So… if you're here… you must've seen the trailer for the new Sonic movie… If not… Oh dear God… Why… Why? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!?
Sonic the Hedgehog is owned by Sega and Sonic Team.
The Sonic the Hedgehog Movie is being made by Paramount.
Sonic stepped outside of his house and… he was not himself. Normally he would be all egotistical and happy-go-lucky and speed off in search for adventure. But not today. He was actually in deep shock, his face still, not even closing his eyes. He's been miserable ever since he saw THAT! What was it you ask? Well, let's just say what has been seen, cannot be unseen… That day, Sonic WALKED rather than running. Still in deep shock, as he walked, some people tried to say hi to him. But it didn't end well for them…
Knuckles: Hey Sonic! Beautiful day isn't it? What do ya say facing me in an arm wrestling competition, huh?
Sonic didn't respond other than holding out his phone showing the horrid thing he saw. The moment Knuckles saw it, his eyes set on fire.
Knuckles: MY EYES! MY EYYYYYYYYYYYYES!
He ran away and Sonic continued on. Amy appeared lunging at Sonic.
Amy: SONIC!
But just before she got to hug him, Sonic took out his phone, making Amy stop in her tracks. With a straight face, she took out her Piko Piko Hammer and gave herself a concussion. Sonic then bumped into Shadow.
Shadow: Oh, hey faker. What's new with you?
Sonic said nothing but showed Shadow the thing he saw on his phone. Then walked away.
Shadow: … I'm in the mood to kill someone.
He took out his gun and ran off.
Cream and Vanilla were next.
Cream: Hi Mr. Sonic!
Sonic took out his phone. You get the drill.
Vanilla gasps and covers Cream's eyes.
Vanilla: SWEET MERCIFUL CHAOS! Let's go somewhere with more pleasant things to look at!
They ran away.
As Sonic was walking by, more people were reacting.
Blaze: KILL IT WITH FIRE!
Silver: It's no use…
Rouge was carrying the Master Emerald but crashed and got shards in her eyes.
Rouge: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
Charmy was seen crying and being comforted by Vector while Espio was just like "Nope!" and disappeared.
Omega: NOW ERASING DATA STORAGE!
Eggman: Oh Sonic! I'd like you to meet Metal Sonic 2.0! Metal, ATTACK!
Metal Sonic tried to attack, but Sonic showed him his phone and he stopped.
Metal Sonic: Error! Cannot compute! I am error!
He explodes.
Eggman: WHAT!? H-HOW!?
He saw the thing on Sonic's phone and his eyes popped out of his glasses.
Eggman: Err… maybe I should take a break for awhile. This world already has enough pure horror to deal with. *shivers*
Sonic enters Tail's house. Still upset.
Tails: Oh, hey Sonic! How've you been?
Sonic: …
Tails: Are… you okay?
Sonic: Tails… did you see this?
Tails: See what?
Sonic: My new movie trailer… I'm getting a new movie. Remember?
Tails: Oh yeah! That! They released a new trailer? Awesome!
Sonic: NO! NOT AWESOME! NOT AT ALL!
Tails: Okay… geez.
Sonic: Just… watch it…
What Tails saw was an absolute nightmare. Sonic looked absolutely hideous, it was taking place in a live action world, they used the generic "human meets CGI talking animal" plot AGAIN, and there were no signs of himself in the movie.
Tails: Oh… it's uh… how do I put this delicately.
Sonic: You don't need to lie Tails. I already know what everyone thinks about it… And now…
Sonic was struggling to find the words to describe this. He just burst into tears.
Sonic: I'm ruined! I'M RUINED!
Tails: WHAT!? Don't say that Sonic!
Sonic: Why shouldn't I!? You think this is the first time Sega screwed up!?
Tails: Well actually it's Para-
Sonic: WHATEVER! There's Sonic 06, Sonic Boom, Sonic Forces, and now THIS! THIS! Why do they keep making me suffer like this!? Why can't I be as good as other game franchises like Mario, Mega Man, or Pac-Man? They've all been practically looking down at me since I was created! I just can't catch up to them no matter how fast I run… I give up… I give up! There's no point in continuing this chase anymore…
Tails: SONIC NO! You can't give up! Think about how Sega would react. Think about your friends, your fans! Even those other mascots you mentioned would be disappointed.
Sonic: What's the use Tails? I was practically doomed ever since I joined the others in the realm of 3D. And not even a movie could save me. It just makes things worse. Besides, non-Sonic fans are going to see this movie. I was hoping this movie could expand my fanbase when those people take interest, but it's doing the exact opposite. It's gonna turn them away instead.
Tails: Sonic, you can't let a movie ruin your reputation. Mario had a terrible movie back in 1993, but he didn't let that stop him. He just keeps on jumping. In fact he's getting a new movie in 2022. You should do that too. Don't let a bad movie stop you! You've got Team Sonic Racing coming out in less than a month, and I can assure it'll be good. Just keep moving forward.
Sonic: I guess you're right Tails. I'll just keep on running. And who knows, maybe that movie will be a success. Unlikely though since what I saw didn't look very promising. Now if you excuse me, I gotta go.
Tails: Where are you going?
Sonic: I'm gonna apologize to my friends for showing them that. See ya later!
He zooms off.
Tails: Welp… I'm taking this movie off my anticipated list.
Mario belongs to Nintendo
Mega Man belongs to Capcom
Pac Man belongs to Namco Bandai
I'm so sorry. I just had to do this! My friend showed me the trailer and I felt like I wanted to throw up! And then I wondered how the REAL Sonic would react. And here we are. I know this wasn't all that pleasant but thanks for reading anyways. Please review. I'll see you later.