(Sorry that it has been a while again everyone! My uploading schedule is going to be very slow from now on, but the story is far from dead. It's going to just take a long time unfortunately. Thanks to those who've waited!)

"Things aren't at all what I thought they'd be."

Taiga mumbles her words softly over the cup of tea I handed her. She holds it close, as if warming herself with it. Given the weather outside, it's understandable.

We walked to the dining room, and I scrambled to find a match to light the candle.

"Ah, here it is." I flick the match against the textured box, and a small flame lights up the house. It seems so fragile.

"Ouch!", In my captivation I fail to notice the flame working it's way down the matchstick. I drop it onto the floor, the flame extinguishes.

Flick, and the room is lit dimly once more. This time I'm careful to not burn myself, and walk to the dining room, where Taiga is waiting. She still has the snot covered towel wrapped around herself.

I bring the match to the candle, and in moments the room lights up. I avert my eyes momentarily. The room was so dark even this little candle was enough to hurt. I notice Taiga wince momentarily.

I walk back to the kitchen, called by the whistling of the pot. I grab two cups from the overhead cupboard. Steam rises and meets my face as I pour water into the two cups. I grab a couple of bags of tea and set them in the cups. Taiga stares into the candle light, and I can't help but notice the similarity. They're both so small, you can't help but want to protect them. Venture too close however, and you get burned.

"I haven't grown an inch." I finally walk over and set a cup of tea in front of her. She growls as she takes her first sip. "Ahh! Damn it. It's still hot!"

I roll my eyes, "of course it is, I just poured it. And of course you haven't grown an inch. Women usually stop growing around eighteen."

But that isn't why you're here. That isn't what you mean by not having grown. A silence once more dominates the room. The flashes of light outside grow softer, and the rumbling of thunder becomes more distant. The faint pitter-patter of rain against the house walls slowly becomes the only thing we hear again.

She brings her lips close to the glass, her silhouette is dim even next to the candlelight that only a minute ago was, for a moment it seemed, painfully bright. Her recognizable grimace is replaced by trembling lips and watery eyes.

"Ryuji finally told me he loved me, and the first thing I did was headbutt him!", she brings a hand to her mouth. I can tell she's trying to hold back tears. Her small, frail looking body trembles noticeably.

"I'm so stubborn! I haven't grown at all! I hate myself!", she suddenly allows the tears she desperately was trying to hold back to flow freely. She falls sideways onto the floor, her head on the seat cushion.

I wait, thinking it is best to let her get this out before continuing. After a few minutes, she picks herself back up, strands of hair falling messily over her face. She wipes herself with the towel once more.

"I used to hate you".

"Eh?" I hear her voice softly echo through the house.

"I used to hate the facade you put up. But eventually, you managed to grow. When Ryuuji, Minorin, all of us, refused to grow. You dropped the act. You stopped pretending. You stopped caring. You managed to grow up, and you kept all of your friends besides you."

I notice how small and fragile Taiga seems right now. And notice how large and imposing the shadow cast by the flickering candlelight seems in comparison. I look back momentarily, and notice my own shadow projected thinly down the hall into the living room. Though I'm taller, my shadow seems so much more ethereal than her own.

I turn back and face her again. I realize her gaze has not lifted since she sat back up. It's like she is staring through the floor, to some place distant.

"It was difficult", I pause, before remembering that I haven't dropped it at all. "No.", I sigh softly, strands of hair fall across my face, mirroring Taiga's own messy appearance. I look back up, swipe the strands aside. I notice a smile forming on my own lips. What could possibly possess me to smile at a time like this?

"I haven't dropped it actually. I still put up that mask. I haven't grown much at all. The truth is simply that I'm able to lose it around my friends now." She finally starts lifting her head up, our eyes meet.

"And, now that I'm finally able to be honest about it, I've only been able to drop it around you and the others because of Ryuuji."

Her face contorts momentarily, no doubt a tinge of jealousy arises, but quickly the surge of anger subsides, and she once again looks into the void.

"You've still managed to grow. It's better than I've been able to do. Nothing I do works. I felt so overjoyed when I finally heard those words, and yet my first reaction wasn't to return those words, it was to hurt him. I was gone for so long, and I haven't changed at all. I don't know what to do". Once more tears start flowing. This time, it's a soft stream, the tears roll gently down her cheeks, her gaze remains steady.

"It's incredibly difficult being able to accept yourself. Especially when it's just one other person you want to be accepted by. Ryuuji told me he liked me even without the mask. It was as simple as that, I was lucky. I didn't grow Taiga", unsure of whether I should continue, I steady my breath. I realize my own breathing is getting unsteady, and that my gaze is getting blurred as my eyes begin to water. "I told myself that I'd be able to move on, that I could finally be myself. But I can't move on. As much as I try I can't. Hearing Ryuuji confess his love to you hurt me perhaps as much as it overjoyed you."

After a long breath, I'm able to recover. I don't want to become a crying mess too. "But we have to work with what we have. I have my friends. Ryuuji is still my friend, you're still my friend. You have friends that love you and care for you exactly as you are. Trying to pretend you aren't a vicious headstrong tiger would only be doing exactly the thing you hated about me. Embrace it."

"BUT I'M HURTING RYUUJI!"she yells suddenly. Her gaze is now fixed on me. My eyes widen as I notice her begin to stand up. "You don't hurt anyone just being yourself! I do! I hurt the person I love the most in this world! I don't want to! But I can't do anything! I'm helpless!"

Slowly my own frustration begins to rise. Why did she bother coming here if she's refusing help? I speak sternly, "Ryuuji is fine. We're fine. Ryuuji fell in love with you because you're the palmtop tiger. If you're hurting Ryuuji, it means he made a mistake. And as much as you might tell yourself it was, it's not. You're both stupid, and I think you both exacerbate each other's flaws, but you're happy together. That should be all that matters. Screw what anyone else thinks."

She walks past me into the dimly lit hallway leading to the living room. The towel I lent her remains wrapped around her shoulders.

"It's late. I'm heading home."

Idiot.

I'm too tired to walk up to my bedroom. I grab the cushion she was sitting on, curl up, and close my eyes, back turned to the candle.

It seems like only a moment. I get up, and notice the candle no longer burning, yet the white walls of the dining room are tinted gold by incoming sunlight. My left side feels incredibly sore. A shiver runs down my back as I notice how cold the floor is.

"Damn it" I mutter to myself. It feels as if I didn't get an ounce of sleep. But I knew it couldn't have been later than one in the morning when Taiga left. With my vision still blurred from the exhaustion, I fumble my hands over the dining table hoping to feel my phone.

"Here it is,'' I draw the screen close to my face.

"Ugh, its barely 7 AM."

My knees wobble as I attempt to stand. I put the tea cups away, the green liquid within has lost all of its heat.

I stumble my way upstairs and collapse into my bed. I wrap the sheets around me and set an alarm for three hours from now. As I'm doing so however, the phone rings.

Its a number I don't recognize. Wait. I do recognize it. Ugh. Its Hisao. Why the hell is he calling me at 7 in the morning? Weren't we supposed to meet up with Maya later? I swipe right and hang up, but moments later the phone rings once more.

I repeat the process four more times before finally answering, "WHAT."

"Wow, you seem to be in a good mood early!"

I hang up again. And again, the phone rings.

"If you want to end up dead in a ditch somewhere you're doing a very good job right now"

"Easy ice queen, I wanted to offer breakfast. By the sound of it, seems like you need it too."

I don't want to admit it, but he is right. I haven't eaten anything since the little chat I had with Taiga, and I can already feel the cramping in my gut begging me for food.

"Fine, what do you have in mind?", I wonder if my eye roll translates into the words I utter.

"How about the diner?"

"What diner?", he can't possibly mean where we work right?

"Where else?", I resist the urge to launch my phone at the wall for such a stupid suggestion.

"Idiot. I'll be there in half an hour". Resigning myself to fate, I walk up to my room, pick a set of clothes, then step into the shower room. The water is cold at first, shivers run up my spine as it makes contact with my skin, but slowly it gets warmer. I recall the night Ryuuji and Taiga left, and how Kushieda was left behind, crying in my arms. I ended up letting her take shower here for the night, I still remember the steam seeping through the hallway.

After finishing up, I rush down the stairs and head off. The smell of wet pavement is almost overwhelming as I open the door and step out. Puddles are scattered everywhere, on the sidewalk and street alike. Water drips steadily from the trees overhead, and the sky further above, while clearer than during last night's turbulence, is still largely overcast. Patches of blue peaking through the clouds seem almost blindingly bright; the wind blows leaves and litter across. The streets are quiet at first, but slowly students emerge from their homes in their respective high school uniforms.

I notice that they all seem to walk with a sense of purpose. They have a direction, they know what they need to do. I'm sure they don't appreciate the homework, but they're able to enjoy time with friends.

"I can't believe I miss highschool", I mutter out loud. I genuinely enjoyed my time in highschool, what little time I spent I suppose. I was often out of classes thanks to my career, but the weeks and months in between had been some of the most enjoyable I'd experienced.

Eventually I find myself at the front of the restaurant. Hisao is standing there, with a raincoat over his left arm, holding an umbrella in his hand.

"You can't be sure with the weather nowadays,'' he steps to the side and opens the door, inviting me in.

We step inside and sit across from each other in one of the cubicles.

"Oh, fancy seeing you two at this hour!", the restaurant manager walks out from the kitchen. "It's good seeing you on an off day! What can I get for you two? On the house!"

"Appreciate it!", Hisao responds. "I think I'll go with an American style continental breakfast! Bacon and all if that's alright?"

"Of course Hisao-kun, and what about you Ami-chan?"

"Oh, uhm." I'm caught off guard by his presence, I've gotten used to being the one waiting tables. "I'll have the same. And a hot chocolate?"

"Wise choice if I say so myself! Two continental breakfasts coming up!", he darts back into the kitchen.

I'm getting sick and tired of awkward silences whenever I'm interacting with people, so I get to the point right away. "Alright, might I ask why you decided to drag me out this early? Even though we were supposed to hang out later today anyway?"

"I just wanted to offer a cheer-me-up. Like I said, it sounds like you need it."

"That doesn't answer why you called me at such an early hour", I growl.

He brushes his hair back and rolls his eyes, "maybe I just wanted to have breakfast with a pretty girl? How many other guys can say they have the privilege of going on a date with a model?"

"Your flattery will get you nowhere". My eyes wander slowly to the window, I look back up to the sky which just last night was a dark thunderous mass of black.

"Truth is, and I think I've said it before, I just wanted to get to know you better. I genuinely want to get to know my coworker is all. I have no ulterior motive. I usually get up early, and didn't have anything else planned this morning. I'm still planning on hanging out with you and your friends later."

Irritating as he may be at some times, he at least seems sincere. I can't be lashing out at everyone who tries to talk to me either, especially if I ever want to grow out of this ridiculous facade.

"Here's your hot chocolate!", the manager sets the cup onto the table, the aroma is soft yet immediately recognizable. He grabs a can of whipped cream and beautifully layers some on top of the cup, before laying a spoon to the side. "Enjoy!"

I can't resist myself and immediately take the spoon and destroy the delicious and tempting work of art. I usually hold myself back, but I suppose this is no different then when I buy junk food.

Eventually our meals are brought to the table, steam still rising from the food before us.

"Let's eat!", Hisao excitedly proclaims, before grabbing a strip of bacon and bringing it to his mouth. "I don't like most American food, but bacon is absolutely amazing!"

I can't help but let a smile slip. It's cute seeing him enjoy breakfast so much. "I guess you aren't that bad", I look back out the window and notice the streets now bustling with activity. Students run by trying to get to school on time and cars pack the road.

"So", Hisao breaks my focus, "I might have asked this before, but… why did you decide to work here?"

"What do you mean?", I have a feeling where he's going with this question, but the hot chocolate seems to have tamed me. I'd probably be walking out the door by now on any other day.

"Well, you're a model right? Your mother is a successful actress. I'm sure you have plenty of friends in high places. What made you decide to work here?", he lifts his fork and brings a bite of hash browns to his mouth.

After a soft exhalation, I bring my gaze to the plate in front of me. Warmed toast with butter, pieces of bacon, a side of hashbrowns and a croissant. I reach for the croissant and bite into it before I address the question.

"My friends", I pause for a moment, the faces of each person I've come to know over the past year flash in my mind. Maya, Nanako, Koji, Kota, Kushieda, Taiga… "Ryuuji".

"Hm? Ryuuji?" my eyes widen when I realized the name that escaped my lips. I feel a rush of heat surge, my cheeks start burning. Why am I reacting like a schoolgirl admitting her crush?

I feel my heart start racing.

"Was Ryuuji one of your friends?"

"Y-yes. I know many people in the modeling and acting industry, but you wouldn't want to make friends with most of them. They're all like me…", I try to calm myself down. Thankfully it seems Hisao is able to read the room and didn't start pushing me over Ryuuji.

"Well that doesn't sound so bad! And I suppose it makes sense wanting to stay in town. But surely you could have gotten a job in the area that doesn't involve waiting tables right?"

I reach for the hot chocolate. The whipped cream is long gone, but the drink is still warm. After a few sips, I set the cup back down. "Something just doesn't feel right about it I guess".

"Right about what?" Hisao asks.

"Taking advantage of the connections I have. I want to work honestly I suppose. And having come to know the friends I have, it definitely wouldn't feel right living in a mansion while they're working hard studying in college or taking a job."

"You're a good person Kawashima."

"Eh?", I look up in surprise.

"A bit childish, but a good person", at those words I'm caught off guard. "Ryuuji once said something like that…" . A rage starts boiling up within, but I desperately try to suppress it.

"I appreciate you inviting me out to breakfast, I have to get going though."

"You're leaving? You haven't finished yet!" he looks up in surprise. "What did I say?"

I leave some cash to pay for my part of the meal and walk out. "What on earth am I doing?"