Zombie

Y'know, doing this over and over, I'm starting to feel as brain dead as one of the dozens of zombies I've killed.

Go do this, 3A7. Go do that, 3A7. Don't question orders, 3A7. Like, seriously guys, I have a name you know. I get that you might want to keep confidentiality in the field and all that, but who do you think is listening in on Red Umbrella back at base? Pixies?

Wouldn't be so bad if they could conduct missions in a productive manner. Like, here's an idea – instead of sending me into a lab, or a village, or anything else once a day, why not just give me the objectives and let me do it in one go? Why give me only so much ammo one day, and so little the next? Why not actually send me with other members of the Umbrella Corps? Like, I know you're trying to model yourself on the USS (which is why I've got to wear this ridiculous gas mask), but didn't they, like, operate as a unit? In squads? In teams? Is your idea of victory really "send the lone guy in, make him do the same task over and over, hope he doesn't die, let's have a cold one?" Like, did you actually think this through?

I mean, these missions aren't easy y'know. Yeah, zombies are a dime a dozen, but those ganados…yeesh. Also, they keep getting up from bodies of goo. Really didn't know the T-virus or Las Plagas did that. Like, are you going to explain that to me? At all? Are you going to give me any rope? Don't worry, I'm not going to hang myself with it. Not yet at least.

I hope this changes soon y'know. I really do. Right now, I've infiltrated an Umbrella lab, a Tricell lab, and a Spanish village where people shout at me in Spanish with Mexican accents. I figure now, heading to the so-called dark continent, that things are going to change. That you're going to give me better weapons. A squad. Some fucking rope. Because after being told I'm headed to the Kijuju Autonomous Zone, I think that's a reasonable request. Yes, I know, two BSAA agents fought through hell and high water to kill Albert Wesker and save the world, but from what I understand, they had support teams as well. How'd that work out for them? I mean, just saying. You're still insisting I wear this clothing, but newsflash, Africa is bloody hot.

Anyone? Anything? No? Just going to send me in alone again? Fine. Whatever. I can take it. I mean, we've got T-virus samples, and Las Plagas samples, and majini are pretty much ganados in all but name, so obviously there's a new, very special reason for me being in this hellhole. It's got to be a reason that explains why I'm still wearing this gas mask, why I'm being forced to drip in sweat, and why I'm being sent in alone and-

You want me to collect thirty samples. Again.

…fuck you.

A/N

Why yes, I was playing through Umbrella Corps at the time of writing this, how could you tell?