The New Regulars

Summary: Sojiro Sakura thought that the weirdest was behind him: Wakaba's cognitive psience research, mental shutdowns, and Shibuya turning into a literal hellscape are all par for the course when you're the probation officer for the leader of the Phantom Thieves. But these new friends of Ren's are something else entirely, and Sojiro may not be prepared for that.

Chapter 1: The First Visitor

Steam rose from the cup along with the invigorating aroma of freshly brewed coffee. Sojiro Sakura sighed in satisfaction as he took the first sip of the day. The morning sun was bright, and the beams that could make its way through the minimal window space of Leblanc pulled their weight in brightening the normally dingy room.

Sojiro recalled that on one occasion, Haru had suggested removing the screen from the windows to brighten the place up, but Sojiro had declined. Yusuke, who also happened to be present, had agreed with Sojiro, on the grounds that the dreary atmosphere "served the aesthetics of the Sayuri" quite nicely. Sojiro didn't get half of what that kid went on about when he started talking about art, but he was glad that his "aesthetics" were appreciated. The argument had convinced Haru as well, who had said something about considering the virtues of low light when she finally opened her own cafe. Yusuke had vowed to paint her something that would suit the desired ambient light.

The smells of the coffee and curry still made Sojiro feel at ease. Mostly because they reminded him of Wakaba. That bittersweet pang rent his heart again. The one that he felt every time he looked at Futaba, or thought about curry. "But that would be all the time," you might say. And you'd be right. And it had only gotten worse since the kid had moved back home and taken that stupid cat with him.

He hadn't heard from Ren too much lately. He still checked in enough to assure the old man that he hadn't been forgotten, but he seemed busier lately. Sojiro couldn't help but worry. Ever since he'd discovered that calling card in Futaba's room, worry was part of his default mode of being. It didn't help that Futaba had been extra hyper lately, although she wouldn't say why. Late into the night, Sojiro could hear her giggling and cackling and squealing with delight, and on at least one occasion, he could have sworn he heard her cry "Yes! Final Smash time, Joker!"

Joker. It could have been a gaming thing Futaba was shouting about, but...Sojiro couldn't explain how, but he knew somehow that name meant Ren. Did this mean he was up to Phantom Thievery again? But that was impossible with the Metaverse gone. Or it was if Sojiro understood correctly, and that was far from a given. But if Ren was up to his shenanigans again, then why wasn't everyone else as on edge as Futaba? True, Ryuji was as bombastic as ever, but that was hardly unusual. Ann and Makoto were their usual selves too, so if something was going on, then only Futaba was through the roof about it, which didn't seem likely.

Sojiro was snapped out of his musings by the jingle of the bell that announced the arrival of a customer.

"Morning," Sojiro said, not looking up from his crossword puzzle. "Be with you in a sec."

"Take your time," came the reply. "Mind if I smoke in here?" It was an unfamiliar voice. Gruff, and a bit raspy. Perfect Japanese, but with a hint of an accent. A foreigner? Sojiro looked up. Indeed, this man looked as though he were part-Japanese, but he looked distinctly American.

"Go right ahead. You new in town?" Sojiro asked, folding up the newspaper and stuffing it into his apron. The newcomer was more interesting than the puzzle.

"Something like that," the man said as he sat down at the counter and lit up. "This isn't my first time in Tokyo, but I've never been in this neighborhood before."

There was an air of mystery surrounding him, but Sojiro, who usually found that sort of thing off-putting, couldn't help but instantly like this guy. At the very least, he clearly had good taste in cigarettes. They didn't give off much smoke, but what smoke was emanating from them was clearly the result of a low-tar blend.

"Well then let me welcome you to Yongen-Jaya with the best damn cup of coffee you'll ever have," he said proudly.

"I've heard great things about it," the man said. "Ren told me I should stop by."

Sojiro almost dropped the mug he'd taken to start the customer's brew.

"You're a friend of Ren's?" Sojiro said in surprise. "Should've known, that kid knows all kinds of people."

"You're Sojiro Sakura, right?" the man asked. "He talks about you a lot."

"Yeah, that's me," Sojiro said. "I didn't catch your name though."

"Name's David," the newcomer said, extending his hand.

"So how do you know him?" Sojiro asked as he shook David's hand.

"It's a bit hard to explain," David said.

"Trust me, after everything that kid and I have been through, not much surprises me," Sojiro chuckled.

"He did mention that you knew all the details of his…past enterprises," David said.

"Is he up to that sort of thing again?" Sojiro asked, a note of panic creeping into his voice. "I swear to God, if that kid gets himself killed…"

"It's not exactly that sort of thing," David said cryptically. "But it's along the same lines."

"So, what, is the Metaverse back?" Sojiro asked.

"I'm not 100% sure what that means," David said.

"But I thought you knew him from Phantom Thieving," Sojiro said, taken aback.

"Let me put it this way: I know Ren as Joker, and he knows me as Snake."

"Those like codenames?"

"Exactly. Joker was Ren's codename as leader of the Phantom Thieves. Mine was given to me by the U.S. Military."

"The Military?" Sojiro was impressed. "I don't know if Ren told you this, but I used to work in the government myself."

"He said something about it offhand," David said. "Something about cognitive research?"

"I was a liaison to a researcher, yeah," Sojiro said. "Don't know how much he told you about how that turned out."

"Nothing really. Like I said, it was just in passing."

"Ah, well it didn't turn out so well, and weirdly enough, it ended up having quite a bit to do with everything that happened when he was running around with the Phantom Thieves."

"I see. My background is…well, it's complicated."

"Oh yeah? Why don't you try me this time?"

Forty minutes later, Sojiro and David were laughing like old friends.

"So then he says that I got all the dominant genes, while he got all the recessive genes. And like I just told you, it's been a long day. I've been abducted from my home, and I'm worried about my dogs and whether this is going to make me miss the Iditarod. I've been shot at, attacked by a ninja, tortured by electrocution, bitten by wolf dogs, lied to by my best friend, and after all this, the only thing going through my head as I'm on the top of this smoking wreck with this maniac is: 'I don't think he knows how genetics work.'"

Sojiro let out a great bellow of a laugh.

"So what happened next?"

"Well, I beat Liquid in a fistfight, then got the hell out of dodge with Meryl. And Liquid still wasn't dead. Chases us down in a jeep, we crash, still not dead! And then finally after all of that, FOXDIE gets him."

"Wow. So what happened with Meryl? You two end up hitting it off?"

"For a little while," David said. He seemed a bit nostalgic. "Didn't last long though. What about you?"

"Nah, never married," Sojiro said. "But when I was young, hoo boy…"

"Ren mentioned you have a daughter."

"Adopted daughter. But I did love her mother very much."

"What happened?"

"She was killed." Sojiro had never really felt at ease talking about Wakaba's death. But David's life had been so crazy, Sojiro was starting to feel like he could talk about anything with him.

"She was the researcher you worked with, wasn't she?"

"Wakaba," Sojiro said, gazing into his mug of coffee. "Most brilliant woman I ever knew. There was no way I'd ever be good enough for her. But damn, am I lucky to have Futaba around."

"She's lucky too," David said. "Ren as well. He speaks very highly of you."

"Well it's good to hear he's not a complete ingrate," Sojiro snorted. It was at this moment that the bell rang again, and one of Sojiro's regulars entered.

"Mornin' Sakura-san," the regular greeted. "The usual, please."

"Coming right up," Sojiro said. He turned to David. "You're welcome to stay as long as you'd like."

"Thanks, but I should probably be going. I was in the neighborhood, so I thought I'd drop in and see if Ren was exaggerating. I mean, he's told everyone about you and this place."

"And? What'd you think of the coffee?"

"Best I've ever had."

"Well just for that, and for being the kid's friend, it's on the house."

"Thanks. I'll be sure to drop in again sometime."

"I look forward to it."

"Pleasure meeting you," David said as he put his cigarette out and stood.

"Likewise, David," Sojiro said. He found himself grinning. "Or, Snake."

Snake grinned back. It wasn't too often that somebody used that codename in such a quaint place as a cafe. He said a final goodbye and retreated into the Tokyo daylight.

Sojiro kept busy throughout the rest of the day, his mind still on the unexpected encounter. It was only as he was locking up that something occurred to him.

If Ren was telling "everybody" about Leblanc, what other kinds of characters could he expect a visit from? And just what the hell was Ren up to?!

Author's Notes: Wow, it's been a while since I've been so inspired by an idea that I write it within just a few hours. It's also been a while since I've wanted to write fanfiction that isn't super longform. Anyhow, this fic was inspired from me recently completing Persona 5 twice in anticipation of Joker joining the Smash roster, and also because I've been playing a lot of Metal Gear lately, and I think Snake and Sojiro would hit it off. It definitely owes a debt to the fic "Confidant Roulette" over at Archive of Our Own by vivvav. I was totally charmed by the slice of life kind of story where you see characters who don't normally interact have a little moment or two. So I've already got a plan for who's going to visit, and hopefully because this isn't a super big project, I'll actually be able to finish it in a reasonable time frame! Leave a review if you want to see more!