"What if you dated someone else?"

"What?"

"Someone else. To stop thinking about him."

"About who?" Charlie tore her eyes away from the TV screen and looked at him. They were sitting in the living room watching some made-for-TV murder mystery, which was pretty shit, but also relatively investing so they'd kept it on. They even had popcorn (Charlie's idea). It was a nice day so a lot of the others were playing outside, or they milled about the house, occasionally running in and out of the living room. Charlie therefore kept her voice low and made sure no one was listening when she started talking about Ryan's dating life. Ryan stared back at her. He knew exactly who she was talking about, and she was right. As usual. Of course he was still thinking about Thomas. He'd come so close to... well, he didn't exactly know what, but he assumed some kind of relationship.

"Why the hell would I date someone else when the whole problem in the first place is not being able to date?"

"I mean like in a... an unconventional way. And not someone from school."

"Gross."

"There must be someone else you're interested in."

Ryan unwillingly thought about it. There was one person. He wouldn't describe it as a crush as such, it wasn't that significant, but it was certainly an idea. Charlie would probably exaggerate it though, so he didn't bother telling her. He felt a little guilty since he had been keeping a lot from her lately. Naturally he hadn't mentioned his conversation with Thomas in the library, because then he'd have to talk about all the other conversations they had had, and then he'd have to tell Charlie that Thomas was bi, which wasn't his place to tell, so he'd kept his mouth shut and acted like nothing had happened. He was good as that, so it wasn't too much effort.

He decided to spend the afternoon at the skatepark. The days were getting longer and hotter, and even he was starting to feel a Iittle cooped up in his bedroom. He was still keen to be left alone though, so the skatepark was his best option. All of the Ashdene Ridge residents used the park, but none of them could skate like he could so they didn't stay long, and it wasn't often that he bumped into them. And even if he did, he just found somewhere else to go and waited until they left.

As he walked, he thought about what Charlie had said and surprisingly didn't outright reject the idea of hooking up with another guy. Someone easier, someone he knew wouldn't reject him, or at least he hoped he wouldn't get rejected. He'd had too much of that lately and he certainly wasn't keen for more.

The guy he was thinking about was called Lucas. Ryan had first met Lucas two years ago when he was out one day with Carmen. His relationship with Carmen was rather confusing as he could never really work out whether he had a friendship with her or not, especially since her best friend was his worst enemy. And they were by no means close, in fact Ryan hadn't contacted her since she left, but they seemed to get on okay. She was certainly never mean to him, and in return he tried not to be mean to her, and it was a pretty good arrangement. Two years ago he was on bad terms with basically everyone in Ashdene Ridge, except Harry, and Charlie hadn't arrived yet, and wouldn't arrive for at least another year, so he made an effort to stay in Carmen's good books. Besides, he liked how much it annoyed Tee whenever Carmen told her to lay off him a bit.

The point was though, he and Carmen had ended up at the skatepark and she'd jokingly said that she came here sometimes to check out the hot skater guys, and then told him he should look for some cute girls ("Where there are hot guys, there are girls," she said), before pointing out one or two. Ryan had played along, but made sure he sounded unenthusiastic enough to get her to stop. She eventually did, and went back to her own search. It wasn't long before she found a guy who caught her interest. She even went so far as to go over and talk to him, and the two started chatting away, much to Ryan's annoyance. He stayed behind, seated on a bench, bored and wanting to go home. A few minutes later and he was about to get up and interrupt their conversation, but he suddenly spotted someone near to them and paused mid-decision. The boy was around his age, maybe a year older, nice brown hair and very good at skating. Ryan stared as the boy expertly grinded along one of the rails.

He was still staring when Carmen returned and of course she noticed.

"Found someone you like?" Immediately knowing she'd follow his gaze, Ryan switched it to the first girl he saw. A blonde teenager, much too old for him. Carmen laughed when she saw. "Good luck with that," she said, and indicated that they should leave, (not before showing the phone number that had been written on her hand). Ryan looked back at the boy one last time, and then tried to forget about him.

And for a while he thought he had, but then he realised that he was frequenting the skatepark much more than usual, and when he was practicing he was slightly distracted: he kept scanning the area and "casually" observing the people.

After a few weeks of this and still not coming across the boy again, he gave up, and went back to normal. Until that was, one weekend when he finally saw him again:

The boy was there when Ryan arrived at the park, this time on the ramps, and Ryan allowed himself to watch for a bit; if anyone saw, they would assume he was simply impressed with the boy's skills, which he was, but that wasn't the reason he was staring. He then told himself to stop and started practicing on the ramps himself. He had no intention of introducing himself, but he did glance over whenever he performed a trick, as if looking to see if the boy had noticed him and was watching, (and then hoping he wasn't whenever Ryan made a mistake and tripped over his own board). But Ryan must have been doing better than he'd thought because apparently the boy had been watching, and to Ryan's embarrassment, he came over.

"Hi," he greeted, his board under his arm. Ryan nodded in acknowledgment, not sure what to say since he'd temporarily been taken by surprise. "You're pretty good," the boy continued. "Do you skate often?"

"Yeah." Ryan finally found his voice, though for now it seemed restrained to only one word replies.

"I haven't seen you around here."

"Likewise." The boy smiled at him.

"I'm Lucas," he said, placing his skateboard down and putting his foot on top to keep it steady. He stared expectantly at Ryan.

"I'm- I'm Ryan." Lucas was very good looking and so it made it hard to concentrate. His eyes were a shade of blue that Ryan wanted so desperately to stare at, but he was bad at eye contact at the best of times; now his only option was to look at the floor,

Lucas asked whether Ryan wanted to practice with him, and despite Ryan's intitial nervousness, it didn't take much persuading, and the two skated together for the next hour or so before one of them had to go home. Ryan also learnt a lot about Lucas. They went to different schools for starters, which was certainly a bonus, and made Ryan resume toying with the idea that maybe he and Lucas could one day be... more than friends. The school Lucas went to was on the other side of town, and he had to get the bus every morning, meaning that he didn't know any of Ryan's classmates, and Lucas's classmates didn't know them either. If anything happened between the two of them, it probably wouldn't get back to Ryan's school, which was of course his main fear.

However, Ryan never attempted to catalyse their relationship further than skateboarding companions, even when he started to gain the impression that Lucas may have also been slightly interested in him. It was only a feeling, and Ryan refused to believe it was true, but he had noticed Lucas staring at him the way Ryan sometimes did, before quickly looking away when he realised Ryan had seen. He too never made a move though, so their friendship more or less stayed the same for the next two years.

Now, however, Ryan was once again entertaining the idea of furthering their relationship, and he felt that after his relatively disastrous interactions with Thomas, asking out Lucas, or at least asking him out for a coffee or something, would be easy. And, yes perhaps it was a little hypocritical on Ryan's part considering the only apparent reason he and Thomas weren't going out already was because he didn't want a relationship while still in school. But, he thought to himself, this was different. And it wasn't just because Lucas went to a different school than him, it was also because he wasn't actually looking for Lucas to be his boyfriend, he just wanted a guy who could relieve some of the romantic frustration that Ryan was starting to feel. He was even close to resuming meeting up with guys he met online, and he sometimes regretted not going further with a few of them. Of course, boning away with a stranger in a skatepark still didn't appeal to him very much, but he needed something. And he hoped that Lucas may be able to provide that.

He already knew Lucas was gay. He wouldn't even be bothering if he didn't know. He found out about six months ago when Lucas declared he had a boyfriend, some guy who worked part time in a café, or a bookshop or... somewhere that Ryan forgot. The relationship was only brief, they barely made it two months. According to Lucas, the guy was too much of a hipster, liked soya and aromatherapy and things that most people didn't care about. And the guy was too much of a snob about them. So Lucas got bored and broke it off. But the point was, Ryan was in with a chance.

He wasn't going to make an effort this time. It wasn't worth it. Just a text would do, and if Lucas didn't agree they'd just go back to normal. Or maybe they wouldn't. Ryan didn't really care. He liked Lucas but if their friendship ended it wouldn't be much of a loss. Not to him anyway. He was so used to losing people that he was pretty much immune to the grief by now. Even if Thomas moved away and never came back it would've only taken Ryan a week or two to move on. Maybe deep down he'd be sad, but Ryan had locked that part of his emotions away long ago. His motto was that if you didn't think about it, you wouldn't feel it. And if you didn't feel it, you'd be fine. A therapist would disagree completely but... Ryan didn't care about them either. The only people in the world that he did care about was Charlie and his sister, although when it came to his sister, he wasn't very good at showing it. But if something happened to her he'd definitely be upset, he knew that. He was the first time round, especially after his mum blamed him. In fact it was probably around that time that he stopped caring. He couldn't be sure though.

Ryan clicked on his contacts and texted Lucas:

Hey you wanna meet up?

again? we already did

Not at the skatepark. You wanna get a coffee or something?

?

I'm asking you on a date.

Oh.

He didn't reply for another few seconds, and even though Ryan wasn't too worried about it, there was still that slight apprehension after asking someone out and waiting for their response. His phone chimed.

Sure okay. I'd like that.

Ryan smiled. He was quite surprised at himself for going through with it, but he was glad he did. For starters, he finally got to go on a date with a guy. So far he'd only been on dates with girls and they had been awkward as hell. His phone chimed again.

Where do u wanna meet?

Ryan thought about it. He knew it had to be a place where there was no risk that anyone he knew would see him. He thought about all the coffee shops in town.

How about Blakes? It's on Grey street, next to the bookshop.

Blake's was in a place that Ryan was fairly certain no one at Ashdene Ridge would go to because it was pretty boring. At least for them. There was a bookshop, a travel's agent and a library that frowned upon kids entering due to all the old and studious type books in it. The coffee shop was alright though, so he didn't think Lucas would care about the location.

Sounds good. Saturday alright?

Perfect. I'll meet you there at... 3?

Lucas' reply was a thumbs up emoji.

Ryan decided to tell Charlie about the date. There was no point in not and she'd be very disappointed if she found out he'd kept it a secret from her, especially after everything else he'd been hiding about him and Thomas. He told her pretty soon after Lucas' last text and she was ecstatic, as well as having about a million questions. She was surprised to find out he'd already known Lucas for two years.

"You've never mentioned him before," she said.

"He's just a guy I skate with."

"Who you've also apparently been in love with this entire time."

"I'm not in love with him. He's just a guy I wouldn't mind dating, that's all."

"Sure you say that now, but what if it becomes serious?"

"It won't." And Ryan was certain it wouldn't, but it had been playing on his mind a little. He decided his best option was just to see how it went, and he wouldn't act until it seemed like they actually were becoming serious. Which probably wouldn't even happen. Their first date could go disasterously wrong and Lucas would never want to see him again.

On Saturday, Ryan stood in his bedroom and tried to work out what to wear. Charlie was hovering behind him for "moral support" as she put it, but was more of a hindrance than a help.

"Wear nothing, he'd prefer that," she joked. Ryan completely ignored her and took out a pair of jeans, identical to the pair he already had on.

"These'll do," he said. Charlie was mortally offended.

"You can't wear jeans on a date," she proclaimed.

"I'm not taking him to the bloody opera." Ryan did try to find a smart enough shirt, and he dug out a black button-up t-shirt with a collar on it. Charlie seemed to approve.

"It's nice," she said, nodding at the shirt. "You should wear it more often."

"I literally only go to like three places, and one of them is my room. I have no use for nice shirts."

"Well, they suit you." Ryan rounded off the outfit with the smartest shoes he could find, which were basically still trainers, but overall he looked alright. Even he could admit that. Ryan looked at his watch. It was getting on around two and he thought he'd better leave now if he wanted to get there at a good time. Charlie wished him good luck and ordered that he tell her everything when he got back. Ryan reluctantly agreed.

Downstairs he was interrupted by Mike before he could even make it out the front door. Mike looked at him curiously up and down.

"Where are you going?" He questioned. Ryan tried to be vague, but not too vague so that Mike would interrogate him further.

"Just into town. I'll be back in a few hours."

"You're looking kind of dressed up. Not going on a date are you?" Mike raised his eyebrows and smirked. Ryan sighed at him.

"It's just an old shirt." Mike put his hands up in mock defence, an action that always infuriated Ryan.

"Alright, alright. Just make sure you're back by dinner and... don't do anything stupid." He walked back into the office and Ryan left the house feeling it an achievement that he'd escaped without Mike questioning him too much. Perhaps the man was starting to take it easy on him a little. It had been a while since Ryan had acted up and "schemed" against the other residents, as they liked to put it. He still didn't participate much, nor was he particularly friendly to anyone, but there had been a slight shift in hostility towards him. He was tolerated more. He assumed it was because of his relationship with Charlie, who was considered to be one of the nicest residents in Ashdene Ridge, friends with everyone etc. etc. The others must have thought that if Charlie had put up with him all this time, he couldn't have been terrible. However, they hadn't truly forgiven him for all the shit he'd pulled in the past, and he didn't blame them. Nor did he particularly care. He wasn't looking to make any more friends so it wouldn't have even made much of a difference if they wanted him dead or something. Their lives barely infiltrated his. They didn't realise how little they interested him, so he found it laughable whenever they tried to rally against him or threaten him or stand up to him. They thought they were so important, but they weren't. That being said, it did make his life easier if they didn't hate him, because then he didn't have to deal with their petty bullshit.

The cafe was pretty far into town so Ryan had to walk for about half an hour. He had his music with him and it was a nice day anyway so he wasn't complaining, though his mind was a little preoccupied on the coming events. He hoped Lucas wouldn't be late. He hated lateness but only because he always felt awkward standing around on his own; he was usually late himself most of the time, but then, that was understandable since it took him ages just to motivate himself to move anywhere. He also hoped they'd have something to talk about, because the only thing worse than awkward silences with yourself was awkward silences with someone else. In fact, he really wasn't keen on this whole dating business anyway. If it was up to him he'd just text any prospective love interest for as long as it took for the two of them to spark up enough romantic interest so they could eventually meet up and get straight to the kissing. Or more. Dates just caused room for embarrassment and Ryan did not have time for that.

He reached the cafe at about ten to three and quickly ordered a coffee so he could sit down. He wanted to sit in the furthest corner possible, but then he worried that Lucas wouldn't be able to find him so he compromised and went for a seat near the back wall but still in full view of the door on the opposite side. Ryan sat there sipping his drink and staring at his phone, looking up at the door every time it opened.

At five minutes past, when Ryan had already started to assume the worst and was all ready to leave before it became obvious he'd been stood up (a great fear of his), the door opened again and in walked Lucas. Ryan breathed a small sigh of relief and tried to catch Lucas' eye. The boy saw him, smiled and wandered over.

"Hey," greeted Lucas, sitting down opposite. "Sorry I'm late."

"Only by five minutes, you're good."

As far as dates go (not that Ryan could really compare), this one had gone quite well. They had plenty to talk about; Lucas had a bunch of questions since he was still surprised at finding out that Ryan liked him. He wanted to know how long for. Ryan lied and said a few months, thinking that the true answer of "since we met two years ago" was a little intimidating. Besides, it wasn't a full lie: he had been attracted to Lucas since the first day, but it didn't develop into an actual crush until later. Not like with Thomas...

He'd thought about Thomas more times than he wanted to admit throughout the date, probably because it was Thomas with whom he really wanted to be sitting across from, sharing a coffee. But at the same time he genuinely did like Lucas as well, so really he spent the next two or so hours confused as hell.

When the date ended, the two departed separately but pleasantly, and they even arranged to get together again sometime. To Ryan, this sounded like a lie; something you say just to be polite, so he assumed that despite the relative success of the date, there wasn't enough spark between them to further things, and their relationship would probably go back to more or less how it was.

So it was rather unexpected when they found themselves texting each other a lot more than normal.

Over the next few weeks they grew somewhat closer, despite not actually having met up again, but Ryan felt like perhaps there wasn't much romantic attraction here, and instead it was more... physical... which Ryan was perfectly okay with, because it was what he had originally wanted anyway. He supposed it could be referred to as a rebound, but was it a rebound if you never actually dated the guy you were rebounding from, and therefore have technically never broken up with? He didn't know. But the term still fitted the situation so he stuck with it.

The next time Ryan and Lucas met up it was at Lucas' house. It was empty of course, Ryan made sure of that. He had no interest in meeting anyone's parents right now. That would be way too serious, and too much effort. Ryan only agreed because an empty house, with a sofa, or a bed, would almost certainly lead to something. Besides, Lucas had a good TV, so whatever happened, at least they could watch something good together.

For some reason, Ryan found himself dressing pretty smart again, which he would later regret, but for now he was satisfied with how he looked, and he asked Charlie to cover for him, and then walked the ten minute journey to Lucas' house.

It was a nice house, fairly rich looking. It was only a little bit smaller than Ashdene Ridge, which was still impressive since Ashdene Ridge had to house a bunch of kids, whereas this house was only for one family. It was also very neat inside, which made Ryan feel slightly uneasy, simply because he'd never lived in a neat house in his life, so he wasn't used to all the order and spotlessness. But Lucas soon led him to his room, which was much more chaotic, and Ryan liked it. He'd only been here once before, just over a year ago. He didn't really know why Lucas had asked him over but they'd had an alright time anyway, mainly playing video games and watching YouTube. And as far as Ryan could see, Lucas' room had more or less stayed the same, save for a few new posters.

"Sorry it's such a mess," said Lucas, sheepishly pulling at his bedsheets to make them tidier.

"It's alright." Ryan wasn't particularly focused on the state of the bedroom. Lucas picked up a remote control from on top of his dresser.

"You wanna watch something?" He asked, indicating at the small, but still relatively fancy TV that was also balanced on top of the dresser.

"Sure." The only place to sit was the bed, except for the awkward-looking desk chair which neither of them wanted to sit on, so they settled themselves down against the wooden headboard while Lucas flicked through the channels.

They eventually found an episode of an old 90s sitcom which they found decent enough to watch. They sat quietly for about ten minutes, genuinely invested in the TV show. Soon however, their focus moved onto other things; they sat a little bit closer to each other. Ryan was slightly more impatient, but he didnt push anything. He certainly wasn't going to say anything, or make the first move. But he didn't have to, because Lucas seemed to know what he was doing. Ryan guessed that since Lucas had already had a boyfriend, he was more experienced in this area. He didn't do the cliched yawn-to-put-your-arm-around-someone's-shoulder thing, he was more subtle than that. His hand touched Ryan's, then it went to Ryan's knee and then before Ryan knew what was happening, the two were kissing each other.

Kissing Lucas was much better than kissing the guys at the skatepark. It was less messy and rushed, not to mention the general genuine attraction between the two of them. After a minute or two, the kissing predictably moved further and Lucas' hand was starting to slide underneath Ryan's shirt. Ryan didn't protest this time, and if anything he actually encouraged it. To his relief he really wanted Lucas to continue, and not just because he was desperately trying to forget Thomas. Ryan had his hand placed on Lucas' back and it was slowly sliding down to where it could get under Lucas' shirt; Ryan's own shirt had already been unbuttoned. His hand found contact with Lucas' skin and he moved it round from Lucas' back to his front. They were still kissing all the while and Ryan was very much into it. He didn't want to force anything but he was subtly encouraging Lucas to pull his shirt off, which Lucas eventually did, and soon their kissing strayed away from the lips and migrated to other areas: cheek, chin, neck. But just as they were getting into the swing of things, Lucas abruptly stopped, and pulled away wide-eyed. Ryan assumed he'd gone too far but he wasn't sure how. He wasn't doing anything that Lucas hadn't already done.

"What's wrong-"

"Shh!" Ryan looked at the boy silently but bewildered. Lucas stood up and went over to the window.

"Shit," he breathed. He turned back to Ryan. "My parents are home." Ryan groaned. He certainly didn't want to bump into Lucas' parents, and Lucas seemed to share the same thought.

"Do you want me to leave then?" Asked Ryan. Lucas nodded apologetically.

"You have to. My parents will kill me if they know I brought someone over to an empty house." He paused in thought. "You'd better go out the back."

"Is that... easy to do?"

"I mean, you'll have to jump the fence but there's an alleyway that leads to the garages. You can get out there." Ryan agreed and quickly buttoned his shirt back up before going downstairs. He went into the kitchen dining room where he knew the back doors were. Lucas followed to make sure his parents stayed out of the kitchen while Ryan escaped because they'd definitely be able to see him in the garden if they looked out of the glass doors.

Jumping the fence was easy for him and he was over in a second. He landed in the alleyway and followed it to where the garages sat. The driveway into the area led back onto the street and Ryan swiftly crossed the road as he walked past Lucas' house on the way home. His hands were stuffed into his pockets and his head was bent down towards the pavement. He felt rather unsatisfied with the day's events but he thought better than to brood over it for too long since it could have gone worse. At least he got a pretty good make out session out of it.

Once he had returned home, Ryan planned to go straight up to his room and spend the rest of the evening on his computer, but Mike caught him in the hall and told him he had a visiter.

"Who?"

"That boy Charlie was working with a few months ago."

"Thomas?"

"That's the one." Ryan looked at him, confused, but Mike didn't have any answers and simply directed him to the kitchen. Ryan went, wondering what on earth Thomas needed to see him for. Thomas was sitting at the dining table and didn't notice Ryan walking in since once again he was being ambushed by the others. Candi-Rose appeared to be flirting with him in such an unsubtle manner that all Thomas could do was laugh nervously. Ryan tried to hide his surprise at seeing him so unexpectedly, but his mind was preoccupied on the fact that his couldn't have been more typical, so he ended up greeting Thomas more abruptly than he had intended. Thomas didn't seem to notice though and very quickly stood up, clearly grateful to finally be away from Candi-Rose's incessant giggling and eye-batting.

"Hey," said Thomas. "Can we talk?" Ryan nodded without thinking, wanting to move away from the listening ears of everyone around them. Ryan led Thomas to the little alcove hidden within the trees where the bench was. Everyone sat here when they wanted to be alone, or talk privately; it was physically impossible to be seen, even from the garden, unless you knew where to look, and Ryan was sure that this was going to be a conversation he didn't want overheard. If it wasn't important, Thomas would have just texted him.

Ryan expected him to start talking immediately about why he was here, but Thomas was looking at him. More specifically, at what he was wearing.

"Why are you dressed like that?" He eventually asked. Ryan looked down at himself self-consciously.

"Like what?"

"All smart."

"It's just a shirt." And it was just a shirt. It was a nice shirt, yes, but why did Thomas care?

"Charlie said you were at the skatepark. That's not what you'd wear to the skatepark." Ryan didn't really know how to respond. He couldn't help but think Thomas was being unnecessarily picky. What did it matter what he was wearing, whether he was at the skatepark or not?

"How do you know I didn't wear it to the skatepark?"

"Because why would you? Unless you're trying to impress someone..."

"You're being weird. What did you even want to talk about?" Thomas started at him as if he wasn't going to answer, but seemed to decide better of it and moodily explained:

"I broke up with Emma." He looked down at his feet, almost angry looking. Ryan didn't say anything. He supposed he was shocked to hear the news, but then, it was just a break up. They could have broken up over anything; he didn't know why he was involved.

"Oh," was all he could really offer. "Sorry to hear that." Ryan felt a bit awkward, and Thomas wasn't saying anything, so he felt like it was kind of up to him to break the silence. "Why did you break up?" He asked.

"Oh... you know. It just, wasn't working out." Ryan was starting to get irritated. So far everything Thomas had to say didn't seem important enough for this setting. Perhaps if they were closer the whole breakup thing would initiate more of a conversation. But they weren't. So the conversation dried up pretty quickly.

"So... is that all?" Said Ryan. Thomas shook his head but refused to elaborate. Ryan sighed. "Any day now would be great-"

"Why are you lying?" Ryan stopped short. Thomas was finally looking at him.

"Lying about what?"

"About where you were."

"I was at the skatepark!"

"No you weren't, but if you're covering it up then you went somewhere you don't want me to know about." Ryan didn't like this level of interrogation, but he'd finally worked out that Thomas was onto him about Lucas. Obviously Thomas had no idea who Lucas was, but he'd guessed that there was certainly something going on with Ryan, perhaps involving someone else. And Ryan's first instinct was to completely deny anything that Thomas was suggesting, but at the same time he knew it would end up being a pain in the arse to hide it. He sighed.

"Where do you think I was?" He asked it as a genuine question, not rhetorical. Thomas took a second to answer.

"I think you were with someone." He looked at him, and for once Ryan wasn't able to bring himself to lie. He stared guiltily at the floor, though he wasn't sure why. Yes he was with someone, but surely for all Thomas knew it could've been anyone. However, the way Thomas was talking, it sounded like he'd guessed that whomever Ryan had been with was more than just someone.

"Yeah, I was with someone."

"A guy?" Ryan nodded, and Thomas nodded back as if he'd already known the answer, which, as things were going, it seemed like he did.

"You were on a date then?" He continued. Ryan awkwardly placed his hand on the back of his neck.

"I guess you could call it that."

"Well, what would you call it?"

"... a date," he conceded.

"Right." Ryan hated this. He hated being put on the spot by someone who so clearly had him figured out. He wasn't used to that; he was usually the one to catch people out and interrogate them with questions he already knew the answer to, and he was adamant that Thomas had no right to speak to him in this way.

"So what if I was on a date? I'm allowed, aren't I?" Ryan said heatedly, despite knowing full well what the problem was. He'd finally worked it out, though to an extent he'd already known the whole time what the problem was, which explained his awkwardness throughout. The problem was he was being one hell of a hypocrite. And Thomas wasted no time in letting him know.

"You were on a date with someone, even though you turned me down for the sole reason that you didn't want to date anyone." Thomas was stood up now and Ryan realised that if anyone was listening (a common occurance in this place), they'd easily be able to hear everything that was being said.

"Keep your voice down!" Ryan hissed, and despite his anger Thomas surprisingly obeyed: he continued in a near whisper.

"I was fine to give you up when I thought you just weren't ready for a relationship, and then not even a few weeks later you're already looking for one and you didn't even talk to me-"

"I wasn't looking for a relationship!" Ryan interrupted, feeling like he needed to defend himself. "I swear, I didn't want anything serious. Just because I can't have a boyfriend doesn't mean I can't be... involved with a guy, and I didn't ask you because I thought you did want something serious, and I wouldn't have been able to commit." He thought his explanation was pretty reasonable and amazingly it was the whole truth. Thomas looked a little less angry. He was fiddling with his hands and his gaze was lowered to the floor. He appeared to be searching for an answer.

"How do you know I wanted something serious?" He eventually said, and his tone of voice had completely changed. It was softer now, and Ryan wasn't expecting it, so he faltered slightly as he spoke:

"W- what do you mean?"

"You could've asked me, is what I'm saying."

"So you... don't want anything serious?"

Maybe, but... I don't really care. I'm only sixteen, how serious can it be?" He laughed nervously. Ryan wasn't sure where the conversation was leading to, but the atmosphere had shifted quite a bit and he could only assume that Thomas was starting to forgive him, if only slightly.

So you're not mad anymore?" Ryan asked hopefully.

"I am a bit but, I kinda see where you're coming from I guess... what was the guy's name?"

"Hm? Oh, uh... Lucas."

Did you kiss him?"

A little, I guess."

Right." Thomas looked like he was ready to leave, he even turned back towards the direction of the house, which worried Ryan considerably because if this was the end of the conversation then he now had no idea where their relationship stood after this. Were they friends? More than friends? Less than friends?

But it wasn't the end of the conversation. Or at least it was but... not in the way that Ryan could imagine.

Thomas turned back around, hesitated for a second, then lifted his head up slightly, and kissed him.

AN:

Fun fact: I hated this chapter. Mainly cos it was a pain in the arse to write, especially the ending, so if you think it's shit dw, I completely understand.

Also, was not intending to introduce a new OC, it just... sort of happened. Originally I was going to write a more conventional storyline, something that Justice suggested about Ryan and Thomas emailing each other, which I even started to write, but I wasn't able to get past the beginning for some reason, I just didn't know how to play it out. In fact I write like three beginnings before I settled on this one, which is why it took so long. Anyway, Lucas was really only for this chapter though he will be briefly mentioned next chapter. But I hope you like him anyway.

Hm, what else... Blake's is actually a cafe in Newcastle, I looked it up (don't tell me I don't do my research), and it is on a street called Grey's street.

I think that's it, sorry if Ryan is still a bit OOC in this chapter. I had to make him like that bc lets be real if he was completely in character these relationships would never progress.

Also, how are y'all coping with quarantine? Last time I published the coronavirus was barely a thing... how times have changed.

Aight, time to reply to your really old reviews (Again, I apologise for how long it's taken).

Dark Heart 945- Luckily, Thomas didn't cheat on Emma! I made sure of that bc I would've hated it to. Hopefully Thomas breaking up with her was good enough, and again sorry that Ryan was OOC last chapter, and probably a bit in this chapter too. It was necessary in order for the story to progress, but hopefully he'll be back to normal soon lol.

Justice 237- yeah I knew when I was writing it that reading someone's favourite books was definitely some kind of trope, but I'm glad you liked it at least! It would be great to write a scene where Thomas does the same, and maybe I'll be able to fit it in eventually, though I don't imagine Ryan has a very long list of favourite books.

Tbh, I wouldn't recommend watching film adaptations of Hornby's books, they're very rarely accurate. He's a good writer though, and has a real Ryan vibe: very much British, dry-wit humour and a lot of sarcasm. My favourite books are About A Boy and Funny Girl. In fact About A Boy has been a main influence on not only this fanfiction but my writing in general, so I owe a lot to it.

Aw, I'm glad you liked that Latin scriptures line. I'm not gonna lie even I kinda laughed at it. I'm glad I was able to add personality to it.

I love everything you described, and unfortunately I wasn't really able to do the email thing but tbh maybe I can fit it in in later chapter as their relationship progresses. We'll see. I'll definitely try my hardest to write some of those, I like the ice cream in the skatepark. Very cute.

The Emma thing was pretty hard, and honestly I'm concerned that there wasn't enough to it, just with Thomas mentioning that he broke up with her. I might be able to go into more detail, maybe Thomas explaining to Ryan more why he broke up with her, so we'll see.

Anyway, thank you so much for this review! I hope this chapter was good enough. x

CharlieSmarts12- Thank you for the review, I really liked it. Yeah, Ryan was pretty out of character but I really didn't have much choice since I couldn't think of a way to progress the relationship without Ryan being a little less... well, Ryan. But I'm glad it wasn't completely unbelievable, I mean there is certainly a caring side to Ryan. Look at that episode where he saved Harry and Finn from that foster home. He even gave Harry his jacket (a detail that killed me when I noticed it) so he can be a sweetheart when he wants to be. And it is like Ryan to do a gesture that relies on memory and luckily it wasn't too over the top which was what I was worried about. Anyway thank you again, your review was awesome!

Chantelle Briggs- hey! I'm so happy to hear you've been binging this series, I'm very grateful for that. And I'm sorry this chapter took so long to update, but I hope you enjoyed it! x

Okay, last thing: chapters will be spread out since I have GCSE exams coming up now that they've been postponed till October, so I have even less time to write now, but I'll try my best!