Foreword: I bumped the rating to M due to concerns regarding what will happen in this chapter.

Track 15: Mire

- The Divided Eldest -

"...And that is the end of the report, milord."

"My gratitude."

I took a moment to quickly read over the report once more though I already had my confirmation; worrying as expected. I reached for my own letter. "Send this to Duke Viscount Lazuli, and return to Commander Mazpulez' core after, I haven't heard of his answer yet regarding the Armos siege. I expect an answer by the end of the week at the latest, Gerhardt."

"Of course."

I turned to my other retainer, who's fidgeting as usual.

"As for you, Küchle, you are to gather information regarding Port Dia's situation. Thane Trishula will absolutely receive the news sooner rather than later, and I want to be the first to know when it happens, even sooner than my Father."

"Shall I investigate in the Southern Guild?" The pale woman asked, certainly more for confirmation than actual doubt.

"Indeed, do begin there." I produced a parchment from my coat and handed it to her. Thankfully I was able to procure the Royal Family's seal. "This pass will allow you to go directly to the Guildmaster. I expect a detailed report by tomorrow nightfall, unless the Thane is already on the move; only then you may use the seal and Royal Messenger corps to report back to me immediately, and I mean, immediately."

She nodded ungainly.

"Are you separating us, milord?" Gerhardt asked.

"Yes. There is not much time before my Father returns, and you are the only ones I can trust for this task."

"Why..." Küchle muttered.

"Are you dissatisfied with my orders, Küchle?" I raised my voice.

"I-in the least, milord!" She responded hastily, but her eyes told otherwise. "Your will shall be done."

Gerhardt meanwhile shrugged, and I could feel his shared inner feelings. Though he'd never complain out loud, his demeanor reeks of not wanting to be here. These two are rather unreliable... or is this train of thought my frustration getting the better of me?

"The Ministers have already called for a meeting right after my Father's return, which is expected for the end of the month. I need this information before that happens." I continued.

Neither are satisfied, in the absolute least. Irritating.

"You have your orders."

They didn't react.

"You are dismissed." I growled.

The both of them finally reacted, taking their cue to leave with awkward bows and unsure steps. At least they can understand basic commands-

Hmm… Ignis rubbing on me, isn't he? I shouldn't be so crass. I might not trust them to the same extent I did Octavius and Fatima, but they do deserve a chance. Walter Gerhardt does come from the army, so he knows his way around military affairs, while Elsa Küchle is... a bit too green, too reliant on Gerhardt's experience, but she does know her way around with a spear; sadly, she's proven far too nervous to handle her tasks, which is just unacceptable-

...I should stop this train of thought altogether, for there's still plenty to do. Plenty tasks indeed… and far more important ones than nitpicking at my retainers' behavior.

There's unrest in Nohr.

Father's excursions to the borders have not gone unnoticed. The centralization of resources and investment in the army have put the southern territories on edge. The Lords of Nestra are already questioning the increase in shipments for rations and copper when there's next to nothing to pay for them… or so it seems, and we have Lord Crusch to thank for communications being in disarray. Thankfully, Father has quelled most of these worries throughout the last year in the frontiers, and I'm sure that once I report Lord Crusch' little 'mishandlings', that'll be the end of it... yet the same cannot be said for the rest of our borders to the southeast and east… and that does not even consider their inner sections.

As much as I'd love to say that we are united and ready at Father's command, the Lords and Ladies of the Council simply do not really know the state of this country. Gods, to even say that I'm on a better ground compared to them is a blatant falsehood. Just how many holes have I found in just a few days? Is this just the mouth of the beast? Our treasury, our soldiers, the very foundation of the Kingdom of Nohr, this very castle, is… but a house of sticks.

There's unrest in Krakenburg.

Classes with my siblings have stopped. I've kept with my schedule, because that's the least that's expected of me, but I must admit that not having the little ones around me has been a rather disheartening change of pace. When did I start taking Leo's perfect citations, Camilla's competitive snark, Ignis' fumbling at horse riding, or Norbert's relentless blade for granted? I hate to admit that I didn't expect to miss Azura's and Bismarck's quiet company this much either… And while I may not appreciate Lorraine's defiant personality much...

Gods, Lorraine...

How can I expect our people to fight under us if their King and his children cannot see eye to eye? If we the children cannot do so among ourselves?

I'm left alone in my study, and my eyes wander toward that drawer once more, where Ignis' documents lay. I have run the numbers a few dozen times already, yet part of me still refuses to believe it. My brother wasn't bluffing when he said he could unleash a political catastrophe.

Knowing what I do now… I am disgusted by the… pilferers that make up our noblemen. How long have they been robbing our starving people? I can't fathom how deep this abyss goes, and the more I look, the more my blood boils. This isn't justice.

Aren't we, the nobles, supposed to lead our people by example? Where is the honor in this?

Would you even hear me were I to tell you, Father? Do you really not know…? Ignis is certainly not a fool, Gods, for him to have put together what he did, assistance from the Queen or not… but I think it too naïve for you to be unaware of something as important as this. You've always been a real hero, and an even more outstanding King, yet… I can't help but listen to this voice within me, to these thoughts…

There's unrest in my heart.

Father, I want to believe in you, I really do, but… but I feel like there's a veil on me, one that refuses to leave my eyes no matter how many times I take it off, like a spider's web that keeps being repaired and sewn again no matter how many times I untangle or tear it apart, like a thick sheet of fog that threatens to devour me, one that keeps going on no matter how far I walk, and each time, the veil is thicker than the previous one, and I fear that the spiders who spin these threads are people I've never even doubted.

Throughout my admittedly short life, I've come to understand that I do not know anything. My travels around Nohr have been so incredibly educational, so eye-opening. I've learned much, even if I still don't truly understand it all.

When I finally visited the Windmire, I saw naught but apathy, disinterest, and an utter disdain for myself and everything that I stood for. I know the ministers back then tried to fool me, but I'm well past that kind of trickery.

When I visited that village in the outskirts years ago, I saw suffering, starvation, grief… and I was humbled. How come there can be people living so miserably? Soon after I learned of the blight of our land, and why Father's campaign marches on.

When I visited Armos, I saw more of that darkness that I know the people whisper of behind our backs. I lived through it when I lost Octavius and Fatima. I saw the utter evil that our own people can commit, all because they are desperate enough. At first, I didn't understand it, and to be honest, part of me still refuses to believe it, but… as I am now… I have no other choice but to face it, and I despise it.

All of this… Perhaps I thought too much of the nobility, those who are supposed to lead. Slowly, everything that I think I know is turning to be just an illusion. Everything feels like fog in my hands and eyes.

I am trying to preemptively piece everything I have on my own ends too, yet things are not well within this castle. My siblings are fractured, I am fractured. I do not know what to do but to put on my stone mask and brace whatever's to come, because this house of sticks is tumbling, and I won't be able to hold it from collapsing. I… I don't feel like I'm strong enough to face what is coming now.

What just happened… What has been already done… what is yet to come...

Mother… What should I do?

- The Displaced Seeker -

"Happy birthday."

Azura greeted me with a languid look that slowly morphed into realization. She didn't say a thing though a number of thoughts clearly ran through her mind, and eventually decided against all of them. She was exhausted, and I couldn't blame her when she was holding out infinitely better than I was.

"I'm… sorry about this," I whimpered. "All of this, I mean…"

She did not answer.

"I…" My words died in my mouth. Whatever excuse I wanted to say, I couldn't follow, and instead the ensnaring, familiar feeling of powerlessness just crept onto my back once more. "It's my fault we're trapped here on your birthday."

"How is your knee doing?" She asked lethargically, clearly not wanting to follow through that conversation. I too took a moment to process the thought, and decided to not follow it either.

"Stings, like always." I replied listlessly. "Is it time for them to come back?"

Her face flashed with anger. "What good will that do anyway? They don't care about us."

A defeated sigh escaped my lips. Azura trembled for a bit as well, but didn't really face me, and in the end focused her attention to the window rather than the inside.

...I couldn't refute her either.

I sighed once more.

"Is it time for the painkillers yet?"

"No."

"Are you hungry?"

"No."

"Azura, talk to me."

She just looked at me with tired eyes, red from crying silently each night. I weakly sighed in response, exasperation and exhaustion combined.

Seeing her like that hurt; a bit ironic and undeserving… or so the more sardonic part of me screamed.

My stay in Azura's room didn't last long, as we were both whisked away into one of the most distant wings of the castle shortly after I woke up, where Elias and Natasha had received strict orders from the Queen to keep us safe and away from anything that could befall us, and when I say anything, I really mean anything, leaving us in what was house arrest in all but name.

This same sing-song had been going for a few days now, too… I'd try to guess when they'd return and try to pry information from them, always to no avail, for each time they would only grace me with silence, take a rather uncomfortable bath in which I'd be roughly scrubbed and cleaned, take my medicine, and be left in the dark one more day. I could tell that things were by no means good, if still being basically imprisoned said anything. The small grace was that I had not been separated from Azura, with the both of us having been put into the same room, if only to ease the retainers' watch over us, or so I surmised.

Amidst my ocean of issues, being in the dark for such a long time would have been immensely aggravating if not for the fact that my knee was killing me, so for once I focused on myself first, undeserving as it was. Though I did receive some swift treatment both from Azura and some physicians both before and after coming here, I couldn't walk by any means, leaving me confined to my bed. I was in a comparatively better state than I had any right to be, though in many aspects I was close to having a meltdown of my own, but since I hadn't quite reached that point yet (or so I thought) I instead focused on the physical pain; it may not have been the greatest of options, but not dwelling on the other half of the problem was how I managed to keep up.

Still not saying that this method is healthy whatsoever though, as I was caught in a torrent of hysteria of my own ever since waking up; I had finally become unable to sleep at all now, with every single attempt being met with nightmares, as I found myself back within that dark labyrinth where I was chased by… whatever the fuck that was, and running for dear life. Every time my mind drifted, I was met with that cloaked bastard stalking at me, chasing me with no stop or escape, and its damn fucking laugh ringing from the back of my mind; like unnatural white noise amidst the encroaching silence; it was a soft but disturbing sound, and that giggle followed me everywhere within those corridors. Never once did it break into full-on laughter, yet never once did it stop; it just stalked me relentlessly, and I'd always end up in the ground, whimpering with broken legs, and I would abruptly awaken with muffled screams and tears running down. I… couldn't really make clear if it was the thing that chased me in my nightmares or the cloaked bastard. It could be both.

It probably was both.

Little respite came when either Natasha or Elias came in to bathe me and change my clothes, cast and bandages, followed before and after with a check on my knee, and even then, it was during these days that I found the two truly had nothing to say to me. The two of them were more like Garon than I had expected: cold, aloof and incredibly out of touch with interactions like these, and they helped me out of obligation rather than true concern; the one thing I could give them was that they were punctual with attending me, as I never missed a meal or a bath whatsoever. Clearly neither of them were healers, but they still knew how to work with bandages and a staff, probably a byproduct of a lifetime in the battlefield. They would take turns treating and feeding, yet it helped little having both of them to talk to. Natasha was quick and to the point, with a roughness I didn't really appreciate, while Elias was harsh yet more long winded; both of them were awful for two different sets of reasons. Azura had taken it upon herself to help loosen and tidy their work so it was more bearable, which I would forever be grateful for.

Whichever the case, I guessed that Arete strong-armed those two into keeping an eye on us. After all, how bad would it reflect if something happened to her daughter while under their watch? I'm probably just an afterthought here, but I won't look a gift horse in the mouth.

Every single other inquiry for our wardens was met with silence too, and they had no patience to deal with my scrawny ass either; Elias and Natasha were not soft with me, even with a broken knee.

Regarding my cellmate, well… That was a topic of its own. Azura herself was also on the verge of breakdown, as she became increasingly stressed and desperate at being unable to leave the room. She rarely slept these days either, with her face being dotted with dark bags under eyes red from crying, and her whole complexion was decrepit.

We… we didn't talk much to be honest. Between dried throats, exhausted bodies on the verge of falling sick, and equally worn minds, we didn't really have much to talk about, or the energy to even try. Azura knew pretty much the same as me regarding how the castle had been devolving in the last number of days, and she wasn't really in her right state of mind to inquire either, nor would I have let her anyway, even if not knowing was eating at me from the inside.

…And so came Azura's 8th birthday, on one lonely 3rd of March which we spent within our cell of a shared room.

There are many things I've been always bad about, and one of the items in that stupidly long list is remembering important dates of all kinds, from birthdays, to anniversaries, to plain festive days. I don't even remember my original birthday, and I had stopped celebrating my birthdays in Nohr altogether ever since my mother's death, like everyone from Azura's group and up too. I don't really remember by heart any of our older sibling's birthdays either… and though Xander has always disapproved, I just have never cared enough to fix it.

...And even if it may be wrong, I've made a point to not remember the birthdays of my dead siblings too. Otherwise it's just… too much.

With so many siblings and the current state of affairs, I'm not even sure how I recalled that it was her birthday even, but I did anyway. Perhaps it was just a bout that pulled me out of my self-absorption or just being bored out of my mind that particular day…

Ironically, remembering that it actually was her birthday only served to twist the knife, as it just reminded me of my own helplessness and uselessness. Curse my own rashness for bringing it up too.

Whatever is going on out there... I hope everyone's holding up okay.

- The Scarred Princess -

I've never left these four walls; they're all I've ever known my whole life. For as long as I remember, this accursed castle has been my prison and my home, and the shadows that encroach it all that's ever surrounded me. Mother has always taken to this darkness too much.

For a time, I believed that I would too.

"What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I am sorry, Mother."

Even though the whip split my back open, I did not cry. How long has it been since I was punished like this? It feels like forever, yet I know this pain far too well.

"Two years." She droned on as usual. "For two years we had planned Trishula's takedown, and you wasted all that preparation in such a sloppy work, against my orders. What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I am sorry, Mother."

The whip slashed again.

"Answer my question."

"I am sorry, Mother."

The promise that Mother would keep punishing me until I lost consciousness until I broke remained unspoken. Yet, we both knew that I would not give in.

"Foolish mutt." Mother snarled as she swung again.

I would not yield.

"Foolish mutt."

I refused to yield.

"Foolish mutt."

I… I cannot break...

"Foolish mutt! Do you understand what you've done!?"

I protected my sister, that's what I did.

"Word has already gotten out, and because of your little stunt, I will have to go to great lengths to calm Lord Garon down, not to say all the scum in the council!"

I did it to protect my sister, and there's nothing wrong with that.

"You can't best the First Prince in combat, even with magic."

One slash.

"You can only defeat the Second with magic, and even then you always disgrace me with your crude displays."

One slash.

"Your magic studies are deplorable against the achievements of the Fourth, one who is much younger than you, the damn fourth brat!"

One more slash. My mother's voice kept rising with every passing slash. My body shrieked though my voice did not leave my mouth once.

"And that's not even mentioning the worthless Third. You couldn't even defeat that talentless-" Slash. "misfigured-" Slash. "-rat without resorting to mindless violence!"

She finally heaved with another slash.

"I taught you better than that." Her tone shifted. "Apologize."

"I am sorry, Mother."

"Explain why you are apologizing."

"I…" Bile formed in my mouth. "I am sorry for being such a worthless pupil, princess and daughter."

How many times have I given this very same apology? How many times have I been forced to stand down for taking actions of my own? I've lost count.

"So long as you understand." I heard Mother curling the whip, and soon after, a Staff's glow lit the corners of my vision, with my flesh tearing and closing itself again in response.

Though being healed was supposed to be a pleasant experience, it always was the opposite for me. I just clenched my fists against the ground and let the strange sensation run through. It wasn't the same as when others used healing magic. Was it because it was Mother? She was very capable of hiding scars, after all.

But I can't show weakness when my dear sister is like that, not when nobody else will do anything for her… Not Xander, not Father, not Ignis… no one… Lorraine only has me, and I intend to protect her to the end.

"Dress yourself." Mother ordered. "Now that it's come to this, I cannot afford subtleties anymore."

"Yes, Mother."

A breath almost left my mouth, but I managed to stop myself. I took the brim of the dress on my waist, pulling it back on. Such a dress did well to hide the injuries I just received, as did all of the clothing I had; I inadvertently ran my fingers through the base of my neck, and like always, though Mother's healing left no visible marks, everything within hurt.

Mother's fingers expressed her displeasure. I was still too slow for her liking.

I knew Fath- Garon would return soon, by the end of the month according to Mother. I had had little time to do much in these past few days outside of tending to Lorraine, but she'll be safe for now, so I can rest easy for a while. I did make an example out of that wretch.

"We are treading thin ice." Mother warned. "If you disobey one more time, your next punishment will be your last."

You're bluffing, Mother. You cannot kill me. I know-

"Which is why…" Something froze within me when Mother signaled the quiet maid to step forward. I recoiled for once, as I recognized the item in the tray. "As much as it pains me, you will remain in this place."

"N-No…"

Before I noticed, I could not move. No matter how many times I had been subject to this very same punishment, Mother always managed to catch me. I struggled, but my hands could not follow. I looked up, hoping it hadn't been what I feared, but it was useless. Mother had cuffed me to the window, hands above my head.

A dam broke.

"NO!" I screamed, kicking and resisting with strength I didn't know I had left.

Mother's eyes flared with anger as she slapped me.

"Foolish mutt! Don't you see this is all your fault!?" She snarled. "You forced me to this. You brought this upon yourself. If you cannot do something as simple as following my commands, then I must use other means!""

"Mother… please…"

Mother's eyes flashed for a moment, right before she returned to her usual expressionless mask.

"Feed her as per usual. Bathe her once a day, and tend to her other basic necessities." Mother instructed the maid. "If she screams, you may Silence her, and if she resists, you may punish her, so long it doesn't leave scars."

"Yes, Lady van Ross."

"You can't do this..."

Mother turned to face me, her eyes cold.

"P-please… Mother…" I finally whimpered. "I promise to be good."

Mother smiled. "And let you go meet that piece of rotting meat?"

My heart stopped.

"M-Mother… I beg you…"

"You've been mingling far too much with the other children," She said, and her voice shifted again, this time faking sadness. "I am only doing what is necessary to protect you and ensure your future, even if it breaks my heart."

"Mother… please…"

Mother cupped my head with both hands, and gave me that disgusting smile. "Camilla? What have I told you about tears?"

When did…? Why…? Did I… break…?

"Camilla?"

"A…" My voice cracked. "A l-lady of the van… v-van Ross family must be- be impeccable at all t-times."

"Yes. And?"

"A-and, as the f-future Crown P-Princess, I b-bear a respon... responsibility, above e-even that."

"That is correct, my dear." Mother smiled again. "Which is why you have thirty- no, twenty seconds to dry them."

Following her instructions… I did… I smiled, though it hurt inside, though everything within me couldn't do so, I smiled.

"A good start." Her grin grew in return. "Now, I have to clean up your little mess, so you'll be a good girl and stay put."

"Y-Yes.. Mother…"

Happy with herself, Mother wiped herself with a handkerchief from the maids, then seized me once more. I did my best to keep my smile. And so, she left, leaving me entrapped in this accursed room.

"If I find a single imperfection on her skin, you and your co-workers will lose your heads." I heard my Mother from outside the room.

"Y-yes…"

I was left alone to my devices once more...

My fault? Not leaving scars? I don't care about any of that. I can't stay here… I need to reach Lorraine. I can't leave her alone…That wretch tried to kill my sister, of course I wouldn't let her! I'm not wrong, I couldn't let her live, even if it made Mother angry.

When I think of my little sister, confined in that bed, so powerless, unable to do anything but watch the window… it fills me with rage. Nobody would do anything for her, nobody would protect her, so I would… but I can't do it from here, trapped in this damn place.

I'm going to get out, I don't care what I have to do. Lorraine is everything I have left.

Author's Note: Still not dead yet, but between irl stuff and more, I haven't worked consistently on this, but this is far from dead (or so I tell myself, but I know I should be more consistent). Big thanks to DestructionDragon360 for beta'ing once more for this chapter, and you should totally check 'Heavy is the Head' and 'Madly in Love' from her, they're also great FE works, so look them up! Also thanks to Morskijez for always being so supportive and throwing some ideas back and forth, and any of you guys for reading.

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