Harvey's not exactly sure why he had found himself calling Dr. Lipschitz for another appointment, but maybe a little piece of him wanted to prove he really was better than Louis at therapy. And maybe the therapist's words had rankled him just a bit. You have some things you could work on.

Yeah, that was no surprise. But after his last experience with therapy he hadn't exactly found himself better off, so his attitude isn't entirely optimistic. But nevertheless, here he is on this Tuesday afternoon, ducking out of the office in between client meetings to allow himself to be cross-examined. Willingly.

"Harvey, please sit down. I am so glad that you decided to come in for another session."

He takes a deep breath and settles into the couch opposite Stan.

"Why don't we begin where we left off. I believe we were talking about family."

"Anything but that," Harvey says grimly.

Dr Lipschitz smiles slowly. "I would suggest that is exactly the reason to start there."

Harvey sits back, resigned, waiting for the interrogation to start.

"So, we were discussing how you were struggling with the idea of Louis' family expanding. Does it make you upset that you have had difficulty reaching the stage of settling down with someone and having a family?"

"Wow, that's a great way to start. Thanks." He rolls his eyes and says nothing. Playing happy family wasn't exactly in his life plan, but it still hurt to hear it out loud.

"Harvey, I would remind you that you are here of your own volition. You are free to go at any time, but if you are interested in working through this, it is most helpful if you try to answer honestly and resist the urge to be defensive."

"Fine. Yes. I'm not exactly a great success story in relationships."

"And that frustrates you?"

"No, it thrills me."

Stan ignores his sarcastic comment, and Harvey doesn't blame him.

"I'd like to explore whether there are any repeated patterns causing problems in your relationships. Your last serious relationship, for example – what was the reason it ended?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Harvey, again I—"

"We just weren't right for each other," he snaps, irritated.

"You mean you wanted different things?"

"Yeah, you could say that. She…" Harvey tries to find the words to explain just what a goddamn mess that had been. "She wanted me to cut Donna out of my life."

"I see. And you were unwilling to do that?"

Guilt racks at Harvey as he admits, "I tried…but eventually…I just couldn't do that to her. She'd been there for me for twelve years. It wouldn't be the same without her. The firm, I mean," he adds quickly, not wanting to be misunderstood. "She worked her whole life to get herself into a leadership position. And she deserves it."

"So, you prioritized your professional loyalty to Donna above your relationship."

"We weren't in a relationship," Harvey says, without thinking.

Stan stares at him. "No, I didn't mean with Donna. I meant your relationship with the woman who was asking you to cut ties with Donna. What was her name?"

Feeling embarrassed, Harvey says sheepishly, "Paula."

"Let me rephrase. So you prioritized your working relationship with Donna over your romantic relationship with Paula?"

"I guess."

"That is very admirable, Harvey. I'm sure Donna appreciated your loyalty. I'm sorry that it caused you to lose someone you cared about."

"It's fine. It wouldn't have worked out in the long run anyway."

"Why do you say that?"

With every one of Stan's probing questions Harvey feels himself growing more and more uncomfortable with where their conversation is headed. He's not quite sure why, knowing that he hadn't done anything unethical; after all, he'd waited the full year. And yet, for some reason he didn't want to hear what Stan had to say on the subject of therapists dating patients.

"Harvey, the more detailed our discussions are—"

"She was my therapist." He says it quietly and looks down at his hands.

Lipschitz is silent for a moment, and when he speaks it sounds like he's considering his answer carefully. "I didn't know you had seen a therapist previously. You didn't indicate that on your patient form."

This response feels so ridiculous to him that he's not even sure he heard correctly. "I tell you I dated my therapist and that's what you focus on?"

"I mention it because the fact that you omitted it, and your response just now, suggest that you feel guilty about it in some way."

"I don't know what you're getting at, but just so you know, I followed the waiting period. We didn't have any contact for a year. I know the rules."

"I am merely trying to understand the situation, Harvey. Although you may have guessed that I see such relationships as being quite problematic, of course there are different levels of concern depending on the focus of the therapy. What prompted you to go see her?"

Harvey thought about the day he had, in Donna's words, put on his most impressive outfit and picked up a Ferrari Daytona, with the intention of sweeping her off her feet. "I guess I just felt like I was ready to take a step forward. I was in a good place in my life, and I wanted to share that with the person who had helped me get there."

"No, I meant to ask, why did you pursue therapy with her in the first place?"

"Oh." He feels embarrassed again and considers how much of the truth to tell Stan, then starts hating himself for being such a pathetic coward. What the hell was the point of therapy if you didn't tell the truth? "I was…going through some stuff at work. Donna decided she would rather work for Louis than me…I'm sure you heard all about that," he trails off, unable to keep the annoyance out of his voice.

"Of course, I do remember hearing Louis' perspective about that situation. But I would like to hear yours."

"What is there to say? She left. It was bound to happen eventually," he says, attempting to sound nonchalant.

The doctor doesn't seem to buy this random turn of events. "And did anything happen in particular that led her to make that decision?

"It was…complicated. She did something, and went through this whole thing with being on trial, and thinking she might…go to prison."

"I am sure that must have been a very upsetting time. How did it make you feel?"

"Me? I was too busy busting my ass fixing everything, I didn't have time to think about feelings."

Stan looks almost amused by this pronouncement. "Harvey, quite on the contrary, it is a sign of your feelings that you were working so hard to fix the situation. And I presume you were successful, in this regard?"

"Yeah."

"It is very impressive, how you fight for the people you care about. But I cannot help but think that you are leaving something out. It seems unusual that Donna would choose this time to work for someone else after you had just protected her from such a life-altering consequence."

"Well, why don't you ask her," he says dismissively. The memory of her silhouette walking away from him that evening still haunts him, and he's here to fix himself, not bring up past pain.

"I am interested in your perception of what happened."

Harvey sighs. "Things just got a little…intense…between us."

"Intense in what way?"

"It just brought up a lot of stuff for me, protecting her in that way…I told her that I would never let anything happen to her and that…I loved her." As soon as he says the words out loud, Harvey starts to regret it. He can't quite read the expression on Dr Lipschitz' face, but it looks a bit like pity and he can't stand that.

"I see how that could make it difficult to continue working together. She was not interested in pursuing that type of relationship with you?"

His frustration growing, Harvey starts to think this has all been a waste of time. "What?" He snaps. "Why would you say that? I wasn't—"

"Forgive me Harvey, I just assumed that if she had reciprocated your feelings this story would have a…different resolution."

"Look, I know what it sounds like, but it's not like that between us. We've had clear boundaries for a long time. It was just…I don't know, the emotions of what we were going through, everything got all messed up."

"And you pursued therapy to try and fix, in your words, what was so messed up."

Harvey nods. "Pathetic, right? People pay me a thousand dollars an hour to fix their problems. And then I have to go find someone to fix mine."

"I do not find it to be pathetic at all. In a similar way, many therapists have their own therapists. It can be quite a heavy burden, listening to the problems of others all day and then having to face our own. It is natural to seek a solution from outside ourselves."

"Well…are you offering one?" He recalls Scottie's words with a sigh. 'Did you…fix yourself?' He wishes more than anything that one day, he won't feel any hesitation in answering that question.

"Harvey, I am going to make a suggestion that I want you to consider carefully. It may seem slightly upsetting at first. Are you familiar with the concept of transference?"

"No."

"In short, it happens when a patient inappropriately transfers feelings for someone else onto his therapist."

"That's insane."

"On the contrary, it is really quite common and a rather natural consequence of working through your feelings with the help of another person."

Panic starts to rise in his chest. "What are you saying?"

"I am suggesting that perhaps what you thought you felt for Paula was in fact derived from feelings you had for another woman in your life."

The accusation hangs in the air and he feels as though he's slowly being backed into a corner with no escape. Although deep down Stan's words don't sound crazy at all, he feels the need to fight back and defend himself. "What the hell is that supposed to mean? You're crazy. If that's what you think, you don't know anything! You don't know what our relationship was like, or how I felt about her—"

"I am not trying to dismiss your feelings Harvey, I am only aiming to help you understand them."

At a loss for words, his mind swims with a thousand rude things he wants to say to the so-called doctor in front of him. He thinks better of it and stays silent.

"Harvey, I suggest we end here for the day. I have certainly given you a great deal to think about. I would like to see you again next week, if you are willing to discuss this further."

He's slowly starting to question everything, wondering if he's gone mad. A jumble of confusing images and memories swim through his mind, faces all a blur.

She, asking him what he would say to her, if she was her.

Her, in his office, asking for more. Him, asking if she'll have dinner with him, because he's ready to share his life with someone.

Him, telling her she's the person who helped him make peace with his mother, not her.

Her keys sitting on his desk. Her kissing him. Him asking if she'll move in with him.

Harvey's not sure how long he's been sitting there lost in his thoughts when he realizes Stan's eyes are fixed on him, watching inwtently. He feels uncomfortably exposed. He gets up slowly and heads for the door. Pausing with his hand on the door handle, he looks back. "Stan…am I a lost cause?"

Dr Lipschitz smiles. "On the contrary Harvey, I think you just might be on the cusp of a breakthrough."

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this! I have a few more ideas for chapters, I'd like to see Donna and Dr Lipschitz together and maybe Harvey post 8x16 trying to learn how to communicate better in his relationship with Donna. Let me know if you have any ideas :)