A/N: Hello everyone! I wrote this story in about two days and I'm well aware that the writers aren't smart enough to actually go there, they will be taking their sweet time with Snowbarry just to kill us. Meanwhile I will enjoy watching the show for any new Snowbarry interactions and Killer Frost badass moments with Barry, can't believe I am still watching this at times embarrassing show, but I am a loyal shipper until the end. As long as Caitlin is still on, Snowbarry has a chance and Barry still can time travel. Anything can happen. Let me know what you think of this one and if you want to read more rewrites in the future. I plan on having more out there because I know these writers don't have the balls to release any known deleted scenes without the angry mob clawing at them. Here is what I believe is the continuation from 5x17, what Barry should do as opposed to what he will do which is forgive that nasty bitch the next episode for working with a known murderer. It's gonna happen, just you wait. Enjoy this story for the time being. Let me know what you think of the ending. Until then, thanks guys! :)

Barry Allen collapsed on the couch in the labs that same night, the night Nora's lies had been revealed for all to hear. He closed his eyes and pondered why someone he loved and cared for deeply would do something like that. Why? Just why? Barry pounded his fists against the wall and ended up phasing through them instead. His heart sped wildly as he felt a presence near him.

"Barry..." That grating, judgmental tone could only come from one person.

"Go away, Iris." Barry responded back, almost growling.

"I don't think this is healthy, what you're doing." She said, he could feel her moving closer to him as he turned around causing her to flinch.

"I said—go away." He repeated again through clenched teeth. "Leave me alone for once."

Iris rolled her eyes back in that judgmental way she always did whenever Barry called her out. "I am your wife, we're in this together. Why won't you talk to me?"

Barry ground his teeth so hard he was sure he took off enamel. How can she ask him that? Now of all times to make it about her?

"This is not about you, Iris. This is about Nora."

"What? Barry, I know that. That's what I was saying; do you even listen to me anymore? This is about our daughter, and all you wanna do is shut me out."

Barry scoffed with an incredulous smirk on his face. "Do you really hear yourself when you speak?"

Iris blinked back. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You're not special. I used to think so. I used to—find you, I used to care if you'd even look at me the same way I did to you; but you never did. I know now, this whole thing, this whole marriage is toxic to me." He stared directly at her, confident, unafraid to her shocked eyes. "And I—can't have this now."

"What? Barry...you don't mean...look, y-you're upset. I realize it, I do. You're saying all this out of anger."

"I'm not, Iris. I'm finally thinking clearly. I should have said this when I came back from the Speed force. Cisco told me you thought I was dead. Not just that, he told even if there was one small chance to bring me back, you said no."

Iris swallowed slowly. "Barry...you have to understand, you just left, you left me—"

"No Iris. I left to save everyone. I did the right thing. And I haven't stopped and I never will, especially now."

Barry sped out of the labs and directly to same place he free fell. He had been here before, for another reason. Zoom, Hunter Zolomon and now another betrayal. Barry slammed his eyes shut and opened them to seeing red.

What came out of his throat was a piercing scream from all the frustration he's suffered since lightning struck him that faithful day. By the time his breathing stuck in his throat he collapsed on the ground, dry heaving. The panic attack hitting him head on.

"Why...why...why...why?!" He can't repeating losing focus of the way his mouth moved around the words. "Why? You were my life. Just why?" He asked more softly, drained of energy, breathless.

It was late at night and he knew the crew had left long ago but he needed comfort, he needed someone to lean on, the fact of the matter is he trusted almost no one. Not his family, even his friends were sketchy, but he knew he had to reach out to someone. He was starting feel that helpless reaction, it came every time he was bullied all those years ago. He would run away when it was all over, bruised and bleeding to the one place he trusted, his home. To his parents, his mother knew exactly what to say and how to calm him down. Now that she is dead, Barry felt like a lost soul.

He searched his heart and sped to the one place he felt like he could trust, many years ago he helped her and she had always helped him, but this time was different. He truly needed her; he needed to mend his heart. Maybe she would just listen, he needed that more than ever.

He held up his hand before knocking softly. He heard rustling behind the door before it swung open.

"Barry?" Caitlin said in a surprised and worried tone.

Truthfully she expected him to be with his wife at their loft, it was odd he would show up here. Her brows twisted in a knot before Barry stepped forward, searching for the words to come out.

"Hey, can we, look I know how late it is but I just need someone to listen. I'm sorry, I—"

"Come in." She said, simply and calmly in the same way his mother had when she was still alive.

Caitlin moved aside so he could walk inside her apartment. He remembered being here years ago that night they were at that dive bar singing karaoke. He never forgot how much fun he had, just for a night the weight of the world wasn't on his shoulders. If he could go back there he would relive it again and mental note everything he saw and experienced. Caitlin made his life less stressful, she always had and he never really thanked her for all she did for him.

She offered him tea but he declined, he just wanted to unload his entire life but he didn't know where to start. So much had happened not just today but from day one, Barry couldn't possibly summarize every detail, it would take longer than the night.

He went small, he had to start somewhere. "I didn't think we would be doing this long, has it really been 5 years?"

Caitlin took the opposite seat from Barry and placed her hands on her lap, "I think so…it feels longer."

Barry smiled sadly, "Why is that? Why does it feel like what we do will never end?"

"Because someone has to, I guess, no one else can."

Barry's eyes narrowed angrily, he wasn't furious with Caitlin, just with what she said. "Why is the burden on us though? Why are we doing this?"

Caitlin swallowed slowly; he could tell she was afraid to answer. "I don't know, I mean, I know, but I don't know why it feels this...lonely."

Barry nodded, his worried lines erasing. She was finally making sense.

"But you have a family, Iris, Joe."

Barry rolled his eyes scoffing. "Family? What does that mean anymore?"

"Family is everything, it's all we have, and it's selfless love we can't find anywhere else. You still have that."

Barry stood up and began pacing back and forth, then stared out the window. "I used to believe that. What good is my family if all they do is lie to me? Hurt me? How can I call that love?"

Caitlin said nothing. She knew more than Barry was saying but she didn't want to make him anymore upset than he already is. "Have you tried talking to them?"

He waved his hand at that simple gesture. "What's to say they won't lie to me again?"

Caitlin was glad Barry didn't have the power to read her mind because it was reeling with truth bombs. She didn't know if she should tell him or hold back.

"I don't know. I don't know what to tell you."

Barry stopped mid step and turned around to sit next to Caitlin, holding her gaze. "Yes, you do. I know you do. You want to tell me so much but you're holding it back, fuck my feelings. Just stop with the secrets. I already said they are walls. Don't be like the rest. Not you. Caitlin, you always told me what I needed to hear. This isn't any different. Tell me," He said.

He grabbed her hand and she turned away. Caitlin had never outright lied to him and she wasn't going to stop now. Not when so many people he cared for already had. Barry had her cornered and she couldn't hide it, not anymore. She could feel the tears well up in her eyes but she refused to cry in front of him.

"Would you have believed me if I told you about Nora? Would it have made any difference?" She asked him with more diction in her tone.

Barry swallowed roughly, but deep down he knew better. "Yeah, from you, yes, I would have been shocked, dismayed, but I would rather you tell me then have me find out through Wells. Did you know anything about Nora?"

Caitlin dropped his hands and covered her face. "No, but Killer Frost did. She knew something was wrong but she couldn't tell me what it was. I suspected something wasn't right but like you, I didn't want to believe it. My own father lied to my face and I knew that no one else can be safe. But Barry, I never told you because I wanted to be sure. Sherloque found this out. He did the research. He found out the truth. I was too scared. I overheard Iris attacking Sherloque over all this and I shook my head. I wanted to confront her about it but I stayed quiet. That is the truth. I was scared, I should have done more. I should have looked out for you. This is my fault."

"No...no...it's mine." He said, incredulously.

Barry blinked several times back before he sunk into the confines of the couch, letting it hug his body. He sat for a long moment, saying nothing, just thinking about what she said. "Iris threatened Sherloque? Not even shocked she did that."

Caitlin watched as Barry shifted his weight until he stood up again. "I'm sorry, I let you down. If only I listened to Killer Frost. I should have. She protects us, you wouldn't have to find out the way you did."

"No, you wouldn't have known. We've been lied to so many times before it would have been hard to believe. We didn't believe it with your dad; I wouldn't have believed it with Nora, the first time. I wouldn't suspect anyone I cared about would do such a horrible thing. That they would work with—him. Such a despicable—he's not even human. Never, we were all blindsided."

Caitlin tried to piece together what was going on but she was still confused. "What I don't understand is why she was still working with him when she knew what he did? How can she do that? Why wouldn't she tell us then?"

"Because she didn't want to. Because it was too late. She didn't think the consequences would get to her. She didn't think she would get caught. She had us all fooled."

Caitlin took a deep breath, unsure of where they go from here. What will happen now that Nora is punished, compromised, a fake. She can't imagine the pressure Barry must be under.

"I told Iris off, for the first time. I didn't care what she said to me, I don't care what she thinks anymore."

Caitlin's eyes bugged out of their sockets. That was shocking, even for him. Barry almost never argued with Iris, let alone confronted her on anything. Caitlin was feeling so many things. Relief, tension reduction, the bones in her jaw had released their immense friction. She was proud he finally stood up to her, proud because her heart fluttered upon hearing him finally stand up for himself.

"Good, I'm sorry you're feeling so much weight placed on your shoulders. You deal with so much. You've grown so much over the years, I have complete trust in you. I'm glad you took charge, you are the true leader of this team, and it was never her."

Barry nodded slowly as he felt a smile coming. "I had a feeling you would understand. You and Cisco are the only ones I feel I can still trust after everything. You both helped me so many times and I've never extended my gratitude like I should—"

"You never needed to. You always had our backs, it was the least we could do for you." She replied softly, wanting to reach over and hug him but kept to herself.

"It's true though, you and Cisco are the only ones who have never lied, and everyone else has. My entire life before you guys has been an illusion. I have to make things right."

"What are you gonna do?" She was more concerned than curious; Barry had that unpredictable look in his eye.

"I don't know, I'm gonna fix what I started." He said, swallowing hard. "I have to...so much has gone wrong. It all started that day."

"That day? Barry?" Caitlin stood up and tried to look Barry in his eyes but he was so far in the moment, he was barely aware of her intense glaring.

"Barry, I know this look. Please, think before you do anything you regret." Caitlin said, her tone rising but still gentle, she didn't want to scare him away.

"No, not this time. If I do this, I can change my life...for the better. I can finally have the life Eobard Thawne never wanted for me. It all started on that day, I thought—I believed my life was supposed to be this, but I was wrong. I can change it, I can change it for all of us." Barry said, placing a bold on the word "us."

Caitlin stepped back, she knew there was no stopping Barry. When he was determined he ran with it, literally. But he looked different this time, more hopeful, less scattered. He appeared level-headed, like the times he used his brain instead of his emotions to solve a problem.

Barry stopped pacing and turned around charging forward to Caitlin. His eyes trailed to meet hers as he came forward and brushed his lips over hers. It was gentle and small, he knew the ramifications, planned it out in his mind but he was finally going to do it. He felt Caitlin respond back to the kiss, pressing harder than he would have imagined. This was like a dream, he didn't need to say anything, just feel her respond back, knowing he made the right decision.

"Caitlin," He breathed, pulling back gently. "I'll come back to you to finish what we started. Wait for me."

Caitlin's glazed eyes focused until they were sharply looking into Barry's light green ones. "Yes, go. I'll be here."

Barry smiled for the first time since the night they had fun together many years go. It was a familiar feeling. He kept her in his thoughts. He knew she was the one, but this time he was finally acting on his feelings. Caitlin stood with tears in her eyes as he backed away slowly.

Without another thought he sped off around the Central City, closing in on the worm hole that took him directly to the moment he needed to be. Never had he felt a rush like he had, his heart was racing but he was right where he had to.

The moment before he asked Iris to marry him. He was ready to start again. He felt his cell phone vibrate and saw the name flash before his eyes. "Iris."

Even saying her name mentally made his blood boil. He remembered the moment she brushed her ring-less finger along his weak body. This was the day after that, the entire day he was supposed to "take it easy" from the night before. Wally was gone, Iris broke his heart by abandoning him, Joe wasn't talking to him. What he felt in the moment he wanted to shout out loud until Caitlin stayed with him until he slept that night, barely. He had his whole life ahead of him.

Barry blinked a couple times before speeding to STAR Labs immediately seeing Cisco tinkering with with serious focus on a piece of Savitar's suit and Caitlin conducting an experiment with an intense focus that brought his spirits up. They looked heavy into their jobs they barely noticed Barry sped near the monitors.

"Hey guys," he said as they looked up, smiling politely.

"Aren't you supposed to take the day off bro? I know you heal like Wolverine but you could barely move yesterday."

Barry waved his hand off as if it was nothing. "No need, so, what'd you guys find?"

His phone rang again, this time it gave the ringtone and he turned it off immediately. He could hear Caitlin's curt cough.

"Sounds like Iris calling." Caitlin murmured. "My advice, focus on healing your body and mind. Last thing you need is more stress."

Barry smiled and blushed at her words. He never really noticed just how Caitlin spoke of Iris, especially. Like he could do so much better, she was jealous and he finally saw it with a clear head and heart. She could be protecting him like any friend would but she clearly was bothered by it more than Cisco for that matter.

"Thanks Caitlin, no phone calls today."

Caitlin narrowed her eyes as she briefly met eyes with Barry. "Shouldn't you be at home, in bed, healing? You took a brutal beating last night. Your pulse wasn't allowing you any recuperation. You know you need to rest."

Barry walked closer to where Caitlin sat, doing her testing. "I know, I'm better, really, you don't need to worry so much."

"I can't help it." She said, with feeling. She paused, blushing, "As your doctor it's recommended that you listen to me."

Barry watched as her hair fell in her eyes and he wanted to be the hand that pulled it away but she was quick to do it instead.

"Truth is, I've never felt better." Barry said, meaning every word.

He still felt his sides sting, but seeing Caitlin and his friends near him, the constant ache of Iris' wants, needs, and phony pep talks that only ever served her; not to mention Nora's screw ups and manipulations derailing his life, now gone; he felt a surge of positive energy that had been missing since he first had his abilities.

Caitlin grew annoyed with Barry's delivery just now. "Hmm, OK, well, Cisco and I are still working on our tests to try to figure out how to defeat Savitar. Hard to believe you are healed that quickly, I was sure that..." Caitlin raised her finger but Barry caught it.

"I'm fine, stop worrying so much. We're gonna defeat him, I'm sure of it." He said strongly, letting go of her hand.

"Yeah...I know that." She said above a whisper. "I'm just getting more coffee, be right back."

Caitlin stood up, turning redder than she had before. Barry observed this and knew he triggered something in her, something he was too ignorant and blind to see before. Caitlin looked adorable fussing with her hair and stood up to go to the break room.

Barry shared a look with Cisco who was pretending like he wasn't watching them intently. "Go after her, dude." He looked up and glared at him. "She wants you to."

Barry nodded and walked to where Caitlin stood with her back turned, shaking a coffee pouch on hand and nervously shaking the other. She looked scared and tired. Looking back he never truly realized how much of a toll all the work they did took on his friends. It was all about saving Iris; the old Barry wouldn't look twice at his friends.

"Look, I know you and Iris had a fight and this is just not the moment to bring more shit in your life but I think you should go talk to someone, like, your dad, Joe." Caitlin said, her voice uneasy.

"No." He said firmly. "I should be near my friends."

"Friends," Caitlin scoffed, the only true friend she had was Cisco, not even Julian. "What, seriously?"

"Yeah, you guys are my friends. We are a team. I want to talk to my friends."

Caitlin made the mistake of staring in Barry's eyes, much like she had before, but something was different. She saw wisdom, something familiar. Something real and tangible. Barry's eyes softened as he looked at her, his mouth tensing to hear her answer.

"We have a lot of work to do. This isn't like it was 3 years ago. Our lives have changed. We can't go back to the way it was, I told you this remember?"

"We stumble, we fall, but we don't have to be so distant to each other. My friends are my life, I didn't come this far for it to mean nothing. We need each other."

Caitlin looked down in shame, she hated how smart and profound he sounded. Like a man who owned his mind and thoughts, Barry seemed liberated, not fixated in one corner, or one person. But the bigger picture Barry was long gone after he created Flashpoint. That Barry was only thinking of his needs and obsessing over things and people who never loved him to begin with. This can't be the same, Caitlin refused to see it.

"So much has changed, Barry, like I said, we can't go back. Your life with Iris is..."

"What life with Iris?"

Caitlin rolled her eyes. "The life you always planned with her, that's why you've been so obsessed with saving her life. It's why nothing else matters to you. Dante dying, Cisco grieving, me...changing. It's always been about one person for you, everyone else for themselves."

Barry swallowed hearing Caitlin speak the truth. Hearing just how bad he was to them was really hurting him hard. He wasn't prepared to be cornered with the repercussions of his actions the minute he sped back to the past to try and fix what he broke but he was feeling the brunt of it's truth spear him pretty hard.

"I haven't paid the consequences, have I?" Barry held her eyes as he continued. "Is it too late? I'm here and I want to make it right. How can I do that?"

"Let's just focus on Savitar, the rest is trivial." Caitlin rushed out and made a move passed him but he caught her arm.

"No it's not. I told you how I feel about this. I want things to change. Iris is not my life, you are."

"Stop." She struggled to move her arm but he let her go before she could wrestle away. "I should have killed you in the pipeline."

Caitlin charged forward but Barry was on her tail. "But you didn't, right? Why? I deserve it more than anyone."

"You still do."

"You can't do it because you can't kill me. Caitlin, don't you get it? You still care. You feel just as strongly as I do. You always did."

Caitlin's mouth went dry, she struggled between letting Killer Frost stab him through the heart or letting Caitlin deal with her feelings. She knew how strong they were for Barry but she never expected him to notice, let out look at her the way he is now.

"No idea what you're talking about." She lied, finding her entire body shivering, her eyes glowed white and she felt the familiar icicle spear in her grip.

"Do it. I dare you. Kill me, Caitlin. This is your chance to make me pay for everything." He whispered in her ear, watching as she brought the spear up.

"Stop it Flash. You really fucked with my feelings. I don't care and I never will." Killer Frost's eyes glowed before she pulled the icicle back.

"You care, you know how I feel." Barry stood closer, giving her a fair chance to stab to kill him directly. "Go ahead."

Caitlin's mouth pressed together, she was looking at Barry's inviting lips, she tried to stare elsewhere but it wasn't working. Instead she did the unthinkable, she gave into her temptations. She closed the space between them and pressed her mouth against his, pushing away any tension she still held for him. She felt his heat draining but stopped as she heard his whimpering mummer call her name tenderly.

Barry pulled away knowing exactly what he had done and went in for another kiss, elongating his pleasure, passion and desire all once. He was so sure this would change everything, turn back all the wrongs. Make the future he wanted to happen.

Barry Allen, you will never be happy. Those words that once held meaning began fading away in his mind as he kept following his heart to true happiness.