discovered that Sirius was right. He wanted to throw it at the smug prick, but instead, he folded it and dropped it back into his trunk. "Then where the bloody hell is mine?"

Sirius shook his head and picked up the parchment again. A letter. He'd gotten some post the previous morning but hadn't opened it at breakfast. "You could check around Prongs' bed."

Remus hummed and wandered over to James' side of the room. He hadn't even made his bed. When he managed to locate his robe - finally - beneath the bed, he pulled it out and turned to announce his victory. Then he paused.

Sirius' shoulders were hunched and his knuckles were white. The parchment crinkled between his fists. Remus climbed to his feet and moved closer to him. He see the contents of the letter - he didn't need to. All he needed was the calligraphic signature at the bottom. Walburga.

His eyebrows furrowed and he opened his mouth. Closed it. Open, closed. Then, instead of talking, Remus took a step forward, pulled back his hand, and slapped Sirius' ass. "Booty."

Sirius jumped, but a grin replaced the sullen expression on his face. "You're terrible."

"I know." Remus took the letter from Sirius, balled it up, and threw it over his shoulder. Sirius' eyes followed its path, but they returned to Remus when the latter wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's waist. "You okay?"

Sirius sighed and leaned his forehead on Remus' shoulder. "Yeah. M'fine." His family couldn't touch him anymore.

Remus gave him a small squeeze and kissed the top of his head. "Let's go get breakfast, yeah?" He murmured.

Sirius smiled and nodded. "Yeah." He let out another slow breath. "Thanks."

"No problem." Remus slowly released him. "Come on." He led the way down to the common room. As he leaned through the tiny tunnel to push the portrait doorway open, he felt a hand on his ass.

"Booty."

He snorted. Yeah. Sirius would be okay.

Hope y'all enjoyed! Please review and maybe subscribe if you liked this. I hope to see you in the future!