Twenty Century Fox— I mean, Fanfiction present~!

In association with Gamers Masters of The Wall—

Some Douchebag's Film

Starring:

A God's Perfect Idiot

A Hot Moody Teen

A Sexy Ice Queen

A Drugged French Killer

An Evil-Bitch Milf

A CGI Character

The Gratuitous Cameo

And the Manga Relief

—Produced by Asshat

Written by The Real Heroes Here~!

Directed by an Overpaid Puppet

Summary: The hero work could seen to be amazing to the normal peaple, and it is in certain way. But sometimes the world is ALWAYS is danger regardless how many times you save it… And I WOULD LOVE if it can be stay safe but apparently that's impossible! Nut you know what?! Fuck it! I'm out of this shit, I want vacations! I mean, it would be good if I can get some normalcy in this bizarre life of mine. Have a normal life at a normal school with actual NORMAL friends. And what better place than Honnōji Academy to achieve such normalcy?!

Tags: Adventure, Action, Supernatural, Romance, Sci-Fi, Comedy, Ecchi, Harem.

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Prologue:

I don't want to do this shit anymore!

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"I AM THE GREAT BEELZEBUD, A HIGH-RANK DEMON LORD! MASTER OF DARKNESS AND DEATH! ENTIRE ARMIES AND COUNTRIES FEAR MY VERY POWER! I HAVE KILLED DOZENS OF MEN, WOMEN AND HEROES ALIKE REGARDLESS THEIR STRENGTHS OR ABILITIES!" A malevolent being snarled to the seven heavens with fury in its voice.

That voice belonged to a great purple demon with the size of a skycapper. He also has two large black horns in his head and glowing blood-red eyes, four bat-like wings and dark mark on his arms and chest. He was wearing a heavy demon-knight armor and wielded a great claymore.

"I HAVE DEVOURED SEVERAL SOUL TO THE POINT I HAVE SURPASSED MY ORIGINAL POWER TENFOLDS! I HAVE AMASSED A HORDE OF DEMONS WITH THE GREATEST GENERALS ACROSS THE UNDERWORLD!" He roared with all his might while he shattered a small mountain in half with a blow of his large sword. "NO ONE COULD EVER HOPE TO BEAT MY ARMY, LET ALONE BEAT ME IN A ONE-TO-ONE COMBAT! EVEN TWO ARCHANGELS HAVE FALLEN BEFORE ME!"

This Demon Lord truly was one of the greatest in his realm. His aura was strong enought to alter the very wheater itself and create a storm powerful enough to annihilate a entire city. His strikes can destroy the largest fortresses in the realm and his sword can cut through a friggin MOUNTAIN. His own sizes was frightening.

He looked like a dreadful being… If he wasn't complaining like a ten-year-old kid at this moment.

"SO HOW—?!" He looked down to see his entire army defeated, bruised, battered, bloodied and almost destroyed completly "HOW DID SOME NAMELESS HALF-BREED BEST MY ARMY SINGLEHANDEDLY WITHOUT ANY DIVINE BLESSING AND USING JUST A RUSTED SWORD?!" Beelzebud bellowed as he watched a single human boy walking up to him, looking at him with a fox-like grin while he was eating an apple.

He was a sixteen-year-old guy around 5ft 6 in tall, he has spiky-short black hair with a white-silver streak in the left side of his head, his eyes are blue colored with slit pupils, he also has a burn scar across the left side of his face though it was barely visible (Like Starjun from Toriko). He wore an open red raincoat with a tight white T-shirt and black pants, and he wore dark blue sneakers. He had an old looking short boardsword resting in his shoulder.

"Hello there!" The young man greeted the Demon Lord as he finished his apple. Like greeting and old friend after a long time "Are you by any chances the Demon Lord that I have heard about?! I have been looking for you cuz you made a ruckus in my hometown with those demons invading my house for three days!... Also, sorry about your guys—Though it would be better if they put some fight, they were pretty weak, ya know?! Kakaka!"

The great lord gained a tick mark on his forehead "INSOLENT HALF-BREED! YOU DARE—?!"

"Hai hai! I dare! Guilty of charges!" He interrumpd the high lord with a cheerfully smile as he pointed at him with his index finger.

That only angered Beelzebud even more than before "YOU WICKED SPAWN! YOU SHALL KNOW YOUR PLACE! I, THE GREAT DEMON LORD BEELZEBUD, WILL CRUSH YOUR VERY SOUL TO THE CORE LIKE I DID TO THE MANY GREAT HEROES BEFORE YOU THAT DARED TO OPPOSE ME! YOU WILL FEEL THE TRUE MEANING OF THE AGONY AND DESPAIR LIKE YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE! YOU WILL FACE PUNISHMENT FOR YOUR TRANSGRESSIONS! THE POWER I HAVE BEEN GRANTED ARE BEYOND HUMAN RECKONNING! I WILL HAVE YOUR BODY IN A FEAST TO MY CHILDREN! I WILL DES—!"

"TIMES UP! I NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!" The black-haired teen suddenly cut him off as he runs towards a nearly tree.

"H-HUH?!" Beelzebud was speechless and utterly surprise to be so blatantly shouted out by a mere kid just to piss in a fucking tree.

"Sorry about that, buddy!" He said with a nervously and goofy grin "But it was too long! Keep you background and threats under twenty words! The writer is out of time and the readers will be a bored by some meaningless shout! It's just too annoying, dude! You sound like a Cartoon Villain!" He pouted like a child as he held his hand up on a stop gesture.

"…" The great demon blinked once, then twice. He simply stood still and stared blanky at the teen boy, not comprehending what just happened… Until his patience wavered and he exploded with rage "YOU LITTLE SCUM! I WILL KILL YOU IN THE MOST BRUTAL, PAINFUL AND GRUESOME WAY POSSIBLE! I WILL BLOW YOU OUT SO HARD THAT YOUR OWN FILTHY ANCESTORS WOULD LOOK AWAY IN SHAME!"

In the blink of a SUPERHUMAN eye, the great demon charged towards the teen and launched a series of hipersonic slashes onto the ground where the black-haired teen stood. Each one of his slashes and arcs have enough power to shatter small mountains and cracked the ground into hundreds of debris.

The strength. The speed. The power of the very blows were something no ordinary warrior or hero could hope to block, let alone Dodge.

However—

The boy on red dodged every one of them effortlessly. He yawned as he danced between the cuts and slashes with a speed that surpasses the lightning speed easily, not worried in the slightest way.

Beelzebud clenched his teeth as he tried even harder to land a blow and kill the boy, but the young man danced his attacks with a blank look. This frustetion knews no end as the Demon Lord hastened his attacks. His desires to kill the kid increassed each passing second. Sadly, no matter how fast or strong his attacks come in, he just couldn't hit the boy.

Though theorically even if his cuts or slashes never landed on the ground, the sheer air pressure generated by the blade would be enough to cut in half the boy's tiny body— But that wasn't the case.

The great Demon Lord changed his tactics and jumped back to has some distance with the boy and covered his body and weapon with a blazing dark aura. Then he slammed his sword in the ground and a dark energy blast was sent towards the 'hero'.

Naturally, the boy dodged the energy attack, whose power was great enough to wipe out a nearly mountain, and landed in the ground… Big mistake.

"Huh?"

Suddenly, a gigantic magic circle appeared below him covering almost the entire battlefield. And before he could do anything, the very gravity increassed several hundred times over. Trapping him in the ground while he tried to stood with a lot of effort.

The Demon Lord laughed "HAHAHAHAHAH! I WOULD HAVE PREFERRED A MORE FITTING PUNISHMENT TO YOU BUT I GREW WARY OF THIS MEANINGLESS NONSENSE!" He laughed at the misery of the 'hero' "NOW, IT'S TIME TO—?!"

"Worthless"

*KRRRRRRAAK!*

Beelzebud sword were flung apart abruptly, causing him to lose his balance ans stumbled backwards. The Dark Lord looked speechlees as the boy shattered the very magic circle with a single blow of his sword.

The black-haired teen stood up and looked at the Overlord with a carefree grin "Well, I have to say that that trick of yours almost got me there if I haven't used Worthless on it" He said scratching his head with a cheerful smile.

"W-WHAT KIND OF SORCERY IS THIS?!" Beelzebud was truly flabbergasted. It was inconceivable for a mere half-breed – Let alone a kid – to posses such kind of power.

The boy shrugged "Meh, it just a little trick a learned a few years ago from an old friend of mine. I can negate most magic, energy and CONCEPTUAL attacks making them… Well, Worthless. Though I have to understand the attacks before hand if I want to fully negate it" He explained as he stretched his right arm in a rotation motion "If I'm honest with ya. You are pretty strong, I admit it, and I would love to continue with this… Sadly, I have things to do so I will end this fight right now. There's a special event going on with a bakery shop I love and would hate to miss it and not get any sweets" He added with a feral grin as he held his rusted weapon firmly.

"I'M A DEMON LORD FROM THE UNDERWORLD THAT HAD CONQUERED SUCCESSFULLY A GREAT PORTION OF THIS REALM! MY ARMY HAD THE GREATEST GENERALS! AND YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT THE SWEETS IN THE HUMAN REALM?! SERIOUSLY?! EVEN THE SWEETS IN THE UNDERWORLD ARE BETTERS!"

"Well… A guy like me need to eat. And there is nothing more important then food. Food is life. Food is power. And the Author of this lame fic needs to speed up the events so I need to return to my hometown" The kid replied cheerfully as he placed his hands on his hips.

"… THAT'S IT! I WILL ERASE YOUR VERY EXISTENCE!" Beelzebud's boiling point had reached its breaking point and shot up beyond it. He flew to the mid air and gathered a large amount of demonic energy in his blade "THIS WILL BE YOUR END, YOU SCUMBAG!"

The boy stopped smirking and narrowed his eyes on the giant monster. His playfulness was put away, a serious side of his personality was showed and a blazing crimson-red aura surrounded his body.

At that moment, the boy's very body changed into a more demonic form, though the form itself was shadowed by the condensed red aura surrounding him.

"PURGATORY—!" The Overlord charged a lot more of demonic energy.

The sky turned into a dark-purplish color as the power of the Demon Lord raised more a more. Lightnings fell on the ground creating holes on the earth. Whirlwinds was gathered around the great demon. Earthquakes were spreaded across the land.

But the young man never flicked and just stared at the Overlord with a dull look.

"BLAAAAASTER!"

A gigantic torrent of compressed demonic energy shot out of the Overlord's sword as he wielded his sword toward the young warrior standing on the ground. The force transmitted was enough to exterminate a great mountain range and turn it into a giant hole... But the young hero did not flinch.

Instead of standing aside or blocking the attack, the demon boy moved his shoulders slightly and let out two huge draconian wings. And then he flew towards the explosion of energy.

Anyone could call this action a sure suicide. And technically speaking it was almost certain that this was the case, even the young warrior would suffer serious injuries if he received such an attack.

But still. Why didn't he try to evade the attack? Why?

The answer was simple. He could face the energy cannon fire but not with brute force but with—

"Worthless!"

Waving his rusty sword, the young warrior dissipated the wild stream of demonic energy and reduced it to nothing.

"W-WHAT?!" The shocked expression on the Overlord's face was understandable. Who would have thought that his strongest attack could've been reduced into nothingness?! Preposterous! That made nosense!

Though— That was the less of his problems right now.

"Now, I will destroy you" The teenager's voice was distorted along with his appearence. Now he looked like a true demon, though his own figure was still shadowed by his own blazing aura.

Unconsciously, the Overlord receded when he heard the cold words coming out of the mouth of the transformed teenager, who watched him coldly as his sword began to be lined with a red and golden aura of fire and electricity.

The teenager lifted his weapon over his shoulders and a pillar of energy emerged from the sword until it reached the same night sky and illuminated it as if it were the same sun. An orange crimson light of immeasurable power.

It was a light that reflected a destructive, savage force born of anger and chaos. A weapon that contained the hatred and fury of its bearer.

"Black Extinguish Slayer!"

The teenager arched his back and then unleashed a curved cut that cut through all the clouds in his path and fell toward the Overlord like a great Tsunami ready to eliminate the enemies.

"IM-IMPOSSIBLE! NO ONE CAN BEAT ME! I AM A DEMON LORD! I AM THE GREATEST BEING IN THE DEMON REALM AND MY VERY POWER CAN—?!" The Demon Lord shouted with fear and fury as he stated his own supremacy.

But all he received was the cold, sharp air that preceded the great storm of electrified fire from the young man's attack. And then, the Demon Lord was split in half as if his body was made of paper.

And soon, the Demon Lord's body was engulfed by the energy blast. His very soul and body were shattered by the might of the blow and he was disintegrated into ashes.

Seeing his enemy defeated, the young boy returned to his human form and let out a dissapointed sigh "Well, another one bites the dust… Again. Now that I thing about it, this entire business of mine it's kinda boring now" He muttered to himself.

He landed on a small hill to contémplate the sun rise. In times like this he always wondered what would have happened if he chose to have a normal life. His cheerfully smirk gradually faded away as he remembered his young days.

Ever since he was a kid, it was his reponsability to hunt demons and monster alike around the world. He's been going off on adventures, one after another, saving his hometown and the world on a few ocassions. That kind of life was the life he had lived as the years passed and now he hardly had any time to himself anymore… And he doesn't even have girlfriend – And therefore, he still a virgin goddammit!

No matter how many times he saves the world. He always has to do the hero job and help the innocent… And he wants a fucking vacation!

"That's it. Since this day I hereby declare that I, Edward Redgrave, will retire for the Hero Job! I WANT A NORMAL LIFE FOR NOW ON!" He announced with a booming voice as he outstretched his arms to the skies "I AM OFFCIALLY RETIRING—Until I decide to come out of retirement at least!" He quickly added.

But the next question on his mind was… How the fuck will he accomplish that?! How the hell will he become normal and make actual normal friend?! He has been mostly homeschooled his whole life, the only ways to meet another teenager were the summer camps, a Music Festival, a Movie Theater, a beach or—

At that moment, a light bulb lights above his head as an idea appeared on his brain "Oh, I know! The school! I have never been on a school before but I'm almost sure that's where most normal peaple around my age go to! Studing, after school programs, movies, arcades, highschooler's romances, beautiful girls! It's perfect! Yes! That's what I'm gonna do!" He said with a goofy grin.

He needed a break from his bizarre life and the school was the better chance he has to obtain it!

"Yes! This will be the better chance I have and I'm pretty sure that guy will help me!" He snapped his fingers as a dark-reddish portal appeared beside him. He took a hop and skip away from his current location to the next destination.

Edward psyched himself up with excitement. This is a great idea! What could possibly go wrong?!

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"Edward Redgrave, it's good to see you again my boy" A middle-aged man with dark hair and mustache, dressed in a black bussiness suit, announced calmly as he waved his hand to the teen in his office.

"Greetings to you to, Mr. Prime Minister whose name I don't remember! It's been a while since the last time with met each other, huh?!" The black-haired teen said cheerfully as he greeted the older man "I hope you've been doing alright lately. I'm pretty sure there is no Evil ones bothering you anymore!"

The elder man sighed at the boy's antics but smiled anyway "Well, I can thank you for that though you could have restrained yourself that time. You almost blow up the Mt. Fuji while you were fighting a demon, you know?" He replied with a faint smirk.

"Hey! It's not my fault that it was a Demon Lord level monster! Sometimes I have to be rough with them!" He snarled like a little kid.

The Prime Minister just sighed as he shook his head "Well, that aside, what do you need for me this time? I hope that you don't want another legendary weapon because—"

"I would like to attend to a school" Edward said with a serious expression on his face.

"… Come again?" The elder man blinked at the odd request "What do you mean by 'go to a school'?"

"Your are not deaf! You know what I mean!" He shouted with seriousness "I would like to you to recommend me to any school in this country of yours!"

The Prime Minister arched an eyebrow "And pray tell me why would you want something like that? I though you enjoyed your current life-style of yours. Going out on adventures and being a Hero is YOUR thing"

"That's exactly the problem I have!"

"Huh?"

The boy sighed "Look, I'm just tired of being a hero. I DO like helping others and I like a LOT fight strong opponents. But as the time passed I grew bored of this life-style… I'd never thought I will say this but I don't want to be a Hero anymore, I'm SUPER bored of this shit. Everything I have done is save the world over and over again! I want a break for God's sake! So that why—" He paused as he pointed to the sky while keeping his eyes locked with the Prime Minister "—I want to retire and go on vacation!"

"By going to school?" The Prime Minister raised an eyebrow.

"Exactly! The most logical way to go on vacation is by going to school!"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure THAT is the opposite choice for most peaple" The Prime Minister sweatdropped. The he sighed and shook his head, but he has a faint smile on his face "Well then again, this boy is not like MOST peaple"

The Minister opened up one of the documents on his desk and looked through them "Even if I say no, I'm sure you will NO listen to me… And I owe you a great debt for saving my niece so getting you into a school is a child play for me" He said with a fatherly smile.

"Yay~!" The boy jumped up in a glee of excitement that ill-benefit his own age. Behaviouring that way, he looked like a little kid.

The Prime Minister couldn't help but smile at the boy's cheerful actitude and then coughed "However, I must warm you. Recently most school in the region have, for a lack of a better term, closed down" The older man replied with a sour look.

"Wait wha—?! What happened?"

"Well, apparently, someone called the 'Kanto Vagabond, The Guitar Case Drifter' has been going through the Kanto region making a friggin ruckus, and the schools were destroyed as a result" The Prime Minister commented with a grimace.

"…What?" The goy was in shock at that statement. He just gaze blanky at the Minister before he recomposed himself and jumped onto the desk and grabbed the documents while scanning through the pages as fast as a lightning. When he finished, he gave the Prime Minister a schocked and angry look "So you are telling that there is NO school around here I can attend?!"

The Minister scratched his head awkwardly "Well… Actually… There is one school you can attend. Naniwa Kinman High School is open if your are interested"

The boy glanced at the page detalling it and grimace "Ugh… It's a fucking oversophisticated school for rich peaple!? No thanks! There is too much hassle to pay for books, not to mention the snobby folks that I most likely will run into" Edward trew away the documents with a snarl "There are no other options for me?"

The Prime Minister rubbed his chin in thought "Hmm… Now that I think about it. You can go to Honnōji Academy" Tha got Edward attention and made a gesture to the older man to go on "It's a prestigious school where all classes of life are welcome. You will learn the necessary skills needed to success in life. The finest in theaching curriculums and activities to model you into the perfect student—At least that's what the fliers and publicity says" The man said while looking at a flier and made a great sigh.

It may look like a great opportunity but the Prime Minister was almost sure that a school like that was completely incompatible with Edward's alignment. The teenager is just a wildcard that loves his freedom too much and will never apply there.

"… So basically, it has clubs, classes, and is available for common peaple?... That sounds so normal—" The blue-eyed boy stared at the flier with an 'Are you serious?' look.

The older man was certain that Edward will toss away the flier or will burn i tinto ashes… But the next thing he heard was absolutely bizarre.

"—AND I LOVE IT!"

"Excuse me?!" The elderly man almost choked his breath.

"This is so perfect! I've been looking for a place like this for a while and now it's in my reach?! That's amazing!" Edward exclaimed in joy as he watched at the Prime Minister with a cheerful smirk "Mr. Prime Minister please give me a recommendation to apply to this school!"

"Are… Are you serious? I know there are only two schools in the region that's still intect and has spots available. But, surely there's something better than this. What about America? I'm pretty sure there's a lot of school there" The older man—who was still shocked—eyed the teenager with a deadpan look.

"Nope~!" He denied with X-crossed arms "Way too crazy schools back home and there's a lot of monsters around the whole country, and let's not talk about Daten City! Besides, the writers already have plans for the others regions. Also, I want to take a chance t olive a normal life without craziness and constant battles. This place is the perfect match for me, and who knows… Maybe I could get a girlfriend—Or a harem—and finally get laid for once. So I'm attending this school, end of the story!"

The man looked at the young man for a few second and give a defeated sigh "Fine…" He scratched his hair as he took the documents "I will sing the papers to enroll you there"

"YES! DO YOU HEAR THAT MISTER POOL! I'LL FINALLY GET LAID—I mean, thank you so much sir!" The boy bowed crazily at the Minister and then he jumped through the window "Finally, at long last! I'll be going to a normal school! No more monsters and demons! I will make actual friend like the normal peaple do and more importantly… I will have the chances to get a girlfriend—or girlfriends— and I gonna get rip of the stupid nickname 'Forever Alone'!" He literally shouted as he descended to the ground making a superhero landing with a cheerful actitude. Though he landed on a car that belonged to—

"Oh come on! It's the fifth time in this week! I haven't even paid for it!" The Prime Minister yelled with waterfall like tears running through his eyes.

While the poor man was crying for the 'death' of his car, Edward was walking through the street with a cheerfully smile while he was listening a song through his I-Pod.

He was ready for a new adventure full of romance, action and possibility an encounter with an Old man named Stan and Lee.

"I feel so unsure. As I take your hand, and lead you to the dance floor

As the music diez. Something in your eyes. Calls to mind a silver screen. And all its sad goodbyes

I'm never gonna dance again. Guilty feet have got no ehythm. Though it's easy to pretend. I know you are not a fool

I should have known better, than to cheat a friend

Ans waste a chance, that I'd been given.

So I never gonna dance again The way I danced with you – Ooh… "

And that was the beginning. The start line for a great adventure full of romance, action, suspense and comedy. A story that wasn't appropiate by guy below 28 years old.

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PROLOGUE END

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Well, this is the prologue to this project I've been working on. I had planned to make a tough character with a dark past but then I thought 'Hey, now that I think about it, it would be much better to have a big mouth protagonist like Deadpool but with demonic power'. Imagine the problems and situations he will get himself into because of his big mouth and vulgar vocabulary...

The end result... Edward Redgrave. A demon hunter who has done the work of a hero for a long time (since his childhood he was gutting demons, paedophiles, racists, millennians and bloodthirsty monsters). But he got bored and fed up with his work because he hasn't known another life... The truth is, when you work as a hero for so long, life becomes monotonous and every man or woman wants a break and have a normal life.

And if you are wondering, yes, he is related to Dante... And the Sparda brothers will make an appearance in the future, as well as Nero, Trish, and other characters from the DMC saga.

And no, he won't be excessively OP... But he will be more powerful than most of the characters in the series with the exception of Nui Harime and Kiryuin Ragyo. But if he were to use his Devil Trigger to the fullest power from the beginning, well, he would have a higher power than Nui.

I want to point out that this story happens years after Devil May Cry 5.

I hope you like this story, and leave your comments and suggestions so I can improve the plot of the story. You can recommend new weapons and skills, from Conceptual weapons to living armor.

Also, I will do a Semi-SI Fanfic of Fate/Stay Night (Nasuverse) in the future. It will be similar to Fate-Creed, that Crossover Fanfic between Fate/Stay Night and Assassin's Creed.