Bakugou Katsuki was, for lack of better words, fucked. Utterly so, and the cause of all of it was his childhood friend Midoriya Izuku.

Lately, he had been getting this weird feeling gnawing at the pit of his stomach each and every time he looked in the general direction of the green haired nerd. "Butterflies" Kirishima had explained, "They form because of a chemical reaction that supposedly ignites when someone is falling in love."

Katsuki scoffed at reminiscing Kirishima's words, but shitty hair was right. He was in love, desperately in love with Deku, and he had been for the past decade now. Katsuki was frustrated, after all he was a healthy 26 year old male harbouring, not only romantic feelings towards his childhood friend, but even sexual, which was very bad. Kirishima had told him many times that pining for someone for so long was unhealthy and pointless, but Katsuki just couldn't wrap it in his mind to forget about the nerd and start seeing other people. Not like Katsuki was a virgin, he had had, of course, his share of experience, sexually speaking, but his head had never been into dating. He deemed it unfair to himself and his potential partners to start dating when he knew his heart belonged to Deku. Far too many times Kirishima had told him to spill the beans because what was the worst that could have happened if Midoriya said no? At least Katsuki could have finally rearrange his life and get rid of this futile feeling that was destroying him from the inside, shattering his soul. Kirishima had a point but Katsuki was scared, scared to the core of Deku's reaction and subsequent rejection. If things went wrong, Katsuki didn't even wanna imagine the disaster a confession would entail, because he knew they were only friends, or at least this was what Deku considered him. On top of that, they were the wonder duo, the symbol of hope and victory who worked together as pro heroes in the same agency. Pros and cons, they had been together since their childhood years and they had both gone through drastic changes during their relationship, but actually confessing his feelings wasn't an option Katsuki had ever considered, he'd rather ignite explosions to his own face than do that and ruin their friendship. Nonetheless Deku was the bane of his existence, because that nerd was oblivious to Katsuki's feelings, which was why he had showed up to his apartment at 2 in the morning and was now sitting on Katsuki's bed whining about how his last date had gone terribly wrong. And really, this was another fact that bothered Katsuki, because apparently Deku had turned him into his love counsellor. But Katsuki didn't mind, because every time Deku called him and then showed up in his apartment meant another failed date, and Katsuki couldn't help the smile forming in his lips. Of course guilt grasped at him for feeling this way whilst Deku was visibly distressed about his break ups and failed dates, but Katsuki couldn't help it. He was jealous, and seeing Deku with someone else was agonizing.

"Fuck Deku! Seriously it's 2 am. Couldn't this wait until tomorrow morning?" Katsuki says loudly, throwing his hands up in the air for emphasis. He sits on the bed next to Deku and he sees him smile that knowing smirk of his, the one Katsuki had always found annoying and adorable at the same time. Katsuki knew that meant trouble for his fragile heart.

"Technically, Kacchan," Izuku says, pointing a finger in his direction, "it's already morning."

"Fucker." Katsuki grunts at his smartass reply as he plops on the bed with his back and crosses his arms behind his head. Izuku mimics his movements and slouches back next to him.

"C'mon Kacchan! You're the only one I can talk to about this. You're my best friend. The one that knows me best." Izuku sighs, momentarily closing his eyes.

There's something stirring inside Katsuki's chest, the nerd always ended up saying crap like that. -You're my best friend- and -you know me best- were a remarkable occurrence in Katsuki's life. And it was not like Katsuki withheld any hope about those words having any hidden meaning because he knew Deku said them out of pure innocence. Seriously though, what was he supposed to think when Deku said to him he was the one that knew him best? Katsuki couldn't help but hope.

"So what was it this time?" Katsuki asks wary, completely ignoring the bubbling in his stomach. He had become good at acting through the years he had had this so called crush on the nerd. "Was he not handsome enough? Crooked teeth? Didn't like your All Might figurines collection?"

"Kacchan!" Izuku pouts, cutely so, Katsuki notices. Hell, he would always notice that little cute pout of his. "This is serious." Izuku whines, turning towards Katsuki and resting his head on his hand.

"I bet it is." Katsuki says sarcastically, rolling his eyes. He had seriously lost count of how many times he had been through this scenario.

"You don't understand, Kacchan!" Izuku cries out, jabbing a finger into Katsuki's ribs, making him yelp lightly at the contact. "I thought he was the one."

Katsuki rolls his eyes again. "You say that every time, Deku." Katsuki says, a hint of exasperation lining his voice. "I think the problem is that your are looking for someone that doesn't fucking exist."

"Where's my prince charming, Kacchan?" Izuku wails, biting his bottom lip and Katsuki is reminded again how dangerous having Deku in his room so late at night was. Because the fucker just had to do the most banal things to turn him on. Katsuki was disgusted at himself for his lecherous thoughts sometimes.

"That's exactly what I'm talking about." Katsuki sneers, sitting back up on the bed and running a hand through his hair in defeat. "Prince fucking charming doesn't exist, Deku."

Izuku immediately shoots up as well, his right arm brushing briefly with Katsuki's, which sends a spark through Katsuki's heart. He puts his hands on his knees, eyes casting downwards as a sad expression creeps on his face. "But Kacchan! All I want is someone who loves me for who I am, and I want to love them just as much."

"I'm here." Katsuki wants to say but he doesn't, he keeps listening to the nerd instead, to his rambling and mumbling as he goes on and on. Even in the dim light of the room and even if Deku's face is partially hidden because of it, Katsuki can still see his freckles getting dusted with red as he speaks about his love aspirations. "I want to feel that spark that gives you butterflies on your stomach, the anticipation, the nervousness that kills you before you see the person you like." Izuku says excitedly.

Damn! Katsuki knew all of it, if what he was feeling right now was any hint at all. It didn't help that Deku had decided to turn towards him while saying so, looking him in the eyes so fiercely that his bright green eyes were glinting with eerie intensity. It was so captivating really, everything about Deku was, it had always been. His hands that were still on his knees are now closed into tight fists, his mouth closed into a tight line and his body shifted towards him, dangerously close, so close that even though they were not touching Katsuki felt the need to retreat slightly.

"That's not something that happens easily, Deku." Katsuki says, averting his gaze. "The fact that you jump from relationship to relationship might be the issue. If you just gave it fucking time and looked around carefully, then maybe you could find someone decent." Katsuki cringes at himself as soon as the words leaves his mouth, because he knew he was practically suggesting Deku to look at him. But no, the nerd was oblivious.

There's an uncomfortable silence stirring between them then, Deku is still looking at him like he was just pondering something, eyes so intent on Katsuki that the latter had to wonder if the nerd had caught on with what his words really meant.

"You've never been in love Kacchan, have you?" Izuku asks then, interrupting the silence. Katsuki has to swallow a lump down his throat at that, his eyes averting back to Deku's face in utter surprise. "I'm in love with you." Katsuki wants to scream, but he keeps it all inside because bottling up his emotions was what he was best at. Katsuki doesn't reply but refuses to leave Deku's gaze.

"You know Kacchan," Izuku sighs when he receives no reply, "I've always thought it was weird that you have never had a serious relationship up until now."

Katsuki grits his teeth, "Because it wouldn't be right to date someone else when my heart is with you, shitty nerd." But Katsuki doesn't say it. He can't bring himself to say it. When in all fact, all he wants to do is just stretching his arm and touch Deku. He was so close, yet so distant.

"I mean," Izuku continues, his eyes shine with renewed light, "you could literally have anyone you want, Kacchan! You're so handsome after all!" The words rolls off Izuku's so easily and casually, but of course they have the opposite effect on Katsuki. Those words almost light up a dim fire of hope onto his heart. "Yeah, but I can't have you." Katsuki thinks, his mind wrapping around the fact that Deku thought he was handsome. The nerd should have stopped complimenting him like that, unless he wanted to get jumped. Katsuki does not jump him of course, but seriously, it didn't help when Deku, all of a sudden, rests his head on his shoulder, making Katsuki's entire body stiffen.

"Maybe is that explosive personality of yours that scares people away." Izuku chuckles slightly, Katsuki doesn't dare to move. He feels like his right arm was scorching because of Deku's touch and he doesn't give a damn about the heartfelt insult. How he wished for that moment to never end. But it does end, Izuku instantly stands up, hands on his hips, looking pointedly at Katsuki. "You better introduce me to your future girlfriend when the time comes, Kacchan!" Izuku says, bending towards Katsuki slightly, voice uptight and full of reproach.

Katsuki curses inwardly, this was another of his problems. Deku believing he was into girls when he was not was another major obstacle getting in his way to confess his feelings. If he'd only be able to use that aforementioned explosive personality of his to woo the nerd maybe...

"Yeah nerd, count on it." Katsuki says instead, his inner self screaming and punching as he looks at Deku's content face at his reply.

"Good." Izuku exhales, dropping his hands at his side. "Now Kacchan, can I borrow something to sleep in?" He says with the biggest smile on his face. "It's late and it's a Friday so I don't want to go back to my apartment knowing I'll have to wake up in," he spares a look at the alarm clock in Katsuki's nightstand, "...5 hours. We can go to work together tomorrow." He finishes, looking at his friend pointedly.

"This fucker." Katsuki thinks. There was no way he could survive this night, could he? But Katsuki acquiesces anyway, if he could stay with the nerd just like this then he didn't mind.

He gets up from the bed and rummages in his wardrobe for old clothes to give to the nerd. It takes out an old black t-shirt with the drawing of a skull in it and a pair of plain white boxers and he tosses them to Deku.

"I'll take the couch." Katsuki says, pocketing his hands onto the pants of his pyjamas as he is about to exit his room. There was no way Katsuki could sleep in the same bed as Deku, because lately that had become a hard task for him.

"Wait Kacchan!" Izuku shouts and Katsuki turns slightly to see Deku's hand pulling on his shirt sleeve. His eyes travel from Deku's hand to his face and Katsuki bites the inside of his cheeks.

"What's the point?" Izuku asks with the purest of expressions, "Let's sleep together, Kacchan! We always do!" There's a hint of worry in his eyes, Katsuki notices it, but his brain is all mushy about the words -sleep together- and their real meaning right now. If only Katsuki stopped fantasising like that. Kirishima was damn right, this was gonna ruin his damn mind. Plus Deku didn't deserve this, the nerd really thought of them as just friends, after all.

"Fine." Katsuki grunts defeated as he makes his way to the bed and under the covers, leaning on his right side and giving his back to Deku. He hears the nerd shuffling with his clothes as he gets changed but Katsuki doesn't turn around. The mattress sinks under Deku's weight soon after, and he feels Deku's hand wrapping lightly around his waist.

"Good night, Kacchan!" Deku whispers as he quickly drifts into sleep.

Katsuki is unable to move. The side of his waist where Deku's hands rests upon is burning feverishly and Katsuki bits his tongue because of it. This was another normal occurrence for them, or at least it was for Deku. For him it only was a demonstration of friendship.

Fuck! This was really going to be a long night. Katsuki thinks, but at least he knew that right at this moment, Deku was by his side. Nothing could have taken this moment away from him, and Katsuki was content with it.