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"I don't know…this option sounds mean. I don't want upset them, they've been so kind to us."

"Just make your choice, SpongeBob. We can load our previous save if you don't like the outcome."

"No Sandy, I am the commander, it is my duty to fully accept the consequences of my decisions!"

"You do remember this is a videogame, right?"

"Don't distract him, Sandy. His shoulders are burdened with great imbecility."

"Don't you mean responsibility, Patrick?"

"Two words, one meaning, right?"

"Oh brother, just pick an option already! I'm starting to rust here."

It hadn't been Karen's intention to shout, but SpongeBob had accomplished what very few people other than her husband could: he had depleted all her patience.

SpongeBob looked at her from the other side of the couch.

"Sorry Karen, I just…I want to make the right choice." He looked ashamed, sad even.

Karen sighed.

"I understand that." She said with a more mellow tone. "But do you really need to take three hours to make up your mind?"

"She is right SpongeBob." Agreed Sandy.

"But…what if I choose wrong and ruin all our playthrough? All the hours we have spent, all the characters we have helped, the worlds we have saved…." He tried to fight his tears, but soon they were streaming down his face. "IT WOULD ALL BE RUINED!"

"NO!" Yelled Patrick in despair before tackling SpongeBob into a hug. The two fell to the floor and rolled around, crying and babbling nonsense while Sandy and Karen watched them.

"I don't think they are understanding the 'reloading the last save' part." Said Sandy as she took the controller.

"Well, what did you expect?" Said Karen as she did her best to ignore the uproar the other two were causing. "Their shoulders are indeed burdened with great imbecility."

It was only when Sandy finally pressed the button and chose a dialogue option, the same Spongebob had decided to choose before succumbing to his three-hour moral dilemma, that both him and Patrick stopped crying.

It had all turned well inside the game. No friendships were broken, and no innocents were hurt in the process.

Karen had foreseen the obvious outcome from the beginning. She wondered what had made SpongeBob hesitate and ponder for so long, other than his inherent stupidity, of course.

"There. You see? Nothing bad happened. Now calm down." Said Sandy with a smile.

SpongeBob and Patrick regained their sunny attitudes as quickly as they had lost them, and soon they were back on the couch.

"What a relief!" Said SpongeBob after taking a deep breath. "The weight of responsibility really strained my shoulders."

"No, that was me. I hugged you too hard, sorry." Shrugged Patrick. He then snatched the controller from Sandy without asking. "Anyway, my turn."

He had barely finished talking when Sandy kicked him in the head. She then took the controller from him and handed it to Karen.

"You know you are banned from playing since what happened the last time, Patrick." Said Sandy while Patrick rubbed his head.

"It wasn't my fault!" He exclaimed. "How was I supposed to know what Reset game meant? I thought it was a bonus level we had unlocked."

"Come on, Sandy. We all make mistakes." Added SpongeBob. "Pat deserves another chance."

"We'll talk about it later. Right now, let Karen play, she has been patient enough."

"Thank you." Said Karen, happy to finally be the one in charge.

Sandy had once stated that while watching Spongebob and Patrick's playthroughs was like witnessing a messily improvised but heart-felt theater play, Karen's felt more like a rigorously polished movie.

In her hands, the story moved quickly and coherently. Enemies were destroyed accurately, decisions were made quickly, little to no mistakes were made.

Her abilities amazed her friends, but for Karen, it felt natural, even predictable to the point of being boring. The only reason she enjoyed the gaming reunions and the game itself, other than the chance they offered of getting away from Plankton's schemes and antics for at least one day each week, was because of the characters.

Well, not all the characters.

More specifically, the characters that reminded her of herself, not because they had annoying husbands obsessed with sandwiches recipes or anything of the sort.

"Man, the synthetic lifeforms in this game are so well depicted." Observed Sandy.

"Synthetics? Are they tasty? Do you eat them with mayonnaise?" Asked Patrick. His stomach rumbled.

"I think synthetic lifeforms refers to robots, Patrick." SpongeBob said. He was eating popcorn from a bowl. Both were immediately engulfed by Patrick the moment he offered him some.

Patrick swallowed and scratched his head.

"I don't get it."

"You know, robots." Continued SpongeBob. "Artificial intelligence, computers, beep-boops, ones and zeroes, electricity…like Karen!"

Patrick gazed at Karen blankly. If he was waiting for an answer, Karen wasn't in a hurry to give him one.

She was too immersed in what she was doing to let herself be distracted by the stare of an idiot. Years of marriage with her dear husband had helped her develop that ability.

"AH!" Exclaimed Patrick out of nowhere, making Sandy and SpongeBob jump at the same time. "I think I get it. Karen is like Troop!"

"Yes, yes, now hush! It is getting interesting." Demanded Sandy. "Troop, our robotic squadmate, is about to reach an important part of his character development arc! Boy, I do love him."

"Yeah, me too!" Spongebob said with dreamy eyes.

Karen agreed in silence.

Captain Kandy Starpants, Troop has a question.

"I still can believe that's the name we went with." Sandy hid her face behind her hands. "No matter how many times I hear it, it never gets better."

"At least it sounds like a name. The other option was Patren Squarecheeks, remember?" Said SpongeBob.

"Huh, you're right. Suddenly, Kandy Starpants doesn't sound half bad anymore."

"Okay, quiet everyone, here comes the question!" Said Karen with excitement. "It is the first time a question has actually intrigued me so I need complete silence."

"What about the time Plankton asked you to marry him?"

"Don't spoil the moment for me, little sponge."

Does this hardware have a soul?

A new tree of dialogue followed the question. It had only two options.

Yes, you do.

and

No, you don't.

"Wow. They cut right to the chase with these options. I was expecting something more interesting." Said Sandy, leaning back against the couch.

"They are simple. I like simple."

"I'm with Patrick in this one. Sometimes it gets tiring when they elaborate so much." SpongeBob smiled, expectant to see what option Karen would choose.

They all waited, but nothing happened.

Karen knew they were waiting for her to do something. The feeling of hesitation, alien to her by nature, was starting to feel too real.

Confused, she reassessed the question and the options again.

They were, like Patrick had stated, simple.

Simple questions deserved simple answers.

That much was clear.

And yet, she found herself unable to pick an option.

She tried again, one time, two times, but the result was always an impenetrable wall that blocked her way to the final answer.

Why?

She could solve equations in a matter of seconds. She could come up with complex schemes. She could answer the most difficult riddles and puzzles.

But she couldn't answer one stupid question of a stupid videogame.

That wound to her pride would take some time to heal.

"Karen?"

Sandy's voice brought her back to reality. She shook her head slightly and smiled.

"Sorry, I think I went into sleep mode for a second there. Last night, Plankton felt that three in the morning was the perfect time to start ranting and crying about how all his plans always fail. Couldn't get any rest after that. Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, the question! Let's see…"

Her feign excitement worked perfectly on SpongeBob and Patrick, but Karen wasn't sure if she had fooled Sandy.

Deciding that worrying about it was useless, Karen returned her attention to the game.

"Does this hardware have a soul? Well…what do you guys think?"

"I don't know, you are the beep-boop here. You should know." Said Patrick, resenting the sudden question.

"And I'm asking you."

"No, they don't."

The answer was so sudden Karen couldn't help to be taken aback by it.

"Beep-boops don't feel, they are like boxes. And boxes are great, but in the end, they are just boxes. Troop is a cool box though."

"Patrick, how can you say that?" SpongeBob intervened. "Of course Troop has a soul. He is our friend, he talks, he feels, he thinks. What other proof do we need?"

"Actually SpongeBob, it's not that simple." Interrupted Sandy. "Any machine can do that! You only must program it to do whatever you want it to and it will do it. It doesn't mean they have souls."

"But if they can feel…"

"Machines don't feel, SpongeBob, they just simulate. They exist outside of nature." Sandy bit her tongue and fixed her eyes on Karen. "But…but machines can be upgraded, so they can grow. In a sense, we aren't so different. Besides, what's a soul anyway? Nobody knows for sure."

Karen knew what she was trying to do. It was obvious to the point of being embarrassing.

Still, she couldn't get mad at Sandy.

She had simply stated her honest opinion without any emotional filter. Didn't Karen do the same all the time? Wasn't it the reason she was often considered to be too straightforward, even cruel?

"You're right Sandy. Nobody knows. I wish that was one of the optionsso we could skip this boring conversation and get back into action." Although she gave no signs of being uncomfortable, Karen felt how her words increased the already palpable awkwardness growing between her and the others.

Patrick was the only one blissfully unaware of the situation. Karen never thought she would feel that way, but at that moment, she envied the dimwit with all her heart.

Heart? What heart?

'Wow. Karen thought, amazed at her own harsh words. I really am heartless, in more ways than one.

The phone call entered at the precise moment Karen thought her motherboard would melt with awkwardness.

Plankton. Who else could it be?

She excused herself and exited Sandy's house. The last thing she heard before leaving was SpongeBob's attempts to stop Patrick from accidently resetting the game again.

Once in the garden, she answered the call.

"Karen, is that you?"

"No, this is your conscience speaking. Of course it's me, dummy. What do you want?

"I love you too, honey. Listen, I need you come back home this moment. "

"Why? Did you get stuck in the bathroom again?"

"No! I mean, yes, but that's not the problem! Just get back here as quickly as possible!"

"Of course, your majesty, whatever you say. Your wishes are my command."

"Wow, I do like your new attitude."

"Sweet Neptune."

She hung up without giving Plankton the chance to say one more word.

She walked towards Sandy's home but stopped right in front of the door. From what she could hear, they were having fun.

She thought about it for a moment and decided it would be best to simply leave without telling them. It would be a bit rude, but it was better than going back and make everyone, herself included, feel uncomfortable again.

Karen left the tree dome as silently as she could. Outside, the streets were dark but not empty. As she walked across them, others greeted her.

She ignored them all.

She couldn't help it. Her mind was lost somewhere else.

Before she knew it, Karen found herself back home.

The Chum Bucket welcomed her as it always did, empty and in complete silence.

She walked toward the laboratory, where Plankton was waiting for her. She did it all mechanically, as if her body had acquired a mind of its own.

"Took you long enough." Plankton greeted without hiding his annoyance. "Anyway, come here computer wife, and see how I have managed to surpass my own genius once more. Okay that's close enough. Karen, you are too close. Karen? Karen, stop! KAREN!"

"Huh?" The crunching sound Plankton made under her weight made her react. "Oh, sorry. I didn't see you there. Were you saying something?"

After helping Plankton recover and listening to his ranting of how she had stepped on him on purpose, she allowed him to gloat about his newest invention.

Karen listened to him halfheartedly, but Plankton didn't seem to care. As long as someone, or something, was present to be the receptor of his endless speeches, he seemed satisfied.

"Behold! My latest invention!" Plankton exclaimed in the same manner a showman presents his next act. He pulled the cloak that covered his so-called ticket to success. What laid underneath was a gigantic, purple cube with a tiny disc slot located right in the middle.

"Impressive." Said Karen without emotion. "And what exactly am I looking at? It looks like a disproportionate washing machine."

"No, darling." Hissed Plankton, trying his best to keep his enthusiasm. "This is the Sassy Machine of Electronic Simulations, or SMES for short."

"Sassy? What's sassy about this dull cube? Given its design, Simplistic would have fit better"

"Consider it a small reference in your honor, honey. After all, I was thinking of you when I made it."

"I'm gonna try real hard to take that as a compliment."

"I'm serious, I was thinking of you. In fact, you were my main inspiration."

"Don't push it, Plankton. I'm not in the mood."

"But you were my inspiration, that's true! You and your weekly videogame playing reunions with those three morons. I don't know why you insist in hanging around with those fools, and I don't care, but I am glad you did. Otherwise I never would have come up with this!"

"So that's what this thing is? A giant videogame console?"

"In a way, yes! And with it, I will finally get my hands on the secret formula! I'll finally win!"

After one of his laughing fits, Plankton stared at Karen happily.

His smile slowly vanished as the only thing he received from Karen was complete silence.

"Go to sleep, Plankton." Said Karen turning her back on her husband. "You are raving even more than usual. I'm going to bed, and you should do the same."

She went toward their bedroom, and it didn't take long for Plankton to go after her. She didn't wait for him or even looked at him.

She was tired, and going into sleep mode was her top priority.

"So that's it? I show you my greatest invention, even name it after you somehow, and you just don't care?" He said from behind her back. "Computer wife, don't you ignore me!"

"And what do you want me to say? You built a big videogame console. Congratulations." She snapped at Plankton. "There, are you happy now?"

"It's not only a videogame console, Karen!" Plankton blocked her way. "It's much more! Didn't you hear me? It is a Sassy Machine of Electronic Simulations, or SMES for short."

"That doesn't tell me anything other than you are not that good with abbreviations and names."

"For the love of Neptune, do I have to explain everything to you?" Plankton rolled his eye. "To put it simple, this is what it does: videogame disc goes in, a virtual reality goes out. And in that reality, we are the protagonists of whatever game we put in."

Karen, to her surprise, found herself a bit intrigued.

"Alright. And that ties to the Krabby Patty formula how?" She already had an idea of what Plankton would say, but she allowed her husband the small pleasure of explaining his plan.

Whatever to improve his mood and avoid his early-morning rantings.

"Reality can often be disappointing, Karen." Plankton's voice lost its edge. Karen felt the sudden need to try and actually listen to what he had to say. "If my constant failures have taught me anything, it's that. In this reality, I always lose. But what if in another reality, this could be changed? In a reality where we are the protagonists, the odds are bound to be in our favor, and if that's the case, we could win!"

Karen nodded. That gesture alone made Plankton's eye gleam.

"We transform this reality into the game's reality, we make some minor adjustments to it so that Krabs is the final boss and the secret formula is the final reward. All we have to do then is play, win, get the formula, learn its secrets and exit the game! Once we know how to produce our own Krabby Patties, we will be able to rule the fast food kingdom as king and queen!"

"Okay, not to be negative, but what makes you think you can win the game? You suck at videogames."

"True, but a certain yellow blabbermouth told me you are very good at them, especially at the one you've been playing the last three months. What's its name? Aggregation Reaction or something?"

"I knew you would drag me along into this the moment you started using the pronoun we so much in your sentences."

"What can I say? Think about it as one of our love adventures. Besides, I won't be able to do it without you, sweetie."

"I…I don't know, Plankton. I'll think about it."

"We'll do it first thing tomorrow morning! Now we rest. Building the SMES left me exhausted." Plankton said with renewed determination as he yawned and stretched.

Karen wondered if he hadn't heard her last words, or if he had ignored he. Both options were equally possible, though the latter a little more than the former.

Upset by this, Karen decided to ask the question that had been whispering in her mind. She would have preferred to ask it in the morning, once her mind was clear and focused after a night of rest, but she had allowed Plankton his small moment of self-indulgence.

He owed her that much.

"Wait, Plankton."

"What is it now, Karen?" He asked as he rubbed his eye. "Can't you see I'm tired?"

"I have something to ask you."

"If it is about how I unstuck myself from the bathroom, I'll tell you in the morning. It's quite the story."

"No, it's not about that!"

"What is it then?" He crossed his arms. "Ask woman, before I lose consciousness."

"Do I have…? Well, do you think that I…?"

"What? You are starting to sound like that starfish. Maybe you shouldn't spend more time with him. His stupidity may be airborne."

"Do I have a soul?"

The question lingered between them, unanswered.

Karen instantly regretted having asked it.

Plankton tilted his head. Slowly, he began to laugh.

It wasn't his usual laughter. It was free of malice, and it came directly from his heart, almost like a child's.

"Where did that come from?" He asked after wiping a tear from his eye. "Karen, you say the wittiest things."

"Just answer me, Plankton."

"Karen, baby, you don't need my answer! You already know it yourself!"

"I know?"

"Of course!"

"But what do I know exactly? I know I function, but I am not alive. I process things, but I don't think. I simulate, but I don't feel. I…"

"Woah slow down a little. This is too much! Seriously, where did all this come from?" Exclaimed Plankton, a bit dizzy.

"From the game. There was this part that just left me wondering…" Karen would have blushed if she had the blood, veins and heart necessary to do so.

"I thought games were supposed to be relaxing!"

"They are." Said Karen, getting agitated. "They are usually amusing, I didn't expect it to give me an identity crisis!"

"One more reason to avoid them. Except for tomorrow, of course!" Plankton looked at Karen and smiled. "Don't let those stupid games confuse you, honey. You are above it."

"It just…" Karen looked at her hands. "It really upset me, and I'm not sure if it is because I don't know the answer, or because I know the answer and I don't want to face it."

"Listen." Plankton urged as sweetly as his tiredness allowed. "You don't have to doubt anything, and if it's my answer you want, then I'll give it to you. Yes, you do."

Karen's heart, if she had it, would have melted.

Plankton then stood by her side and rested his head against her.

"Come on. Let's get some rest, honey."

That simple gesture was enough to convince Karen, even against her better judgement, that Plankton meant what he said.

"You are quite the sweet talker." She said as they went to their room. Her voice was free of scorn.

"Tell me something I don't know."

"I don't think you have the lifespan to hear it all."

"Hello sarcasm, I missed you these two minutes you were gone." Plankton yawned again. "By the way, you do have that videogame with you, right?"

"It is SpongeBob's, but don't worry. I'll make him bring it here in the morning."

"Why would that fool even buy that game? It seems to be a bit above his understanding."

"I think he mistook it for the one he really wanted. I don't think he and Patrick would have passed the first level without my help and Sandy's."

"The first level? Please, without you, those idiots would never have gone past the main menu."

"Plankton!" Karen couldn't help to laugh.

"Hey, it's true."

"Maybe you're right." Said Karen, feeling her how uneasiness slowly vanished.

"I'm always right, Karen." Said Plankton as if he was stating the obvious. "You should know that by now."

"Is Karen coming back? It's her turn again and she still has to choose an option."

"She isn't coming back, SpongeBob. She's already gone."

"She could have said goodbye. Leaving like that wasn't very nice of her."

"Well, what we said wasn't very nice either." Said Sandy as she saved the game and then turned off the console and the TV.

Patrick was snoring loudly in the couch, his mouth and chin covered with candy crumbles and drool.

"What do you mean?" Asked SpongeBob, genuinely confused. "Did I say something wrong? I'm sorry…"

"No, it wasn't you." Sandy scratched the back of her head. "And I'm not sure I can blame Patrick for what he said either. I think this one is all on me."

"Sandy, what are you saying? You didn't do anything!"

"Like I said, it's not about something I did but about something I said."

"You mean about the thing of Troop having a soul or not?" SpongeBob helped Sandy to clean the room.

"Yeah."

"But why would she get mad about that? I don't get it."

"She is a machine, SpongeBob." Said Sandy as she and SpongeBob carried the dirty dishes to the kitchen and dropped them in the sink. "And what I said about them existing out of nature and not being able to have souls or feelings…I got carried away with it."

"Don't worry Sandy. I'm sure Karen didn't take it the bad way." SpongeBob said after putting all the litter in the bin. "But if you are so worried she did, you could give her a call and explain her what you really meant."

"But I meant what I said, Bob." Sandy sighed. "It's just that sometimes it's so easy to forget that Karen is a machine ."

"That's true. Except for Patrick, he still thinks all robots are magical talking boxes." SpongeBob felt happy to see Sandy smile at his comment.

Patrick moved and talked in his dreams.

"I better get him home before he starts sleepwalking and destroying everything in his path." With little effort, SpongeBob put Patrick on his shoulder and carried him like a sack of potatoes.

"Wow, you've gotten a lot stronger since we first met." Said Sandy.

"And no Anchor Arms this time." Said SpongeBob with pride.

"Don't get carried away. You've still to get admitted into the Salty Spitoon again."

"One day soon it will happen, just you wait and watch."

Sandy accompanied SpongeBob to the tree dome's exit.

"See you next week, Sandy. And chin up, okay? Karen will be back as if nothing had happened, you'll see!" He said with confidence. Patrick seconded him in dreams with a drowsy you'll see.

Sandy nodded, but her unsureness about that statement didn't go unnoticed by SpongeBob. He tried to say something, but he wasn't sure what else there was to say.

On his way back home, he wondered about the whole situation again.

"I mean, we don't even know if Karen actually got angry." He said to Patrick, who answered him with a snore. "Maybe she just needed to go back home quick."

"Home…mommy…" Patrick chuckled and sucked his thumb.

"Though if someone said I have no soul, I'd probably get mad too…" SpongeBob shook his head and frowned. "But she does have a soul! I'm sure she does."

"Boxes…no souls."

"Patrick, that's not helping." SpongeBob began to understand how Karen had felt. "Oh, she must be really angry at us! I would be angry at us too! We must find a way to set this right. The Sponge-Squirrel-Star Gaming Club can't lose its newest member! But what can we do? Maybe we could send her flowers…Nah, Plankton would probably destroy us."

"I don't wanna go to school…I want to party."

"Patrick, that's it!" SpongeBob snapped his fingers, which made Patrick wake up for a second. Fortunately for him, he fell asleep immediately. "We'll give Karen the greatest party ever! And it will be not just a simple party, but a gaming party! We'll take all our games, a lot of food, and play all day long! And to make sure she knows she does have a soul, we'll make her feel like the soul of the party!"

SpongeBob began to laugh without control. He could already imagine the fun they would have.

"I have so much to prepare!" He said in excitement as he opened Patrick's rock house and dropped him in. "Bye, Patrick. Sleep well, because tomorrow, we party! I wonder if Squidward would like to come."

With renewed spirits, and completely ignoring the fact it was almost midnight, SpongeBob ran happily to his home and began preparing everything he needed for the party, with the reluctant help of Gary.

Then, an idea came to him.

"I was saving this game until we completed our current playthrough of Aggregation Reaction, Gary." He said as he eagerly took the disc out of its box. He then raised it as if it was the lost treasure of Atlantis. "But tomorrow seems like a better chance to play it for the first time! They will be so surprised!"

His laughter became so loud that for an instant, it was heard through all Bikini Bottom.

It made Squidward curse and put on his ear plugs; Patrick chuckled in dreams; Sandy's ears twitched; Plankton growled and covered his face with his pillow.

Karen was the only one who gave no signs of having heard the laugh, but it did reach her, and transformed her empty sleep mode into a feeling that, if she was alive, could have been considered a dream.