Author's Note: Sorry this chapter took so long to finish guys! I've been busy with adjusting to life at my new college and my schoolwork hasn't been helping either. Well, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Under normal circumstances, residents of the Smash Mansion always had three rules that they were always obeyed without question. These rules have been put into place by none other than Master Hand himself and have been abided by ever since the first Super Smash Bros. tournament. These rules also have been updated and expanded to accommodate the needs of the current Smash roster. They include the following:

Master Rule #1: Under no circumstances shall any of the competitors receive any form of aid during matches, nor are they allowed to use health restoring items such as potions to restore health outside of team matches or matches when items are turned on. If a competitor is unable to compete for any reason, he or she will be replaced with an understudy that will compete in his or her stead until he or she has made a complete recovery. It should also be noted that none of the competitors can sabotage each other during matches and will result in an immediate disqualification.

Master Rule #2: There are several locations outside of the mansions for contestants to explore. For instance, competitors can shop for food, water, Knick knacks, souvenirs, and other supplies at the Skyworld Supermarket located in The Clouds. If any fighter wishes to hone their skills in battle, or simply need a place to isolate themselves, places such as the Ancient Ruins or the Glacial Peak are available at any time. However, for the personal safety of the contestants, we ask that contestants do NOT travel to these locales without permission from Master Hand, Crazy Hand, or any (living) inhabitants:

Eurasia Space Colony Ruins (Contains the Zero, Sigma, and Nightmare Viruses. Considered to be highly unstable by passerby. Rumors of Dr. Wily claiming residence in the bowels of the crater run rampant).

Subspace Bomb Factory (Responsible for the mass production of Subspace Bombs used during the infamous Emissary incident).

The Ruined Zoo (Contains numerous pyramids, beasts, and leftovers of the Subspace Army. Small children should be extra wary).

Outer Heaven (A nigh impenetrable fortress that serves as a testing ground for giant bipedal mechs or "Metal Gears". The slogan: "Mother Base for Mother Race" is common in this territory).

Distortion World (A confusing anomaly created by the Pokémon, Giratina. Few have come back from this dimension alive...)

Eggman Land (The designated territory of Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik. Trespassers are said to be captured, experimented on, or stuck babysitting Orbot).

Dracula's Castle (The home of the legendary vampire Dracula and his minions. Rumors claim that on a clear night with a full moon, you can hear hushed sobs coming from the castle throne room...)

Bowser's Castle (The domain of the infamous Bowser. Also used as a kart racing track for reasons unknown. Much like Bowser himself, this location is considered intimidating yet oddly misunderstood.)

Master Rule #3: As the number of participants grows, the world created by Master Hand continues to grow as well. It is thus within reason that the Smash Mansion expand in size to accommodate our new guests. However, it is important to realize that as more worlds become intertwined and intermixed into our community, the dangers of those worlds should be taken into consideration. As such, anything that poses a major threat to the Smash Mansion, the Super Smash Bros. tournament, and its competitors will be exiled to the forbidden areas listed in Master Rule #2.

"...And that's pretty much everything you need to know about the rules around here," Lucas said as he quickly started gasping for breath. Joker, who had just put some bacon and a carton of eggs into his shopping cart, didn't seem to be paying too much attention to the PSI user. Instead, the phantom thief was prominently humming to the Wii Shop Channel theme that was playing over the speakers.

"S-so," Lucas quietly mumbled. "Do you have any questions that you want me to answer."

"H-huh?" Akira said in a barely audible whisper. "Sure, just leave everything to me Lupin."

"Uh, it's Lucas." Lucas replied as a visible drop of sweat ran down his forehead. "Besides, shouldn't you worry about the dangerous stuff that Snake wanted you to buy? You've already picked up all of the food."

"You've got a good point there…" Joker mumbled as he crossed the last of the regular items off his checklist. "That crosses off the last can of pineapples Snake wants me to buy. Maybe I should-"

A loud buzz from Joker's cell phone cut him off mid-sentence. As Joker picked up his phone to respond, he was soon met with the sound of an all too familiar voice. "Hello?" Joker asked hesitantly.

"Joker, this is Otacon. You've just arrived at Shroom Supermarket, right?" the anime-obsessed scientist asked. Judging from his more serious tone, it seems that Otacon had managed to recover from his fangasm from earlier. So that was good.

"Yeah, Lucas is accompanying me through the aisles as we speak." Joker replied. "Do you know anything about where we can find the Phazon Snake's looking for? Or the green Chaos Emerald and Bassnium?"

"Well, that's where things get tricky. You see, under normal circumstances these items would be held under lock and key in one of Crazy Hand's research facilities or in one of the storage rooms in the mansion. Tell me, did Miller inform you about this year's annual Smash and Crash Eating Competition?"

"Uh, no," Joker replied. "He never mentioned that earlier. Wait, what does that have to do with the rest of the items on Snake's list?"

"I'm getting to that! Just let me give you some context." said Otacon. "So, a day before the events of the Melee tournament, Crazy Hand randomly decided to host a hot dog eating contest where the winner would receive one or more of his special "knickknacks".

"Ok, I'm following so far…" Akira mumbled under his breath.

"As you can already guess, these precious "knickknacks" that that demented glove has lying around are some of the most powerful and valuable artifacts this side of Big Shell. Master Balls, Trophy Stands, Super Stars, Sol Emeralds, Star Rods, heck, he's even got an exact replica of Metal Gear Rey just lying around in his basement! Anyway, the competition attracts a lot of competitors, some of which we keep a very close eye on. I mean, you wouldn't want someone like King K. Rool running around with his own fleet of disposable Arwings would you?"

"Fair point." said Joker as he looked over his shoulder to make sure only Lucas was in the same aisle as him. "So, I'm guessing this is where I come in, right?"

"Precisely!" Otacon said with enthusiasm. "After all, with your recent exploits at Big Bang Burger, you'd be a natural pick for this kind of contest! Just don't get too cocky now. I heard that Donkey Kong AND King Dedede will be competing today, so you'll definitely be facing fierce competitors out there."

"W-wait a minute!" Lucas chimed in. "If it weren't for Kirby's bottomless black hole that he calls a stomach, Dedede and DK would have been at a complete stalemate the last time they entered the competition! Just thinking about it makes my stomach want to-"

"Uh, let's hold off on the details for now!" Otacon quickly added. "Besides, registration should start at the service desk in a few minutes so you'd better hurry."

Joker and Lucas quickly walked a bit to the front of the canned goods section to see a huge line forming right in front of a small customer service desk. Most of the people waiting in line looked to be either assist trophies or natives of their respective worlds with too much time on their hands. Toadette, Hammer Bro, Resetti, Silver Sonic, Elec Man, Groose, Professor Sycamore, and rounded up the bulk of the people Joker saw near the back of the line. However, as Joker observed the people near the front and middle of the line, he could slowly recognize more and more key figures entering the contest. Aside from DK and Dedede, it seemed that Lyn, Zero, Andross, Shovel Knight, and Ashley would be participating as well.

However, amongst the participants, a blue haired young man wearing a white school uniform immediately caught the Phantom Thief's attention. As if being pulled by a magnet, Joker slowly but surely made his way to the seemingly normal teenager waiting near the middle of the line. Could that be…?

"Yusuke?" Joker said in bewilderment. "What are you doing here? I thought you were back in our world." After quickly turning around, the aspiring artist smiled as he greeted his former leader.

"Ah, Joker. I was just about to go looking for you. It seems this contest is causing quite a commotion." Yusuke replies. "As for why I am here, that floating hand deity that rules this place has given us his permission to aid you in your duties for the week. I believe he was called...Minister Bland?"

"Um, it's Master Hand Yusuke." Joker quietly muttered in response. "Oh, have you met Lucas yet? He can be a bit shy, but he's been pretty helpful in telling me about the rules of this place."

"It is nice to make your acquaintance Lucas." Yusuke said as he greeted the smaller boy. "If I am not mistaken, most people refer to your world as being "retro", correct?"

"Um, I guess so?" Lucas said with a confused look in his eyes. "I mean, I heard that my spiritual successor is doing pretty well for itself lately so-"

"Splendid!" Yusuke exclaims, capturing the attention of everyone else standing in line. "In that case, I would like you to take me there at the soonest opportunity!"

Lucas, who somehow looks even more panicked than he did before, looks at Yusuke in bewilderment. "Huh!? W-why do you want go there now?"

"Ah yes, I should most likely elaborate, first shouldn't I?" Yusuke calmly replies. "Well, allow me to explain! You see, once I arrived in this world with the Thieves, I heard tell of a legendary artist and painter by the name of Vincent. It's been said that this man paints with such skill and attention to detail, that the Goddess of Light herself, Palutena, asked him to construct this very supermarket in Skyworld, as well as renovate many older buildings that were destroyed when her realm was temporarily in ruin. After parting ways with the others, I sought out this man for what seemed like months on end, scouring Glacier Peak and the Plains to find any semblance of his presence. With Futaba's assistance, it seems that rumors online say that a mysterious man with a white beard, artist's smock and paintbrush seems to be popping in and out of worlds that were the first to be represented in the Smash Bros. tournament. In other words, they are worlds that are deemed "retro" by the Smash community."

"Um, that's cool and all, but what are you going to do once you find Vincent?" Lucas asks. "I heard that he's pretty elusive you know?"

"I'm glad you asked." Yusuke calmly says as a small smirk runs across his mouth. "You see, there was another reason why I was called into this world by Master Hand. Apparently, he wants me to work with Vincent on a new piece he's been working on lately to commemorate the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate tournament. He hasn't given me any details on what it could be though. I still look forward to meeting him soon. Maybe he'll even be able to critique some of my latest work. Oh, by the way Joker…"

"Yes Yusuke?" Joker replied curiously. For some reason, Yusuke was awkwardly avoiding Joker's gaze as he looked to the floor.

"I'm afraid that the Thieves weren't the only ones assigned to assist you in your endeavors." Yusuke explained. "Igor also had a hand in trying to assist you on your errands by asking some...questionable characters to aid you. In fact, I believe that one of them should be on this very lin-"

Before Yusuke even managed to finish his sentence, a loud burst of laughter grabs the attention of nearly everyone standing in line. Standing at the very front of the registration stood a young man around Joker's age with wild red hair, a Yasoinaba uniform tied around a brown shirt and red eyes that gave the young man an intimidating, yet enthusiastic aura to him. A huge scar in the shape of an X covered the teen's face as he appeared to be conversing with a seemingly friendly conversation with King K Rool.

"Oh man, who'd think that idiotic primate would let all of his bananas get stolen by a bunch of jackass koopas! And right in the middle of the world ending to boot!" the red-haired man said gleefully. "I guess you could say he couldn't get the apPEEL of keeping them huh? Bahahahahahahaha!"

"Right you are my good sir!" K Rool bellowed as he stroked his massive belly. "Never before have I encountered a no name ruffian with such a delightful sense of humor! You really are one of a kind!"

"Heh! Not sure whether to take that as an insult or a compliment, but since you graciously took time out of your schedule to compete against that miserable monkey you call a rival then maybe you aren't as lazy as I thought!" the red haired man snarked back with a grin. "Well, as entertaining as this back and forth banter has been, I got to go meet up with this phantom thief guy soon. Apparently, I got to make sure to help him do chores or whatever. Pretty weak if you ask me, but at least it's a great source of entertainment thus far. Well, see you awhile crocodile!"

"The same goes for you as well, Sho Minazuki! But don't expect any mercy from me if we ever cross paths!" K Rool belched back at the red-haired teen. With that, the young man named Sho spun his head to look at Joker and the others.

"Well, well!" Sho bellowed as he approached Joker. "Looks if isn't Satan's favorite son himself! Huge fan of your work by the way! The world is already screwed up enough as it is without crappy politicians gumming up the works, yeah?"

"Right...so I'm assuming you're the "hired help" that Igor sent for me?" Joker asked as he awkwardly stroked his cheek.

"Wow, you catch on pretty quick!" Sho enthusiastically replied. "Yep, the one and only Sho Minazuki is here to give you a helping hand..."

"By entering the contest with me?" Joker asked. "To ensure that Joker obtains Crazy Hand's fabled "knickknacks" of legend?" Yusuke added. "And make sure that he brings them back to Snake so he can use them to go on some daring mission to save the world from Ocelot or the Patriots?" Lucas asked aloud.

"What? LAME." Sho exclaimed as he stuck his tongue out at Joker, Yusuke, and Lucas. "Why waste my time putting actual effort into this charade when I can lend my voice to the commentary table and make a mockery out of everyone else that's competing?"

Sho then pointed to a rectangular marble table with three chairs placed near the back end. On the left, Resetti could be seen tapping his fingers on the table impatiently as he waited for the competition to begin. On the right side, Knuckles' loud snores could be heard all throughout the grocery store as a small pool of drool began to pile up underneath him. "While you sit there and must endure a hell beyond imagination, I'll be sitting with the real MVPs of this contest! Look at em! Two icons in their prime! Almost makes a guy shed a tear. Any who Mr. Fancy Pants, good luck out there! God knows you'll need it!" And with that, Sho sprinted off to the commentator table to meet his idols in person, leaving Joker, Yusuke, and Lucas high and dry.

"Talk about self-absorbed…" Lucas quietly muttered to himself. "He almost reminds me of Porky."

"Tell me about it." Joker replied. "Well, as long as he doesn't cause any trouble, he should be fine."

"Next in line please!" A voice called out. Joker glanced towards the small desk to his right, noticing that he was next in line to register for the contest. "I guess I was too busy talking with Sho to notice the line." Joker thought to himself as he approached the Mii gunner who sat at the Registration desk.

"Just sign your name here please." The Mii gunner said to the masked Phantom Thief. After Joker did as the Mii had asked, he was given a small paper ticket labeled #65 and was told to take a seat at the table with the matching number. Rows of tables had been assembled for this epic occasion, with each one having a massive plate of food for each of its contestants.

"Table #4 and #6 are piled high with bananas… probably for DK and K. Rool respectively." Joker deduced. "Let's see… #16 has veggies, probably for Palutena to shove down Pit's throat, #45 is stacked with E-Tanks so I imagine Megaman's going to sit there, #59 has a tank…. moving on. Ah, here's #65!"

As Joker finally sat down at his designated table, what lay before him was a sight to behold. Though his trials at Big Bang Burger were no joke, they were trivial in comparison to the beast staring down at the phantom thief. As Joker awaits the signal, his eyes twitch in irritation at the gigantic stack of pancakes that lies before him.