QUICK NOTE!: my first love story! Okay, sooo of course this story is about Violet after the attack with Lilly and the raiders, I'm trying not to spoil the rest. I promise you guys that this story is going to a good one! Rated M for heavy sexual themes, domestic and sexual abuse, strong language, domestic and gory violence. Oh yeah, this story is kinda f*cked up; but enjoy=3

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Lonely Wolf presents:

Mateo

ch1.Sorry

Violet sat quietly on her bed waiting for Ruby to check on her eyes. Her eyes still stung a little as she blinked and her vision was still kind of blurry; but not as bad after she tried to stop the explosion. She still couldn't believe this; she didn't want to believe it, Minnie, her long lost companion, her only family; her long lost love was gone physically and also she was gone mentally. The Minnie she knew and love was sweet, caring, just blooming with life before the raiders captured her and Sophie manipulating her into another different person, almost a complete stranger.

I can't believe I lost her, she thought, everyone I love leaves my sorry ass. She thought back to Clementine who'd she attack back on the boat. She heard about about her being brought in with only one leg this morning and hasn't woken up since she passed out. She regretted everything. She regretted attacking her on that boat after being led into believing she would lose her and her friends lives if she tried to escape. This could be the last time she would ever see Clem. She sacrificed everything for them, and for her to try and screw it up by trying to kill her; it should of been her suffering, not Clem. She was truly a guardian angel; she couldn't lose her too.

She heard footsteps coming to her room quickly turning to the door. She saw the blurry vision of Ruby with the bandages, a bottle of water, and rags. Violet sighed as she knew it was a little painful as Ruby would clean her eyes to keep them from getting infected.

"Hey Vi," she greeted with her tone kind of tired and sad.

"Hey Ruby," Violet responded looking away, "let's just get this shit over with."

She nodded and walk over towards her bed first grabbing a rusty fold chair sitting it in front of the bed. She sat down and unwrapped her right eye that she lost vision in. She took one of the rags and wet it dabbing it around her eyes. Violet winced a little at stinging of wet rag being placed around the burned skin and tried hard not to flinch.

"How ya doin hon?" Ruby asked still dabbing the rag around her eyes.

"Blind."

Ruby scoffed, "Come on Vi, you won't be blind forever. Just give them pretty eyes of yours to regain their vision."

"I guess," she sighed, "I was just so fucking stupid on that boat. I might be blind forever just because I couldn't stop a damn bomb."

"It's not your fault, them ass hats were just messin with your head at the time."

"It's my fault for believing them in the first place. I'm so pathetic."

"Oh Vi, your no where near pathetic, just a little feeble minded," Ruby giggled making Violet roll her eyes.

When she got done, she wrapped the clean bandages around her eye putting the old one in the little bin by Violet's bed. She touched her bandages and sighed heavily thinking this was going to be a new normal thing for her.

"Thanks Ruby," she said with her head down.

"Your welcome hon."

She gathered all of her supplies and got up making it towards the door. Before she left, Violet quickly thought of something and ran towards her towards. Ruby looked at her with concern and wanted to question her behavior.

"What's wrong Vi?"

She closed her eyes and sighed, "Is Clem gonna be okay?"

Ruby shook her head and sighed heavily, truly she wasn't sure, "I dunno Vi. From the looks of it, she ain't lookin too good. Surprisingly she ain't turned yet, but she still ain't wake up ever since AJ brought her in this mornin. Oh that poor boy, he's so worried about her."

Violet pinched the bridge of her nose as tears almost threaten to come from her weary eyes, "C-can I….see her, please?"

Ruby sighed and nodded, "Sure Vi, just if she turns on ya….please get me."

"I will."

Ruby walked with Violet through the dorm halls making it to Clem and AJ's room. The door was shut and seemed very quiet from the outside. Before Violet could go in, Ruby gave her a little knife and a little rub on the back.

"I put AJ in Lou's room for the night so if she turns, he won't have to see her like that. Just make sure if she does, you know what do."

Violet nodded, "I do, I won't take long."

"I'm bout to hit the hay, get some rest when you're done. You need it."

She walked into the halls leaving Violet to herself. She grabbed the doorknob and started to breathe heavily. The thought of Clem turning made heart stop. She never wanted to hurt her. Ever.

She slowly opened the door as she peaked at an unconscious Clementine. She soon stepped in quietly and and slow. She saw her wrists taped down on the bars the same way they did when they first rescued her and AJ when their car crashed. As she took her leisurely steps towards her bed, she came to an abrupt stop, widened her remaining eye putting her hands over her mouth when she saw it: her amputated leg. Her leg was really gone. This time Violet couldn't hold it in, she fell down to her knees as she put her hands over face sobbing quietly to herself. She was trying not to wake anyone as she almost couldn't help it ignoring the stinging sensation in her eyes as tears came down.

"Oh Clem!" she cried softly as her voice cracked through her sobs, "why you?!"

She grabbed hold of the bed's bars as she crawled up upon the bed. She sat by the injured girl wiping away her tears and turning towards her. She placed her hand over her head sighing heavily at her pitiful state. Luckily her her head wasn't burning up.

"H-hey Clem," she sniffled still trying to hold back more tears, "I heard about what happened with you and Minnie on the bridge. And….what happened to Tenn."

She still rubbed her head and brushed some of the brunette's curly hair behind her ear. She soon started to caress her cheek can't help to admire her beauty in the moonlight, "I know you might not hear me but if you do, I just want to thank you. You done and suffered more shit than anyone could've in this fucking school just to rescue us from those assholes."

Violet scooted more closer to her touching the severed leg before turning away and crying again, "You don't deserve this," she whimpered, "you never deserved any of it. All that shit I said on the boat, I didn't mean it I swear! My head was all sorts of fucked up, I thought I might of been protecting the others from getting killed, but all I did was screw up even more, like I always do."

She took a breath, "Clem, I never meant to hurt you, I never thought I'll ever see you like this. And now that you're here, I regret everything I ever said and done to you."

She ripped off the tape from her left wrist and gently squeezed and rubbed her hand with her thumbs, "God you're such an amazing person, I've never met an angel like you." She pulled her hand closer leaning down placing her forehead over it. She closed her eyes taking her deep breaths before saying this:

"I can see why Louis is so in love with you. I know this might be outta topic, but ever since I got to know you, I knew there was something special in you and maybe he did too; maybe even before me. But I never got to tell you how I really felt for you all the time you were here, I was….I was just so...afraid of what you might think. Now knowing you might never wake up again, I just have to say it."

"I….I….," she struggled to get the words out as she thought she'd never say these words again before Minnie was captured, "fuck! I love you Clem! I know you love Louis and you probably hate my ungrateful ass after everything I done to you, but I love you so much; and I would give up my life just to have you back a million more times."

She got closer to her as her heart started pounding faster and faster by the second. She bent down closer to Clem's expressionless face, she studied the girl's features as she noticed her lips were slightly parted. I never knew how beautiful you were, she thought with a smile as she caressed her cheek. I never knew that I'll love you this much.

Violet traced Clem's parted lips before doing what she'll never thought she'll do to another person. She slowly leaned in closer before placing her lips upon hers. The blood rushed through veins as soon she started to rub her waist making it down to her thighs. For her kiss was passionate, she soon started to kiss her neck down to her chest. Was she crazy? Is this what she really wanted? Maybe or maybe not. She thought if this was wrong, she never wants to be right.

After she pulled away, she almost pushed the boundaries by unbuttoning Clem's jeans and pulling them down to have her way with her as she started to tug at her underwear. When she realized what she was about to, she quickly stopped herself by pulling her jeans back up and buttoned them. She cursed under her breath and dug down through her pale blonde hair realizing she was about to take advantage of the girl without her even knowing.

"I'm so fucking stupid," she growled pinching the bridge of her nose, "here I am about to fuck you and you're not even awake. You'd probably hate me even more on what I was about to do to you."

She hopped off the bed turning towards her giving her a depressed expression as she still couldn't believe on what she was about to do, "That's why you don't deserve an ass like me Clementine, you deserve better. I think Lou was the prefect fit for you. He needs someone like you; not me."

She bent down placing one last little kiss on Clem's forehead, "I hope you get better soon."

Her voice started to crack once more as she started to cry softly walking fast to the door wanting to get out of there as soon as possible making it seem that nothing ever happened. She walked out the room feeling as she'd been punched in the gut. She slowly closed the door before dropping to the floor against it hugging her knees and burying her face into them. She had never felt so pathetic in her entire life, from losing the only person she ever loved, to pushing all the people whoever tried to help her; including Clem. She truly was alone.

"I'm so sorry Clem." she wept, "sorry, for everything."

Sooo, that was chapter one, told you it was going to be f*cked up. But I hope you guys enjoyed this one! I know it was kinda short, but don't worry! The other chapters are gonna be longer and chapter two is being worked on as we speak. So stay tuned for more drama comin soon;)