Disclaimer – I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender. This AU is a spin off of my one-shot "To Lose is to Gain". It you want to read that first the ID number is 13288571. Just replace the ID number for this story with that number.

To Lose or to Gain: Iroh's Child
Azula Always Lies

"Azula always lies."

The mantra repeated over and over on Zuko's tongue, slipping out in a knotted manner as the eleven-year-old fought back the fearful thoughts which plagued his mind. In the back of his head he remembered his father glibly telling him how he almost threw him over the wall simply because he didn't have the eyes of a Firebender, yet he constantly felt the man's disappointment leveed at his young shoulders.

He didn't know if he ever got any sleep.

A knock on the door to his room made his head jolt up from his half stupor, but his small hands gripped onto the silken sheets in frustration. His entire body shook with fright thinking the person who came as the sunlight from the early morning dawn filtered in through the windows was in fact his father come to kill him. The young prince almost sprung from the bed in terror, yet in the back of his mind he knew full well Azula loved torturing him.

The doors to his room opened revealing a servant and two soldiers on either side of the doorway. Zuko swallowed, wondering if his father was summoning him to be killed. The female servant bowed their head towards him. "Prince Zuko, if you would follow me please."

Zuko swallowed again and slid out of the bed. He fell instep behind the servant. Every so often he would glance over his shoulder at the soldiers while his small hands tucked behind his back. His eyes traveled towards the courtyard and caught sight of Azula playing with her friends while their mother watched on. Briefly Ursa glanced up at him, yet quickly adverted her eyes from his. Zuko's mouth dropped. "Aren't mothers supposed to be protective of their young? Mother said so. Mother never lies."

Ursa's action caught the attention of Azula who looked up at him. A shiver ran down Zuko's face upon seeing the look of disgust plastered across her face, but the fire in the palm of her hands grew bigger. He opened his mouth to say something only for her to turn her nose up into the air.

"Prince Zuko." Zuko's eyes turned towards the servant in confusion. "We must keep moving."

The preteen felt his shoulders hunch up slightly before he started following the servant again. Out of the corner of his eye he saw his sister start tormenting her friends with her Firebending with even more ghusto. A sigh escaped Zuko's lips while his head hung low, yet he continued walking with as much dignity as he could muster.

Eventually they left the household of Prince Ozai, son of Lord Azulon while Zuko's mind contemplated whether or not he was being taken to the slaughter. His small hands twisted slightly, and his mouth clenched together. Bile started coming up his throat, yet he felt as if he might wet himself. In the back of his mind he kept repeating the fact Azula always lied, yet he couldn't keep the doubts at bay.

That was until they took a turn towards the household of Crown Prince Iroh. Zuko's mood brightened slightly, but his head glanced around. His mouth opened. "Is U…" The young prince stopped himself. "Is General Iroh back?"

The servant glanced back at him. "He will be back in a day or two, Prince Zuko."

"Why…" Zuko's head turned toward the ground remembering it wasn't his place to question anything which went on. A shudder went down his spine wondering if perhaps the sacrifice would occur in his Uncle Iroh's household to appease some kind of spirit before his uncle arrived home. "Come on Zuko, you're just being paranoid."

"Prince Zuko…"

Zuko felt himself crash into the back of the servant but felt the soft silk of the servants clothing against his face. He found himself quickly backing away, but a slight brush crept across his face. The servant turned and looked down at him. "Esteemed Prince Zuko, you are right in being paranoid. Afterall, there are those out there who would attempt to assassinate any of the royal family, so you must remember to always, always keep your guard up."

The servant started walking forward, and yet the words she said to Zuko honestly bothered him as he didn't understand why she would speak such words if he were indeed going to his death. Suddenly, he didn't think his grandfather would actually order him dead, yet the way she spoke of attempted assassinations simply didn't click in his mind. "Why?"

Thankfully these words were not said out loud and a sigh escaped Zuko's mouth as he felt more at peace with himself and the current situation, yet his young mind remained confused regarding what was going on. Every so often he peeked ahead, but soon discerned they were heading to Lu Ten's room. For a brief second Zuko thought that might be where his death might take place, and yet this was quickly pushed away.

After all, his grandfather would not want to further upset Uncle Iroh.

Zuko's eyes traveled to the ground while his lips pushed together. In the back of his mind a thought flickered across his mind. "Of course, I doubt anybody would be upset if I were gone. Azula would be absolutely pleased with…"

The young prince's mouth opened slightly while his eyes blinked. When he saw Azula earlier she was definitely not pleased, yet she'd certainly been pleased when she came to torment him the night before. The mantra he always told himself came rushing back. "Azula always lies."

Yet, in the back of his head he knew there was some kind of truth behind what she said, but that truth always made the lies more powerful. Zuko closed his eyes and tried blocking out the negative thoughts. "We're here."

Zuko's head darted up and looked at the doors to Lu Ten's room. He watched the servant open up the room, almost as if inviting him in. Dust from lack of use rose up as the servant entered, yet Zuko couldn't imagine entering Lu Ten's room without Lu Ten actually being there. A strangled cry lodged in his throat, for Lu Ten would never be there again.

"Prince Zuko?"

Zuko shook his head, but felt the tears start forming in his eyes.

"Esteemed Prince Zuko."

"I…"

"Would you please step in the room?"

"No."

"Prince…"

"It's Lu Ten's room. He isn't here."

"This is Fire Lord Azulon's order." The servant looked him in the eye. When Zuko didn't respond the servant said, "Since it is the order of Fire Lord Azulon it is thus not a breach of etiquette."

"I…" Zuko knew he couldn't argue with the Fire Lord and stepped into the room. His eyes caught sight of the tsungi horn which belonged to Lu Ten along with various other objects, but his mouth formed a thin line as he remembered his cousin playing the instrument while Zuko rested his head in Lu Ten's lap with his eyes closed while lying in the warm sun.

"I'll teach you to play one day."

"Really?" Zuko remembered saying, only to counter with, "But father says such things are a waste of time"

"You really shouldn't listen to Uncle Ozai. The tsungi horn is actually an effective way of practicing breath control."

He didn't see the servant step towards the doors so she might close them behind her. "You are to stay here Prince Zuko. There will be guards stationed nearby, but if you need anything these two are right outside the door."

Zuko turned and looked at the woman in horror. "Wait. I don't want…"

"Lord Azulon ordered that you stay in the room until otherwise ordered, but you will take your meals here as well."

The doors clicked shut while Zuko looked on in confusion. He found himself looking around the room. Part of him wanted to crawl into Lu Ten's bed and cry, yet he remembered the lecture he received from Ozai the one time…

There was a night when a very young Zuko found himself wandering the halls of the palace after having awoken from a nightmare, but he somehow found himself just outside of Lu Ten's room looking up at the guards with tears in his eyes. One of the men let Lu Ten know he was outside and Lu Ten beckoned him inside and onto his bed for the night. The lecture came when Lu Ten personally escorted Zuko back to Ozai.

Zuko let out a sigh and collapsed onto the rug in a kneeling position. A few tears fell onto his hands, yet he fought back knowing full well tears were unseemly for someone of his stature as were emotions.

Ozai said so.