Thanks for all the love, I honestly thought I'd be writing this fic for just one person and never expected it to get so many favs and follows so soon, so I uploaded the next chapter sooner than I would have usually and I hope you guys enjoy it.

Reasons

6K words

The lastest operation undertaken by the Black Knights, a mission that entailed an attack on a small fleet of Brittanian escorts transporting Area Elevens new Viceroy, had failed miserably to the personal dismay of the Black rebellions leader. The only purpose and objective of the mission had been the capture of the new Viceroy, but certain events lead to the mission being a bust.

One of the Brittanian air ships sustained heavy damage and ended up crashing into the flagship he and his little sister had been on at the time. (Episode 3 of R2, Anya shoots down the ship before it can crash into the flagship, but in this fic she isn't present to do that for obvious reasons)

He hadn't even had the chance to finish conversing with his sister let alone had enough time to capture her. Then of course Suzaku showed up just in the nick of time to steal Nunnally away, interfering with his plans as only he had shown himself so capable of doing time and time again.

The ground work for the Black Knights next operation was already being seen to which left him with nothing to do but wait for the pieces to fall into play. Evading detection by the spies put in place at Ashford and dwelling on his own failure were all he could do at present and it was as he dwelled on the failure of the last mission his own personal failures seemed to make themselves bigger.

He was supposed to protect Nunnally, yet not only did he fail to do that, but his plan to capture her resulted in her life being placed in danger. If the support ship that crashed into the flagship combusted as it did so everyone on board would have likely died in the explosion. It was only by a stroke of luck it hadn't happened and it wasn't missed on him that this was one of few possible scenarios he'd choosen to ignore.

"Perhaps I'm too confident for my own good. I failed to plan accordingly for every contingency and in the end my short sightedness could have very well cost Nunnally her life."

"Brooding like that over things will cause you to age quickly you know." C.C said interrupting his mental dialogue. She wondered if he was even aware of exactly how long he'd been sitting there scowling at nothing as he mentally berate himself.

Lelouch took a moment to glance in her direction but he didn't reply. His mind was occupied with too many thoughts at the moment to take bantering with the witch into consideration. He wondered exactly how Nunnally felt while being used as a puppet of the Brittanian empire.

Was she eating enough? Did anyone ever spend any quality time with her to keep her from feeling lonely? Did she feel like he'd abandoned her? Did Brittanian nobility look upon his sister with scorn and animosity same as they did his mother simply because she'd been born to a commoner woman?

"Will you give it a rest already? I can practically hear your brow furrowing from all the way over here and it's annoying."

Lelouch lifted his head again and fixed the witch with a glare wondering why she seemed to take pleasure in grating on his nerves. Knowing that he was likely to lose any kind of verbal battle with the aggravating immortal woman he stood placing his mask back on his face and moving towards the door.

"Heading back to Ashford are we?"

"No." He answered knowing he needed to head back soon least the spies placed there for him get suspicious. "Just taking a walk around the ship to help me clear my mind."

C.C gave him no conformation that she heard him. She simply watched the doors close behind him before deciding she should have told him to have some pizza brought up from the chief before he left.

0o0o0o0o0o

Lelouch wandered aimlessly around the sub for a while paying no attention to anything other than his thoughts till he found his feet landing on the familiar grated floor of the lower deck.

He realized he'd somehow ended up on the lower levels and where he currently stood was only a short walk away from the cell that held Anya Alstreim.

Without meaning to he began asking himself the same questions that'd swam through his mind when considering the condition of Nunnally under the care of Brittania.

Was the girl eating enough under the care of the Black Knights? Did anyone ever spend any measure of time with her just to keep the girl sane? Surely she felt unbearably lonely and cut off from the world spending hours on end within an empty cell within an empty prison block. Did she feel as if she had been abandoned by her country? Did those who worked underneath him look upon her with scorn and animosity simply because she wasn't of the same nationality as them?

He had no more reason to speak with the Knight considering he was sure she'd told the truth when she said she knew nothing he likely didn't already know or wasn't capable of finding out. Yet he still decided he'd go speak with her just to see how she was holding up and to inquire if she needed anything more than what she'd been provided.

As his feet carried him along the grated floor towards her cell he couldn't help but play back pieces of their previous conversation in his head.

"The justice you seek is personal and I don't doubt it has something more to do with some kind of personal revenge against Brittania than it does with freeing Japan."

She was wrong about that of course even if he hadn't readily told her as much. The justice he sought was more so for Nunnally's sake than anything else. Perhaps personal revenge was one of his primary motivations as well but revenge was too petty a motive to truly inspire Lelouch to jump through the hoops currently facing him.

"Getting your hands dirty as Zero does nothing to keep the blood from staining your soul."

She was right about that and he never tricked himself into believing otherwise.

"Zero and whoever you are aren't separate people but just a tool you use to satisfy your own goals."

That last little comment had actually made him think a bit. He'd always unwittingly disassociated the identity of Lelouch Lamprouge with that of the mask that was Zero. Lelouch Lamprouge was just a face without a soul, a mask without a true purpose aside from keeping his little sister as safe as he could. Lelouch Lamprouge had always had the same goals as Zero, but until he'd been gifted the power of Geass those goals had always been rather far off if not out of reach entirely.

Zero was the tool by which he would accomplish all his goals and Lelouch Lamprouge was the tool by which he lived his life. Lelouch Vi Brittania was long dead, gone with the death of his mother. In essence Lelouch had never really been alive...not since the death of his mother years ago. But this was something he'd been painfully aware of for some time now.

What was somewhat new to him was the fact that in truth Lelouch Lamprouge was just as much of a mask if not even more so of a false identity than Zero. As Zero he worked avidly towards his true goal's and desires, while as Lelouch he lied to himself and the rest of the world by living the life of a common school boy forced to do nothing while the world continued on as if a great injustice hadn't befallen his mother and precious little sister.

As Lelouch Lamprouge he did nothing but act out the life those around him expected him to live, almost as if he was still a noble of the court. Far away from the Brittanian homeland as he was and still he could not escape the countries influence. As Zero however he wasn't subject to a role so simple as that of an actor.

As Zero he WAS the show.

The lead actor, the script writer, the producer, and the film studio that provided the budget. Every moment he spent working towards the image of a better world he wished to create for Nunnally under the mask of Zero was a moment he was allowed to be his true self. Zero might have been a fake identity meant to symbolize nothing, but he was truer to who to the former prince really was than Lelouch Lamprouge could ever hope to be.

He grinned a bit as more of Anya's words came back to him.

"Are you just an escapists who finds solice in these new personas you create for yourself, or are you just some unlucky noble who didn't have a choice?"

Perhaps he was a little of both he reasoned. An escapists who found comfort in the mask that defined everything he was, and an unlucky prince who'd had nearly everything he ever cared about ripped away from him within the span of a single night.

"Like I said, that doesn't change the fact that your mask is just as much of a lie as most of your smiles likely happen to be."

He only just realized how wrong that comment had been. Zero was his true face, not the face he wore beneath the mask. Lelouch was simply the vessel in which he he lived his life, but Zero was the vessel by which he would change the world and accomplish everything for his little sister that he ever wanted. Perhaps it was a bit selfish to want to change the world for a single person, but those of noble and royal blood within the Brittanian empire had a history for apathy towards others and why should he be any different he reasoned.

Without Zero he was only Lelouch Lamprouge who was incapable of creating an ideal world for Nunnally. Without Lelouch Lamprouge he was only Zero who was incapable of enjoying said ideal world with the sister that defined his entire existence. With that logic in mind he would choose Zero over Lelouch any day. He'd rather change the world to Nunnally's benefit than to keep living in it the way it was currently. His sister could only ever be a pawn or a tool to serve others in this world.

"My point is this persona of yours and your real identity are one in the same. Neither man can cover for the sins of the other, rather they share them."

That much was true and as he faced down that truth he was also forced to face the possibility that should Nunnally ever discover that he was Zero she would likely never forgive him for all the deaths he caused throughout his black rebellion as it was called. He could say he did it for her and she would say she would have been just fine living with him as they were at Ashford.

"Most of your smiles are likely fake. The kind that only reach your eyes because you want them to."

"They are." He admitted to himself coming to a stop in front of the cell that housed the Knight who'd managed to provoke his thoughts in such a way. "Every smile to mark my face since that day at the Aries Villa has been a lie. All but the smiles I spared for Nunnally."

"As it is she's now a pawn of the Empire. I have no more reason to keep up the charade of being Lelouch Lamprouge, other than the fact that Nunnally will be used against me if it's discovered I've recovered my memory."

Leaving his thoughts for a later time he gazed inside the cell, eyes landing upon the sleeping figure of Anya still dressed in her uniform. After another confirming she was truly asleep rather than just laying down and attempting to rest he felt a bit of disappointment, having been looking forward to the conversation he'd been likely to share with the enigmatic Knight.

"I should remember to have someone bring her a suitable change of clothes." He remarked to himself noticing her Ashford academy uniform was now slightly wrinkled from sleeping in it the past five days. "It wouldn't do to place her in uncomfortable prisoners rags like the Brittanians. But leaving her to wear the same thing indefinitely won't do either." He thought turning and beginning to walk away.

The sound of the bed shifting inside the cell brought his feet to a stop only just after he'd taken his first step in the direction he'd come. Nothing was said but Lelouch felt without turning around that the Knight had awoken. He turned and the eyes he hide behind the mask landed on the cool and sleepy gems that were the eyes of the Knight of six.

Again he was lost for a moment as felt her eyes throw him for a loop. The light in them that one would think represented the light of the girls soul was so dim, yet the eyes themselves were so vibrant and full of depth. Eyes like that would never fail to draw his interest and as the two beheld one another neither of them made a sound or moved an inch all was completely silent and still on cell block C-1. Lelouch continued to stare finding himself somewhat transfixed by her gaze and Anya continued to stare somewhat transfixed by the man's presence.

"Are you being treated well?" He asked breaking the silence and turning back around to stand in front of her cell fully.

Anya nodded her head having nothing bad to say about her treatment at the hands of her captors. She was feed as often as she liked, allowed to use the bathroom as much as she needed, and left alone for the most part with none of the Elevens glaring or saying hateful things to her like she'd expected upon being brought into the cell she now inhabited.

"Aside from having no spare clothes and nothing to occupy myself with I can't say that I've been treated badly."

Lelouch smiled a bit at the comment wondering if she'd been making an attempt at being humourous or if she'd been serious.

"Yes, I'd just made a mental note to have someone provide you with extra clothing. As far as entertainment goes what is it you had in mind?"

One would've expected the Knight to look surprised or even hopefully at this but her face was just as unfazed as it always was as she replied.

"The small device on my person that was taken from me when I was captured would be enough."

Lelouch felt somewhat surprised she'd ask for such a thing. There were multiple reasons why no general or lieutenant with any common sense would choose not to grant such a request from a prisoner.

"You don't mean the one that let's you record archive and catalogue anything you see do you? The one that also happens to double as a communicator correct?"

"Yes." Anya nodded wondering how his knowing of the custom made device was so extensive. "I recognize I'm your prisoner and granting me such would be foolish..but staring at the walls of my cell and sleeping all day is boring. I won't use it to contact anyone if I'm allowed to use it."

"What makes you think my men still have it? It would have been most prudent to destroy any technology found on your person considering the military would use it to track you if they could."

Anya's eyes widened and Lelouch saw her face display emotion for the first time.

"They...destroyed it?" The knight whispered surprising Zero as her eyes flashed with an emotion he equated with the feeling of lose.

"So there was a tracker in it then?" He questioned figuring her reaction was an effect of her realizing her chances of rescue were slim to none.

Anya's eyes grew even dimer than usual and she didn't answer. The caged Knight pulled her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them as she'd done the last time they spoke, only now she truly seemed to be hugging herself rather than just adopting a comfortable position.

"You need not to worry about your chance of rescue fleeing you." Lelouch said attempting to make the now crestfallen girl feel comfortable. "No one here will hurt you as long as they don't have a reason to, I assure you."

Anya remained silent and after around a minute of waiting for a reply or a of response that never came her down trodden attitude began to bother Lelouch.

"She's already been down here two days so I'm sure that if Brittania had anyway to rescue her they would have already attempted to do so already which I'm sure she knows. So then this couldn't be about a lose of hope at being rescued could it?"

"Did the device really mean so much? What is it that truly bothers you?" He inquired hoping to help her feel better if he could seeing as he'd caused her walls to fall in the first place.

Anya looked up and Lelouch was surprised to see her face hadn't switched back into the usual mask of total detachment she wore usually. Instead her expression seemed saddened, and almost hurt as if she was dealing with the lose of something substantial or even a loved one. He'd begun to think the girl was incapable of feeling after their last meeting, but perhaps she was just very adept at hiding her emotions.

To Anya's surprise she was feeling a number of things at the moment. All of them being things she would rather not feel, causing her to briefly wonder if this is how it was to be human. Being bombarded with bothersome emotions you'd rather not deal with while the greater of the emotions such as happiness and joy constantly evaded you.

She didn't want to feel these things and she didn't want to explain herself to the terrorist in front of her. However she'd never before had someone ask what was wrong with her and she couldn't help but jump at the rare opportunity she had to confide in another person what she was actually feeling, seeing as she usually didn't feel anything beyond the simplest of emotions.

"I have no memory what so ever of the first few years of my life, and beyond that, when it comes to the years I can remember there are just holes. It's like my mind just decides to forget certain things at times and no one can tell me how or why it happens. As a way to retain my memories of my life and who I am I started keeping a video log in case I forget years and years of my life again." She paused to observe exactly what it was she was feeling and came to the sound conclusion that it was sadness.

"With those video logs gone so is the last few years of my life and so is any ties I could ever have to who I am in the case that I might forget sometime in the future." Anya finished.

"Entire years of her life forgotten? That sounds like the work of a particular Geass." Lelouch silently fumed thinking about his father. "But why erase her memories? For what reason could this girl be special enough for my father to use his Geass on her more than once?"

Silence fell on the nearly empty cell block again as the two were both currently occupied by their thoughts. Anya reeling at the lose of her memories while wondering how she'd go about retaining her identity should she black out and forget herself again. Lelouch pondering any possible connections besides that of a Knight that this girl could have to his father.

It didn't take more than a few moments after her admission to Zero for Anya to get past her initial distaste of the feelings that accompanied her lose. Instead of feeling sorry for herself she began to analyse how she felt deeply, keeping her mind on the subject to prolong the feeling.

"Anya." Lelouch called startling her slightly and drawing her out of her task. "While it may not be of any help, you should know that memories are not enternal. It is the feeling they give that holds true merit. Once you've started to create new memories you are fond of the old one's will no longer seem so important."

Anya took a few moments to absorb his words and digested the meaning, finding herself surprised when she concluded he was attempting to make her feel better.

She didn't understand Zero at all she realized. He was her enemy and logically he should desire to see her broken so he could use that to his advantage, yet he'd just proven that that wasn't what he wanted. It was rather confusing and the thought of someone she didn't know personally going to uch lengths of her made her feel funny, but this feeling as it was felt more so foreign than the others.

It was actually rather pleasant if not a bit confusing in nature. She didn't know what it was but she relt grateful for being able to feel it. She briefly wondered why Zero seemed so adept at making her feel, but she quickly attributed it to all the new external stimuli opening her mind up to new things she wouldn't have felt before.

"Thank you." She said unaware of the small smile pulling her lips up and causing Lelouch to do a double take. "I never expected a terrorist to try and help me feel better about my situation."

"I can't recall ever seeing a smile so resplendent before." He said to himself not including Nunnally or his mother in his observation.

"A terrorist likely wouldn't have offered you any comfort but as I said before, me and my organization like to think of ourselves as knights of justice. It's the Brittanian military that's branded us as terrorist when in truth all we've ever done is assist those who need it and take steps towards freeing Japan."

"And if you succeed in the liberation of area eleven who will serve as the countries leader?" Anya asked pleasing Lelouch greatly with how quickly she was able to recover. "What form of government will you establish?" She pressed.

"That is not for me to decide." Lelouch answered feeling surprisingly mirthful with the rise in the Knights mood. "The Japanese can rule themselves however they see fit. My goal is the complete eradication of the Brittanian royal family. After I've accomplished that changing the world to better suit my desires should be moderately more manageable."

"So that is what you seek? To change the world?" She asked without the smallest hint of skepticism.

"Yes." He answered easily.

"And that's why Brittania is your enemy? You hope to eliminate the strongest player and then clear the board?"

"And what knowledge would you possess of board games dear Anya?" Lelouch mused to himself.

"I suppose." He answered leaving his other reasons out. Maybe Anya knew she was hiding something because she raised a brow at his answer. If she knew he wasn't telling her the whole truth though she chose to inquire no further into that specific subject.

"To what end do you wish to change the world? Is global conquest your final ambition?"

"I only seek to change the world for the greater good and the thought to dominate or subdue it never truly crossed my mind. Perhaps global conquest would see me advance further towards my goals but in all honesty the thought scarcely ever crossed my mind."

"To what end do you seek to change the world? What exactly would you call your greater good Zero?"

Lelouch paused for a minute somewhat surprised by how she'd caught on to his skillful evasion of her true question.

"To make it a better place." He admitted reminding himself that this girl was likely the most perceptive person he'd mean baring C.C and his mother.

Her eyes became thoughtful and Lelouch ceased to think for a moment just allowing himself to observe her in silence.

"Maybe the better world you seek isn't the best world for everyone." She commented after a few beats of silence.

"Perhaps it isn't but it will be for the only person that matters." He replied almost immediately.

"So he does this all for one person. Love truly is the greatest source of motivation one can experience besides fear." She thought finally having an example to go of off.

"She must be really special." She remarked surprising Lelouch.

"How do you know it's a she?" He asked suspicion slipping into his tone.

Anya raised an eyebrow giving him a look that said the answer should be obvious.

"Isn't it always a female who motivates a man to go beyond the usual scope of their abilities and risk there lives for something they may or may not achieve?"

Her words brought a moment of pause from the banished prince and he grinned behind his mask allowing himself a silent chuckle at her insightful words.

"I suppose you are right." The man behind the mask replied with a hint of amusement before his voice because softer. "She is indeed very special."

Anya could hear the fondness in his voice as he spoke and it made her envious to a small measure. She wondered what it would be like to have someone who loved her so fiercely they decided to change the world with her well being in mind. Maybe if she had someone like that she would be able to experience the entirety of the emotional spectrum.

As it was she'd only begun to feel at all because of Zero, and still she hadn't felt anything near to love or happiness, the emotions that she truly desired to feel.

She looked at Zero who seemed to be observing her through the mask calmly as if perfectly content with just standing there and doing that as he awaited a reply. Maybe it was that she'd been alone in a cell with no one to talk to, or maybe it was just her usual boredom, but she found his presence outside her cell to be comfortable.

"Would you care for some books to read while you're here?" Lelouch inquired drawing Anya out of her thoughts. "Perhaps some puzzle games or something of the like?" He asked more than a bit curious as to what kinds of games she'd like.

"Puzzle games?" The Knight repeated with an interested spark shinning clearly in her eyes. "You would really bring me some books and games if I were to ask?" She asked not fully believing him.

"It shouldn't be that hard to believe should it? A generous host should always do his best to please his guest."

"I'm a prisoner." Anya corrected.

"You're a guest as far as I'm concerned, albeit an unwilling one, but still a guest." He said unable to help but grin a bit in amusement at his own statement.

Anya raised an eyebrow at that not really understanding his logic. "If that's the case, what exactly separates me from a regular prisoner considering I'm being held against my will and I'm not allowed to leave my cell?"

Lelouch chuckled silently at her query finding her reasoning rather flawless. She was essentially just a prisoner but for some reason he felt as if he'd prefer not to give her that title.

"The fact that I actually like you enough to see to your well being personally rather than assigning someone else to the task is what makes you a guest rather than a prisoner."

Anya's eyes widened just slightly at the answer and she looked away from the mask of Zero needing to gather her thoughts before she could find a proper reply. She was once again besieged by a feeling she couldn't describe. She felt a small bit of warmth invade her cheeks and in the back if her mind she wondered what that was while she turned over Zero's words in her head wondering at the best way to reply to that statement.

Lelouch noticed the blush grow on Anya's face before she'd even turned away and it made him twice grateful for the mask as he felt a small blush grow on his own face as he beheld the beautiful knight.

"I'd very much like some books and puzzle games if it's not a problem." She said jumping back to the previous topic unable to give a response to his declaration of why he viewed her as a guest.

"What kind of books would you like?" He asked pleased to know she wasn't one of those nobles who shied away from using their brains.

Anya's cheeks grew redder and she looked down towards her lap unknowingly causing Lelouch to look away as his face grew warmer the longer he kept his gaze fixed on the knight. For a moment as he watched her he felt a sense of desire he couldn't say he'd ever felt before swell in his chest.

He'd read stories about woman of such radiance and splendor that kings would set their own nations to go to war with one another for the madiens hand. Anya, he reasoned as he stole another glance at the still blushing soldier, was one of those women. She was beautiful in a way that was surely all her own, and any man who was likely to lay eyes on her would find themselves thinking the same thing as a small blush was enough to incite a double take or a lose of breath as was the case with him, and Lelouch had never even been the type of guy who lusted after the overly pretty one's, or any female for that matter.

"Romance or drama books-" She said drawing Zero out if his thoughts. "-or horror and suspense. Really anything that's geared towards getting some kind of emotional response from the reader."

Lelouch nodded keeping his eyes on hers even though she currently still had her head facing towards the ground slightly, keeping her gaze away from his for reasons he had no idea she didn't understand.

"I can do that." He remarked turning on his heels to leave.

"Zero." The girls voice sounded behind him pulling him to a stop.

"Yes?" He said turning slightly to see what she wanted.

"Thank you." She said offering him a smile that seemed to have the same effect you would expect from a stun gun.

"You're welcome." He said after managing to pull the breath back into his lungs. Lelouch briefly forgot he'd been about to leave as allowed himself to get lost in the enthralling gems of brilliance that happened to be the knights eyes.

"I'll be seeing you." He said after what had to have only been a minute or two but felt more like thirty to them both.

Anya nodded her head unable to find her voice for some reason, soon finding she missed his presence the moment he disappeared from sight. She looked down towards her hands and wondered if she was truly beginning to feel and why it seemed like Zero of all people was the cause of it.

"I forgot to ask him about the color of his eyes." She realized with some disappointment.

0o0o0o0o0o

Lelouch was on his way to his personal quarters prepared to head back to Ashford academy. He was all to aware of every step he took as every step took him further away from the puzzle that was Anya. Lelouch knew exactly why he reacted the way he did when she gave him a small smile.

It honestly made him feel good to see Nunnally wasn't the only person in the world who could smile for him in such a way, the main difference between the two being Anya knew his sins while Nunnally didn't, and yet she still smiled at him. He was personally responsible for a the deaths of what had to be hundreds possibly even thousands of her comrades yet she still offered him such a smile.

Regardless of how much it confused him he still felt some form of delight at that.

As he stepped into he and C.C's personal chambers aboard the sub he didn't notice his contractors eyes following him across the room with far more curiousity than what anyone who knew her could say they usually had.

Thanks for reading. Just in case you guys were wondering there will actually be battle scenes and the like in this fic. The next chapter will open up with Lelouch returning to Ashford. The entire fic won't take place with Lelouch and Anya interacting through the door to a holding cell. She'll get out of the cell eventually but I won't say how.

I do hope you all continue to enjoy the story.