Hey, everyone. This is the first in the series of my retelling of Uncharted, one of my favorite video games, using Gravity Falls characters, one of my favorite cartoons. You'd be surprised with how much the casts of both franchises are alike. And I believe I can make it work. If you don't know how the Uncharted series goes, then reading this first installment and the sequels that will follow will be just like going through the actual games. Except you don't actually play them. Anyway, the GF characters in this have the same names in the show except for Dipper, as his last name will be Drake since Uncharted protagonist Nathan Drake claims to be the descendant of Francis Drake which is what the series is generally based on. Also, the adult characters from the show will be the same age while the kid characters will be at least in their mid-twenties. Finally, if there's anything in these reenactment you don't like or doesn't make sense to you, please keep in mind that I'm only writing it like the games are. So with all that cleared up, let's get to it!

Disclaimer: I own nothing that has to do with Uncharted or Gravity Falls.

"There must be a beginning of any great matter, but the continuing unto the end until it be thoroughly finished yields the true glory."

—Sir Francis Drake, 1587

Chapter 1: Ambushed

(An old coffin is found from beneath the sea. On a large cargo boat, reporter Pacifica Northwest, wearing a dark gray diver's suit, films the coffin on her video camera.)

Pacifica: I am here off the coast of Panama, where we recovered what we believe the coffin of legendary explorer Sir Francis Drake, who was buried at sea over 400 years ago.

(Fortune hunter Dipper Drake, wearing the same diver's suit then appears in the shot and begins to open the coffin with a crowbar.)

Pacifica: Uh, are you sure you wanna be defiling your ancestor's remains like that?

Dipper: You make it sound so dirty. (chuckles) Besides, I thought you didn't believe me.

Pacifica: Well, I did do my research and apparently Francis Drake didn't have any children.

Dipper: Well, history can be wrong, you know. For example - you can't defile an empty coffin.

(He finishes opening the coffin and moves the kid off. The inside is empty except for a few rocks.)

Pacifica: (surprised)What the hell-?

(Dipper finds an old metal box in the corner of the coffin and opens it. Inside is an old book with a leather cover. Dipper opens the book and flips through the pages seeing several drawings and notes written in old English language.)

Dipper: (laughs) You devil.

Pacifica: What is it? C'mon, hold it up -

Dipper: (blocks the camera eye with his hand) No, no, no - no way. The deal was for a coffin... that's it.

Pacifica: Wait a minute, if my show hadn't have funded this expedition you wouldn't have-

Dipper: Hey, hey... You got your story, lady.

Pacifica: (frustrated) Look, Mr. Drake, you signed a contract. I have a right to see every single thing that...

(Dipper looks into the distance and gets a serious look on his face. He interrupts Pacifica.)

Dipper: Whoa whoa... Could you hold that taught?

(Dipper walks to the side of the boat and picks up a radio communicator.)

Dipper: (through the radio) Stan? Uh, we got some trouble. Hurry it up.

Pacifica: Okay, okay - what's going on?

Dipper: Uh.. Pirates.

Pacifica: Pirates?!

(Dipper picks up a metal case and opens it revealing some handguns.)

Dipper: Yeah, the modern kind. They don't take prisoners... least not male prisoners.

Pacifica: Wait, what are you talking abo-

(Pacifica stops talking and gets nervous as she notices a small fleet of motorboats in the distance getting closer.)

Pacifica: Uh, sh- shouldn't we call the authorities or something?

Dipper: (sheepishly) Well, that'd be a great idea, but… we don't exactly have a permit to be here.

Pacifica: What?!

Dipper: Yeah, so unless you wanna end up in a Panamanian jail, we should probably handle this ourselves.

Pacifica: (nervously) Wh- What's worse?

Dipper: You obviously haven't been in Panamanian jail. (Holds out a gun to her.) Do you know how to use one of these?

Pacifica: (reluctantly takes the gun) Uh, yeah, it's… like a camera. You just… you point and shoot, right?

Dipper: Good girl. (picks up his own gun) Here we go.

(Dipper moves to the side of the boat and takes cover behind a crate. Pacifica nervously does the same as the pirates approach them.)

Pacifica: How the hell'd they find us out here?

Dipper: Ah, these guys been tailing me for weeks. Thought I lost 'em.

Pacifica: So what'd you do to piss 'em off?

Dipper: Uh, it's kind of a long story.

(A pirate boat drives up to them and a pair of pirates on board begin shooting at them. Dipper and Pacifica shoot back. They hit the pirates and the boat drives off. Another boat pulls up and the men on it open fire as well.)

Pacifica: These guys don't like you much, do they?

Dipper: Less talking, more shooting! (silently) Hurry up, Stan.

(They shoot down the pirates in the open. The boat drives away and another pulls up. This time the pirates jump off and swim towards them.)

Pacifica: They're climbing aboard!

Dipper: Oh no, you don't.

(Two pirates climbed up the side of the boat and attack. Pacifica shoots one that gets close to her. Dipper engages in hand-to-hand combat with the other and beats him boat drives up and two more pirates climb aboard.)

Dipper: C'mon, Stan, where are you?

(The two take out the men on board as the final pirate boat pulls up. This one has a mounted machine gun turret that opens fire and forces Dipper and Pacifica to take cover. Another pirate on the boat has a big handheld gun that shoots large rounds causing explosions.)

Pacifica: (frighted) Oh my God! Drake, that one's got some type of rocket launcher!

(Rocket at fired at ship, causing flames to erupt.)

Dipper: Whoa! Okay, that's not good.

Pacifica: Oh, I don't think I'm getting my security deposit back.

(Suddenly, a red and white seaplane appears from the Sky and swoops down near the boats.)

Pacifica: What's that?

Dipper: (excited) Whooo! All right, Stan! Calvary's here!

Elena Fisher: Oh, thank God!

(Stan's plane flies right over the last pirate ship causing it to drive away. The cargo boat begins to explode.)

Pacifica: Oh no.

Dipper: Ah, dammit! Whole ship's gonna blow. We gotta jump!

Pacifica: Yeah... Oh, wait!

(She runs back to grab her camera.)

Dipper: What are you doing?!

Pacifica: (grabs her camera and runs back to the side of the boat) Okay, okay.

Dipper: Come on!

(The two jump over the side and into the water as the boat's interior bursts into flames. They swim towards the seaplane docked in the water as the boat sinks behind them. The side door of the plane opens up showing the businessman and con-artist Stan Pines, wearing a light red button-down shirt and tan pants.)

Stan: (laughs) I can't leave you alone for a minute, can I?

Dipper: I had everything under control until they blew up the boat. (to Pacifica) You all right?

Pacifica: Nothing that years of therapy won't fix.

(Pacifica climbs into plane. Stan helps her up.)

Stan: Well, if it isn't the beautiful and talented Pacifica Northwest.

Pacifica: Flattery will get you screen time.

Stan: Yeah, I'm more of a behind-the-scenes kind of guy. Name's Stanley Pines.

(Dipper climbs in and closes the door behind him.)

Dipper: Whaddya say we get out of here, before we attract any more attention?

(Stan gets back in the pilot's seat and takes off. Dipper sits next to him in the cockpit while Pacifica sits in the cargo hold behind them inspecting her camera.)

Stan: (to Dipper) Well, how'd it go?

Dipper: (holding up the book) A little present from Sir Francis.

Stan: (laughs) So you found the coffin. Wait a minute - is this what I think it is?

Dipper: (laughs) Drake's lost diary. He faked his death, just like I said, Stan. He must've been onto something big.

Stan: Yeah, well let's just keep that between us.

Pacifica: (reaching in the cockpit and handing her gun back to Dipper.) Thanks for the loan, Mr. Drake. (Dipper takes the gun.) I think I've earned a look at that diary, when we land.

(Stan looks at Dipper confusingly. Dipper only shrugs. The group flies across the sea to a resort somewhere in Panama.)

(On a dock, Pacifica, now wearing purple tank top and dark brown cargo shorts, is speaking on a cell phone and pacing back and forth. Dipper, now wearing a light gray shirt, blue jeans and brown gun holsters, and Stan are on a motorboat with a small room. Dipper was going through Drake's diary. He was also wearing his signature blue and white pine tree hat.)

Dipper: So look, when Drake sailed into the Pacific, he took the Spanish fleet completely by surprise. He captured their ships. He took all their maps, their letters, their journals, and he recorded everything in this diary.

Stan: Uh-huh, so this -

Dipper: But when he got back to England, Queen Elizabeth confiscated all of his charts and logbooks - including this one, and then swore his entire crew to silence.

Stan: Yeah, so this-

Dipper: Y'see, Drake discovered something on that voyage, Sully - something so secret and so valuable, they couldn't risk it getting out.

Stan: (impatient) All right, Dipper, this is all real interesting, but just pretend for a minute that I don't really care about any of that stuff and cut to the chase, would ya?

Dipper: (scoffs) A man only interested in the climax. You must be a real hit with the ladies.

Stan: Never had any complaints.

Dipper: Okay then, I'll jump to the good part, just for you.

(Dipper flips to a certain page and shows it to Stan. He sees a map of a territory in Northwestern South America. Marked on the map at a certain location was "El Dorado".)

Stan: (laughs) El goddamn Dorado...

Dipper: (smirking) He was onto something big, all right.

Stan: Does it say anything else?

Dipper: Oh, so now you're interested, huh?

Stan: Yeah.

Nathan Drake: Well, unfortunately no. The last page was torn out. (Shows Stan the end of the diary where it looks like the edge of ripped paper.) I'm telling you, Stan... This is it. This is finally it!

Stan: Yeah... Only, we got one little problem. (points to Pacifica outside)

Pacifica: (on the phone) Yes, that's what I said - it blew up. It sank. (pause) No, that's why we have insurance, right? (pause) Oh no, the camera? No, the camera's fine. Don't worry about the camera. No... still as good as new...

(Dipper looks at Pacifica and knows what Stan has in mind.)

Dipper: Stan, the girl can hold her own. You should've seen her.

Stan: (sarcastically): Fine, you go out there and you tell her, "We just found the lost City of Gold." Maybe her producer can get it on the air tonight.

Dipper: Oh, come on… Maybe we can convince her to not give away the treasure's location yet.

Stan: Dipper, do you trust me?

Dipper: More or less.

Stan: Good, 'cause we're gonna have every two-bit scumbag in the world racing us to this treasure, unless we cut her loose right now.

Dipper: (sighs) Guess I can't argue with that. Your a real gentleman, Stan.

Stan: I know. It stinks. She'll get over it.

Pacifica: (on the phone) No, I don't care if we're over budget. I mean- Do you realize this could be the biggest story of the year? (pause) No, I don't trust 'em, okay? That's why we need to move fast. So just get me the camera crew, and I promise you that -

(She's interrupted by the sound of the boat's motor starting up. She turns around and sees Dipper and Stan driving away from the dock.)

Pacifica: (irritated) Son of a bitch. (runs towards the end of the dock) HEY! (stops as the boat drives off and sighs) Should've seen that one coming.