Chapter 5

Bella ended up buying twelve cheeseburgers once they got to the only restaurant on the reservation – eight for Jake and four for herself – even thought it was breakfast and the waitress kept looking at her strangely. It probably had something to do with the dirt and bruises.

"I'll come fix the hole this afternoon." He said once they were done eating. "Sorry about that, by the way."

She shrugged.

"What happened after I left?" Jake asked quietly.

"Rosalie came over." Bella said.

"And?" Jake asked.

"I realized that I wanted to…" Bella trailed off.

Jake waited, looking at her expectantly.

"Hurt her." She whispered. "I realized I wanted to hurt her."

Jake didn't say anything and just pushed the rest of his milkshake over to her side of the table.

Bella collapsed onto her bed that night and slept well on into the next morning. It was a Saturday, so she didn't have to worry about making up excuses about missing school. Charlie was sitting at the kitchen table when she finally made her way downstairs.

"Hi, Dad." She said as she sat down next to him.

"Hey, kiddo." He said, looking her over. "You doin' alright?"

She sighed. "Not really."

He nodded and pushed a cup of coffee toward her.

They sat in silence and drank their coffee, and Bella had never been more thankful that Charlie wasn't a talker.

Bella didn't do much that day or the next, just laid around and slept almost the whole 48 hours. She got up to eat a few times, but thankfully Charlie let her be.

She was nervous about going back to school as she got ready on Monday morning, and she realized her hands where shaking as she was getting dressed. She sat down heavily on her bed and put her head in her hands.

She almost hurt Rosalie. The thought was going around and around her head. She looked down at her shaking hands and clenched them into fists. "No." She shook her head furiously and pushed her hands over her eyes.

It made her want to be sick. She got up and started pacing back and forth across her room. She couldn't let that happen again. She couldn't. But she also couldn't just pack up and leave. She knew she was putting the Cullen's at risk, but Bella couldn't leave her father alone. And, as much as Bella didn't want to admit it, she didn't think she could leave. Just the thought of leaving the Cullen's – leaving Rosalie – was enough to get her choking for her next breath and clutching her chest.

That wasn't an option. She would have to find something else to do.

Bella was late to school, and she only made it to her second period class right before the bell rang. She sat down at her usual spot beside Emmett, noticing that he had not looked up at her arrival, and laid her bag at her feet.

"Hey." Bella said.

"Bella." Emmett said. He wasn't looking at her.

She opened her mouth to say something else, but the teacher interrupted her as she started class. Bella waited impatiently for class to end, and when the bell rang she sighed with relief.

"So –." She turned to Emmett, but stopped speaking when she noticed that he was gone. He had jumped up almost before the bell had sounded and was out the door almost before Bella could turn her head toward him.

The same thing happened in her other classes. Alice and Jasper had started sitting across the room from their usual table, and even Edward was trying not to speak to her. He just kept shooting her sympathetic looks every now and then, but shook his head when she asked why they were ignoring her.

Her classes with Rosalie were the worst. She had missed first period, but Bella had two other classes with her.

When Bella walked into Art, her breath caught at the sight of Rosalie, still as a statue and her face as hard as stone. Alice was sitting in Bella's usual spot, so Bella sat down in Alice's.

"Hi." Bella said to them both. Alice gave her a nod, but got out her sketch pad to start doodling. Rosalie didn't move at all.

When the class ended, Bella jumped out of her seat and cornered Rosalie before she could rush out of the room. Rosalie looked at her with eyes like ice, and before Bella could say anything, Alice had grabbed her arm and pulled her far enough away so that Rosalie could rush past.

"Alice!" Bella rounded on her.

"No, Bella." Alice said. "Leave her alone." She made to leave the room, but turned her head slightly at the doorway. "I think you've made yourself perfectly clear, and now you need to leave it be." Alice turned around and walked back towards her a few steps with a pleading look on her face. "We still love you, Bella. Just give us all some space for a while, and then things can go back to normal. Rosalie doesn't want to talk right now."

"But –." Bella trailed off as Alice spun around and walked out of the room. She sat down in the chair nearest to her and put her hand over her mouth. It was trembling, and she clenched her eyes shut as she tried to calm her body down.

She felt her stomach twisting and turning on itself as bile rose up her throat. Rosalie thought she didn't want her. Rosalie didn't want to talk to her. She gasped for air and curled in on herself, placing her hands on the desk closest to her. There was a dull pain radiating throughout her body. It was different from the usual burning itch that brought on a shift – it was more like her body was turning on her, like it was rebelling against this new information.

Bella got up and walked out of school. She got in her car and drove back home, even though she still had two more class periods. Bella stumbled out of her car as soon as it was parked in her driveway, took off towards the woods beside the house, and let out a loud roar as she shifted.

Bella got worse.

As the days went on and the Cullen's still didn't talk to her, Bella stopped sleeping. She ran through the forest, running into trees and tripping over boulders as she tried to escape the pain gnawing at her. She ran deep enough into the forest one night that she met one of the wolves, and as whoever it was tried to run after her, she turned around with a growl and bared her teeth. The wolf shrunk back into the shadows with a whimper and Bella turned back to keep running. She didn't know what she was trying to find.

It felt more like she was trying to get away.

Bella woke up shivering one morning, after finally getting a few hours of sleep, and realized that she was drenched in sweat. Her skin felt like it was on fire. It took her a few minutes to have the energy to step out of bed, wrap a blanket around herself, and go downstairs.

"Hey, Dad?" She croaked as she reached the kitchen.

"Yeah?" He replied from where he was at the kitchen table. He glanced at her and then did a double take. "What's wrong, Bells?"

"I'm sick." Bella wrapped the blanket tighter around her shoulders. "Can you call the school?"

"Sure, sure." He stood up and walked over. He raised his arm as if to touch her, but ended up giving her an awkward pat on the arm. "Anything you need? Do you need to go see a doctor?"

Bella shook her head. "I'm just going to try and sleep it off." She turned around to make her way up the stairs.

"Call if you need anything." He said as she took step after trembling step up the stairs. She took a break at the top of the landing and leaned against the wall breathing hard.

She collapsed back onto her bed and wrapped herself in her blankets. They were still damp from the few hours she had slept before, but she barely paid it any mind as she closed her eyes.

Bella woke up multiple times throughout the day, each time feeling worse than the last. She picked up her phone, barely managing to hang on to it, and tried to find Jake's name in her contacts through blurry eyes.

"Bella!" Jake called through the phone as soon as he answered. "You wanna come hang out? We're making some juicy steak tonight!"

"Jake." She whispered, but before she could say anything else she was thrown into a coughing fit.

"Bella?" Jake's voice was concerned now. "What's wrong?"

"I don't – I don't know." She answered. "I can't –." She couldn't remember what she wanted to say.

"Hold on, Bella." Jake said. She heard a slamming door and an engine starting through the phone. "I'll be right there."

Bella opened her eyes and say a blurry figure standing over her.

"Bella!" Jake's voice was faint, and she couldn't seem to focus on him. She felt herself being lifted up, and she recoiled against the heat of his skin.

"Hot." She murmured as her vision went black again.

She woke up the next time to new voices talking around her.

"There's gotta be something in the legends, Billy."

A big sigh. "Are you sure it's not just some sickness?"

"Does that look like the flu to you?" Bella couldn't open her eyes. "She's never had so much as a cold all her life."

Billy's wheelchair squeaked as he rolled toward her. "Her immune system has always been impeccable."

"Well obviously not right now!" Jake was shouting. "There's something wrong!"

"Calm down, Jacob." A female's voice sounded faintly from across the room. Bella tried to move her head, but that wasn't working either. She drifted in and out of consciousness as the voices argued some more.

"Hold on." Billy said softly. "Has Bella… met someone?"

Everyone was quiet. "What do you mean?" Jake asked.

"Is she seeing anyone?" Billy asked more urgently this time. "Romantically."

Jake growled. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"So she is?" Billy asked.

"No!" Jake said furiously.

"Jacob." Billy said. "Think. I've just remembered that I heard a story – a long, long time ago – about a Nagual who had died."

"For what reason?" The female voice sounded like Leah.

There was a pause. "Their mate had rejected them." Billy said softly.

Jake growled again. "So, it's the leech's fault?" A loud crash sounded.

"Leech?" A deep voice asked from the other end of the room

"Bella's seeing a Cullen?" Billy asked, more hesitantly this time.

"No!" Jake said. "I told you, she's not seeing anyone!"

"But she intends to?"

Jake didn't say anything.

"No matter who it is," Billy said after a few moments. "If Bella doesn't get some sort of – acceptance – from them soon, she will die."

"What needs to happen?" Leah asked. "We can't just call them up, explain that Bella is a supernatural creature mated to one of them, and that we need them to come here – in enemy territory – immediately to save her life." She gave a crazed laugh. "Right?"

There was silence for a few minutes.

"Fine." Jake growled. She heard his loud stomps coming toward her. She finally started to be more aware of where she was – if she had to guess she was on his couch.

"What are you doing?" Billy asked.

"I'm taking her home."

"Jake." Leah said. "No matter your prejudices, this is Bella's life –."

"I know!" Jake snarled. "I'm taking her home and then I'm going to call the stupid leech. I'll tell her that Bella is sick and was asking for her. That's it."

"Be quick, Jake." Billy said.

Bella drifted out of consciousness again.

She woke up to a cold hand on her head.

"Bella?" Bella felt her trembling slow as she registered Rosalie's voice. She blinked her eyes open to see her beautiful, concerned face hovering over her.

"Bella." Rosalie said softly. She had one hand on Bella's head while the other was resting on the bed beside Bella. "Are you alright?"

Bella opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She resorted to faintly shaking her head as she closed her eyes against the pain it caused her.

"Okay." Rosalie breathed. "How long have you been like this? Have you seen a doctor? We need to go see my father immediately –."

Bella tried to make her stop talking by reaching up and touching her face. She shook her head again and tugged on Rosalie's arm.

"What?" Rosalie looked at her helplessly. "Isabella."

Bella tugged again on her arm, and Rosalie finally laid down gingerly next to her. She was still looking at her helplessly, with worry lines marring her face – more than Bella had ever seen before. Bella reached up one more time to touch Rosalie's face, and found herself pulled down into sleep.

Bella woke up again, what felt like hours later, to the sound of faint voices. She blearily opened her eyes, and looked around her empty room. She frowned and placed her hand on the bed next to her. It was still cool, and when Bella leaned down to smell her pillow it still smelled like Rosalie.

Bella laid back down. It wasn't a dream.

She focused on the voices coming from downstairs. Her body relaxed as she noticed that one of them was the soothing, rich female voice that she was yearning for.

"And you haven't taken her to see a doctor?" Rosalie's voice was accusatory.

"Well." Charlie said slowly. "Bella has always had odd things happening to her."

"Odd things?" Rosalie asked. "She looked like she was dying."

"Bella is more stubborn than you know." Charlie replied. "Besides, Jake came and took her to the reservation. He just brought her back yesterday – I'm sure she'll wake up today feeling better."

"Why the reservation?" Rosalie asked. "What was that supposed to do for her?"

Bella got up, grimacing at how hard it was to move her weak muscles. It was time to save Charlie from Rosalie's questioning. Bella knew that he wouldn't mean to, but it was possible that he'd let something slip to her that Bella couldn't explain away.

She walked towards the stairs slowly, noticing that the conversation had stopped downstairs. She rounded the corner of her door and gasped.

Rosalie caught her as she almost fell backwards. "Bella." She ran her eyes up and down Bella's form. "What are you doing?"

"Going downstairs." Bella said weakly.

Rosalie raised an eyebrow. "I don't think so."

Bella leaned a little bit more into her and shrugged. "I'm hungry."

"I'll bring you something."

Bella closed her eyes, feeling the coolness of Rosalie's body seep into her own. She had more energy than she had in days. She felt more like herself.

"You can shower while I get it ready." Rosalie wrinkled her nose. "You stink, Bella."

Bella widened her eyes at Rosalie and leaned down to sniff herself. She smelled like sweat and – if she tried hard enough – she could smell the muskiness that always permeated the reservation.

"I smell like dog?" Bella asked, and smiled as Rosalie's eyes widened. Bella rolled her eyes and turned around. "Fine, I'll shower."

A few minutes later Bella walked out of the bathroom in her towel, and laughed softly at the curses coming from downstairs. It smelled distinctly like burnt toast.

"Don't you laugh at me, Bella." Rosalie called from downstairs. "I haven't done this in a long time."

"Right," Bella said as she walked into her room and started pulling clothes on. "I guess you don't have many humans to feed."

Bella felt the air in her room shift, and as she turned around Rosalie was standing in her doorway with an unreadable look on her face.

"Humans?" Rosalie asked as she walked over to the bed and sat down gracefully, setting the plate down beside her.

Bella stared at her. Rosalie was looking at her with an unreadable expression and all Bella wanted to do was tell her. The secret of who she was felt like a wall between them, one that she simultaneously wanted nothing more than to tear down and also hold up with all her might.

Bella walked forward and sat down beside Rosalie, picking up a piece of burnt toast and taking a bite. "Thank you."

Rosalie was still looking at her.

"I'm feeling better now." Bella said after a few moments. "I'm sorry if I interrupted something or if I was out of line." She shifted her gaze away from Rosalie. "I guess it wasn't entirely my fault, Jake didn't have to call." The lie felt heavy on her tongue.

"You didn't interrupt anything." Rosalie said. "Bella…" She trailed off.

Bella looked up at her. She was frowning at the wall behind Bella. "I know that it might not seem like it, and that is –." She clenched her teeth. "– my fault." She moved her gaze from the wall to Bella. "But I will always answer your call."

"I'm sorry about – before." Bella blurted out. She looked down at her hands. "I – it wasn't –." Bella growled in frustration. "I didn't ask you to leave because I didn't want you here." She clenched her fists. "I asked you to leave because of me, because I don't want – me." She shook her head. "I know you don't understand, but I can't – I can't tell you right now."

Bella finally looked up at Rosalie. She was staring with an imperceptible look on her face. "I just need you to know that it wasn't you – you…" Bella trailed off. "You are perfect." She finally breathed out. "And I wish this was easier, but it's not going to be easy at all." She shook her head and laughed brokenly. "This is going to be the hardest thing I've ever done, but I want to." She looked at Rosalie pleadingly. "Please, hear me when I say that I want to. I need to."

"You want to do what, exactly?" Rosalie asked.

Bella tapped her fingers against her knee and looked away. "I want to try – this."

"This?" Rosalie raised an eyebrow. Her lip twitched slightly.

Bella shook her head and leaned forward. "Aphrodite, don't make me say it." She reached up and grabbed Rosalie's face, and smiled slightly at the utterly surprised look on Rosalie's face before leaning in and kissing her.

Rosalie was a statue for less than half a second before her arms where around Bella and she was pushing back into her. Bella felt electricity run through her whole body as they kissed, and she pulled back when her hands started trembling.

Rosalie was staring at her with half-lidded eyes. She blinked them open and reached up to trail a finger down Bella's cheek. "Someone is feeling better."

Bella smiled. "It must have something to do with the pretty blonde who visited me." Bella's stomach knotted up as she remembered what Billy had said about her sickness.

Rosalie rolled her eyes and picked up a piece of toast to hand to her. "Eat."

Bella sighed and started eating the food again, stealing glances at Rosalie who wasn't even pretending to not be staring at Bella.

Bella jumped slightly as the house phone started ringing downstairs. She moved to get up but Rosalie was gone before she could stand up. Bella rolled her eyes and tried to listen as Rosalie answered the phone.

"Swan's residence."

"How is Bella?" Jake's rough voice came through the phone.

"Better." Rosalie said. "What do you want?"

"Is she awake?" Jake asked. "I want to talk to her."

Rosalie sighed and was quiet for a few seconds. "Hold on."

She was in front of Bella before she could blink. "It's –."

"I know." Bella stood up and took a step forward, but her room started spinning and she tipped forward. Rosalie caught her and picked her up. "I can walk –." Before she could finish that sentence they were downstairs and Rosalie was setting her down in one of the kitchen chairs.

Rosalie picked up the phone and handed it to her. Bella glared at her while she answered. "Hey, Jake."

"Bella!" Jake said. Bella grimaced at the throb his loud voice caused in her head. Rosalie sat down beside her and took the hand that wasn't holding the phone. She started running her fingers over Bella's hand and she found it extremely hard to concentrate on what Jake was saying.

"– better now?"

"Umm." Bella cleared her throat. "Yeah, I'm feeling better."

"When did you wake up?" Jake asked.

"Uh." Bella said. "I was in and out of it for a while, but I woke up last night for a minute and then this morning was the first time I got out of bed."

Jake was silent for a few moments. "So, Dad was right?"

Bella didn't look at Rosalie, whose gaze she could feel on her face. "It looks like it." Bella said softly.

He heaved a big sigh. "So, I guess there's no convincing you otherwise, is there?"

"Jake…" Bella said.

"You know what?" Jake asked. "I was actually hoping that you were going to tell me you weren't any better." He was choking on his words. "I was hoping Charlie would answer the phone and tell me that nothing was working because I didn't want –." He stopped. "How sick does that make me, Bella? That I would rather you be sick that you be –." He sucked in a breath. "I'm so sorry."

"Jake." Bella said. "I –."

"No, Bella." He said. "Don't you dare apologize. We both know what this means."

"Jake, we don't know anything –."

"I'm not a fucking moron, Bella." Jake said.

"Yeah, you are sometimes." Bella said. "Stop acting like this means more than what it means. Stop acting like I have to pick sides."

"Don't you?" He asked. "They hate us. We hate them. You can't just stay in the middle. They're fucking killers, Bella –."

Rosalie went still beside her. "Jacob." Bella said. "Get over your tribe's fucking prejudices."

He laughed. "Prejudice? It's called history, Bella."

"I am not having this conversation with you again." Bella ran a hand over her eyes. "But I need you to stop acting like being a giant wolf is any better than being any other supernatural creature –."

"We're better than vampires!" He shouted through the phone. "At least I don't have to kill to survive! My hands are clean, Bella, unlike theirs – they kill all the time!"

Bella's hand started trembling. She looked at it in surprise – she had never had that happen when arguing with Jake. She took a big breath and clenched her hand into a fist. "Watch your words, Jacob." She said in a dangerous voice.

He stopped talking.

"I'm going to come over and talk to Billy in the next few days." She said. "And I don't want hear any more of this when I get there." She hung up the phone.

She sat it down on the table in front of her and turned slowly to look at Rosalie.

She hadn't moved for a while, and the table was starting to crumble where her hand had been laying – her fingers now digging into the wood.

"How long have you known?"