Word Count: 1008
Summary: "Missing scene" from S06E08.
Disclaimer: I don't own Brooklyn Nine-Nine or the characters.
He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. All he could think of was the words that Amy had told him. This kind of stuff has happened to literally every woman I met. That meant that things like that had happened to his oldest friend and to that friend he had made in the academy. He now wondered how much those three woman had hidden from him, wondered if anything had happened in his presence without him realizing it.
He keep tossing and turning in bed. If Amy was there, he knew she would immediately make him talk about what was going on, like she had done when he came back from prison. But she wasn't there, she was in the precinct probably working on the case. Now, with the new information he got from her, he understood why she kept working 200% more than anyone else. Even after so long she still believed she didn't deserve her promotions. It wasn't just because she was a Santiago. That was only a part of the reason.
He sat up, tired of the tossing and turning. He looked to the wall above the bed he was in. There, Jake saw the life calendar. In there he saw all the things she started to add over the years. Engagement, marriage, kids. The three that she added because of him.
Jake started to think about it. What if one day they had a daughter? What if the exact same things happened to their hypothetical daughter? What would he do if she decided to speak up, even if it was only for him?
He would be a wreck. He would freeze, even if it was only for a second, like he did when his wife told him about her experience. A parent's job is to protect their children. Just because his own father hadn't done that, didn't mean he wouldn't. It meant that he would try even hardest to make sure they would be safe. Like his mother had done for him.
He got up and started to walk to the kitchen to get a cup of water. As he walked down the corridor, he looked to the photos on the walls, of the squad, of the two of them in their wedding or at Shaw's. Just to think that only a small amount of time had passed between Amy's sexual assault and her first day in the 99, aka the day they met.
That day. Damn. Charles comment must have made her freak out so much! They didn't know, but still… Charles shouldn't have said anything. He felt sorry for her, for everything she went through every day because she was a woman.
But now a lot of things were making sense to him. The why it is so important for her to look good in front of Holt, why it's so important to her that Holt is truly mentoring her and doesn't have other ideas in mind.
He drinks the water, thinking of how many times Amy forced him to start drink more of it. Because she cares about his wellbeing. Cares about him so much that she doesn't make fun of him for believing that the poodles of grease of top of pizza would count as water.
He sighs. How much about her doesn't he know about?
How much as she hidden from him, to protect him from the reality of a world that he didn't seem to understand as great as he believed he did?
Things like that had never happened to him.
He kept thinking of when he went to jail, of how alone she must have felt. Because even though she had the squad, she didn't have him. And she trusted them all, of course she did. She trusted them with her life. But it was different. At least it felt different to him. It was different to work of a case with Charles to work a case with Amy. It was better with her. Everything was.
Except when the case involved a shooting. He hated those!
Because he was torn between being with her and getting the suspect. It wasn't that he didn't believe she could take care of herself, but he knew he a) couldn't live without her and b) would blame himself if something happened to her, something he could prevent.
He went to the couch and sat there, torn between Netflix and Die Hard. Netflix a big variety of movies and TV shows, but Die Hard meant safety and stability. It was only when he realized he would need to get up to put the CD with the movie, he just chose Netflix out of laziness. He could almost hear his mother tell him to stop being so lazy, but he just pretend not to hear.
Wrapped in a blanket that Amy had bought when they first moved in together (one that Jake said they wouldn't need, but he used ALL THE TIME!) he started to think about what he was going to watch. He saw in the continue watching queue a documentary – probably Amy was watching it. Made him think of his dadptain telling him that documentaries were important. Especially about current events.
He went to the documentary list, searching for one that was slightly interesting. When he saw feminism, he clicked on it. Made him feel informed on a topic that was clearly important – he knew that already, even before the case – and that way he could make Amy realize more than she already knew, that he cared. Because he truly did care.
And he only fell asleep when the documentary was over, in the quiet of his home, with a warm blanket that smelled like Amy on top of him.
The next day, when Amy and Jake arrived and she and Rosa were talking, and Jake said the line from the documentary, the look in Amy's eyes were enough to make him realize that even though the world wasn't perfect, he could try to make him better to some people.
The End
This episode broke my heart. So, I took a break from my writing break to write this. I'll now go back to the books. :(