I carefully sat down in the rocking chair as it made a slight creak towards my weight.

"Oh hush." I mutter.

If only the rocking chair knew that it was impolite to make a comment regarding a pregnant women weight. I settled into the chair and began to rock back and forth. Within time, I started to feel the baby in my stomach move from corner to corner as if it was swimming a marathon.

I beam. "Well hello my love."

The baby stop and began to kick excitedly at the sound of my voice. I rub small circles around the area where I felt it's movement and attempted to sing a lullaby in order to get my little one to settled down.

"Go to sleep my love." I sang. "Go to sleep. And when you wake you'll see me."

Once the baby fell asleep, I kept rocking until eventually I fell asleep along with it.

"Mom?" Alice exclaim. "Esme!"

A little startled, I jump as I slowly came back to reality. I look around the room and then down to the plate that I washing in the sink. I notice that the dish had small cracks beginning to form around the edges of the China. I sighed and loosen my grip on the plate.

"I'm sorry Alice." I spoke. "I must of doze off again."

Alice frown. "Yea longer than usual. Everything alright?"

"Everything fine." I assured.

I turn off the sink and then threw away the plate that I crack. I walk straight past Alice and into the living room where some of my other children sat on the couch while watching TV. Bella came over this afternoon in order to watch football with the boys. I had decided to prepare her a small snack since I know how much Bella truly dislikes sports. However, she does it for Edward and I think once in a while she enjoys it.

"Come on!" Emmett screech. "Pass the freakin ball!"

"Emmett! We have a guest!" I scowled.

Emmett shrug his shoulders. "Ma it's just Bella. She been over here before."

"It's okay Esme. I actually enjoy hearing Emmett scream at the television." Bella chuckled.

I sighed. "I am so thankful that you turn out to be so easy going."

"It's alright mom. I'll make sure he won't break another TV." Edward teased.

I squeezed my adopted son shoulder gently before walking up the steps to my bedroom. My husband had another hour or so until he return from work. I busied myself with finishing the rest of our packing. Every year on his birthday, we take a small trip up to my hometown in Ohio in order to celebrate. It was also an excuse for Carlisle and I to spend some much needed time together.

William James was brought into this Earth on May 7th, 1921. Oh my he had the most beautiful blue eyes and his hair color match mine. It pleased me to know that he shared no resemblance of his biological father. Besides being remarkably beautiful, William also had a gentle soul and a very soft demeanor. He barely cried and only woke up maybe two or three times during the night. He was so good at nursing and latch on well like some sort of pro. William face always lit up when I walk into the room and for the first time in years my presence had actually felt welcome.

I loved every aspect of being a mother. I loved my little baby so very much and he was practically perfect in every way possible.

However, three weeks after his birth I began to realize that William had develop a strange cough. Of course I panic as any new mother would, but all my neighbors had told me it was just a little cough and I was overreacting. I tried to let it go the best I could until one night I walk into William nursery for his routine feeding and notice that his lips were almost blue and his skin was very cold. I rushed him to the hospital and that's when the doctor told me that William had lung fever. Many years later, I had Carlisle explain to me what lung fever was exactly, however, at the time I thought it was something that would pass and with the proper medication William would recover.

I was wrong. Oh how wrong I was.

We spent only three days in the hospital when William health rapidly decline. The doctor explain to me that he was dying and there was no medication nor surgery that could save his life at that given moment of time. I remember laying my cold stiff baby on my bare chest and sobbing as I expressed all my love to him. Each time he struggled to take a breath, I could feel my heart break into a million of pieces. I rock him slowly in the rocking chair like I did all those months while I was pregnant and eventually I felt him take his final breath before he passed away.

I was so heartbroken.

I held my dead baby for hours until one of the nurses came in and practically pried him out of my arms and whisk his body away to the morgue. William death is what led to my attempted suicide which afterwards Carlisle had found me and saved my life. Although I am grateful for my husband actions, it still doesn't take the pain away from losing my son. It's been many years after William death and I am still grieving my son.

I pack the last of Carlisle shirts and zip all of our suitcases together. Afterwards, I brought down the hidden box from my closet and sat on our bed with the box in my lap. I open it slowly and sighed as I look at the last memories left from my human years. Most of the items where from what I had with my short time with William. Inside was his blanket that I knitted for him while I was pregnant. I pressed it to my nose and embrace the slight newborn smell still lingering on. I also kept a couple of his polaroids, his birth certificate, some pieces of his clothing, a stuff teddy bear my mother had bought him the day of his arrival, a hospital beanie, and of course a small scrapbook.

I laid the scrapbook down on the bed and began to open it. I ran my finger through the polaroids and trace the outline of William face in some of the photographs. I turn the page again and slightly grin at one of my favorite pictures of us. It was the day he was born and I had just delivered William. My hair was piled on the top of my head in a messy bun while my eyes were drooping down from the exhaustion of the fifteen hour birth I had endure, however, I had the biggest smile on my face as my naked baby laid on my bare chest.

"You look so beautiful." He whisper.

I chuckled a bit. "I look like a total mess."

He moved my hair to the side and kissed the scar on my neck. I shudder at his cold lips against my skin and closed my eyes for a brief moment.

"That one is my favorite." He pointed.

I open my eyes and look down at the picture of William and I on the porch swing. My parents had came down from my little hometown in order to be present for William baptism. After the ceremony, my mom insisted we take a picture so she had me sit down on the swing with William prop up on my lap. I smiled for the camera while my baby laid in my arms half awake.

"Mine too."

I turn the page again to the next set of pictures. I had taken some random polaroids of William in different types of outfits and poses. A task I enjoyed doing when he allowed it.

"That poor boy." Carlisle chuckled. "Did you ever let him sleep?"

I slightly grinned. "Sometimes."

I set the book down as we moved to the center of our bed and cuddled in each other arms. I rest my head on Carlisle chest as he stroke my curly brown hair.

"What are you thinking?" He ask.

I shrug. "Many things."

"Such as?"

"You would of been such a great daddy." I sighed.

"Really?" Carlisle said

"Really." I repeated. "You would of taken him to baseball games and read him bedtime stories each and every night. You would of also taught him how to be a good man and the right way to treat a lady."

"We could of watch endless amount of Tom and Jerry each night." Carlisle added.

I laughed. "Baby Tom and Jerry wasn't even a thing back then!"

"Oh!" Carlisle chuckled. "I'm sorry my love. But I do really enjoy Tom and Jerry."

I rolled my eyes playfully. What a goofball.

"You know." He uttered. "Although he wasn't my biological son, I would of still loved him like he was my own."

"I know."
Carlisle lean over and laid a tender kiss upon my forehead. I began to think of William and him together some more and before I even realize it.. My shoulders began to shake and I was dry sobbing into my husband neck.

"Esme!" Carlisle exclaim. "What on Earth is the matter my dear?"

I choke on my words. "I-I just miss him so much."

Carlisle held me tighter in his arms as I further explain my emotions. I confessed to him that not only did I miss William, but it also made me sad to think that him and I could never have a child together. Although I had loved William so dearly, he was technically a product of rape while Carlisle could give me a baby made purely out of our love. However, as vampires, our bodies never change and we are practically frozen in time. Carlisle and I will never get to experience the joys of becoming parents together with our own little one.

"Sweetheart." He spoke very smoothly. "I understand why you are upset, but my love we have five adopted children who cherish and adore you endlessly. We also have a lifetime together to lay in each other arms and spend it however we want. The greatest gift that life has ever given me is the gift of you my dear."

I sniffed. "Carlisle stop it before you make me start blushing!"

"Honey you can't blush." He snickered.

"Hush!"

He pressed his lips against mine and later on we made love multiple times during the night. The following day, we pack up the car and prepared to leave our children for our little getaway.

"Now please don't break anything while we're gone." I begged.

Emmett rolled his eyes. "Ma we aren't five."

"Not all of us." Jasper muttered.

Emmett playfully punch Jasper shoulder and Jasper was about to raise his own hand until Carlisle walk in.

"Boys." He warn. "Behave."

They both bowed their head in shame and look down to their shoes. Carlisle rolled his eyes, knowing what game they were trying to play, and patted each boy on the shoulder. A smirk spread across Emmett face which only worried me more.

"Relax mom." Edward said. "I'll watch after them."

I exhaled a deep breath. "Thank you son."

Edward smiled and hug me tightly. Out of the five children, I always felt closer to both Edward and Rosalie. Mostly Edward since we were good friends during my newborn years. Plus when I look at Edward he reminded me of my own son. They shared the same bronze colored hair and easy going personality. When I think of William and who he could of been, I've always hope that he would be as kind and respectful as Edward is. I think Edward takes a lot of pride in that.

"Wish him a happy birthday from his big sister please." Rosalie spoke.

"I won't be gone for long." I set my hands on her face. "We'll be back before you know it."

"Promise?"

I kissed her forehead. "Promise. Be good especially to Bella."

I let go of her face and moved on to Alice and Jasper. They both embrace me with open arms and afterwards Carlisle help me into the car. We waved goodbye to our children as we drove away and headed to Ohio.

On our way to Ohio, we made small conversation here and there. Eventually, we began to discuss what it would be like if we did have our own child.

"I want a daughter." He said.

"Really?" I was surprise. "I figure you would want a boy."

Carlisle shrug his shoulders. "If she turn out as beautiful and talented as you are, then I think I would be fine with ten girls."

"Ten!" I laughed.

"We already have five." He smirk. "What's five more?"

"True."

We dream about our daughter and what she would be like. We even pick out a name for her which we both agreed we loved Everleigh Violet Cullen. The name "Everleigh" is inherited from Carlisle mother who he never got the privilege of meeting while "Violet" was stolen from my own mother. We even nickname her "sunshine" because we already knew she would be the sunshine on our cloudy day.

"Everleigh will have your blonde hair." I commented.

"And your eyes." He added.

I smiled at the thought. "And your wisdom. She will be very intelligent like her daddy."

"But strong like her mama."

"And she'll crinkle her forehead when she thinks really hard like you do."

Carlisle chuckled. "Or she'll whine like you do when she doesn't get her way."

"I do not!" I gasp.

Carlisle laughed some more and I couldn't help but to join him. After a couple of days, we arrived in Ohio just in time for William birthday. We drove straight through the town and headed out to the graveyard which wasn't far.

I felt myself froze once we got to the cemetery. Reality started to set it and I realize once again that William was gone. Carlisle park the car to the side and held my hand as we walk to his grave. We kneel down together on the grass and sat in front of my son tomb.

"Happy birthday sweetheart." I spoke. "Daddy and I brought you some presents."

"Your siblings wanted to make sure this year was extra special." Carlisle smiled.

I beam as I open some of the presents our children pick out for William. This year Rosalie and Emmett bought him a toy car along with a small action figure to go with it. Alice and Jasper choose a beautiful chain bracelet as well as a letter Alice wrote to him like she did every year. And finally, sweet Bella help Edward in picking out the most adorable teddy bear and they even bought some roses to go with it.

"My did they spoil you this year." I teased.

Carlisle set his hand on my back. "I have one more thing."

Confused, I watch as he pulled out a small box from the inside of his coat pocket. He open the box and inside was a locket with our family crest on it.

"Mommy and daddy wanted to give you something meaningful this year." Carlisle said.

He pop open the locket and I realize that our picture was in it. I hug my husband tightly and then set the locket on top of William tomb.

"So he always has a piece of us with him." Carlisle whisper into my ear.

We sat there in each other arms for some time until the sun slowly began to fall and we decided it was time to leave. I kissed William grave and took a deep breath before stepping away.

"I love you son." I uttered. "Happy birthday sweet boy."

Carlisle place his arm around my waist and walk us back to the car. I watch William grave slowly disappear as we drove away.

"Goodbye.."

"It's a boy!" The doctor exclaim.

He placed the small baby on my chest and suddenly I felt a wave of emotions hit me all at once. The baby scream and cried until I wrap my arms around him and rub soothing circle on his back.

"Ssssh my love." I whisper. "Mama right here."

The baby slowly open his bright blue eyes and look up at me. I giggled and began to stroke his tiny nose.

"Hello my son, welcome to the world little man." I beam. "It's just you and me now."

His eyes started to droop and I held my baby while he slept peacefully in my arms.

"Go to sleep my love. Go to sleep. And when you wake.. You'll see me."