The Only Useful Mary-Sue
By Katharine
Disclaimer: The Lord of the Rings and all related properties are copyrights of J.R.R. Tolkien, et al. This story is written for entertainment purposes only. No infringement is intended.
Warnings: Rated G for silliness.
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She looked at him from across the table, her smooth, ivory skin turned to burnished gold in the flickering firelight. Her hair was a waterfall of shimmering color that framed her exquisite features. He could never say precisely what hue her tresses possessed; one moment, they were gold, the next, silver, and sometimes even the brilliant red of the sunrise. Her eyes were fathomless wells of amethyst, flecked with traces of emerald and gold, but they flared with crimson flames when she looked into the fire. Silver tears fountained from behind her long, lushly black eyelashes, and the glistening liquid trailed paths down past her perfectly crafted nose, splendidly high-set cheekbones, and her full, pouting lips. Those lips would drive any man to madness; scarlet and sumptuous and inviting they were, set in perfect proportion to the rest of her delicate features. Now, as she gazed at him in serene hurt, the lower lip quivered like the last flawless petal on a shattered rosebush.
"Celebrimbor, my love, why would you want to spend so much time making those silly rings, when you could be spending that time with me?"
His heart cracked apart and fell at her feet. He clasped her slender hands in his own, gently stroking the long fingers soothingly. "You're absolutely right, my heart's love," he replied softly. "I do not know what I could have been thinking."
And the room filled with the acrid scent of concept sketches dissolving into ashes, as the chief of the Gwaith-i-MÃrdain abandoned his greatest work for the love of a woman.
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Notes:
Ah, the hallmarks of a true Mary-Sue. Fully 198 out of the 261 words in this piece were used to describe the woman's stunning beauty; that's just a little more than three-quarters of the entire ficlet! OO
Disclaimer:
The Sue described in this is not based on a Sue found in an actual fic. There is no reason to report me to FFdotnet and get this ficlet kicked off the site. (This means you, whoever you are. That was uncalled for.)