Hello everybody! My name is Izuku Midoriya, your main protagonist in this story! Well, either that or I get sent to jail for the stupid shit I do. Oh well! Let me describe myself for you so you have an idea of what the hell you should be seeing.

When God decided to drop me off on Earth to be babysat by mortals, he decided to make me a cute boy. I have curly green hair with eyes to match, a freckled covered face, and a short, skinny stature. Thankfully, I decided to work out so I can beat up my damn bullies. Now I have a six-pack with some sexy muscles, providing you an all-in-one package of cute and sexy; though, the hot is going to be hidden unless I take off my shirt. Sorry, everyone! Maybe soon you will get to swoon over me.

God did forget to give me something when he decided to sacrifice me into the wild, however. He forgot to provide me with a quirk. Or maybe he was trying to get rid of me, but that isn't happening anytime soon! A quirk is a superpower that you can have from ripping your eyeballs out of your head to super strength. Heroes came out with quirks. They are supposed to be there to protect the public, even if I have my problems with them. If you have read any superhero story, that is what my world is. Except instead of just Superman having power, 80% percent of the population has a superpower. I call bullshit on this statistic because I'm the only quirkless person in my school. The other 20% percent are quirkless like me, meaning we're just there for show as other bodies to be hanging around. I'm willing to bet at least 95% of that 20% quirkless population is elderly, so damn my life. Natural selection, I guess. There are villains too, but that is kind of expected. Anyway, now back to reality!

I'm in class, and it's 'figure out what the hell you want to do in life' day. The teacher made the thing only last five seconds by saying that everyone wants to be a hero and throwing the papers up. The students agree as they show off their quirks. YOU CAN'T USE YOUR QUIRKS IN PUBLIC, ASSHATS!

"Hey, don't slump me in with these extras, teach. They will be lucky if they end up as sidekicks in some old torn-down agency." Bakugo Katsuki sneers. Oh yeah, he exists, huh? Damn it; I got to explain him, I guess. Bakugo is my bully that I used refer to as Kacchan before discrimination came in and ruined that! You know that asshole in every anime that the girls either hate or fall in love with for some strange reason? This is your man! Ashy blonde hair, demon red eyes, a nice body, and a salty look on his face always to top it all off! It's honestly surprising that he wants to be a hero when he is just a dipwad to me. Unless you are Endeavor, that shit don't fly honey! Before I go on a rant, I will let this keep going.

"Ah, Bakugo, you're aiming for UA, yes? It seems Midoriya is too." I swear the teacher is wanting some drama for saying that. I can hear kids starting to gossip while Bakugo is setting off explosions in his hands due to his quirk. Welp, time to set the stage, folks!

"At least I have the balls to try over the rest of you except Bakugo," I say with a smirk. This sparks outrage in the classroom. Bakugo walks over, slamming his hands on my desk and exploding the poor thing. I ask him, "What's up, firework?"

The teacher loudly says, " The bell is about to ring, Bakugo." Nevermind, the teacher wants me dead. At that note, the bell rings, and most students leave, but Bakugo and I. Before looking down at my dead body, I grab my notebook and bookbag and make a dash out. I have more important things to worry about than him, and it works on my endurance. Got to look on the positive is what the therapist frequently says, yes?

"GET BACK HERE DEKU!" Deku is my nickname that is supposed to mean useless. Mom didn't think my name all the way through, unfortunately, but I still got a bomb-ass regular name.

"No, thank you, but I appreciate the exercise! You're a great encouragement, firecracker!" Forgot to mention, Bakugo's quirk is Explosion. He can basically make explosions in his hands. For some reason, this makes him seem like a blessed man, but all I see is a nuclear bomb about to go off. Thank God for thinking all the way through and only making his hands able to do so. Otherwise, we would have the bomb at the party. I run out of the building, out-speeding him quickly because I focus too much on my physical health. He only has explosions while I have a brain and a sexy body that nobody can see unless I'm not wearing a shirt. I come upon a little bridge. I'm running past to work on my calves when this slime villain shows up.

"A medium-size meat disguise! That should work. Come here, kid!" The villain tries to grab me, but I dodge quickly. I trained for this shit, after all. I could run, but I don't want to risk anybody's life. I can hope a hero comes, though it seems, based off of his context, that he is already being chased after. Welp, time to put my training into action! I continue to move around, able to hop around without a problem as I have an endless amount of energy. If he is about to grab me, I run the wall to throw him off. Then, help has arrived!

"DO NOT WORRY BECAUSE I AM HERE!" Screams some hero, "SMASH!" The slime is obliterated. I bet those people on Youtube who makes slime videos will be crying at the vast amount of slime lost. Oh well, he tried to kill me. Now on to the hero.

I turn around to find myself face to face with All Might, the number one hero, the 'Symbol of Peace.' As a fellow addict for hero information, I know too much about the guy. I probably know more about him than the hero does himself. That doesn't mean I'm going to past out on sight like most fanboys.

"Are you okay, citizen?" All Might asks with his booming voice. The best way to describe him is he looks like Superman with a huge smile.

"I'm fine, glad you came! I thought I was fucked!" I can see All Might looking shocked at the curse. Oh yeah, he is extremely PG, huh? Welp, I will have fun with that.

"You shouldn't curse!" The hero says as he pours out two bottles of pop and begins to clean up the slime. I guess I can say to the slime people that at least the slime is staying together? I don't know how else to encourage them.

I decided to ask him a question, " Do you mind if I ask you a question while you are cleaning up body parts?"

"Go ahead, young ...?" Young? Alright then.

"Izuku. Before you ask, that is my given name, and I could care less what people refer to me as. We have more important things in the world to worry about. Anyway, out of curiosity, do you believe someone quirkless can become a hero?" I always ask this question to any hero I come across just to see how people view the world. All Might stops for a moment, having cleaned up the slime before looking at me.

"No, I don't believe someone quirkless can become a hero. It's simply too dangerous." A simple and straight-to-the-point statement.

"Huh, alright, then. What is interesting is that I have never heard a single hero say yes to the question. Yet, quirkless can be just as capable as someone with a quirk. Just give them a gun or a nuke, and they are automatically more powerful than someone with a quirk. Someone with a quirk can dodge a bullet, but for how long? Anyway, thank you, and later!" I was about to walk off, but I turn around with a shit-eating grin on my face," Oh yeah, I'm going to become a hero. I'm quirkless, so I'm doing it to prove you and others wrong. Once that happens, I will give you the beautiful middle finger. You better keep your eyes open!" Yep, that was threatening enough. I walk off like a bloody bad-ass.

I am not kidding. About an hour later, I run across the same damn slime idiot. Guess All Might didn't screw the top tight enough like the bolts in his brain.

I was heading to work when I came across a villain attack. What is interesting isn't the slime dude is back or that he captured Bakugo because karma has been knocking on his door a while. It's that there are three heroes on the scene doing nothing.

NOTHING!

Now, I could care less about Bakugo as a friend, but I'm not going to let the idiot die in such a pitiful display if I can do something about it. I know he is going to scream at me for this, but he doesn't deserve the exquisite pleasure of death yet. I understand that you shouldn't approach because the same idiot is causing explosions that could hurt anybody. So what does the frickin quirkless boy do?

I run from the crowd, screaming, " DIY PROJECT, LOOK AT ME! I HAVE SOME BEADS I NEED TO THROW IN TO MAKE SOME CRUNCHY SLIME!" With a remark like that, the villain is bound to look. With a knife in my hand (I always have one on me because I'm a sociopath), I throw it at the slime dude and hit it directly in the eye. The slime screams as it lets go of Bakugo, giving him a few precious seconds to breathe. Bakugo lets off some more explosions, but he gets captured again. Before I consider making the slime blind, All Might comes in screaming 'DETROIT SMASH,' making the idiot go into pieces again. What is interesting is that it rains afterward. I must say that it's an impressive show of power. I can't deny that. I ain't stupid, no matter how much I act stupid.

After that drama, I am sat down by the three pro heroes that didn't know how to get their heads out of their asses.

"That was very dangerous! You could have gotten yourself killed!" Exclaims a Pro-Hero, Death-Arms is his name, I believe, or something like that.

Time to crumble the pro-heroes' mentality!

"Maybe if you actually did something instead of thinking about who you're going to cheat on your wife with tonight, you wouldn't have two lives on the line! You heroes rely too heavily on your quirks." I stand up, walking over to my bloodied knife, picking it up, and showing it to them, "You see this? Anybody can use one with some practice, and you can buy a whole pack with some forks too and maybe some spoons for your baby food for like ten bucks. Quirks aren't the solution to all your problems. I hope all three of you get a mark for your arrogance, especially when the hero over there is praising him for using his quirk illegally, might I add! The same quirk that prevented you from 'fulfilling your job' now!"

I'm speaking the truth here. Bakugo is getting praised for keeping the heroes away with his explosions while I'm here getting in trouble for LEGALLY attacking a villain. They have no laws for the quirkless anyway! I point to the news people before saying, " You better be getting this. This needs to be known for all the citizens. They have the right to know. One more thing." I look back on the pro-heroes, staring deep into their soul, " I'm just an ordinary citizen like everyone else here. Yet, I had to come in and do your job for you. I recommend either fixing your act or quitting your jobs. Good day everybody!" I run off because I'm late to work — damn idiots.

I'm hoping the divorce for Death-Arms gets written in the newspaper. I will hang that bitch on my wall as part of my memorial.

I finished work within a couple of hours because it was a short day. Now I'm walking home. Well, I was. Then Bakugo shows up to cause more drama.

"DEKU, I DIDN'T NEED YOUR HELP!" The kid screams. I told you he would scream at me!

I will be honest. I have no filter. I might need to later, but I will appreciate it now while I am still cute. I respond, " Unless you were aiming for a demon to pick you up, you needed help. Now I have a home life to get to. Bye-bye!'

"You shouldn't apply for UA. That is my dream! My dream to be the only kid from this shit school to get in there! You will die at the entrance exam, so make yourself useful and don't." Alright, so the usual stuff.

"Anything else?" No response. I start to walk off when Bakugo decides to open his mouth again.

"You know, maybe you should take a swan dive off a roof and hope you get a quirk in your next life, you useless Deku." Time to fuck him up.

"I already tried, honey! God said he didn't want me back in his world, and Satan isn't prepared for my ass! Also, we might as well be back in the old days of America when racism was a thing because that is what is happening here. I guess Japan has to have its time. Might as well make it with quirks! I wonder if segregation will come up again? I'm getting off track. See you at the exam, dipshit!" I say as I run off before Bakugo runs after me.

Five minutes, I run across another man.

"DO NOT WORRY, I AM-!" It's interrupted by hacking. I look to find All Might, but as he was screaming his damn catchphrase, he transformed into a skeleton. I would say I am dramatizing, but I'm not.

All Might is the skinniest man I have seen, and I can say that because he is thinner than me. It just looks sad. Then the blood down his mouth doesn't help.

"I was right about the three-hour time limit! Point for me! Now, do I need to call 911?" All Might looks at me, surprised. I know a lot of shit, dude.

"No no no! I'm fine!"

"Um, you have blood on your face. I think we have different definitions, sir." All Might excuses himself, wiping the blood off.

"Well, I'm here to offer you something! Izuku, you can become a hero! I'm willing to give you my quirk!" I already don't like where this is going as he continues to ramble, "My quirk is called One for All. It allows me to stockpile power and pass it to the next person. I would like you to be my successor for One for All. This will not be easy, but you have it in you. The heart of a hero. Izuku, will you accept my power?" Okay, I get this is almost like a marriage proposal, and you're supposed to take this seriously.

Obviously, I can not.

You know that one bitch in the friend group that starts shitty drama, leaves, and then randomly comes back to start supporting you again? This is the definition of what All Might is doing!

"Let me get this straight. With your quirk, I can become a hero, but without one, I'm fucked?" I ask. This makes All Might rewind.

"Um...um...would you like my quirk?" Trying to avoid the question All Might?

"Fuck, no!"

Details were redone to match new story details on 10/26/2019.

12/22/2019