the-grey-hunt (Alatar Maia) came into my tumblr messages saying she'd taken the Pottermore sorting quiz as she thought Michael would and ended up putting him in Slytherin with Hufflepuff as the last option. So I decided to take it myself and ended up thinking about Michael's thought process for each of the questions.

I've done the same for the other three archangels as well, so each of those chapters will go up separately as we start with Michael.

Also the mention about Dummy wanting to be in Ravenclaw but always ending up in Hufflepuff is 100% the-grey-hunt's idea.

And if you're NOT following me at thelastarchangelaskblog on tumblr, then you're missing out! :P Especially since the-grey-hunt posted her own spin on the archangels' reunion as the last archangel: i'm not in charge of this series on AO3. It's 6 chapters and now complete.

Summary: They've never actually sat under the Sorting Hat (except for Michael, but he was human so that doesn't count), but the Pottermore Sorting quiz is the next best thing. Or, featuring each of the archangels taking the Sorting Quiz as published by Pottermore.

The Four Archangels Take the Sorting Quiz

Michael

"I was already Sorted. Why are you asking me to take a quiz that will Sort me again?"

"You were human, then," Gabriel pointed out, smirking. "Maybe it'll Sort you differently now."

"This isn't the Sorting Hat," Michael said, looking down at the pad in skepticism.

"As good as according to the author who penned the books of this universe."

"Hm." Michael tilted the pad in Gabriel's direction. "Have you taken it?"

"Oh yeah." Gabriel grinned. "Hat stall between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff. Samael's taken it, too, and Raphael as well. So it's just you we're missing."

It was clear Gabriel wouldn't let this drop, would probably stalk Michael with the pad in hand if Michael refused to do it. And if Michael did it now it wouldn't be that bad, would it?

Resigning himself to his fate, Michael pressed the START button and read the first question.

Which of the following would you most hate people to call you?

A. Ordinary

B. Ignorant

C. Selfish

D. Cowardly

Gabriel wasn't looking over his shoulder, but Michael had no doubt that he was somewhat aware of what answers he would select. He glanced at Gabriel and then deliberately veiled the tablet from Gabriel's senses.

His brother made a face but didn't otherwise argue, settling back to give Michael more space.

It didn't really matter if people called him ignorant or ordinary. He had been ignorant at one point. As for ordinary…he wasn't exactly ordinary, but it didn't matter if people thought he was.

Selfish? If someone called him selfish - if someone said that he'd been selfish with what he had done… When he hadn't ever really, truly wanted to fight his siblings and had only ever done so because his Father ordered it—

He hadn't been selfish.

Cowardly?

No, that slightly annoyed but not like…

So "selfish" it was.

The second question read:

After you have died, what would you most like people to do when they hear your name?

A. Miss you but smile.

B. Ask for more stories about your adventures

C. Think with admiration of your achievements

D. I don't care what people think of me after I'm dead; it's what they think while I'm alive that counts

Clearly not B or C. Michael hadn't had any adventures worth speaking of and his achievements weren't anything to admire.

D? Perhaps at one point but… Michael knew his other siblings had thought of him as dead for a long time and had cursed his name for what he had done. He cared about that; it mattered.

But A? That wasn't… Well…of the options it was the most palatable. If he only garnered fond thoughts after his (unlikely) death, then that was a good thing to hope for.

After selecting A, Michael read the third question.

Given the choice, would you rather invent a potion that would guarantee you

A. Glory

B. Wisdom

C. Power

D. Love

A and C were instant no's. Michael had never wanted glory or power. And Michael had been Created to fight, but he had also been Created to love. So, really…

But if he had been wise from the start? If he had known what to do? Then so many mistakes might have been averted.

The fourth question was

How would you like to be known to history?

A. The Wise

B. The Good

C. The Bold

D. The Great

Ideally he wouldn't be known at all. What good was an angel who smeared their accomplishments over everything? Some things hadn't been helped given the Bible, but everything else?

Michael wasn't bold; he wouldn't want to be known as bold either. Nor great; that way led madness. He wasn't wise; he wouldn't be known as wise either. But good? Perhaps…if he redeemed himself enough… people might think of him as good instead of cursing his name.

The next question read:

You enter an enchanted garden. What would you be most curious to examine first?

A. The silver leafed tree bearing golden apples

B. The fat red toadstools that appear to be talking to each other

C. The bubbling pool, in the depths of which something luminous is swirling

D. The statue of an old wizard with a strangely twinkling eye

Well, that was a singularly useless question. If he entered a garden blind with no idea what was there, the first thing Michael would notice would be the tree. Every living thing was able to talk in some sense, so the toadstools weren't that odd. The pool was curious but wouldn't draw his attention first as it was set in the ground. As for the statue?

He'd perhaps wonder why Dumbledore had decided to put himself there.

The tree would be first, and everything else would follow after.

What kind of instrument most pleases your ear?

A. Violin

B. Drums

C. Piano

D. Trumpet

Michael stared down at it for a long moment, then looked up at Gabriel, who had an unusually patient expression on his face. "Instrument?" he asked flatly. "Is there no option for 'none of the above'?"

"Nope," Gabriel said cheerfully. "Pick your poison, brother."

Human instruments sounded terrible. There were no good options here. The only one Michael found remotely pleasing was the trumpet and that was because Gabriel had one, but as for when the trumpet would sound…

No, Michael didn't think the trumpet would ever sound pleasing to his ear because of what it meant. For lack of any other option, he just picked violin.

Four boxes are placed before you. Which would you try to open?

A. The small tortoiseshell box, embellished with gold, inside which some small creature seems to be squeaking.

B. The gleaming jet black box with a silver lock and key, marked with a mysterious rune that you know to be the mark of Merlin.

C. The ornate golden casket, standing on clawed feet, whose inscription warns that both secret knowledge and unbearable temptation lie within.

D. The small pewter box, unassuming and plain, with a scratched message upon it that reads "I open only for the worthy."

Michael resisted the urge to snort as he read the last option. Worthy? Well, that one was right out. The third one sounded vaguely tempting but he didn't think he'd do all that well with it.

He had no interest in anything of Merlin's, and even if he could resurrect whatever poor creature was in the first box, it would still be in pain. So A it was.

Four goblets are placed before you. Which would you choose to drink?

A. The foaming, frothing, silvery liquid that sparkles as though containing ground diamonds

B. The smooth, thick, richly purple drink that gives off a delicious smell of chocolate and plums.

C. The golden liquid so bright that it hurts the eye, and which makes sunspots dance all around the room.

D. The mysterious black liquid that gleams like ink, and gives off fumes that make you see strange visions.

He had no interest in diamonds or sweet things. Let alone strange visions. That had never been in his purview. But C? His nature had always been heat and fire.

Once every century, the Flutterby bush produces flowers that adapt their scent to attract the unwary. If it lured you, it would smell of

A. A crackling log fire

B. Parchment

C. Home

D. The sea

Heaven had no scent, but that hadn't been Michael's only home, had it? And even so… Michael selected C mutely.

The next question was just bizarre and had Michael staring at it for a minute, wondering just what?

A troll has gone berserk in the Headmaster's study at Hogwarts. It is about to smash, crush and tear several irreplaceable items and treasures, including a cure for dragon pox, which the Headmaster has nearly perfected; student records going back 1000 years and a mysterious handwritten book full of strange runes, believed to have belonged to Merlin. In which order would you rescue these objects from the troll's club, if you could?

A. 1. Dragon Pox Cure 2. Merlin's Book 3. Student's Records

B. 1. Cure 2. Records 3. Book

C. 1. Book 2. Cure 3. Records

D. 1. Book 2. Records 3. Cure

E. 1. Records 2. Cure 3. Book

F. 1. Records 2. Book 3. Cure

He could theoretically recreate all of these if they were lost. Was there nothing more important to rescue instead?

"Think like a human," Gabriel advised idly, who was now balancing his chair precipitously on the back legs and staring up at the ceiling.

With a small sigh, Michael selected the first option. If he had none of his abilities, he would certainly value health over knowledge first. As for the records…records weren't that much use, were they?

Which would you rather be?

A. Trusted

B. Liked

C. Imitated

D. Praised

E. Envied

F. Feared

This one… This one didn't require much thought. Michael didn't have to be liked. He didn't have to be praised. But trusted? He'd lost the right to be trusted years ago.

Even so…

Which of the following do you find the most difficult to deal with?

A. Hunger

B. Cold

C. Loneliness

D. Boredom

E. Being ignored

The cold… Michael hated the cold, but he could deal with it. He was heat, even if at the end it had been—

But loneliness? Michael had never been lonely before until finding himself in this world. Even in the Cage, shut off from the connection all angels shared and only feeling Lucifer's presence and not his thoughts… Michael hadn't actually been alone.

His friends had helped but they were nothing compared to the company of another angel.

What are you most looking forward to learning at Hogwarts?

A. Every area of magic that I can

B. Apparition & Disapparition

C. Transfiguration

D. Flying on a broomstick

E. Hexes & jinxes

F. All about magical creatures and how to befriend them

G. Secrets about the castle

As Wayne Hopkins he'd been so eager to learn about absolutely everything he could. That hadn't changed even now as Michael found himself looking for differences between what he had known in his old world and the rules of this world.

If you could have any power, what would you choose?

A. The power to read minds

B. The power of invisibility

C. The power of superhuman strength

D. The power to speak to animals

E. The power to change the past

F. The power to change your appearance at will

If he could have any power of the ones that he already had?

Only…no. He could travel back in time, but he couldn't change the past. And if he could change the past? Knowing what he knew now?

Michael kept his face blank as he selected his answer and moved on.

Which of the following would you most like to study?

A. Centaurs

B. Goblins

C. Merpeople

D. Ghosts

E. Vampires

F. Werewolves

G. Trolls

Absolutely none of the above but if he had to select one he'd just go with ghosts because they were different here.

One of your house mates has cheated in a Hogwarts exam by using a Self-Spelling Quill. Now he has come top of the class in Charms, beating you into second place. Professor Flitwick is suspicious of what happened. He draws you to one side after his lesson and asks you whether or not your classmate used a forbidden quill. What do you do?

A. Lie and say you don't know (but hope that somebody else tells Professor Flitwick the truth).

B. Tell Professor Flitwick that he ought to ask your classmate (and resolve to tell your classmate that if he doesn't tell the truth, you will).

C. Tell Professor Flitwick the truth. If your classmate is prepared to win by cheating, he deserves to be found out. Also, as you are both in the same house, any points he loses will be regained by you, for coming first in his place.

D. You would not wait to be asked to tell Professor Flitwick the truth. If you knew that somebody was using a forbidden quill, you would tell the teacher before the exam started.

That was another easy question considering free will and students having to learn. He'd give the classmate the opportunity to confess. But why was there no option to confront the classmate yourself?

Michael selected B irritably.

You and two friends need to cross a bridge guarded by a river troll who insists on fighting one of you before he will let all of you pass. Do you:

A. Attempt to confuse the troll into letting all three of you pass without fighting?

B. Suggest drawing lots to decide which of you will fight?

C. Suggest that all three of you should fight (without telling the troll)?

D. Volunteer to fight?

Why would Michael suggest drawing lots if his companions were humans? C made sense if they were all humans, but even so trolls were tricky for humans to take care of as a group. D was just suicidal.

Even if Michael wasn't human, he wouldn't immediately suggest fighting the troll. There were other options, so A it was. Even if he didn't have Gabriel's flair with words.

Which road tempts you the most?

A. The wide, sunny grassy lane

B. The narrow, dark, lantern-lit alley

C. The twisting, leaf-strewn path through woods

D. The cobbled street lined with ancient buildings

He'd walked shrouded in shadow long enough with the decisions he'd made. Why would he do so again?

Michael selected A and moved on.

Which nightmare would frighten you the most?

A. Standing on top of something very high and realizing suddenly that there are no hand- or footholds, nor any barrier to stop you falling

B. An eye at the keyhole of the dark, windowless room in which you are locked

C. Waking up to find that neither your friends nor your family have any idea who you are.

D. Being forced to speak in such a silly voice that hardly anyone can understand you, and everyone laughs at you

The first three were objectively rather frightening. (The fourth was laughable and Michael discarded it immediately.) But all of them…

"How far did you fall?"

Michael swallowed, picked A, and moved on quickly.

Late at night, walking alone down the street, you hear a peculiar cry that you believe to have a magical source. Do you:

A. Proceed with caution, keeping one hand on your concealed wand and an eye out for any disturbance?

B. Draw your wand and try to discover the source of the noise?

C. Draw your wand and stand your ground?

D. Withdraw into the shadows to await developments, while mentally reviewing the most appropriate defensive and offensive spells, should trouble occur?

If he were human… Even now, Michael would investigate such noises carefully, as there wasn't a need for angelic abilities every time. So if one considered a "concealed wand" to be his more specific abilities…

There was no need to remain back and do nothing. That way led to something going wrong.

Definitely A.

A Muggle confronts you and says that they are sure you are a witch or wizard. Do you:

A. Ask what makes them think so

B. Agree, and ask whether they'd like a free sample of a jinx

C. Agree, and walk away, leaving them to wonder whether you are bluffing

D. Tell them that you are worried about their mental health, and offer to call a doctor

This was…actually an amusing question. And certainly one plausible enough.

If a Muggle came up to him right now?

"You're a wizard!"

"Am I? What makes you think so?"

A it was.

The last several questions seemed to serve no purpose so Michael just picked dawn (because everything started anew), stars (because they held life), forest (he just picked this one randomly), white (as it was closest to his own Grace), heads (again randomly), and right (once more randomly).

Once he finished, the quiz results beamed up at him with a proud HUFFLEPUFF (at 77%?). Ravenclaw was underneath that at 64%, followed by Gryffindor at 50%, and then Slytherin at 15%.

"Huh." Gabriel was now looking over Michael's shoulder. "I suppose that shouldn't be much of a surprise with all the books you scribble in, but your Slytherin friends were insistent that you would've done well in Slytherin." He tapped pointedly at the 15%.

Michael refused to comment. "Happy now?"

"Very," Gabriel said cheerfully. "Now I'm going to let the bots do what they want with this info. I think Dummy's still a little put out it keeps putting him in Hufflepuff; he wanted Ravenclaw."

Michael considered what he knew of Gabriel's eldest and drew a blank at seeing Dummy in Ravenclaw. "No," he said flatly.

"Yeah," Gabriel sighed, taking the pad back from Michael. "I love him, but he's not, eh, the brightest tool in the box sometimes. Now You on the other hand…"

There was no way Michael was involving himself in that discussion.

Obviously this isn't about the canon versions of the angels but rather the angels as they are in this 'verse.

Also 100% the reason for why this is going here instead of in the last chapter is because it's a side "what if" story and not anything that will actually happen in First Born.