A/N

Good evening folks. So, I'm new here. Not new to writing the odd fanfiction, but I am new to the world of writing Citrus. I plan for this story to be multi chapter with a plot line I hope hasn't been covered by anyone yet. As always, I'll keep my notes short and try to keep as in character as I can. You should know however that English is not my native language and there may be the odd error as I do not use a Beta to check my work.

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the characters of this story, I just borrow them for your enjoyment and my writing addiction.

Enjoy!

Take Back the Words

Mei Aihara heaved a heavy sigh, the book, which had been open in front of her slammed shut roughly with her sudden temper. She even ignored the crumpled page that closing it so thoughtlessly had caused. It was a very non Mei-like thing to do. She sprawled out backwards, limbs falling in every direction, raven hair fanning out onto the crisp white sheets of her and Yuzu's bed.

Their bed, hers and Yuzu's.

It was just her occupying it tonight. She remembered why and her anger flared once more, only marred slightly by the one small butterfly of guilt floating around in her lower stomach. This happened more often these days than Mei would like to admit. The arguments always started over something small, something completely obsolete and pointless. Her temper though, always burned brightly and she always said things that she knew she would later regret. At the time they just flowed from her, hurtful words that cut deep, into both herself and the girl that she cared for so passionately.

She didn't know what was wrong with her, with them, all she knew was that it caused hurt to them both, hurt to Yuzu and at times, when the house was empty and she was alone, it was more than she could stand thinking about.

The thing that plagued her mind the most. Was that Yuzu never got angry, no matter how much Mei assaulted her with harsh words and raised voices. All that ever seemed to do on one of their arguments was fuel Mei's fire even more. Yuzu was never angry, always just upset and distant.

Like tonight, Yuzu would stand and be yelled at until Mei had gotten things off her chest, then she would simply go for a walk, visit some friends or head to the usual bar the girls liked to drink at together. When she returned hours later she would have the same haunted look of sadness but still, no harsh word to return to Mei.

The guilt-butterfly in Mei's stomach fluttered harder, bouncing around her innards furiously. She shook her head, quelling the feeling down.

Pulling herself back upright, she paid attention to the mistreated book before her. Just another study guide, like Mei always skimmed through when she was mad. The minute her hands had finished smoothing out the ruffled, trapped page, a soft knock sounded at the front door. Mei started, heart jumping in surprise at the sudden sound. She had been so lost within herself that she hadn't appreciated the silence in the house until now. Usually there was something going on. The shower would be running, Yuzu would be watching TV or softly humming to herself, scanning through wrinkling pages of magazines or just being lost in conversation with Mei. Now though all there had been for hours was the soft pattering of rain on her roof, before fading off into complete silence. The house was cold, as cold as it always got after a winter rain shower.

She looked at the clock. Raven hair falling back into its straight place down her back.

1:33am.

Who could possibly be knocking at this time?

The answer was obvious. It had to be Yuzu, but Yuzu had her own keys, its it's not as if she didn't live here too. Mei furrowed her brow, frustrated once more. It wasn't the first time that Yuzu had come home at this hour, after spending several prior at the bar. She had knocked that time too, so drunk that she had mistakenly left her keys behind when she staggered home. Mei had been quick to answer the door that time. It had been one of the first times that they had argued and Yuzu had needed to take out her sadness and just lose herself in alcohol and conversation with strangers. Mei had been worried all night for the drunk girl, had watched over her while she swayed through the house - making sure she drank plenty of water before bed.

Well this time, Mei was still frustrated and not at all in a sympathetic mood. So this time, she buried herself back in her school book and ignored the second knock at the door.

"Leaving her there to sober up, wont do her any harm" she scoffed to herself. Flicking through the books pages without truly taking in its words. The guilt-butterfly pummelled harder against her insides, almost as if it were trying to break out.

She just flicked harder through her book.

The knock came again, softer, shorter than before. Mei considered her options carefully. She could go answer the door, berate a drunk and down Yuzu about where she had been and why she had lost her keys again. She could leave her to stew for some minutes longer, perhaps it would dissuade her from forgetting her keys next time. Or she could answer the door, look into those deep green eyes of Yuzu's and forget all about her anger. The same thing that always happened the morning after, when she woke to Yuzu's soft arm across her body, holding her tightly. Yuzu always was the first to make contact and end the feud between them. Even though it was rarely her that caused the explosion to start with.

She knew she couldn't leave her. It was cold out, even in here she was tempted to reach for a blanket. She told herself it was because she was tired, in all honesty she was. Her eyes felt heavy from all the reading she had been doing with just the one lamp on in the house. Yet she knew it wasn't true.

She knew it was just because she couldn't bare to be apart from Yuzu for too long.

So instead of the guilt-butterfly doing more laps, she picked herself up from the bed slowly, easing out her aching muscles, which protested strongly about being moved after so long and made her way over to the door. Her feet felt heavy as she approached. She knew they needed to talk. They needed to get to the bottom of these feelings, of her feelings. Of her stress and the way she took it out on the person she cared about.

She halted as the knock came once more. Just once, one single thud against the wood. Followed by a small voice, a drained voice. It wasn't like Yuzu at all, more haunting. Her feet were frozen in place for just a second. The guilt-butterfly ceasing all its flapping, only to be replaced by a draining feeling of fear.

Yuzu's voice, even though it sounded so strangely unlikeher voice, just sounded completely empty as she said those two words.

"Mei, please."

Then her feet did move, almost stumbling forward as she lurched for the door handle. Her fingers clumsy as she removed the dead bolt and hastily wrestled with the key. Her feeling of dread growing as she turned the handle and threw wide the door, stepping around it as it careered past her.

Mei's hand shot to her mouth, her lavender eyes wide with shock.

"Yuzu?" She whispered, reaching a shaking hand forwards.

Yuzu's hand braced wearily on the door frame, her knuckles white from gripping the wood tightly for support. Her arm, like the rest of her body, trembled with the effort of keeping herself supported. Her sunset hair hung limp across some features of her face, stuck down with rain water. Its usual shine replaced by the dull heaviness of weight. A crimson streak ran down one side, mixing with the water to give her hair a pinkish hue in the dim light.

Mei's eyes only widened in that split second, as her eyes roamed other every inch of the girl stood before her. Her eyes had roamed over Yuzu many times before, but never like this.

Yuzu's clothes, fashionable as they always were, were soaked through with water. Her sleeves torn, grazes marring the soft skin of her forearms and elbows. Her jacket was gone, her shirt underneath dirty and ruffled, its lower buttons missing. Her skirt torn at the hem, long black socks pushed down her legs to the top of her shoes. Her legs too were grazed, her right knee ripped at one side, another streak of crimson heading down to her rolled down sock below.

"Yuzu?" She said again, her voice nothing more than a gasp.

Yuzu's hand lost its purchase on her only support, her wet trembling skin slipping against the smooth edges of the door frame. She lurched forwards, her body staggering as she struggled to balance herself. Her body hit Mei's with her forward movement, legs shaking as Mei quickly grasped her shoulders, trying to steady her. Her head came to rest near her collarbone and Mei took a sharp intake of breath, Yuzu's skin like ice against her own. Her hands grasping the blonde's shoulders and shook with her, her stomach doing cartwheels now. The fear raising up her body in a hot wave, burning the back of her eyes to the point of stinging.

Yuzu was aware of just how warm Mei felt against her numb body. Her limbs were cold, her fingers and toes alien to her as she staggered forwards into the other girl. Her cheek coming to rest just near the crook of her neck, next to her collarbone. She felt the other girl tremble nearly as much as her as Mei's hands tightened on her shoulders, stopping her before she could topple too far. Her cheekbone throbbed where it rested, the pressure of her skin pushed to tightly to Mei's, flaring up what was going to be an impressive bruise she knew. Her head swam, the room before her bucking and lurching as her eyes struggled to clear the fog from her vision. She could stay here for eternity, her tired body not wanting any more movement, screaming out in pain every time she did so.

Mei's sweet voice floated over her, like music, but she could barely hear it over her own teeth vibrating against her aching skull. She was cold, so very cold and here against Mei, was the only warmth she wanted. Her legs shook again, more violently this time. She fought against it, willing her knees not to buckle. With effort, she raised her head from Mei's shoulder, the world spinning just a little bit more. She needed to see her, she needed to know she wasn't still angry with her. Her green eyes locked onto Mei's purple ones for a few short seconds - tears springing behind the other girls. She tried to give a reassuring smile, one that didn't look like a grimace, but her knees finally gave out.

Mei looked on in horror as Yuzu's eyes briefly rested on her own. Her skin felt damp and frozen beneath her fingertips. Her beautiful green eyes had no sparkle, they were dull. Pain and fear flashed behind them as she tried to smile, one cheekbone marred with a bruise and scrape. Her eyes quickly fell away as her knees gave way and Mei had to be fast to tighten her arms around the other girl in order to keep her semi-upright. Shaking with the effort, Mei walked them backwards clumsily, out of the cold air blasting through the door. Before slowly letting Yuzu slide gently to the floor, legs folding awkwardly beneath her. It was only when the trembling girl was safe from falling that Mei let her hands slide upwards from their vice grip around Yuzu's shoulders to rest either side of her face. Her fingers carefully avoiding her bruised cheekbone. Cold water and warm blood dripped over Mei's fingertips as she held her shocked gaze on Yuzu, her head leaking the dark liquid, almost black looking in the houses dim light.

"Yuzu, oh god, what happened to you?!" Mei stammered, her voice threatening to break and fall apart. Yuzu managed that small smile this time, but Mei could see that her eyes were unfocused, her body trembling harder as the warmer air of the house assaulted her cold skin. She was pale, extremely pale, her lips held a blue tinge to their edges. Mei's heart skipped painfully in her chest, the fear she felt only rising at Yuzu's more violent shaking.

She let her hands drop from Yuzu's face as she made to scramble to her feet.

"Stay right there, I'm going to call an ambulance." She sputtered, her spring upwards caught short by a weak trembling hand. Yuzu shook her head, her face grimacing at the sudden movement.

"No.." she whispered, her voice so incredibly soft. "No.. don't."

Their eyes met again, and Mei was surprised to see more fear behind them at what she had just said.

"Yuzu, you need a doctor!" She said, tears now springing from behind her eyes to actually manifest.

"No, please Mei." Yuzu whispered, her voice a little harsher. "Its... its it's not as bad as it looks. I'm alright"

"Yuzu, you're bleeding, a lot!" Mei said stubbornly, kneeling back down as Yuzu relinquished her grip on her wrist.

"Mei please, I just want to be here." Yuzu replied solemnly. "I'm just cold, I'm alright."

"You aren't alright." Mei cried, her eyes roaming to the pink streak in Yuzu's hair, it was becoming darker by the second. The fear behind those eyes. What had happened to her...

Mei didn't know what to do. What was she supposed to do in this situation? She was just supposed to answer the door, berate Yuzu for being out so long and for likely being drunk and drag her back inside to make up for their argument. Now she was rooted to the floor with shock. She didn't move until she heard Yuzu's teeth physically clack together. Then she dragged herself off the floor, kicked the front door closed and dashed to her room, snatching up the blanket that she had thought about using just a few minutes before. Even though she was unsure what to do, she had to at least do something.

Hurling the blanket, along with a couple of clean white towels over the side of their couch, she hurried back to Yuzu.

"Can you stand with my help?" She said softly, taking the other girls arm in her hands. When Yuzu nodded her response, she knelt and tucked that arm firmly around her shoulders, her other drifting down to Yuzu's waist. With a gentle heave, she helped Yuzu raise off the hard wooden floor. It wasn't without effort and Mei stumbled as Yuzu swayed forwards. She led her slowly towards the couch, noticing Yuzu's obvious limp with each step. Her leg was bleeding almost as much as her head.

"Here." Mei said softly, pushing back Her tears as she lowered Yuzu onto one of the cushions. Reaching for the buttons on Yuzu's ruined shirt with unsteady fingers.

"We need to get you out of these wet clothes." She said softly, peeling the now unbuttoned shirt away from Yuzu's pale skin. Yuzu nodded again, trying to be as cooperative as she could given the situation. Yuzu took a sharp intake of breath in through her teeth as her shoulders rolled back to allow the shirt to come free and Mei's fingers brushed over more scrapes as she did so.

"I'm sorry." Mei said hastily, Yuzu clamping her eyes firmly shut.

"Mei." Yuzu said between her clambering of teeth. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry about last night." Her eyes fluttered back open to meet Mei's gaze once more. Mei could see that tears swam behind those just like her own. With the already haunted look Yuzu had, the tears shone all the brighter.

"I d... I didn't mean to make you angry." She stammered, her hand coming to rest on Mei's where she now wrestled with Yuzu's torn skirt. "I never mean to upset you. I'm sorry."

Mei felt her tears flow harder and she had to force down a sob as her fingers refused to co operate. Yuzu was apologising to her. To her. While she was in this state before her, she was apologising for upsetting her. When she finally managed to unclasp the skirts buckle, she took a deep breath to hold herself together.

"Yuzu what happened to you." She whispered, "How did this happen to you?" She bit down her self loathing at Yuzu's apology. She felt her own heart break as Yuzu's voice cracked.

"I... I don't.. I don't want..." a sob escaped the slightly older girl, still shaking from the cold, but also from shock and pain. Her shoulders violently rising and falling. Mei reached for the blanket, leaving the endeavour of Yuzu's skirt removal for the time being. She threw the blanket around the girls body and gently pulled her forward, tears rolling down Yuzu's blood-caked cheeks. Mei's hand rose up to her damp hair and entwined there, her other wrapping around Yuzu's middle to rest on the flat of her back. Yuzu's chest was cold against hers, the shallow gasping of her tearful breathing racking through her body. She tucked her hands up into Mei's shirt, grabbing handfuls if her cotton Nightdress and balling them there.

"Shhhhh, its it's alright. You don't need to tell me right now." Mei reassured, her hand gently running down the blondes hair.

"We just need to get you fixed up first."

Yuzu just sobbed harder, her head burying against Mei's chest. Her body still shaking violently and smaller than Mei had ever thought possible, she seemed frail somehow. Frail and vulnerable, like if she didn't cling to Mei with the little strength she had she wouldn't still be there when she let go.

For a couple of minutes, that seemed like eternity to Mei, with the stickiness of Yuzu's blood increasing against her nightdress with every passing minute, she let the other girl just rid herself of her emotions. All the fear and pain she was feeling coming out in waves. Then Mei pulled back, grasping the top of her skirt once more and wriggling her free of the fabric. Followed by her shoes and torn socks. She left her with her undergarments, not feeling like forcing the frail girl out of those too.

Tightening the blanket around her, she carefully removed the part of Yuzu's hair still bound by a side braid. Most of it was already untucked and dishevelled, she had never seen her blonde hair messy before. It seemed to have an unnatural grace, able to look good even first thing in a morning. Now it was tangled, made worse by the rain water.

She gently towelled the parts she could, the parts that weren't blood soaked, and did the same for the rest of the girls body, carefully working her way down her midriff, avoiding the already darkening bruise on her side. She then went to make her way down her legs to her feet, if anything trying to warm up the parts of her that wasn't covered by the blanket. She paused her towelling as she reached Yuzu's lower thigh, avoiding the bruise already forming against her stark skin.

She bit her lip, bile rising in her throat at the sight. Of the bruise, perfectly mirroring the size and shape of a handprint almost imprinted into the skin there. She choked back a cry, skipping the towel past to continue downwards.

Someone had done this. Someone had done this to her Yuzu. Whatever this was. She needed to keep herself together, she needed to focus on Yuzu right now and not her own emotions but still, her blood boiled inside her veins at the sight. A handprint, on her thigh...

"Here, wrap this tighter." Mei said quickly, trying to distract herself away from the sight as she once again curled the blanket more firmly around the other girls body. Her shaking had calmed slightly, her tremors not so violent.

"I'll be back in just one minute."

True to her word, Mei was indeed back in just one minute. First aid box for minor wounds and burns, clutched firmly in her hands.

"Yuzu!" She exclaimed, throwing the kit onto the couch cushion next to where the other girl sat, eyes closed, her shivering almost stopped. Yuzu started, her eyes wearily opening again.

"Yuzu, you have a head wound... You cant sleep!" Mei said pointedly, wrecking her brains for anything that could help her from one of one many first aid courses she had attended. With a head wound there was a distinct possibility of concussion, she thought she remembered something about not letting a patient sleep but she couldn't focus on whether it was true. To be safe, Yuzu couldn't go to sleep, not yet.

The other girl was tired though, Mei could see that in her weary gaze.

"This is likely going to sting. A lot." She gulped, opening the kit before her. What she really wanted was antiseptic and something that could staunch the bleeding. Even the scrapes would need cleaning. Little pieces of stone and mud clung to the shallow cuts on her arms and legs.

"Its alright." Yuzu said wearily, fighting with her eyelids for a few seconds before Mei reached a cloth to her head and pressed it firmly down.

Yuzu braced herself for what was to come, but the shock of it still came at once.

Pain racked through her head in one sharp motion and she gasped, her weariness forgotten as the pressure on her head wound cleaved through her mind. She saw Mei flinch before her at her reaction but she couldn't help it. She clenched her jaw to keep her whimper to a minimum. She didn't want to make Mei feel worse about this.

"This cut is deep...' Mei mumbled, Yuzu not missing the heavy concern there.

Her voice faded at the end as Yuzu's world spun, nausea building in her stomach as the stinging coursed through her head. She pulled sideways away from Mei's grip violently. She hadn't eaten anything but it still didn't stop her from retching onto the living room rug, her eyes stinging as bile burned her throat.

"Shit." Mei said and Yuzu felt her hand instantly fall to her back as she dry-retched again.

"Yuzu you really need a hospital." Mei said firmly, grasping her hair back just in case she did actually have something to part with.

Yuzu shook her head, her stomach doing cartwheels as she did so.

"You definitely have a concussion." Mei argued, as Yuzu trembled again, this time from the violence of throwing up. She hated throwing up, but just made her feel so drained. Not that she didn't feel drained already.

"Its okay, I'm alright." Yuzu murmured. Content that her retching was temporarily under control, she turned back to face Mei. Who in turn, gave her a 'I disagree, but I need to continue, are you ready?' look. Yuzu nodded and the pressure returned to her head, just as world-spinning as it had been the first time. She clamped her jaw down and this time kept her stomach under check.

Mei wasn't happy at all with the situation. She was lost, she just didn't know what to do. The wound on Yuzu's head was deep. She thought the kit had some butterfly strips hiding in its clutches but she just didn't know if they would hold it together well enough. Guilt ripped through her with every swipe of the cloth in her hand and with every swipe, it and her hands grew to an alarming shade of crimson. She couldn't properly clean and dress this until the bleeding had stopped. Instead, she reached for a fresh cloth.

"Here, do you think you can hold this in place?" Mei asked, placing the clean linen over the wound and putting some pressure down on it. She tried to block out yet another wince of pain she had caused Yuzu.

The older girl nodded, raised a hand and clamped it down upon the cloth.

"You need to keep some pressure on while I sort the rest of you out. I cant clip it until the bleeding stops." Mei said, moving on to the next task of fetching some clean water, mild antiseptic and setting to cleaning out all the little scrapes and abrasions that marred Yuzu's body. She tied a strip of linen around the other girls leg, just below the knee to put some pressure on the still bleeding cut there before getting to work.

It took several minutes, long agonising minutes of Yuzu's hitched breathing and involuntary whimpers before Mei was satisfied that her scrapes were all clean. The one on her cheekbone, her scraped arms and the front of her legs. She even had several down her back and across her hips where her flimsy shirt and torn skirt had obviously not been protection for whatever had happened. She looked as if she had come of her bicycle at speed. She probably could have passed for that if it hadn't been for the bruise that Mei knew lingered on her lower thigh.

By the time her scrapes were clean, antiseptic cream applied and a nice loose shirt that Mei had fetched from the back of their shared wardrobe pulled over Yuzu's torso, she addressed the wound beneath Yuzu's cloth. She noticed Yuzu's sigh of relief as she lowered her arm from holding it in place, fingers trembling from effort. Mei was glad to see the bleeding had ceased enough for her to clean and treat the wound as she needed to, with butterfly clips and a temporary head wrap of gauze and bandage. It was deep, but perhaps would manage without stitches. Yuzu had lost quite an alarming amount of blood from it however, so she wished to be sure.

"Now that I've dressed these, you'll have to wait until tomorrow to shower, when I can change them for something more substantial. I'll do what I can with your hair as soon as I'm finished here." Mei told her, unwrapping the cloth from Yuzu's knee and giving it the same butterfly clip treatment. She looked up when Yuzu didn't answer, the final bandage wrapped tightly in place.

Yuzu's gaze was fixed on her, followed her as she arose from her crouch on the floor to sit gently on the couch next to the other girl. Her gaze was distant, unfocused. She swayed slightly as she sat, her skin just as pale even though she had ceased her shivering.

Mei raised a hand to Yuzu's face, pushing a strand of now dried, caked hair back from her face before letting her palm gently cup her cheek. Her thumb brushed gently over the graze she had already treated and Yuzu's hand rose to cover hers.

"Thank you." Yuzu whispered, her tone weary and drained.

"Thank you?..." Mei said back, her emotions now burning a trail back to the surface. "How can you thank me for this?"

A frustrated tear found its it's way tumbling down her cheek.

"Yuzu, if I hadn't... if we hadn't argued. If I hadn't said all those things." She choked on her words. "I'm so sorry Yuzu, I should never..."

Yuzu faintly tightened her grip on Mei's hand. Her grasp weak but obvious.

"Its alright." She whispered.

"Its not alright!" Mei said back, pulling her hand away from Yuzu's face and bringing it up sharply to her own forehead. "How can this be alright? Look how much you are hurting because I couldn't keep my temper in check. If you had been home tonight, with me, none of this would have happened. I didn't even answer the damn door with any urgency I..."

Her words were abruptly cut off when Yuzu swayed further, leaning forward into Mei as her body struggled to hold itself up past the fatigue she was feeling. Mei accepted her weight, shifting to make it more comfortable for Yuzu. The older girl buried her head in the crook of Mei's neck once more, her skin this time not as cold to the touch. She closed her eyes and Mei could clearly see she was struggling. She knew from what she had read that it could be dangerous for anyone with a concussion to sleep, but she knew it was going to be impossible for Yuzu to stay awake much longer.

"We should get you comfortable" Mei stated, rubbing at the tears in her eyes, forcing them back. She stood, gently tugging Yuzu to her feet with her, her hand looped back around her waist. Yuzu didn't argue and Mei knew that she must be exhausted. However she had gotten home with those injuries from whatever god knows had happened to her, must have been difficult. It was another thing she could kick herself about when Yuzu was as comfortable as she could possibly be.

When she was settled and Mei was at least comforted to know she was safe in their own bed, she headed to the kitchen, pulled out some pills and a glass of water and returned them to the bedroom.

"You should take these before you sleep, if you can." She said, handing Yuzu the glass and tablets. She knew painkillers would most certainly be needed in the night. Yuzu obliged, struggling down the water and struggling more with the tablets. Her eyes fluttering with the heaviness of sleep. She wearily patted the bed next to her, a tiny bit of flush returning to her pale cheeks and Mei heeded her wish. She climbed under the sheets, not even bothering to kick off her clothes. She realised that she never did get around to removing the blood from Yuzu's hair, as the blonde laid her head down upon Mei's stomach. She stayed sitting up, pillow propped behind her so that she could watch the other girl sleep. Its It's not as if she would get any sleep herself tonight anyway. She needed to be here to keep rousing Yuzu anyway, and perhaps to hear of what happened tomorrow, or whenever Yuzu was ready to tell her.

It was only when she could hear the gentle breathing of Yuzu asleep that she let herself crumble once more. It was her fault. Even if Yuzu didn't blame her, which Mei knew she didn't, something horrible had happened to the girl she cared for so deeply tonight because of her actions. As the tears rolled silently down her cheeks, her hand resting in the blondes hair she closed her eyes to hate herself just a little bit more. Whatever did she do to deserve Yuzu here in her life? She wasn't sure she did deserve her.

For tonight, she just wished she could take back the words she had said in anger, just take them completely back.

Just take back the words.