Peter didn't get better all at once.

It was definitely a process, and it was frustrating, but he kept at it. He put in the effort with Ruth even though he didn't think it was helping, he took his medication even though he didn't really want to, and as time passed, things slowly started to get better.

He got to go back to school and see his friends and reclaim some semblance of his normal life.

As he got more comfortable being away from Tony, he started spending more and more time with May in the evenings and on weekends, but he still spent all his nights in the penthouse with Tony, not quite ready to leave yet. A part of him worried that after what he'd gone through with losing Tony, he might never be ready, and no matter how understanding May had been with everything, he still felt guilty about essentially abandoning her, even though Ruth told him he shouldn't.

Staying in the penthouse meant the nightmares had thankfully decreased, but they still hadn't disappeared. Every time he had one, he woke up to Tony. He was always there to speak soothing words, to hold him, to comfort him, and to reassure him that he was alive. And after the first four or five times, Peter had even stopped feeling embarrassed about it. Honestly, the consistency of Tony always being there for him was probably a big part of the reason he was getting better.

He loved this new relationship with Tony. Something he never would've gotten to experience if he hadn't saved him. Tony treated him like his own kid and he wasn't afraid to show it or let Peter know it. It meant everything to him.

Before Peter knew it, a month had passed, and then two. He hadn't had any more panic attacks or flashbacks or whatever since that last one in the kitchen with Tony. He was only seeing Ruth once a week now, he was back to a healthy weight again, and he was feeling more himself. Smiling more. And happy. He only had one week of school left, and he was actually excited for the summer and for college instead of dreading it like he had been.

"Hey kid." Tony knocked on his bedroom door. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah." Peter answered as he finished shoving everything he needed into his backpack. It was his last day of classes before the weekend. Finals started next week, which he was more than ready for with all the free time he'd had to study since he hadn't been given the ok to go out as Spiderman yet.

"Got a minute?" Tony asked as he sat down on the end of his bed.

Peter glanced at the clock. He was already running late. "Um not really?"

"It's ok. I'll drive you to school."

"Are you sure?" Peter asked. Usually he took the subway because he didn't mind it, and Happy lived with May in Queens now so the man wasn't exactly available to drive him, and he didn't want to burden Pepper or Tony by making them drive him to school every day even though they definitely would if he asked.

"Yeah. Come here. Sit." Tony said, patting the bedspread next to him.

"Ok." Peter dropped his backpack on his desk chair and shuffled over to plop down next to Tony. "Um what's up?"

Tony draped an arm around his shoulders. "I have some good news."

"Ok?" Peter looked at him quizzically and somewhat suspiciously. He could see a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

"I talked to Ruth last night." Tony said, waiting for his reaction. Peter knew Ruth talked to Tony about him, but he mostly tried to ignore that fact. They'd never talked about it, but he'd caught on pretty quickly when Tony would bring up certain things he knew he'd only told Ruth, and when he started coaching him after his nightmares using the same calming techniques he and Ruth had discussed in therapy.

"Yeah? About what?"

"Spiderman."

Peter frowned and then his eyes widened when he finally got with the program. "Wait. Are you saying... What are you saying?"

He didn't want to get too excited if he was wrong.

"We discussed it and we both think you're ready to go back out as Spiderman. If you want to."

"If I want to? Of course I want to!" Peter jumped up. He couldn't help it. "Are you serious?"

Tony nodded, smiling in amusement at his excitement.

"Oh my god this is awesome! Can I go right now?"

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

"No?"

"Don't you have school right now?" Tony reminded him, raising an eyebrow.

He groaned and fell backwards onto the bed next to Tony. Shit. That was right. He'd completely forgotten.

"Nooo. Why couldn't you have waited until after school to tell me? I'm never going to be able to concentrate now." He whined. Not that it mattered. He was pretty sure they weren't getting any new material today, just reviewing old stuff and going over study guide material before finals next week.

"Because I have meetings scheduled all afternoon and into the evening, so I probably won't be home until way after dinner. I didn't think you'd want me to wait until then to tell you, but maybe I was wrong."

"No no no. You weren't wrong. I take it back. I'm glad you told me. Thanks for telling me."

"You're welcome kid. Now let's get going." Tony patted his leg. "I'll even stop at that gross donut shop you like on the way and let you stuff yourself full of sugar."

"Moe's?"

Tony nodded.

"Yes!" Peter bounded back to his feet, beaming. "Best day ever. Thanks Tony."

He flung himself at the man to give him a quick hug, before grabbing his backpack and making his way out the door. He couldn't wait to tell Ned.

A school day had never dragged along like this one. Peter swore he could feel every second crawling by. It was slow torture. He just wanted to be done so he could go home and suit up and get back into the swing of things as Spiderman.

"Calm down there tiger." MJ muttered from the desk across from him.

He tore his gaze away from the clock and looked at her questioningly.

She nodded toward his rapidly twitching leg. "You're shaking the desk."

"Oh." He was. "Sorry."

He forced himself to take a deep breath and relax. There were only fifteen minutes left until the day was over. He could make it.

He tried to focus on what Mr. Bryant was saying about which topics would be higher yield for the final, but it was hopeless. Everything went in one ear and out the other. He'd have to grab the notes from Ned this weekend.

Finally, the school bell rang. Peter catapulted out of his desk and practically sprinted out of the room, ignoring MJ's raised eyebrow.

"Have fun man. Call me tomorrow." He heard Ned say after him. He'd already explained things to him, so he wouldn't be upset when he bailed the second school let out.

The trip back home passed in a blur, but he finally made it home. He wasted no time tugging his suit on. One of the best things about living in a penthouse apartment was that he could just jump right off the balcony and start swinging. He didn't have to worry about changing and hiding his backpack behind a dumpster somewhere.

The free fall into the air made him whoop in delight. He webbed to the side of a nearby building and swung through New York headed towards Queens. It felt like coming home. He didn't feel dangerously untethered like he had last time he'd donned the suit. Because this time he knew that if anything happened, he'd have Ironman for back up.

"Petey!" Morgan slammed the lake house door open and called out to him. "Dad wants to know what's taking so long."

"We're almost done!" He yelled back. "Tell him five more minutes."

"I will but he's not going to like it." Morgan said in response, but he heard the door slam shut again a second later.

"Spirited little thing, isn't she?" May commented from beside him.

"That's one way to put it." Happy grumbled.

"Hey that's my little sister you're talking about." Peter joked. "She's perfect."

They all laughed at that.

"Here honey." May said, handing him the tray of hamburger patties they'd finished putting together. "You can bring those out. I'll bring the rest out when they're done."

"Ok. Thanks May." He grabbed the tray, filled with twenty patties and started toward the door.

"Here let me get the door for you kid." Happy said, hurrying past him to hold the door open.

"Thanks Happy."

"You need help with that?" Happy gestured to the large tray.

"No I'm good." Peter shook his head.

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"I know how you are. You can do all those acrobatic gymnastics in the air but you trip over your own two feet on the ground."

"I do not."

"Yeah? Tell me again how that vase broke last weekend?"

"That was an accident."

"Exactly. You're accident prone."

Peter narrowed his eyes at him. "Your concern for me is touching, but I think I can carry a tray of hamburgers twenty feet without dropping it or hurting myself."

"Ok. If you're sure." Happy shrugged.

"Kid! Quit gabbing and get over here. People are hungry. And by people I mean me." Tony yelled from across the yard where he stood by the grill with Rhodey and old Cap.

Peter and Happy both rolled their eyes, but Peter started walking over to him as beckoned. On the way, he didn't come close to tripping or dropping the plate even once.

As he approached Tony, he caught the tail end of his conversation with Cap. "I'm just saying think about it. I know you already got to do the whole life lived thing, but if you want, I could use the time travel technology to push time through you like Bruce accidentally did to Scott, remember? It made him younger. I could do the same thing to you."

"It turned him into a baby." Steve argued.

"Semantics. I'm not going to turn you into a baby. I'd tweak it first so you'd go back to your spry thirty something self. You could live your peak years all over again."

"I don't know Tony." Steve shook his head.

"At least think about it before you tell me no." Tony waved the grill spatula at him. Rhodey had to jerk back to avoid being hit by it.

"Ok I'll think about it." Steve smiled.

"I've got the burgers for you. As requested." Peter said as he stopped in front of Tony and held the tray out to him.

"About time. What took you so long? Were you making sure they were all perfectly symmetrical?" Tony complained, but Peter could tell he was kidding as he took the tray.

"That's exactly what we were doing. How'd you know?" Peter joked right back, smiling at the unamused look he received in return.

"Hey, can you do me a favor and go make sure Pepper doesn't need any more help?" Tony asked, head nodding toward where she stood at the extra long picnic table they'd probably bought just for this occasion.

"Sure." Peter agreed.

As he walked away his enhanced hearing overheard Rhodey tell Tony, "You know, he acts more and more like you every day."

"Believe me, I'm well aware." Tony said dryly.

Peter smiled.

"Do you need any help Pepper?" He offered once he'd made it over to the picnic table. Laura was already helping her and between the two of them, it looked like they had it pretty well in hand. Dishes of fruit, chips, dips, all different kinds of salads, hamburger buns, condiments, and blue plastic plates and cutlery were arranged over a white and red checkered table cloth. Old fashioned steel buckets filled with ice and every beverage you could imagine sat nearby. Peter couldn't recall ever attending a more perfect Fourth of July party. If this was what dinner looked like, he couldn't wait to see what Tony had planned for the fireworks.

"No honey I'm good, but thanks for asking." Pepper shooed him away.

"No problem." He turned away, figuring he could go mingle with everyone else until the food was ready.

"Actually," Pepper's voice stopped him before he could get very far, "could you find your sister and have her wash up before we eat?"

"Sure. Do you know where she went?" He glanced around, not spotting her right away.

"I think she's playing with Nate and Cooper on the other side of the house." Laura answered, half distracted, as she helped finish arranging things on the table.

"Ok." Peter headed over there. They had a badminton net set up and Clint and Natasha were playing against Sam and Scott. It wasn't hard to figure out who was winning.

"I said I had it tic tac!" Sam rebuked Scott as he picked up the birdie on the ground while Clint and Natasha and high fived on the other side of the net.

Peter held back a laugh at the scathing look Scott gave Sam in response. He walked past the court, giving them a wide berth. Cooper, Nate, and Morgan were running around in the grassy area behind it, playing water balloon tag with Professor Hulk. They were all soaking wet but wearing swimsuits so it wasn't like it mattered much.

"Morgan." Peter called out to her to try to get her attention.

She looked over at him but didn't stop or come any closer, clearly engrossed in her game.

"Come on. It's almost time to eat. Your mom says you have to go clean up."

"Five more minutes." She told him as she took off running in the opposite direction.

"Nope. Now. Come on, let's go." He closed the distance between them, ready to grab her if she wouldn't stop.

But she did stop.

She turned on her heel and whipped the water balloon in her hand right at him with a wide grin.

It nailed him directly in the face. Water ran down his body and completely soaked him.

"Morgan." He said her name tersely in reproof. "We don't throw water balloons at people who aren't in swimsuits."

Great. Now he had to go change.

As he stood there dripping wet and attempting to look reproachful, Morgan was overcome with a fit of giggles. It didn't exactly help his ego that Cooper, Nate, and Professor Hulk all started laughing at him too.

"All right that's it." He declared and ran at Morgan. She squealed and turned to run. He chased her down easily while she laughed the entire time.

"Gotcha." He said as he grabbed her under the armpits and hauled her up into the air and into his arms. "You're in trouble now."

He pushed up the SPF sunshirt she had on over her swimsuit and gave her three raspberries in a row right on her stomach. She kept laughing almost manically and squirming to get away.

He set her back down on her feet and then said, "Tickle attack," and started tickling her sides. She absolutely screamed with laughter and would've collapsed to the ground if Peter hadn't caught her and lowered her down. She flailed around, laughing.

"Stop. Stop! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" She finally yelled.

Peter granted her mercy and stopped. He grinned as she glared at him.

"Next time you hit me with a water balloon while I'm wearing clothes you go in the lake." He told her, not actually serious.

Instead of looking appropriately chastised, she smiled and asked excitedly, "Can we go in the lake after dinner?"

"Kind of defeating the purpose of my point, but sure." He said as he helped her stand back up.

"Yay! Race you back to the house!" She said and took off.

Peter shook his head. Well, at least she wasn't fighting him anymore about getting cleaned up. He ran after her, catching up easily but letting her think it was going to be a close finish. In the end, he let her win.

"Go wash your hands." He said once they were inside the house and he'd wrapped a towel around her. "I'm going to go change since someone got me soaked."

"Ok." She agreed easily with a grin, wiping dripping strands of hair out of her face as she headed to the bathroom. He hoped she actually listened. He figured he could always throw some hand sanitizer on her just be sure.

He rubbed at his hair with his own towel as he went up to his room where he peeled off his wet clothes and finished drying off before pulling on a pair of swim trunks and a plain white t-shirt.

Appropriately clothed for possible water activities, he walked back down the stairs and called out for Morgan, but she didn't answer, and he didn't see her.

"Morgan?" He tried again.

"She went back outside." Dr. Strange answered as he walked out of the kitchen carrying an enormous serving platter filled with cookies, brownies, and mini cupcakes.

"Oh. Thanks." He was about to go, but he stopped. It was just him and Dr. Strange inside. May and Happy must've gone outside already too. He couldn't imagine getting another opportunity like this to ask the question that'd been on his mind, bothering him.

"Was there something else?" Dr. Strange asked with a quirk of his eyebrow. Peter realized he'd been staring at him.

"Um…yeah actually. Can I ask you something?"

"You just did." Dr. Strange pointed out unhelpfully.

"You know what I mean."

Dr. Strange set the dessert platter down on a nearby table.

"Ask away." He said, holding both his hands out, palms up.

Peter glanced around. No one was coming in and there definitely wasn't anyone else in the house.

"Ok." He took a deep breath. "You told Tony that the other reality I created by bringing him forward in time, bringing him here, still ended up winning."

"That's not a question." Dr. Strange said.

"I know. Um, my question is…was that true?"

Dr. Strange's brow furrowed and his head tilted slightly. "Why would I lie?"

"I guess what I'm asking is," he took another deep breath and continued, "what do you mean when you say they won?"

Dr. Strange brought his hands together in front of his chest, steepling his index fingers into a point as he appeared to consider Peter's question.

"You and I both know that when it comes to winning, it's all a matter of perspective." He answered cryptically.

It was true. They'd won the war against Thanos, but Peter had felt like he'd lost everything when Tony had died.

"So what are you really asking?" Dr. Strange prompted.

Peter chewed his lip and asked, "Did anyone die because of me? Because of what I did?"

"No." Dr. Strange answered simply, and Peter felt as if an enormous weight had been lifted off his chest.

"Really?"

Dr. Strange gave him a single nod.

"And they really won? They defeated Thanos?" Peter asked tentatively.

"With the stones out of play it was much less complicated. They were able to defeat his army, and Captain Marvel was the one that finished Thanos."

Peter nodded. He chewed his lip again before garnering the courage to ask, "And me? What happened to me? And Pepper and Morgan?"

"All alive."

"But without Tony."

Dr. Strange lifted his eyebrows slightly, as if to say 'of course'.

"And they're handling it ok?" He asked.

"Did you?"

No. He hadn't. Obviously. So the Peter in the new timeline or reality or whatever it was called, was just as miserable as he had been.

"So I took him away from them."

"That was always going to be the outcome. You know that. He would've died snapping the gauntlet. At least this way he's alive in one reality." Dr. Strange's voice softened at the end. "He's alive for you."

"I guess." Peter mumbled. "Kind of seems like a shit deal for some other people, though."

"Winning usually is." Dr. Strange said.

Peter let out short exhale through his nose at that truthful nugget of wisdom.

"It'll be all right Peter." Dr. Strange said as he picked up the platter filled with sweets. "You saved a life. No reason to feel guilty about it."

"Yeah." He gave the man a weak smile. "Thanks."

He had saved a life, and not just his own. Tony's. The man who had become as much a father to him as his own father or Ben had been before. And because Tony was still here, Peter knew that even though he wasn't completely back to normal yet, he would be. He was healing and he was happy. With the help of his family, it was all going to be ok.

He and Dr. Strange walked out of the house together back toward the picnic table where everyone was congregated, either eating or dishing up food onto their plates. Pepper was helping Morgan get her plate together, May and Happy were smiling huddled over their food, and Tony was laughing with a mouth full of burger as he talked to Rhodey, Clint, and Nat. Instead of going to get his own plate right away, Peter walked over to Tony and wrapped his arms around him in a hug. Tony instantly reciprocated, but Peter could feel him tense in concern.

"Hey, you ok?" Tony asked lightly, setting his empty hand on the top of his head.

"Yeah." He looked up and smiled. "I'm just really happy you're here."

He could tell Tony knew exactly what he meant. His eyes softened and he smiled back.

"Me too kid." Tony said and kissed the crown of his head. "Me too."

A/N:

Ah it's done! I definitely didn't intend for this to end up this long, but I guess it needed to be for me to work through all my post-Endgame anguish.

As you can see, for those of you that requested it, I thought of a theoretical way to bring Steve back so I threw that in there at the end, but you can decide if you think he took Tony up on his offer or not.

Also, I've gotten a fair amount of questions about the time travel stuff, and even though I usually feel like I've failed as an author if people are asking questions related to the plot/story, this time I don't think it counts because I didn't create this ridiculous time travel idea. So I thought I'd clarify what I interpreted the Endgame time travel explanation to mean. Bruce/Hulk at one point explained that you can go back in time but you can't change your present and then the ancient one explained something about bringing the stones back or there's a possibility of disrupting reality, which putting those two things together I took to mean if you changed something in the past then it created a new branched off alternate reality. But I don't know if that's actually right since I can't explain why Cap stays in the current reality instead of branching off into an alternate one when he goes back and stays (except for plot holes and lazy writing). So maybe I'm wrong, but for the purpose of this story, that's how it works.

Also, some people were asking about how this story fits into the events of Spiderman FFH and if I was going to include it in this story. I didn't, because when I thought about it, I realized that whole scenario wouldn't happen with Tony now alive. Peter wouldn't end up the EDITH glasses and Mysterio wouldn't make his play to be the next big hero using BARF technology with Tony/Ironman not actually gone. So...I guess Quentin Beck is still off in the background stewing over what Tony did to him?

Wow ok this is definitely the longest author's note I've ever written, but I wanted to try to tie up all the loose ends/questions before signing off to finally go start working on the third installment of my Out of darkness series. If you have any comments or think of any other questions I didn't answer, feel free to ask either here or on my Tumblr starryknight09 and I'll try to get back to you!

As always, thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!