How many times must I strain my voice before it will reach you? The things that you want to protect are not the things that I want to protect… I have had the pleasure of standing by your side all this time, watching you grow. What greater happiness can there be?

I am satisfied.

The words echo in her ears, the voice distorted but the pain evident. Ichigo can feel the sorrow in her own soul so starkly that she comes up crying out a denial, hands scrabbling at her chest to reach the source. It takes her several moments to calm down, to recognize the phantom pains as nothing more than heartache and not a physical attack.

Once calm, she notices Kon sitting on her desk, watching her worriedly. Well, as worriedly as a stuffed animal can be.

"Dreams," she tries to assure him. "They- it'll fade with time. I just-"

Kon gives her another look. He turns back to his porn magazine without saying a word and Ichigo feels a touch of warmth. She knows he is worried about her. Silencing tags only keep people outside of her room from hearing her nightmares, but Kon shares her room and more often than not he's the one who wakes her when the dreams or memories become too much.

She gets up and presses a quick kiss to his furry little head, ignoring his indignant squawking that they both know is for show. She heads for the bathroom to wash away the night. Kon teases that the shower has become her 'brooding zone'.

It's been several weeks since Hell, since she allowed her abilities to be sealed and let the last of her reiatsu fade. She can't sense the weakest of spirits, something she'd been able to do for as long as she can remember. It hurts. She knew exactly what she was going in for, she's lived through it once so a second time shouldn't be that hard, right? She was wrong. It aches all the more for remembering what it was like last time, the fear she'd held after that she'd lose her abilities again, that the next time she lost them they wouldn't be coming back.

She has to remind herself that they're not gone for good, that they're lying just under her skin, but not being able to hear Zangetsu is like a disease eating away at her mind. Her only solace is that, when she concentrates hard enough, she can feel the slightest shadow of them at the very edge of her conscious. Sometimes, when she sleeps, they will visit but it's hard to tell the difference between memory, dream, and reality.

Needless to say, Ichigo doesn't sleep the best. Then again, it's been years since her rest was anything close to peaceful.

Ichigo tries to keep a strong face for her friends and family, none of them know the full extent of what's going on but they know enough that they worry. Sealed as she is, it's like time moves slower, the world around her seems almost muted and far emptier than it should be. It reminds her of the world of her time. It's too quiet and the silence grates on her nerves.

Everything is moving into place slowly but surely.

After Hell, Ryūken had taken Ichigo at her word. It took some serious talking before their father agreed but Yuzu has been training with their uncle. She doesn't have her bow yet, her spiritual pressure has finally risen enough that she can see spirits herself so it's only a matter of time now. Karin still has no interest in the spirit world though Ichigo has convinced her to do some basic training with Yoruichi.

Kisuke was given very stern words to stay out of it.

Tatsuki is still training with Kensei but Hiyori says she's ready for the next step. Orihime has been doing some training of her own between Kuna and Hachi. With Ichigo's powers sealed away and all of the other powerful beings either behind shields or in reiatsu-hiding gigai, the number of Hollows has dropped and are more than enough for Uryū to handle alone. The punks at school don't pick fights as often as they used to so Chad doesn't have the outlets he's used to and is starting to become restless. Orihime and Tatsuki have tried getting him to go to the warehouse with them but so far he's declined.

It is close to the time the Gotei was sending envoys to the Visored so it won't hurt if she decides to step in for a moment. Ichigo is thinking it might be time to interfere.

She is toweling her hair dry as she enters her room, contemplating what to do. She can accompany Karin to the shoten, maybe drop a few hints to Kisuke and Yoruichi? Ichigo sighs, tossing the towel to her bed and loosening her body towel. There is a sudden crash behind her and Ichigo snatches the towel closer as she jerks around, eyes darting over the seemingly empty room.

"Kon?" There's no answer and Ichigo debates if she wants to chance crossing to the closet the stuffed lion has claimed as his own. The clock on her desk falling over makes up her mind. "Karin, Yuzu!"

She hates having to rely on her sisters, but Karin comes crashing through the door in moments. "What's wrong?" Her eyes dart around the room, lingering at the window, her desk, and in front of the closet. She scoffs and leans against the wall. Karin doesn't relax in the least, meaning someone is present and while it isn't anyone she readily knows, whoever they are is dressed as a Shinigami.

Ichigo's eyes dart around the room, trying to gain insight on who it could be. "Who the hell is it?"

"Looks like a few pervy Shinigami," Karin scoffs, pulling out a juice box. "They say they're here for some meeting," she continues and realization strikes.

"The Shinigami Men's Association!" Ichigo runs a hand through her hair, rubs it over her face. She forgot they continued to use her room. She honestly thought that they would've found a new place or something. Then again, if she remembers correctly, the whole reason they'd started using her room was because they'd been pushed to hold their meetings in the bathroom…

Her window slides open and a few moments pass before Karin nods, "They're gone."

Ichigo eyes Karin warily but loosens her towel again. Her window shakes from an unseen impact and Ichigo shoots her sister a glare.

Karin smirks and noisily sucks at her juice box. "Okay, now they're all gone."

Ichigo scowls after her sister as she leaves. She should've known with Karin, she really should have. Glancing around the room once more, she grabs a change of clothes and goes to the bathroom to dress. When she comes back, Shūhei is leaning against her desk.

She comes up short at the sight, breath catching in her throat and fingertips trailing to her hip. She remembers this moment now, not knowing how she'd forgotten it begin with.

"I didn't realize you were still holding your meetings here."

"We haven't," Shūhei blushes and scratches at his tattoo, eyes cast to the side in embarrassment. "Things've been busy in Seireitei. This is the first meeting we've had since before the battle and we couldn't think of anywhere to hold it without the SWA chasing us off. We were going to use the opportunity to talk it over, but… well…"

Ichigo finds herself smiling. The Rukon accent always slipped in when he was embarrassed and to see a Fukutaicho so uncomfortable will never be entertaining. "You can keep holding your meetings here," she assures him. "At least one of you should wear your gigai though so I know you're here. You're free to keep using the window, if you use the front door Yuzu will insist on feeding you."

Shūhei perks up at the mention of food, "Really?"

Ichigo snorts at the reaction that seems to be inherent to all Shinigami. "She likes feeding people."

"Ichi-nee!" Yuzu calls up. "You have company!"

"It's the blond and sunglass pervs again!" Karin tags on.

Shūhei's face flushes at the reminder and Ichigo scowls towards the door. She is quick to collect the other two, showing them to her room while Yuzu scolds Karin who is ignoring her in favor of the television.

Both men try apologizing but Ichigo waves them off.

"Like I told Shūhei, you're free to keep using my room for meetings if you want, just wear your gigai. You can use the front door if you don't mind dealing with my sisters and our old man or you can keep using the window, it stays unlocked most of the time anyway. If it's locked, it means stay out."

Iba frowns, "Is that safe?"

Ichigo gives him a flat look, "My old man likes to wake me up with surprise attacks. Best way to dodge is to send him out the window. It takes less time to get the window open if you're not fighting with the lock."

"Right…"

"Ichi-nee," Yuzu peeks around the door. "Are your friends staying for breakfast?"

She glances at the three men who are obviously interested but reluctant to say so. "If that's alright with you?"

"Of course!" Yuzu's face lights up before she suddenly rounds on Ichigo, wielding a wooden spoon. "I'm making your favorite so don't go leaving just yet!"

Ichigo nods, kicking her bag under her desk and safely out of sight. Yuzu nods approvingly before disappearing.

The three Shinigami are all staring at the door.

"Is it just me," Iemura murmurs, "or does she remind you of Unohana-taicho?"

"Yea," Iba nods.

"If the two ever meet, Yuzu will willingly become her disciple," Ichigo smiles. "I may be the eldest, but Yuzu is the real mother hen. When I became a Substitute-Shinigami, I really worried her. Karin already had an idea of what was going on, but Yuzu… she only had the faintest sense of spirits, she couldn't see them or anything like Karin could. After things started settling down, dad and I explained everything to both of them. They're training to hone their own abilities, but I think Yuzu is worried I'm going to get involved in the spirit world again."

"You had no idea we were here earlier," Shūhei says quietly.

Ichigo shakes her head and selects a book at random before settling on her bed. "The last of my abilities faded when I came back from Hell. Right now, Yuzu has more spiritual awareness than I do."

Silence falls over the room then and Ichigo can practically feel their guilt and pity.

"I knew the price I'd be paying and I did what I did," she sighs, thinking of how things were then and now. "Admittedly, it's a little harder than I thought it would be, but I made my decision knowing the price. Now, if things are even half as hectic as I think they are in Seireitei, you don't have a lot of spare time. I doubt you want to spend it angsting over the loss of my powers."

There is a moment of silent indecision before the three men settle in a circle and begin chatting. Ichigo easily tunes them out as she turns her attention to the book in her hands, mind focusing on re-reading Othello.