"Severus, why exactly does your kitchen equipment talk?" Albus asked, looking at his friend's cutlery with wonder.

The potions professor only smirked, continuing to cut the vegetables with his knife, which was protesting loudly with every move. "I'm cooking with muggles," he said, trying not to smile.

The Headmaster seemed bewildered, and began to inspect a knife in his wrinkled hands. It looked suspiciously like a person transfigured into a knife. "Severus, you know that's not what I had in mind when I told you to try interacting with muggle culture."

Snape shrugged and added more vegetables to his boiling soup. "Well, I figured I could use some fun while making dinner," he said and began to clean his knife, which burst out into loud giggles.

"Stop it," the knife with a man's face said. "It tickles!"

Severus glared at the knife, disgusted. He broke it in half, silencing the man, and threw the two remaining parts into a garbage bin.

Albus looked at his friend, mildly alarmed. "Did you just … kill that muggle?" he asked, serious for the first time during their interaction.

Severus shrugged without any hint of emotion. "I did."

"You realize that what you just did was illegal?" Dumbledore asked. "And wrong," he added after a moment.

Snape didn't seem concerned. "And you realize that I would never stoop so low as to actually cook something myself, when I can just have the house elves do it for me?"

Albus shook his head. "You're right," the Headmaster said, and the two of them went silent.

"Merlin, I hate muggles," Severus said suddenly, throwing all of the screaming cutlery into the boiling soup. The hot liquid splashed all over the pair, carrots landing in Snape's greasy, dirty hair. The wizards didn't seem to mind.

"I like them," Dumbledore responded, looking at his friend with twinkling eyes and some soup on his forehead. "They're quite tasty."

"What?" Snape asked, his normally expressionless face now clearly in shock.

"WHAT?" Draco screamed as he woke up, sweat covering his pale face.

"Draco? What's wrong?"

Draco looked around in embarrassment, noticing that he must've woken up his roommates.

"Nothing, I just had a … nightmare," he whispered.

"A nightmare?" one of his friends asked. "What about?"

"I was … fighting a horde of zombies."

A/N: This was written for the second round of The Houses Competition, year 4.

House: Gryffindor

Year: 4

Category: Drabble

Prompt: [Action] Cooking with muggles as a witch/wizard

Word Count: 392