Written for:

Hogwarts: Herbology
Task Two: Write about keeping a secret

Hogwarts: Fan Club
Kingsley Shacklebolt, Pillow

Hogwarts: 365 Prompts
Prompt - Wriggle

Hogwarts: Gift Tag
For Bex: KingsleyHarry, Prompt; Nightmares

Walls Tumbling Down

Kingsley's eyes popped open. His uneven breathing was harsh in the quiet of the night. He swallowed nervously, images of blood and death flashing in his mind's eye. There was movement beside him. He glanced over to see his younger lover wriggle a bit, hugging his pillow close as he made himself comfortable in the cocoon of blankets.

Harry was sleeping soundly. That didn't happen very often, and the last thing Kingsley wanted to do was disturb that. He could handle this by himself. There was no reason to add any burden to Harry's shoulders while he dealt with his own nightmares.

He slowly moved the blanket off of himself and got out of bed. He left their room and went to the kitchen. Maybe some hot tea would calm his frayed nerves.

X

Kingsley's eyes popped open. He briefly shut them again. 'Not again,' he thought. His nightmares were becoming a frequent thing. It's happened every night for almost a week.

He was so tired, but every time he managed to fall asleep, he saw the horrors of war.

While Harry was beginning to sleep sounder, Kingsley's own sleep was erratic.

He knew keeping them a secret wasn't right—Harry wouldn't want him to—but he didn't want to awaken Harry's own nightmares when they seemed to be fading finally.

He used to be an Auror. He had seen blood and death before. He could handle this himself. There was no reason to trouble Harry.

He slowly got out of bed and went to the kitchen for his hot tea. It was his new ritual when he woke up in the dark of night, even though it didn't seem to help.

X

Kingsley walked into the house. Harry was reading a Quidditch magazine, but he put it down with a smile when he saw Kingsley. "Hey."

He barely mustered a smile. "Hey."

"Hard day?" Harry asked with a frown.

"Nope. Just tons of paperwork. Some might say a Minister's job is dull. It seems to be more bureaucratic crap than anything sometimes."

"If it was just paperwork today, why do you look so tired?"

Kingsley averted his eyes as he took off his shoes. "No reason."

Harry stood up and walked over to the taller man. "Kingsley, is everything okay?"

"Of course," Kingsley said, still refusing to meet Harry's eyes.

"You know I don't believe you, right?"

Kingsley didn't answer.

"You're talented in many areas, but lying to me is not one of them."

Kingsley knew he had to get Harry's mind off of this because he was like a dog with a bone when he wanted to know something. His sixth year with Draco Malfoy proved that. He grabbed Harry's chin and pressed a hard kiss against his mouth. "I'm fine," he breathed, pressing smaller kisses along his jawline.

Harry moaned, squeezing Kingsley's biceps.

"I'm going to prove to you how fine I am," Kingsley promised, holding Harry close and devouring his lips in a heated kiss.

Harry returned the kiss with equal fervor. His lips moved downward as his hands unbuttoned Kingsley's shirt. Harry's tongue mapped out pictures on Kingsley's strong chest before latching on a nipple, sucking and biting it gently, making Kingsley groan in pleasure.

Kingsley pulled Harry's head back and pressed their lips together once again. They started making their way to the bedroom, quickly divesting themselves of all of their clothes. When they fell onto the bed, their hands and mouths were everywhere, and Harry forgot all about his initial worry where his lover was concerned.

X

Kingsley's eyes popped open. This time it was too light shaking. He squinted his eyes, feeling confused about being woken up.

He thought that maybe after three rounds of extremely satisfying sex, he'd be too tired to wake up from nightmares. He might have been right, but something woke him up.

"Kingsley?"

He turned his head and saw Harry's wide emerald eyes, illuminated by a bedside light. "Did you have a nightmare?" he whispered, already going into comfort mode as he pulled his unresisting lover into his arms.

Harry shook his head. "No. You did." It was said almost accusingly.

Kingsley swallowed nervously. "No, no I didn't.

Harry's eyes narrowed. "This is me you're talking to. I, more than anyone, know what a nightmare looks like. I stayed up, wanting to see why you've been so tired. I guess now I know. How often and how long have you been having them?"

Kingsley didn't answer.

"That's answer enough. I can't believe you didn't tell me."

"I can handle it!"

"By keeping it to yourself?" Harry whispered harshly.

"You were finally sleeping better. Are you surprised that I didn't want to take the chance of yours coming back because I told you about mine? I've seen death and fighting as an Auror. I can handle them."

Harry glared at him. He sat up and angrily crossed his arms. "Do you know why I was sleeping better? Do you know why I have more good nights than bad nights? Because of you. Because talking to you and letting you hold me after a nightmare helped. I didn't do it alone. I trusted you with them, and you helped them go away. I wish you had trusted me." He got out of bed and left the room in a huff.

Kingsley sat up. He had tried to do right by his lover but ended up feeling like the bad guy. How did that happen?

Even so, he knew Harry was right. When he first started keeping it a secret, he knew Harry wouldn't like it, but he did it anyway, trying to protect the younger man. He should have done what he told Harry to do. Talk about it.

He walked out of the bedroom and saw Harry curled up on the couch.

"I was trying to protect you."

"I don't need your protection. I need to be treated like your equal. You expect me to be honest about my nightmares. You need to be honest about yours."

"How can I make it up to you?"

Harry stared at him. "Talk to me."

Kingsley moved over the couch, and Harry straightened up. When Kingsley sat down, Harry curled into his side, wrapping his arms around Kingsley's torso. Kingsley's arm went around Harry, holding him close. "The first one I had was a memory of a Half-blood girl I found when the war first started in earnest. She couldn't have been older than fifteen. She had been brutally tortured and raped. She wasn't even recognizable. It...It was one of the more horrifying things I ever saw despite being an Auror for a few years by then." Kingsley took a shuddering breath.

Harry pressed a kiss to his chest. He rubbed his hand along Kingsley's chest. "Go on," he said soothingly.

And Kingsley did. He finally let his walls fall as he told Harry everything he saw while asleep. And it felt good to let go of his burden. And if Harry's nightmares did come back because of this, Kingsley would hold him and soothe him until they went away again.

(word count: 1,189)