Every so often gods - the beings that created the universes and all the other little universes that deviated from the prime line - got rather bored. Well, less so often, and more always, a constant boredom that was always just kind of there even when they were entertained. It was during such fits of boredom that they did random things, looking down at their creation with the intent of stirring things up.

Down in Konoha, Naruto Uzumaki had just finished celebrating his twelveth birthday. Alone. As in, alone-alone. As in, no friends, no teachers, sure as hell no family, even the old man hadn't even given him his usual birthday thing. Absolutely nothing not even a drunken asshole grumbling about the Kyuubi attack threatening to kick him for whatever reason, but that didn't happen that often if anything it stopped three years ago.

It was like everybody in the world had just decided to ignore his birthday. And trying to remind people that it was his birthday was just not how it should be. Still, he would have thought Ayame and the old man would have remembered to give him his free birthday ramen. But nope, even when he dropped a hint by asking him what day it was, they just shrugged said Sunday and handed him a bill.

So he had gone the whole day without even so much as a happy birthday.

Mostly because nobody had told him that it wasn't actually his birthday. That was still nine days away. He had just misread his flip calendar.

Naturally, Naruto did the only logical thing that any emotionally mature twelve-year-old would do, and totally not cry, because he was a big boy and was going to be a ninja and neither big boys nor Ninja's cried. Which meant he was balling his fucking eyes out.

It wasn't the, tight-lipped to proud to cry, cry. No, it was the ugly emotionally devastated crying that had snot pouring down his nose and slobbering coming from his mouth like his face had decided to spring a leak, all of that was accompanied by a wailing that was halfway between screaming, and wailing. The whole event had gone on for hours, leaving him drained, feeling like he needed to puke and in need of like three days of nothing but naps, and two extra-extra-large bowls of ramen.

Better make it twenty.

So, with his normal cheerful front utterly devastated, Naruto glared up at the stars. Wondering why his life was so terrible, and Naturally, as any teenager would do, he blamed literally everything on anybody but him.

He glared up from his bed, looking out the window, which he was told had a beautiful view of Konoha looking up at the night sky. Why him? Why did he get this life? Why did everybody hate him? Why didn't he have a family? Why didn't he have friends? Why? Why? Why? Why?

Wiping the tears with his left hand and his snot with his right hand he sat up walking towards the window. Hoping for something, anything. Anger swelled inside of him and he balled his fists, grinding his teeth. Then he hiccuped, and all that anger vanished.

"I just wish I had a family," He told no one, staring at the sky, half hoping for a shooting star to cross his line of site and grant his wish. "That I had a friend, that I wasn't always so alone. I just wished that I belonged."

The glass was cool against his head. With a sigh, the tears began to fall again. It was no longer the ugly cry. It was a healthy cry that had become routine for him. Not that he'd ever done it before. Again, Ninja's so didn't cry.

"I just don't want to be alone right now."

It just so happened in one of those deviated universes mentioned about six hundred fifty words ago another Naruto that was kind of a prick was doing the exact same thing, wishing that his family, friends, and literally everybody else would just leave him alone.

It also just so happened that one of those gods things was watching them both while eating a giant bowl of cosmic cereal shrugged, and said. "Ehh, fuck it."

XXXX

"Naruto!"

His door was kicked open and he all but shot out of his bed at the sudden noise. He went from sleep to five hours awake having a heart attack in the time it took to shout his name.

An absolutely crazy looking woman, with hair so red he wondered if it was either blood or on fire. Maybe even blood on fire with the way it seemed to rise up like it had a mind of its own. It was also long. Her face was a mask of rage, violet eyes filled with violence. In her hand was a bowl of some mush, and a spoon pointed right at him, a large glob of mush about to fall onto the ground.

Naturally he screamed. "What? Who are you?"

"Your mother!" She shouted, moving the bowl to catch the bit of mush before it fell onto the incredibly clean floor. (had it always been so shiny?) "Now, get your ass out of bed! Sasuke's here and I'm not going to let her be late because you can't get up in the morning!"

Her posture and expression changed so fast into a cheerful smile that he wondered if he had imagined her rage. She had a beautiful smile and was actually really pretty. The kind of lady that he just wanted to do nice things for just because of how pretty she was.

"Also, your father's home for breakfast so I'm making pancakes," She showed him the mush in the bowl, there were large black chunks in there. "Almost chocolate pancakes! Your favorite!" Then she sighed eyes scanning his room, "and please, clean your room a bit? Its a mess, surely you don't want Sasuke to see it."

Without another word, the really beautiful woman closed his door by hooking her foot under it. He heard her skipping and humming down the hallway.

"What the fuck?" he didn't so much say that as much as his lips moved, and a dull "uhhhh," came out of his mouth. But that was the only question that really came to mind after seeing the woman barge in and leave like it was normal. The fuck was going on?

Where was he? Why was he here? Who was she? And what the fuck did Sasuke have to do with anything? Wait, that woman said that she was his mother? Did she mean it? Was this a dream?

Looking around his room, he began to realize several things about it. Such as that it was clean. Cleaner than he had ever had his room before with only a few dirty clothes on the floor, there was furniture there too, ninja gear as well with several photos hanging on the wall. There were also toys, posters, and a closet full of clothes.

He walked towards the photos finding the hardwood floor cold against his bare feet. He was in all of them. But he didn't remember any of these ever happening. Like, he didn't remember catching a giant fish the size of him with a blonde haired man smiling with a hand on his shoulder while a tall white-haired man frowned holding a much much smaller fish that was no bigger than a kunai. The red-haired woman was in a lot of them, the blonde man, often near her, touching her in some way, they were smiling a lot. A black haired girl was in more than a few of them, often with him looking annoyed in her general direction.

She looked kind of familiar.

One of the photos that stood out to him the most was of him and that girl, and a taller black man with the same hair color as her smiling. Well, she and the man were smiling, he was pouting, and holding up some kind of a paper.

From the looks of things. He had a family. He had friends. He had a home. He had everything he ever wanted. He pinched his cheek, just to double check that this wasn't a dream. Nope, that hurt, which meant this was very very real. A smile broke out across his face and he bit his lip to suppress some kind of response, be it crying or making some kind of an excited noise.

"I have a family, a mom and a dad?" somehow that whisper contained all of his joy and excitement. His wish came true? Why? How? What was he supposed to do? Should he tell them? What would they think? Did he replace some other Naruto? Or did they swap places maybe?

Bah, thinking about that hurt his head.

A smell came into the room, drifting, lingering, coaxing, luring him into what could only be called a state of complete and utter bliss making his whole body shiver and tingle. It was both sweet, and bitter, and completely and utterly breakfasty. Like pancakes, but better.

He always dreamed that if he had a mom then she would be the best cook in the world. But he didn't even know her name! What was he supposed to do? Did he call her mom? Was that okay? Could he tell her he loved her? Would she say it back? What about his dad? His dad was here? Was his dad a ninja?

He looked back over the photos and found his mind come to a dead stop. There was a photo of him, a younger him, much much younger. Riding on his father's shoulders while wearing the Hokage's hat.

He ran to the window, unlocking it and slamming it open to look out to Hokage mountain. He had a yard. There was an old swing set that had been converted into a training station. But more importantly there he was, on the mountain with the same stoic face as always. The Fourth Hokage.

His father.

"My dad's the Fourth Hokage?" he asked himself, his lips moved with no sound as he repeated that question or statement in his head at least three more times, taking all of his limited emotional stability to wrap his head around that fact that was now thrumming through his body. His dad was the Fourth Hokage! That was. That was just amazing! It explained so much! Why the old man never told him who his parents were! Why he didn't have parents (well why he didn't have a dad seeing as how the Fourth died to defeat the Kyuubi.)

A light knock came from the door, then before, he could so much as turn around the door opened again.

It was that black haired girl that was in the photos. To say she was pretty was an understatement, his heart all but pounded in his chest as he looked at her, the crush he got from looking at her for half a second crushed the one that he had held for Sakura for years. She wasn't just prettier than Sakura, she was way-way-way prettier than Sakura. And then there was her smile. It was. It was.

Wow.

It was the kind of smile that made him forget everything and made his face grow warm and made his own smile all that brighter. His cheeks were already hurting. He wanted to make her smile every day.

She had on a simple black dress that went to her knees, and a messenger bag hung off her shoulder. There was a hint of something in there. Something familiar. Something under all that beauty that just made him wonder.

"Guh," She rolled her eyes still smiling at him, readjusting her bag as her shoulder slumped. "Seriously? You're still in your pajamas?" She reached out to grab him by the arm, "Come on Naruto! Your mom's making us pancakes! And bacon! Let's go! I want to eat and not be late!"

She pulled him all of two steps before he looked her in the eyes and it felt a bit like another puzzle piece fell into place. His mother had called Sasuke a she. This pretty girl pulling on his arm with the very pretty and nice smile was Sasuke.

"You're Sasuke?" He asked, finding it really hard to look her in the eyes. "Right?"

"Uhh, yea!" She laughed, pulling him again. She was stronger than she looked, a lot stronger, and her hands were calloused. Her smile turned into a smirk and she raised a black eyebrow at him that nearly reached her bangs that were sweat to the side. "You're not still mad that I beat you again yesterday, are you? You know my brother is a fair judge!"

"What? No, I'm not. I don't even know what happened yesterday." He pulled his arm free from her. If for no reason than his heart couldn't take much more of her touching him. "Look, I don't even know who you are, the Sasuke I know is a boy and he's a bastard. I don't even have a mom and dad where I'm from so I'm just freaking out right now."

"Oooooh, I think I understand." She nodded to herself, one hand on her hip the other touching her chin.

He blinked, face still burning. "Wait, you do? You believe me?"

"Nope!" She popped, spinning on her foot and bolted out the door. "Miss Kushina! Naruto's in a Chuunibyou phase!"

He heard a gasp coming from his mother. "Oh no! Minato! Get Jiraiya-sensei over here stat! We need him to get Naruto interested in girls asap! Sasuke you know what to do right?"

"I'll start doubling my milk intake immediately! Ma'am!"

Uhh, what was a Chuunibyou?

AN: I saw cute fanart of a happy Road to Ninja Sasuke being cute and happy and I wanted to write a Sasuke that was cute and happy. So here I am with something that might be continued.