AN: Hey everybody! Sorry I've been silent for so long. My old computer died on me and the island I live on now doesn't have a computer store, so I had to have one shipped down. Given the pandemic everyone seems to be ordering everything, so it only just came in. Thank you all so much for being patient with me!

AN2: The snark and sass for this story is evolving more than I expected it too. I also plan badass moments I realize I might be giving him a spiderman schtick going on. Typically, joking and snarky but if he cuts the quips and gets serious then run for your balls and your life, in that order mind you.

AN3: I realize I didn't list the other main characters last chapter and I apologize. This also plays in part to the request from one reviewer wanting to turn Harry's pairing into a Harem which I won't be. The part it plays is that their requested addition (or one of them at least) was going to be paired with someone else. Harry's little adventure party, once completed, will be him using various skills of mages, warriors and rogues together; Ralof the warrior; Ingun as the alchemist rogue; and Serana as their mage. Serana and Ralof are going to the secondary pairing for this story.

The New Storm Crown

Chapter 2

"I spy with my little eye, something…annoying." Harry mused, sitting across from a rather entertaining musclebound blond in the back of a wagon, their cart shared by an extremely whine man who was apparently a horse thief and another man who was wearing so many furs Harry was surprised that it hadn't summoned PETA through time and space to start ranting.

"A violent imperial captain?" Harry's new friend, Ralof, snickered out, every turn Harry had taken in their little game having been an insult towards the annoying woman who'd attacked him.

"Will you shut up back there!?" said annoying and violent imperial captain shouted, many of the soldiers around her stifling their own amusement.

"…I spy with my little eye, something that needs to get laid." A hard fist impacted his skull "Ow…worth it."

"If you don't stop talking, I'm going to gag you." The angry soldier snarled at him.

"Sorry honey, the whole attacking me without any reason thing is a bit of a turn off so I can't scratch that itch for-" the rest of his response was cut off as she shoved an old rag into his mouth.

"I don't think your romance will survive friend." Ralof snorted as Harry was silenced. Thankfully, Harry still had the ability to give rude hand gestures that perfectly conveyed his feelings. "That's fair."

"You're insane!" the horse thief blubbered as they passed the gates of a city that, along with the wagon and armor, showed he definitely wasn't in Kansas anymore, "Both of you!"

"We're here!" the captain shouted as the wagons rolled to a stop "Everybody off and step forward when your name gets called!" as the soldiers focused on calling out names, turns out that his new buddy was a rebel, Harry used a wandless vanishing spell to get rid of his gag and bindings, still holding his wrists together for now. Eventually, the last name on the list was called and Harry still remained by the carts.

"You!" the angry officer drew her sword again, "Why didn't you step forward when your name was called?!"

"Captain…we called every name on the list and a person stepped forward for each one. This man isn't on the list." Another soldier pointed out to the volatile commander.

"Yeah, she just found me healing my broken nose when I fell and then attacked me." Harry shrugged, putting his hands behind his head as everyone finally noticed he was no longer gagged nor restrained "Just came out of nowhere, threatened me, then had someone attack me from behind." With his hands behind his head, nobody saw the subtle movements of his fingers as he cast a simple jinx on the commander that, for the next two minutes, would keep her from lying. A spell that was made illegal in Wizarding England thanks to Lucius giving the reasoning of 'money bag' to Minister Fudge.

"You were in the area of the Stormcloak forces!" the captain snapped, her eyes showing a moment of confusion implying that hadn't been what she'd meant to say.

"Meaning you just attacked a civilian who was in the area and trying to heal themselves. Have you no shame." Harry scolded, wagging a finger at the woman, thankful he'd noticed one of the soldiers driving the wagons using magic meaning he could get away with more.

"Silence!" the commander was quite angry at having their authority questioned, rather like a female Malfoy, "Forget the list, he goes to the block!"

"No, he doesn't." the older man in the nicer armor gives the female officer a very unimpressed look while Ralof was rolling in the dirt laughing. Harry could respect a man who faced his execution laughing his ass off like a troll. "Just stand aside," the old man instructed, turning towards Harry "I'll speak with you after this is taken care of. That goes for you as well Captain." The last part was added with a look to the jinxed woman who was likely going to regret many of her life choices very soon.

"I'm going to stand by list guy." Harry nods and goes by the person who'd actually tried defending him from the angry captain lady "At least he doesn't get punchy out of nowhere."

"Unless you steal his sweet roll." Ralof commented, the look shared by the two men implying they knew each other well. Decided to avoid causing too much chaos, he didn't want to put his ass back on the currently literal chopping block after all, Harry just stood silent, using passive legilimency on those around him to try and figure out just what was going on. Overall, he decided that he really didn't like that one Imperial Captain, the Thalmor twats, Galmar Stonefist, and while he pitied the man for the whole brainwashing thing, Ulfric as he was currently an asshole. Most importantly, he acknowledged that Hadvar and Ralof both needed to either sit down over some beer, or just fight it out, but either way they needed some damn therapy and to just be friends again. Harry was halfway through trying to formulate a plan to save Ralof and instigate said therapy, one that involved four barrels of ale, a few doses of truth potion, a locked room, and a baker's dozen of rubber ducks; when the executions were interrupted by a loud angry roaring.

"…That doesn't sound good." Harry looked skyward, "Holy fuck in a bucket!" he shouted, seeing the giant black dragon with angry red eyes shooting down at them, and here he was without his blue eyes. With a boom, the massive black beast landed on a tower, roaring loud enough to actually knock people back.

"Archers, mages, fire!" the old man in the armor shouted, drawing his sword and readying a shield, never hesitating an moment as most of those in the brown armor copied him, "Protect the civilians and get them to safety!" seeing a burst of fire coming their way, Harry cast a shield, the flames swirling around it but he and the soldier with the list remained unscathed.

As the flames dissipate, Harry dropped the shield and saw the rebel leader Ulfric was not only ungagged but unbound. He barely had an instant to process this before he saw Ulfric yell as a blast of raw force shot out of the man's mouth, scattering dozens of soldiers, Thalmor, and even some non-civilians before running away, most of his soldiers taking the opportunity to scatter as well.

"You damned coward Ulfric!" Ralof, who had until now been loyal to the rebel leader, was furious as he worked to get the dragons attention, the man genuinely trying to protect the civilians.

"Those soldiers are too injured to protect the civilians!" Harry saw the men and women blasted away by Ulfric were sporting a myriad of broken limbs, no longer able to fight to protect the group they had been trying to escort out of the city.

"Ralof, with me!" the soldier with the list Harry had already shouted, drawing a sword as he ran to help the panicking people.

"On it Hadvar!" Harry's blond carriage buddy shouted, joining him as they started herding the civilians out and pulling the injured up.

"I'm coming too!" Harry joined them, using flame freezing charms and shields to protect the civilians while the older commander rallied the remaining forces that hadn't fled against the massive dragon. Thanks to years of dealing with lunatics and monsters attempting to murder him personally on a bi-weekly basis, Harry was quickly able to notice some important details about the scaly bastard they were dealing with. "It came here injured!" Harry shouted to the two warriors fighting at his side, the two working so well together that it clearly wasn't their first time.

"Then let's keep fighting!" Ralof shouted, the man showing an impressive amount of strength as he heaved a war hammer up into the dragon's chin.

"Ballista formation!" the commander shouted as the remaining forces began to get more organized now that most of the civilians were evacuated and the rebels had, for the most part, escaped execution. Harry saw several warriors with shields paired with archers and mages as they began peppering the dragon's flank.

"Raaaaaaargh!" the dragon snarled, eyes dripping with malice as it looked at them, taking to the air, "Enjoy your paltry 'victory' on this day Joor." The fact that the scaly bastard was talking was quite the surprise to everyone so at least Harry didn't feel left out, "I'll be back for you soon enough, the same with all your kind." Dripping blood, the dragon took to the skies and was soon out of range of the arrows and spells, likely heading to find a much less protected settlement to attack.

"Marcus, Cassius!" the commander wasted no time in summoning two of the soldiers, "Find horses that survived this and start tracking that thing!" I want to know exactly where it's going so we can make a plan. Go!" the two soldiers took off running while the commander gave out more orders to find what was salvageable in the city and, more importantly, find more survivors. "As for you three," the man then turned to Harry, Hadvar, and Ralof "we need to talk it would seem."