AN: Damn, it's been so long since I made an author's note. This story is long overdue. I'm sorry it's been three years since I've last posted anything. I made a two-part story for the How Do You Love Someone universe, and if you haven't read it (that's okay), it was basically the second part to How Do You Love Someone. However, I deleted it and I'm going to combine the second and third part together.

Enjoy!

Lilith Winchester kept looking in her rearview mirror as she sped down the highway. Earlier that day, she found herself facing two vampires... alone in an alley. She fought hard and it's been a while since she felt fear when hunting alone. She hated being alone, but she also didn't want to be around other people... even her family. She loved her family, but she needed this almost as much as she wanted to be home.

After killing both vampires, she heard a scream coming from the end of the alley. Lilith looked up to find the source and that's when she spotted a woman pointing at her while on the phone speaking to who she could only assume was the police. She rolled her eyes and cursed. Turning around, Lilith ran to her car that was in the opposite direction.

Here I am trying to protect people like her risking my own life, and this is what I get? Ungrateful bitch!

Forgetting the woman near the alley, Lilith focused on trying to locate the rest of the nest. A few hours later, she was standing in front of the dead bodies of the remaining vampires. She flicked her lighter and threw it at the bodies and watched as they all burned. She didn't care much about the rundown house the lit bodies were in. It was in a shitty part of the neighborhood, so why worry?

On her way out of town, she could see flashing red and blue lights behind her followed by the sirens. Shit! She didn't even question as to how they knew it was her. Having killed the vampires in a fucked up part of the city, that meant many convenience stores had cameras pointing everywhere so the police know who to keep an eye out for when a crime is committed.

Having lived with people like her parents, aunt, and uncle, she didn't need that long of a time to evade the police. It was too easy.

For quite some time, Lilith has been debating with herself as to whether she should return home, and each time she said no. When she turned seventeen, she had packed her bags and without telling anyone, she left. She didn't want to have to see the looks on her family's faces, because if she did she would've gone straight to her room and unpacked.

Family meant everything to a Winchester, but what she's learned on her own meant much more to her.

Lilith missed her family, but it was her mother Ryder who she missed more. Their relationship was nothing like her relationship with the others. She couldn't fully understand why her relationship with her mother felt different.

Six years without calling or seeing her family, Lilith found herself going home. In just a few hours, Lilith would not only return to her family but to also the negative emotions that never faded. At least not until she left. It was emotions that scared her. Every time she had thought about returning, she would always ask herself, 'Why?'

She knew that she left because she felt out of place. It was like being a stranger around people you know and who loves you. It was complicated to the point where it didn't make sense. She didn't have anyone to talk to about this... No, that wasn't true. Lilith did have someone, but she could never bring herself to dial the number.

However, despite knowing why, it didn't feel that that was the only reason. That was the part that made no sense to her. Lilith knew she wasn't the biological child of Sam and Ryder, but that had nothing to do it with it. The fact that Ryder took up the role of being her mother when she didn't have to tells her that biological child or not, Ryder was her mother and Sam was her father... nothing else mattered. No one else mattered.

During those years of being on her own, Lilith learned something that she knows will change everything around her. It was something her parents, aunt, and uncle tried to keep from her. It was the main reason, she decided to stay away... until now. She would know that her family wouldn't understand why this was so important to her, and if she was being honest with herself, she didn't care.

What she now knows explained why she felt what she felt. It explained away her intense hatred and anger that she's tried so hard to bury and ignore. It explained away the brutality she felt every time she killed a monster. It would be considered overkill. The more she learned, the more she kept questioning as to why she had to bury it at all.

The more she learned, the more the it frightened her. Even though it scared her, it somehow felt comfortable. She felt like she was apart of something bigger than what she already was.

"What's happening to me?" Lilith sighed.

A few hours later, Lilith was sitting in her car facing the entrance to the bunker. It's been three hours, and she still couldn't work up the courage to walk inside. It's been hard on her own all these years, and so many hunts went horribly wrong.

When she was eighteen, she remembered a case she was on where she was facing off with a ghost of some woman who killed herself... because of something. It was something stupid, but she couldn't remember what it was. It didn't matter, because that wasn't her field of expertise. Her job was to hunt the monster, kill it and leave before the authorities ever showed up.

Five years ago:

It's only been a year since Lilith's been on her own and during all of that time, she had yet to complete a hunt without any casualties. It wasn't always the people who were being directly affected by whatever monster it was; sometimes it was just someone who was in the wrong place at the worst of times.

Someone always died. Someone always had to die because of something someone else did. There were more innocents dying than those who actually deserved it. And the more innocents who died, the less Lilith cared. Why was it her responsibility to save everyone? As a hunter, her only job was to hunt and kill the monster. That's all! Nothing more and nothing less. If someone died than that was their fault.

Saving people. Hunting things. The family business.

Lilith rolled her eyes and scoffed. What a fucking joke.

She thought back to all the people who she couldn't (didn't want to?) save. It's not my responsibility!

Now:

Lilith couldn't remember getting out of her car and walking to the bunker's door, yet here she was. She didn't know if anyone was in and a part of her hoped there wasn't. She took a deep breath and walked inside.

As she made her way down the stairs, memories of running around the bunker playing with her little brother and sister, arguing with her mom only to be let off the hook by her dad, learning how to fix cars with her uncle, reading almost every book the bunker had... so many came rushing back at her.

Now that she was back, the feeling of being a stranger came back as well. Lilith didn't hear anyone or anything else. Coming to the table in the library, she stopped. She could see something carved in the wood.

DW

SW

RW

JW

Lilith smiled fondly.

"You came back," a familiar voice from behind her said.

She closed her eyes and sighed. Almost immediately, she could feel butterflies in her stomach. When she turned around and opened her eyes, Lilith could see the one person who she has missed the most...

"Hi, Mom."

AN: There's the first chapter. Yay! I'm going to try to post one or two chapters a week because I really want to get this story finished. So, please bear with me.

AN: As you can see, Sam, Dean, Ryder and Jenna haven't shown up yet, but they will definitely be in every chapter (hopefully) from now on. I just want to set up Lilith's story that will lead to the plot. Until next time. - Kauri510