Ethereal

By Slytherin Princess

Chapter One

Ministry of Magic

~Hermione Granger~

In retrospect, better decisions had been made in her life.

Most of them were made after she researched them thoroughly at the library. What didn't add up to a good decision was drinking two bottles of firewhiskey and sleeping with a friend. Now that was definitely on her list of top ten bad decisions.

In Hermione's opinion, every woman had a moment in her life where she found herself crying in a public washroom without a care in the world about who sees or hears her.

Hermione considered this her 'moment', sitting on the cover of a toilet with her feet tucked under her chin, crushed in a tiny Ministry cubicle. A wad of toilet paper clutched tightly in her shaking hands and fat tears rolling down her face as she tried to wipe them as quickly as they fell. The Ministry washroom was usually a quiet place, not that Hermione made it a point to regularly hang around long enough to make a uniformed decision.

But today, there was a constant buzz of conversation.

The Minister's secretary complained loudly about the leather on her purse being scratched by a potions intern during her transit to work, an Unspeakable shared with her friend about having a strange reaction to her birth control potion that month, and an Auror changed her clothes in the stall next to Hermione's since her pencil skirt was ripped up to her hip from a training example gone wrong.

A knock came on the stall door and Hermione tensed when a hesitant voice came through, "Are you alright, miss?"

"Oh, yes," Hermione nodded, even though she knew the woman couldn't see her, it made her feel better just to have the normalcy of conversation. "Yes, absolutely."

"It's just, well, I heard you crying when I came in." The woman explained rather awkwardly through the thin door hiding Hermione. "And I just wanted to make sure everything was alright with you, dear."

She laughed into her wad of tissues, trying to stop the nauseating feeling churning her stomach and making her want to throw up again. "This really cute guy just cancelled a date and I have been looking forward to it for weeks." she quickly fibbed.

"Well," the woman drew, "You're a strong girl, I can tell. You don't need to depend on a boy and you can't let whoever he is make you cry. Before I met my husband I dated quite a few boys and I let them make me cry too. It took a long time for me to realize that they weren't allowed to make me cry because I deserved better. You need to do the same."

"It's just-" she sniffed and wiped at her bleary eyes. "He was very sweet and I thought he really liked me."

Truthfully, Hermione didn't know why she kept up with the lie. In some ways it really did make her feel better to live in the make-believe of the situation she had created. A boy standing her up was simple, her real situation definitely was not. Maybe it was because the woman was a complete stranger and seemed to offer up decent advice, or maybe it was because she wanted someone to just talk to her.

"Sweetheart, I'm sure he really did." Hermione thought the woman sounded sincere. "Maybe something came up or perhaps he was just not worth your time in the first place. Pull yourself together and do the best for you."

"You're right," Hermione tossed the tissues in the wastebasket before standing.

When she came out of the stall, the kindly woman was standing next to the sinks with an expression of pride on her face. She was middle-aged and had wisps of greying hair falling over her eyes. Hermione couldn't remember having seen her in the Ministry before but she looked like the type of person Hermione would befriend on a muggle train.

Hermione stepped up to the sink, quickly washing her hands and turning to dig through her purse for some concealer for her puffy eyes. She didn't normally carry makeup with her but after bursting into tears that morning because her oatmeal went cold before she could finish it, she had thought that maybe it was a good idea. She found the little tube and quickly patted the brush over the red bags under her bloodshot eyes.

When she looked passably human, she stuffed the makeup back into her purse and turned back to the woman watching her against the counter.

"Here you go, dear," she said as she handed Hermione a tissue for her running nose. "Are you feeling any better?"

"Yes, I think I am." Strangely, she almost meant it that time. Maybe she just needed to keep herself distracted at all times until her issue was buried so deeply in her mind that she would never remember it again. Until it became impossible to avoid it.

"Are you sure that's all that was bothering you?" Her insistent eyes were trained on her like a hawk, looking for any inconsistencies in her story. Hermione saw her eyes scan her skin, looking for any bruises or more obvious makeup. "You were in there for quite a long time."

"I suppose work stress just built on top of the ruined date." Hermione explained calmly before she shook her head at her new friend. "And Harry has been driving me up the wall, he keeps calling in sick to take care of his godson and it's a miracle that he hasn't been fired." She froze suddenly, realizing what she was doing. "I don't know why I unloaded all my problems on you. I don't even know your name."

"Rachel Perkly, it's nice to officially meet you." She held her hand to meet Rachel's and she smiled when they shook on it like they weren't hanging out in the Ministry lavatory an hour past her lunch break. "You're Hermione Granger, I recognize you from your spreads in Witch Weekly. You're much prettier in person than in photograph."

"Thank you," she said sweetly. At least something had come from those vexing reporters lurking around her for weeks. "For the compliment and everything else you've done for me today. I've been having a hard time recently and you really helped me."

When they parted at the door, Hermione gave Rachel a hug. Something she really wouldn't have considered doing half an hour ago. They exchanged floo addresses and promised to have lunch soon so Rachel could check in on Hermione's fictional boyfriend problem. Hermione mentally promised herself that she would eventually tell Rachel the truth about what was making her cry in the first place.

Hermione reached her office in the Department of Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures uneventfully, feeling more relaxed than she had been before her breakdown. Her office door was slightly open and she could see the light was on inside.

For a moment she couldn't remember if she had a meeting, but when she spotted the sandy hair and nervous wringing of hands sitting in the seat in front of her desk, her shoulders slumped forward and she smiled warmly. He could often be found lingering around her office when she didn't have meetings scheduled.

"Remus, I'm sorry, I completely forgot that we had a meeting this afternoon." Hermione threw her purse on the cabinet behind her chair and sat down gently. "Can you give me a little reminder about what it's about?" she asked shyly.

"Well, we didn't but I walked Harry back from lunch and Teddy went home with Dora." Remus explained lightly and brought his briefcase from under his long legs. He dug through the front pocket before pulling out a thick packet of paper. "I thought we could go over the werewolf legislature again before it goes to the Wizengamot."

Hermione chuckled and gave him a nod, she continued to smile as he flipped to the first page. "We went over it a dozen times before we even proposed it, not to mention the other ten since it went to review. Remus, it'll be okay."

Remus' fingers scanned the points printed on the paper and he gripped the paper tightly, Hermione knew it was the most important thing to him after Teddy and Tonks. "There's been hundreds of years of hatred and oppression of werewolves, I'm scared that the law won't be passed because of an uneven vote at the Wizengamot."

Hermione reached for his hand, giving him a reassuring squeeze. "We have Sirius in the Black seat, Harry in the Potter seat, Draco in the Malfoy seat and a slew of other people who support us on the council. They're our friends and they love you, they'll fight for this legislature and for fairness. Just like me and everyone in my department." Before Remus could say anything else, she gave his hand a firm pinch with her fingers to keep him quiet. "And if it doesn't go through on the first try, we will push for it again and again."

"You've done so much for me, I know this wouldn't be happening without your help and support. I just need to go over this one more time." Remus was sheepish and he nudged the documents into her waiting hands, looking like a child on Christmas when she took them.

"One last time!" She teased. "For today."

He grinned and pointed at the clock chiming five before flicking through the first few pages. "Okay but only because we have be at the Weasley's dinner at nine. I've been meaning to ask since you came in, but what are you wearing, Mione?"

It wasn't like Remus to comment on her- or anyone else's- clothing. Hermione looked down at herself in curiosity, Hermione knew she hadn't been looking her best recently but she thought she had been doing okay. Her irregular flat shoes kept her shorter than most of the people she worked with, her pants were a size too big and sat oddly on her thighs, her blouse hung down her shoulders and sat untucked, and her robe was half buttoned.

"I got dressed quickly this morning and haven't had a chance to change." Her face lit up in a dark blush and she self consciously tugged her robe closed over her chest. "I don't have any huge meetings today so I didn't think anything of it, do I look terrible?"

"Oh no!" Remus quickly amended. "I've just never seen you look more than pristine. I thought you might be feeling unwell and you smell a little weird."

"Thank you for being worried, but I'm alright." Hermione distantly thought about Remus, werewolf with advanced senses, being around her constantly recently. Being able to see and smell things that normal witches and warlocks couldn't. That could cause a problem.

Not to mention Remus' other experience with people in her situation.

She hated lying to her friends, especially since she was always the one encouraging honesty between all of them. But the truth was she couldn't accept it herself yet, let alone involve her friends and family in the mess she'd accidentally made.

"Hey, actually, I have to go drop some documents off to another department. But I promise that we'll go over this all over again before the next council meeting." Remus gave her a look like he didn't believe her, his nostrils flaring as he inhaled deeply and Hermione pretended like she couldn't see it as she pulled out a thick manila folder from the stack behind her.

It wasn't exactly a lie, she did have paperwork to drop off at the Department of Child Services and Foster Care. She was just choosing to overlook that it wasn't due until next week. Lying to Remus was just another wrong decision on her list.

Speaking of bad decisions, the baby she hadn't told anyone about for the last two months was definitely number one on her list.

To be continued...

Care to venture a guess about who the father is?

I want to apologize for starting a new story when Mend is nowhere near finished but I couldn't get this out of my head. Since I've never been pregnant, I'm relying on Google and you guys for all pregnancy information. If any of you have been pregnant, please tell me anything about it. Sickness, pain, hormones, and pretty much anything else you can think of.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I also don't have a beta so pointing out any mistakes would be greatly appreciated. Ethereal discounts the deaths of several key characters- including, but not limited to, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Fred Weasley and Nymphadora Tonks.