Please read, review, and enjoy! I hope you enjoy what I did, because I had no idea where I wanted this to go. I still don't honestly, but I think I did good.

"So. Tell me what happened, from the beginning. I need every detail."

This is not how I expected it to go.

I am, at the moment, sitting across from Momonga, who is back in his undead form. My wings rested on the chair uncomfortably, though I could still ignore it. There was no maid in the room, as he had beckoned them to leave just a few moments prior. The ring I generously gifted him sat noticeably on his desk, sitting cleanly on the right side. I wonder if he enjoyed "it"?

"Well, for starters, I was in my room, scouting the outside of Nazarick via the mirror of remote viewing. I found a forest, and quickly went past it. And, as luck would have it, I found a village. A human village." This was all true. Now, I'm going to need to downplay this, but I think something can be done to save me. Plus I should be in Albedo's good graces since I gave her the ability to do him, so I might be able to count on her to save me...

No, probably not. She is ultimately loyal to him after all.

"And you saw it under attack?" He asked, while the lord of death raised his hand as if telling me to give him the truth. I want to say 'you can't handle the truth' and he hasn't even said the line yet, my god.

"Yes. The attack came from a knight squadron under the special forces of a country south of us, known as the Slane Theocracy. We are in roughly the middle of a forest, with nations completely surrounding us. Ignoring that, I went to help and maybe save some people." The map should be able to cover for my lack of a country spiel like Judas did, hence why I'm not going into that. {Comprehend Languages} is the perfect spell for this, and I have confirmed that it'll work on the map. And I know that bastard can use it, he has like 800 spells after all.

"Here is my first problem. I understand that time was of the essence, and that you didn't want to bother me, which I am thankful for. My question, is why you specifically denied any of the NPCs a chance to go with you."

"You act like you don't know why. They can barely handle us when we're in Nazarick can you imagine how they would be when we're out of it? They'd go crazy and kill every thing within a ten mile perimeter just for 'safety'. I am not letting that happen. Besides, nothing went wrong..."

"Do you know what the maid you left in your room did when you left?"

"I assume she would have followed my orders and told someone I left and not to come..."

"She did. They yelled at her, and then she had the lesser equivalent of a mental breakdown, thinking that she was the reason that you left them."

"Dear god, they are really unstable. But still, on my end, I gave out no information, gained plenty, and got someone for Neuronist to interrogate in order to find out if any of it is wrong! Can you imagine yourself doing better?" I know I'm probably in the wrong in this statement, but I truly might have done better then him here. I imagine he would've gone for a "masked magic caster" look, but I certainly got more information than he would've.

"I can. By the way, I think she's still in your room, though I do not know for sure."

"She isn't." I quickly said. When I got back via {Greater Teleportation}, because I can't use {Gate}, I was back in my room. I went to Momonga's office pretty much immediately, but I did have a quick look around to see if she was still there or not. And she was not there, so I assume she's in either the maid quarters, one of the guardian's rooms, or maybe the cafeteria. I'll find out later to talk with her, I guess.

"Back on topic. You should not have gone. But I can't fault you for wanting to save lives with our new power. So good job on that."

"Why than-" I was cut

"But, I can fault you for the rest of it. What you did was nothing short of stupid! You rushed in blindly without any plan and hoped for the best! You have NO IDEA how lucky you are!" he screamed.

This is how I expected it to go.

He's... not wrong though. But what was I supposed to do? Just let the children die? I don't think so. Though my luck stat was pretty high, so it would explain my apparent luck. Leprechaun grinding was the second fastest way to raise the luck stat, next to buying cash items for it. And I maxed out the stat with it.

"But it worked."

"I DO NOT CARE! You put yourself in danger! Do you have any idea what the NPCs would have done if you had died?" He questioned very angrily. That is a good point, though. Not one I can argue against. I mean, I didn't create many of them, mainly the demons of the Lemegenton, though they weren't all that strong. Though I could count as a step-dad for most of Nazarick as a whole, as I was the go-to helper for coding and ideas.

"Oh, they would have gone crazy..."

"THEY WOULD HAVE GONE GENOCIDAL!" he yelled. As much as I hate to admit it, he's probably right. Most of Nazarick -meaning practically all but Sebas- is evil aligned, and would have no problems with genocide. Hell, most, if not all, of the guardians could probably omnicide the planet single-handedly, or at least with little trouble. Gods, assuming this world has them, might be able to beat them, but that's assuming they can interact in the world or materialize like in World Fall™.

"But, some-fucking-how, nothing went wrong. Continue your story." And back to the main topic. Thank you emotional repression, for lightening my load.

"Well, I teleported to behind two little girls, who were being attacked by a theocracy knight. As I appeared in front of him, he saw me, and thought I was a god from what I understand to be the main religion of this world. His exact words were: 'It's the god of life.' So, I took it and ran with it. I gave him an 'order of god' to stop attacking the children, and he did. I summoned my seraph, who is currently in my room by the way, and tell the knight to come with me so I can save the village."

"And..."

"And the two girls stop me, by asking for my name."

"You didn't tell them did you? I mean, I no said that you gave no information, but..."

"Please, I didn't even answer them. The knight did. And what an interesting answer it was." Time to drop the bomb. "He said that my name was Alah Alaf, the god of life."

"Wasn't he from Seraphim..."

"While it existed, yes. And you know what that means, yes?"

"We aren't the first ones here. There are others from YGGDRASIL who've been here, in this world. Do you know of any others?"

"Yes. I sent the seraph to sort out the town, and went on a nice, comfy, exposition-filled walk with the knight. I learned of the nearby countries and a few far away ones, and got him to tell me most of what he knew. From what I understand, every two-hundred or so years, Players from YGGDRASIL come here. Beyond that, I know no names, other than that Surshana came with Alah Alaf. I can't give you any real details, but I'm sure Neuronist will be able to soon."

"Right, who went to her? Was it the knight you went with?"

"No, while the seraph was in town, the captain of the knights disobeyed him, despite seeing him as a godly figure. According to the knight I walked with, the captain was a corrupt man who bought his position with money instead of merit. Any way, the seraph killed him, I resurrected him and teleported him to Neuronist's room. I'm sure he'll have a fun time, but It isn't like I have any pity for him anyway."

"Did you get a map for the surrounding nations?"

"Yes, though I got it later. Anyway, we basically just walked around the village. The seraph cleaned up the knights, and got them -minus their captain- in a group in front of the village. I talked to the knight all the way around and got as much information as I could, even some on his personal life, though it is useless. Once we had met up with the knights and my seraph, I did a god talk with them, showing how disappointed I was at them for killing innocent humans for no reason. It was then that I learned of their mission, which was to lure out a man named Gazef Stronoff, who is... was the strongest knight of the kingdom we were in."

"Just lure him out?"

"Their job was to lure him, it was another group's job to kill him once he was there."

"Makes sense. Like PK tatics- using a weak group to attract someone strong and worth a kill, to use a stronger second group to collect the loot."

"Exactly. So, basically, I sent them back to the theocracy, and told them to tell their country to get their shit together. Then I went back into the village, after sending my seraph to scout from the skies, which he did a shit job of, really."

"What do you expect, a seraph is a combat summon, why would it have detecting skills?"

"Fair point, but he still did worse than you'd expect. So, I went into the village, calmed the people down and had a talk with the village chief. I got a map, some of their money, and a rough guess on how much our gold would be worth in their money." As I said the item's names, I pulled them out. Momonga stared at the map as it was pulled out, yet gave no more than a quick glance to the silver and copper coins I got.

"So how much would our gold be worth?"

"Roughly twice as much as their gold coins, though I don't know what that in and of itself is worth."

"So that knowledge is useless then."

"Not entirely. We could use it eventually."

"Yeah, sure. I'm going to focus on the map. {Comprehend Languages}. Do you know our position?" Ah yes, where are we? The quintessential question to start every isekai adventure.

"We are roughly here, in the forest, as I understand it. With the village I went to south, and a city of the same kingdom further south, and then the theocracy the knights were from even further south. Back to the tale of my grand adventure-"

"Just do a quick summary, I'm more interested in the map and information we can actually use."

"Fine, be a spoilsport. So Gazef Stronoff and his warrior band showed up, the theocracy's scripture showed to kill him and surrounded the village. He and his men did an head first attack at them to break the encirclement; they broke through, but still lost in the end. I decided it was best to not get involved in international politics and didn't help him and they all left shortly after. Then after checking to make sure they left, I came back." Despite my short rushed summary, I didn't really lose any real facts. Guess he was right about not needing most of my information.

"Good job on not doing that, that would have been a head ache. But since you did fuck up and go directly against my orders, as your guild master, I have the right to punish you. Punishment will be at a later time. Now leave my office, I have paperwork to do and things to consider."

"What is that punishment going to be?" I questioned.

"Your punishment will be decided at later date. Now, please, I have paperwork to do because of you and others, so get out."

"Alright, but one last question." This'll be good...

"What is it?" He impatiently asked.

"How was it with Albedo?" And for the payoff...

"GET OUT!" And it's a homerun! Good job Lucifer, you win again.

Now that that was over, I have a few things I need to do.

Job numero uno: find sad maid and cheer up, stop suicide attempt if needed.

Job two: go to Titus and get my motorcycle blueprints to give to Demiurge for experimentation.

Job three: find Albedo, and get details.

I don't really need to do them in that order, though it does make the most sense to do it that way. Now, if I was a maid, where would I be?

So it appears that going to the cafeteria first was the right call, because there was only one-technically two if you count head chef in the connected kitchen- in the room. The maid from earlier, though I still didn't know her name, was alone laying her head in her arms on one of the tables. She wasn't crying, so that was good. Also, though I had opened the doors to walk in, she hadn't noticed, and simply continued laying on the table. She was quite clearly depressed. Now how am I supposed to fix this?

I suppose first I should find out which one she is, at the very least a name would make this easier.

I silently cast {Identify} on her and this is the result.

Etoile- Hummonculi Maid of Ainz Ooal Gown

Creator- Coup De Grâce

Level- 1

Race- Hummonculus

Job Classes-

Maid- level 1

Racial classes-

Sex- Male

Description- Etoile is the french word for star, and as her name it describes her perfectly. She is a shining beacon among the maids, and is a perfectionist at heart. However, she deeply fears failure, and the very thought of messing up anything, no matter how small it may be, terrifies her. Thankfully, she has a perfect track record. She is a star afraid to fall. She secretly lusts for love, though she holds her want under the perfect mask of always being happy. She has a tendency to daydream, and does so to the point where it can be considered her hobby. However, she never lets it interfere with her work.

Status- Normal

Well, that is a bullet I am glad to dodge. So he/she's one of the trap maids I made when I edited them using the staff of Ainz Ooal Gown. I didn't expect to see one of them showing up so soon. And if you're wondering why his description calls him a her, well excuse me for not caring enough to change the small details.

Back to his character, being a perfectionist is not going to make this easy. That already means that he'll have taken this harder than the others would have. And they would already take this hard, so this is going to be even harder. But my word is law for them, so maybe it'll even out? Time hope for my luck and charisma to kick in, huh?

"Hey, you okay?" I said smoothly, as I slowly walked towards him. I tried to appear as non-threatening as possible, even letting my wings droop a little, despite how annoyingly uncomfortable it was. He reacted slowly, as it took him time to comprehend what was happening. That and he was just crying, so a lessened grip on what's happening around you is just par for the course, really.

"L-lord Luci_fer! I-i'm sorry for letting you see me like this..." He immediately stood up, bolting out of his seat, before turning to me to bow. He straightened out his uniform as he did so, though it didn't really work. Tear stains can't be fixed by tugging on clothing. He had a girly, high-pitched voice which I suppose is fitting for trap. I wonder if he could be friends with mare?

"Relax, I just wanted to have a talk. Please, sit down." I asked, putting my voice in as comforting a tone as I could. As he sat back down, I followed suit, taking the seat opposite to him. "So, I'll ask again. Are you okay?"

I mean, the answer is obviously no, but I still need to ask, right?

"Of course! You have no need to worry about me, my lord!" He quickly blurted, rushing his words. He sounded like he was afraid of being reprimanded and yelled at. This is not going to be easy. But easy isn't what I signed up for, is it?

"Well then, could you tell me what happened after I left?" I gently spoke. Getting him to talk about what happened should open him up a bit, at which point I can help him with his insecurities, and confirm that he did nothing wrong. Like in a dating sim from the early 2000s. Except no puzzles, and I don't need to give them food. And my ultimate goal isn't sex. Maybe it isn't so similar then. Still, you get the point, right?

"W-well, after you t-teleported, I-I went out of your room immediately to tell Lord Momonga as soon as I could. S-so I ran out of the room and went straight to my lord's room, but he wasn't there! So then I went to find the nearest guardian I could, so I went Guardian Overseer Albedo's office to tell her, but she wasn't there either! I was really, really worried, s-so I started panicking, and t-then I ran into Head Butler Sebas." He quickly spouted the information like a faucet, but I didn't learn anything good. It turns out that I was directly responsible for most of his problems today. Maybe I should be a bit more focused on my effect on others. I mean, I'm all for chaos and pissing people off, I don't want to really hurt people's lives. Not most people, anyway. There are only two people I can think of that I can honestly say I would not feel bad about if I ruined their lives, and neither of them should be here. God, I hope they aren't.

"So then he t-told me to calm down and tell him what happened. So I-I told him how you left to save the village, and how you ordered me to tell Lord Momonga about your departure and to not worry and to not send backup. A-and he, he-" This sounds worrying. Sebas is one of the few moral people in nazarick, so I wouldn't expect him to be mean to maid for something like this. But then again, he's probably just as crazy as the rest of the NPCs in terms of 'our safety'. Plus Momonga told me that he got yelled at, so there's extra evidence.

"He didn't yell at me like I thought he would." That makes sense. "He calmed me down and told me to go back to my duties. He said that I did the right thing in following your orders, and that I carried them out to the best of my ability."

"So then the problem is..?" If she was crying over Sebas yelling at him, that would make sense. If it was about the other maids making fun of him or insulting him, though it seems unlikely to happen, it was still possible. But considering that he hadn't said anything on the maids and was hung over on this part of the story, that says that it is more about what Sebas said. But he didn't yell at her. So where is the problem here?

"But I-I hadn't! I failed! Not only could I not complete your orders and tell lord Momonga that you were gone, but I let you go in the first place too! What if you had gotten hurt! What if you had died! I should have at least gone with you to make sure nothing happened, but no! I wasn't even competent enough for that! I'm so sorry for being s-such a, a, a... a failure, my lord." So he's angry at himself then. Which means that he has a self-esteem problem huh? Makes sense for a perfectionist, I guess. So I just need to tell him that Sebas was right and that he did nothing wrong. Shouldn't be too bad.

"But you didn't though. True, you didn't tell Momonga that I had left, but he wasn't there for you to inform in the first place. That isn't your fault. And I'm going to say this now, but even if you asked to come with me, I would not have allowed it. You're only a level 1 maid, where as I am a level 100 warrior. There is nothing that you could handle that I couldn't. Not to say that you don't matter, but you would not be able to make a difference if there was a threat there. And there wasn't a threat in the first place, so you really don't need to worry about what happened. You aren't in the wrong."

"R-really?" God, they sound like mare? Maybe traps just sound alike or something?

"Yes. So don't worry. I don't blame you for anything, and no one else will either."

"O-okay then. I will believe in your words, lord." He sniffled. His eyes were still red, though all of his tears had dried up. I'm surprised it was that easy. Surprisingly enough, he looks happier already. Now I just need to go to the library and then talk with albedo. Though on second thought, maybe I should ask the chef to make something for my talk...

"Please, just call me Lucifer."

So, since job one is over, the next thing I need to do is job two: getting the motorcycle blueprints from Titus. I left the cafeteria a small bit ago and went straight to the library in a quick, but enjoyable stroll. Nazarick really is beautiful. Or rather, the ninth and tenth floors of it, at least. Not so sure about the first three floors, but that isn't the point. Safe to say, the walk was enjoyable.

"Welcome to mine domaineth, thine lord!" Titus greeted cheerfully. He was a.. strange character. He was an elder litch like Momonga, but unlike him, Titus was not made of an entirely human skeleton. He was a fusion of both human and animal bones, with goat hooves for feet and only four fingers per hand. He also had two horns that came out of his head, which were made of deer antlers. And then there was his arguably weirdest trait which he was named after: his accent. He can only speak in a Shakespearean dialect, since he was named after a roman imperial guard, after all.

"Does thine lord desireth something from thou's athenaeum?" I'm not going to get used to this. And what the hell does "athenaeum" mean anyway? I mean, I assume that it's a synonym for library because of how he uses it, but still.

"Yes. I'm going to need access to one of the data crystals I have stored. Can you get me data album A5?" If I remember correctly, this should be the album which I kept all of my real blueprints in. Now, as you can tell, I wasn't the most creative namer, but is a good name really necessary for a picture album?

"Of course! What thy master needeth, thine servant presenteth." And with that Shakespearean headache, Titus went into the back of the library behind the counter, where we kept the good crystals and my personal stache. I mean, without everything I added, the back looked largely empty. Hence why I kept most of the good (but not great and better, those went to the treasury) data crystals behind the counter: for my personal use and to make it look like we had even more than we already did.

So then I waited for a good ten minutes or so waiting for Titus to return. Which gives me a bit of time to think on a question that being here brought up for me. What else did I keep here?

Cause, I mean, I know that I kept a few good music albums in the music category of our library. Those are going to be a whole lot more useful now that I'm basically immortal. I'll need something to pass the time, right? And then there are all of those old board games I saved in image format, which I could therefore make and potentially play with the guardians. Playing Monopoly™ with aura, mare and maybe shalltear sounds fun. It sounds like being a father all over again, but less of the bad parts.

Then there would also be some of the books I saved to fill out the sections because Tabula kinda forced me too and Ulbert helped talk me into it. I could use them to pass the time too, especially since I've only read about none of them. I could also use some of them as gifts for the guardians. That one erotica about dark elves would be a good gift for mare when he gets old enough. Looking ahead, I should probably hide that so he doesn't find it and read it before he's old enough.

And then there would be the final things I saved: old video games. Now obviously, it was nothing that would be comparable with the VR helmets, as there trying to save an equivalent (lesser or otherwise) of YGGDRASIL within YGGDRASIL would not work well. Or at all, most likely. I know I have that old MegaMan series saved. I think I have most of the dating sims and other games that Bukubukuchagama were in. Still, I can't be sure of everything I have, so I guess I'll just have to check later.

It was then that Titus came back, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"What thou needeth, thy servant shall provideth." Titus cheerfully declared in "ye old tongue", with the data crystal I needed in his outstretched hand.

I quickly grabbed the data crystal from his hand, before giving him my thanks in return. I then left the library, before taking a pit-stop at the kitchen for my order, and then went to my room. Since I only needed to take out the one picture from the album in question and give to Momonga, I could wait to give it to him. In my eyes, job number three seemed more important. Or, more importantly, more fun.

"So, how did it go?" I asked happily, like a father wanting to get all the details about his son's first date. While the circumstance in question was very, very different, I still managed to have all of the same enthusiasm as if I was a father again. Ah, how time flies.

"Well, it didn't go as well as expected..." Albedo sat next to me and shifted uncomfortably. We were both sitting on my couch next to each other, with space between us of course, while looking at each other. My wings were finally relaxing over the armrest of the couch. I had a cup and bottle of bourbon on my side of the coffee table, while she had a cup filled with tea and a quaint-looking kettle. I think the tea was earl grey, but I can't be sure. There was also a basket of potato chips which I asked the head chef to make. They were delicious, as all foods in Nazarick were.

"How so?"

"Well, remember how you told me that I shouldn't force myself on him?" Oh. I hoped that this wouldn't be the problem. I told Albedo that while being pushy was fine, and probably needed, that she still needed to stay south of rape. While I do want Satoru to get laid, scarring him isn't something I want to do. And I honestly believe that she would do that if she had the chance. Well, she'd at least try. Hell, I can most certainly imagine her pouncing on him, so putting that limit on her is a good idea. But if this goes where I think it might have, that good idea might not have mattered.

"You didn't force yourself on him, did you?" Please tell me she didn't. Please tell me she didn't. Please tell me she didn't.

"No, of course not! But remember when you said that he had to consent to it?" So she didn't force herself on him, but still she didn't get his consent for sex... Did he take charge then? I mean, that sounds nothing like him, but it is possible. Theoretically. Maybe. Probably not, but still.

"Yes."

"Well, I- I didn't even get the chance to ask for it." So then maybe it wasn't so unlikely for him to take charge. Hell, maybe my little pep talk actually got through to him.

"So, what happened then?" I need to confirm my suspicions since not all the facts add up. There's one fact that strikes me as odd: if he took charge and went gung-ho, why is Albedo acting so fidgety? If that happened, I imagine that she would be happier than a kid on Christmas, and she would definitely brag. But she doesn't seem happy, and she isn't bragging. Hell, she even seems a bit sad.

"Well, the thing is... When I went into the room, after waiting the half hour like you said..."

"Yes..."

"Well..."

"Come on, tell me what happened." She is oddly resistant.

Albedo took a deep sigh.

"Well, when I went into the room, he was asleep. My love looked so cute." Her face lit up as she spoke that line. "There were two and a half empty bottles on his nightstand, so I assume that he passed out drunk."

"You didn't fuck him while he was asleep, did you?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow. That would be a very worrying proposition.

"No, of course not! I just... Joined him in the bed and cuddled him." Heh, that sounds cute. Sounds like something she would do to, though I assumed that pillow talk would come first. Guess not. Still, this outcome is disappointing. You win this time, Satoru. But mark my words/thoughts, I will get you to loose your V-card. Not even Peroroncino had it, and he was like a decade younger than you!

"So, there was no sex? Nothing happened?"

"Sadly." Huh. I didn't think that was even possible. So he didn't take charge. And she didn't get to do anything. Well, on the bright side, Satoru wasn't scarred, and Albedo doesn't have to be punished/imprisoned. On the down side, I need to think up a new scheme.

Maybe have Albedo ask to meet him in his bedroom, have her "confess her feelings", and have her attempt to seduce him using the lovey-dovey angle? But he could just straight reject that and her heart would be broken. Get him out of paperwork, have a drinking competition, easily win because of stamina stat, and lead drunk Satoru into his room where Albedo awaits? But then both me and Albedo would be taking advantage of him. Consent while under the influence doesn't exactly count after all. Plus that would be a real dick move on my part.

And what would that entail?

And why am I even trying so hard?

"Lucifer!"

"Huh?" It seems I got a bit lost in thought in there. Maybe I should go over plans with Albedo. Or just let the whole thing rest. Eh, those are things for me think about later. For now, lets see what Albedo wants. "What is it Albedo?"

"I have a question. About when I was cuddling him. He felt strangely... warm. Is that because of the alcohol?"

"I don't understand what you mean."

"Vampires are normally cold, so I'm asking if my love is an exception or if that it was the alcohol?" Oh my fucking god, I was right. She really did think that he was a vampire. That one off joke I made became a prophecy to be fulfilled. I. FUCKING. WIN!

In response to her question, I broke out into mild laughter. Well, maybe "mild" wasn't the best word to describe it, but I certainly laughed more than I should.

"D-did I say something wrong?" Albedo looked absolutely confused at my amusement. Not like I can blame her though. He is ghost pale after all.

"No, not at all. Hell, you just made my day with that." I chuckled. "You know how the ring I gave him reverts him back to his original form, right?"

"Yes, I remember you told me that."

"Well, his 'original form' wasn't as a vampire. He wasn't undead at all, no matter how close to it he looks. He's human, Albedo."

"B-but that doesn't make sense! How could someone as powerful as lord Momonga be a puny little human!" Albedo shouted in disbelief. She really hates us, doesn't she?

"Believe me, back when he was a human, he was weak. He didn't become truly powerful until he became undead, so you can relax. Hell, just reverting him to that form sends him back to about level 80. So relax, he isn't really human. At least, not anymore. I mean, not that his current body is fake, that is what he looked like." While I am lying, this spiel is mainly just half-truths. He didn't have any power before he became an undead in YGGDRASIL, and his level does lower while he's in that form. Though the lower level was caused by the ring rather than the form, it isn't like she needs to know that.

"I... I never knew."

"Not many do. It is a special secret none of you were made to know. I'm not even sure if Pandora's Actor knows it. Regardless, it isn't like it really matters. He is still the same undead skeleton you love, only with the addition of my ring, the skeleton can do some "boning"- if you get what I mean." Ah, skeleton puns. Truly the highest form of comedy. You know, if I remember right, there should be a book on puns in the library. I should check that out some time.

"Wait. If the ring puts someone back into their original form... What would happen if you wore it?" That isn't something I expected her to ask. You know, I assumed that she would have dropped this topic entirely by now in order to go over plans on how she could capture Satoru and steal his love before the "she-witch temptress" Shalltear does.

"If I have my way, none of you shall ever know. And that includes Momonga too."

"O-oh... Well then. What do you think I should do next?"

And it appears that the time to talk to him about the plans I thought up in seconds earlier has come to roost.

"Try changing your angle. Try being up front and asking him about it. Obviously don't do it when he's in the middle of work, but whenever he takes time off, I'd say he's fair game. With an acceptable chance of success to boot." It isn't any of the plans I had earlier, but still a good angle. If she appeals to the heartstrings and maybe pulls a few, she may be able to get what she wants. There's no way I can guarantee anything, but as probability theory says: there is no such thing as a 0 percent chance.

"Okay then. If you think it will work Lucifer, I will try it. Thank you for helping me." She cheerfully spoke as she bowed her head in thanks.

"Thank you for being so willing to give details. Though I play this game for different reasons, we are both on the same team. So why not work together, right?" One of the reasons is to be on Nazarick's debatable smartest's good list.

"Indeed. Goodbye for now, my friend." She playfully teased as she opened the door and walked out. The word "friend" is a big step up for her to use it with me. I take it that I'm moving in the right direction then.

The quest to get my friend laid continues.

But enough of that. I do have half a bottle of bourbon to finish.

A/N: Well then, that's the end folks! I'm happy to say that one of Lucifer's trap maids have finally appeared, though I'm not sure if I did the scene right. So, if you think I did well with the scene, please review this chapter and tell me I did a good. If you think I suck and I need to suck less, please review the chapter and tell me what you think I did wrong and what I can improve upon.