Summary: Tatsumaki makes a deal with a money pincher Saitama in order to get more information about the inhabitants of City Z's Ghost Town. They end up spending too much time together when she hangs around to see the Baldy Saitama grow (not his hair) but his confidence, lust for life and love for her. She learns to ignore his tornadoes for sighs and fall in love with him, too. SaitamaxTatsumaki.

Pairings: Saitama/Tatsumaki

A/N- I saw the lack of love for Tatsumaki and thought, hmmm. Fubuki Who? There are 2 seasons of One Punch Man, I could totally start a new story about these two goofballs. This starts before season 1.

###

Tornadoes For Sighs

-Chapter 1-
Public

"TATSUMAKI-SAMA! I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU, PLEASE MARRY ME!" A stranger declared with the courage of a hero.

Everyone was so charmed, cheering like animals at the sudden nature of the proposal. The set up was so lavish and undeniably divine. The sidewalks were splashed in soft cucumber greens and blacks.

Tatsumaki, the greatest person on earth, walked into a public trap like a dumbass.

There were streamers, banners and everything that would make this public proposal in City Z's residential area sensational and sweet.

These onlookers with delicate feelings, tied hands and hope in their eyes were scum. Why'd they cheer him on like this? Scum met with scum. Or, they at least crowded each other to form swamps of cesspool-like support.

Tatsumaki wasn't happy nor aware of why this stranger proposed to her.

This man was hunched on one knee, spiritless and weak. He was soft in the middle, without a strong moral or social core. He broke into old age and his moral sense withered away. He had chubby cheekbones under thick, unattractive glasses. There were zero traces of presence.

He didn't have any will or chi and he wanted to gain her hand in marriage?

Pffft. As if.

He carried a bouquet of flowers, petals falling into a sad halo under his trembling hand. Then there was a beautiful ring. Fireworks set off in the bright, humid sky of azure. Tatsumaki's face was a pixelated, pale on the nearest building— nope, they just broadcasted it to multiple screens now. A budding ache of dread exploded in her forehead.

People were so happy and bright while she looked like an asshole.

He had a whole monologue about why they needed to be married. Fuck off! What could he know, he was a stranger!

Flimsy string had more of a spine than him. He forgot about fear because he didn't fear death. Proposing to her like this, BIG MISTAKE!

He was a corporate worker, too. Tatsumaki would've considered him for half a millisecond if he were a hero, but he wasn't. At all. Gag. Even Amai Mask would be better than this bub.

This Love Boy had a stiff suit that threatened to bust if he moved too quickly. He wanted to marry her because she was a top hero and he loved her strength.

Her fans were too extreme! They even wanted to know if Tatsumaki wore panties. She did! Not that she would tell anyone. Her adoring fan base always asked for marriage. It was harder to duck these rings nowadays.

These low kneeling idiots all put her through this familiar scenario; a sorry proposal. Couldn't she have just one good day without some weirdo belittling her status as an S-Class and embarrassing her this much? Holy.

Tatsumaki even felt weird. City Z was so fucking weird.

Only parasites would think it's okay to propose to her. She wanted to be impressed. She wanted to crack Lover Boy's shoulder blade.

Tatsumaki clutched her grocery bag filled with apples and cabbage products. City Z had a festival yesterday. She wouldn't dare tell Bearded Worker that she indulged herself instead of hunting monsters.

She came to City Z to investigate. She came to investigate City Z's increasing rate of Mysterious Beings and their rabid presence of monsters. City Z just happened to have another monster, too.

Maybe it was this blushing bride… And she could beat anything up. Anything.

This blushing bride wasn't even visually, mentally, or physically appealing. Tatsumaki hated when people put her in these situations!

Tatsumaki faced the man as a hush consumed the once-raging crowd. They all unconsciously leaned in, taking pictures and such.

"So, Tornado of Terror," Lover Boy shakily started, unable to be even-toned or forward.

So. Fucking. Pathetic.

His dark dots for eyes were ripe with fear of rejection. "Will you marry me?"

"No," Tatsumaki grumbled.

A pin could drop in this City Z.

"Listen up everyone!" Tatsumaki shifted, looking at all of the idiots. "And especially you. I am not going to marry you. No… No. No! I won't marry you."

"Huh?" screeched Lover Boy.

"Are you trying to die?" Tatsumaki inquired impassively. "Listen to me."

Tatsumaki's power surged, rushing through her veins with a green familiar glow. She aggressively leaned forward, her enormous power straining her voice.

The crowds all seemed way too dismayed, shocked gasps everywhere. Oh no! She won't marry him. I can't believe her! She's so rude. Blah. Blah. Blah. Losers.

Tatsumaki was strong enough not to marry someone weak and misguided! Lover Boy was so STUPID! His shining overbearing eyes had the mental capacity of a green bean. Fans were so creepy, wanting to get close to S-Class heroes in order to be exposed to their glory.

"I am a Hero. I save your sorry butts for a living," Tatsumaki seethed, holding onto her grocery bag tightly. "I am completely married to my workplace, my job, and getting the weak out of trouble! I don't need to be proposed to by small fries who can't even remember their names. Or better yet, mine!"

"B-B-But Terror of Tornado, I love you! I saw you save all those people and you're so gracious and strong." Love Boy stood, the flowers finally falling to the ground. "Please, I would be able to support you and help you!"

Everyone's jaws dropped. The bustling street surrounded by skyscrapers stopped shining. The asphalt road burned with a sad, melancholic gleam in the unrelenting midday heat.

As the silence got cold, Tatsumaki took the temperature of the situation. These people were on the weakling's side. Whispering. Why were they on his side?

One dumb-ass murmured through a question, "Why isn't she marrying him? He seems so kind. He spent so much money, too."

"Why is she always so cold? Those heroes are so arrogant. Why?" One person asked.

"Tornado of terror never could get married with that body." Another whisper through the mumbles.

Some other bitch joined the damn train."Yeah. I heard that she is foul. At least someone wants to marry her—"

"ALL OF YOU SHUT UP!" Tatsumaki thundered.

The crowd jumped two feet in the air. Her fingers flexed. Concrete shifted. She dislodged trees and chairs and cars, to make them really pay attention to her.

"You all disgust me! Who stands around and watches a proposal like this? Get a life!" barked Tatsumaki.

She's going to drop a galaxy on their stupid heads. Maybe the streets would become red.

"I don't need to remind you insolent maggots who scuffle at the bottom of the totem pole that I am S-Class, an Esper who doesn't need a man to complete me because I am already whole!" Tatsumaki vowed, acid staining her tone. "Are you all different types of idiots NOT to comprehend that, huh?"

None of them seemed to know it.

Tatsumaki lifted herself, glaring at the puny man. She floated even higher, groceries rising as the sky began thundering. A hurricane of winds whipped and snapped their hair, drapes of fabric and lanks of hair.

"Tornado of Terror…" Lover Boy croaked. "Are you really saying no?"

When her eyes levelled on him, he squeaked, like he's never contemplated the possibility that she would say no.

Lover Boy was completely heartbroken. His eyes watered, face red while pouting. The fireworks in broad daylight were like bullets in his heart.

Lover Boy continued… pathetically. "Please say yes. You're my idol and I- I love you—"

"Bah! Idolize the dirt when you pass."

"Oh my god! She's a monster!" Someone gasped.

Tatsumaki flinched. Monster? She looked around and identified their threatened, scared faces had implied just what someone was brave enough to emphasize. She was a hero! A hero!

They thought- oh God. She would be lectured later, she admitted to herself.

She didn't want to make a bad impression. Damn it! Tatsumaki wasn't going to kill Lover Boy— well, yeah, she was before but that wasn't the point. Okaynowshewaspanicking. These individuals were supposed to trust her with their lives and she screwed that up. Fans were dumb but civilians needed to like her. How else would she save them?

And just like that, no one liked her again.

Amongst the crowd that stopped and stared, there were those who walked past. She flailed around. There was a dull man with a dull expression in a dull outfit. Him! She needed him.

"Don't worry, public. I don't want to be married because I am not a monster. It's just," she paused and jut her arm in another direction. "That— that man is my beloved!" Tatsumaki declared.

Everyone gasped. She nodded emphatically, ignoring the bit of vomit on her tongue.

"Yes! See, see all you little fries— er, I mean people, I don't need to be proposed to because I have someone who will already support, cherish and adore me!" she announced. "He's mine."

Tatsumaki pointed to clarify her "beloved" to those idiots who couldn't close their gaze on him.

The plain, slender man looked up, noticing the large crowd. He wore beige shorts, legs thin and of average length. He was sort of tanned, in a subtle way, that suggested work in the sun. His clothes hung on him in a way that hinted at nothing chiselled and sculpted as he possessed no fine features. He didn't even have hair.

Nothing will come from this proposal. Nothing ever. He's too boring. She won't fall in love with him or remember him, to be honest.

He was a regular, untrained man in his mid-twenties or thirties, with groceries. Green stems of tall vegetables poked out. He did remind her of an octopus, for some reason. Such a shiny, bulbous head.

Everything about him wasn't detailed or compelling enough for her to appreciate in the long term. He was forgettable and could definitely get lost in a crowd of more interesting people.

"Yes, dear honey, you!" Tatsumaki said like the words were honey and not razor blades sliding down her throat.

"Me?" He seemed nonplused, thin brows twitching. "You are mist—"

Tatsumaki made haste and flew over to him, with all of her terrifying energy, she pulled her face to his. "You are my beloved," she repeated, surer of herself.

He hesitated.

"Play along," she growled forcefully. She wanted to get these mutts away from her. He was the key. Egghead.

Egghead boldly shook his head. "I am not." he leaned back. "Really."

Bold words for someone who doesn't want to die. "Just play along." Tatsumaki hissed, following his every movement. "Or else!"

"Are you in danger, kid—" He stopped and blinked at her, cocking his head to the side. He imitated a dumb, flinching crane when he looked between Tatsumaki and the crowd behind them then at the idiot Love Boy.

Tatsumaki gracefully spun around, ignoring the intimate personal space she just invaded. The somnolent man just planted his feet in place, clutching his grocery bags tightly. He was unexpectedly complacent to her ploy.

Tatsumaki smiled though she spoke through her teeth. "This man, this…" Tatsumaki checked his idiotic expression, shiny head. "He's the one I will marry."

"What? Why?" Lover Boy demanded, his nose carmine and eyes teary. "I am strong enough to be at your side—"

"No! No, this man is the strongest man in the world and he's MINE so I suggest you stop with your proposal." Tatsumaki cleared her throat. "Get lost. He's the jealous, emotional type. It's great."

Lover Boy's shoulders scrunched together as his mouth opened and closed. "Tornado of Terr—"

"Get lost or you lose your life!" Tatsumaki said obstinately while baring her teeth. "GO!"

The man ran, emotionally flailing away. Lover Boy promised he would become stronger but she didn't care. God. They were all so annoying. She felt a little sick.

The crowd dispersed after the threats were unleashed. They all grumbled, leaving her in the street. She dodged another unwanted situation. She sighed in relief then turned away. "Ha, ha, dodged a bullet there, me," she told herself.

She swung around and yelped. The man was standing in place. "It's not cool to tell people they'll lose their, er, life." An empty voice told her.

Eh. Her beloved. He was trying to tell her how to live? What a fool. What place was he to criticize her anyway? He was just some civilian she didn't need anymore.

Tatsumaki ignored his words and came at him with her own barbed ones. "Who do you think you are? Why are you still here?"

He scratched the back of his head, awkwardly maneuvering around the plastic bags he held. "I'm confused. Why did you do that?"

To escape the public and a marriage proposal but she didn't need to explain herself to anyone, let alone him. Eggshell was surprisingly determined to sleuth to get his answer. He still looked at her in earnest.

Tatsumaki didn't want to be —she internally sneered at this— helped this idiot anymore, so she huffed and ignored him. The silence was interrupted by honks, couples walking by and kids laughing across the street.

And wait a minute! The ballsy stranger didn't even try to answer her question…

Tatsumaki put an unassuming air and dismissed him with a wave. "Some impulsive thing must have spawned it, but it wasn't intentional. You are not my beloved."

"Oh. Good. Kids do the strangest things." he sighed in relaxation and relief. "Now that that's over with…" He turned away as if he hadn't made the biggest mistake of his life. Her powers will eat him up! For good!

"Who do you think you are? You have some nerve calling me that!" Tatsumaki seethed, gritting her words out. "Asshole!"

He turned around, slow and steady. "Nerve?" he blinked dumbly. "Asshole?"

"What? Why are repeating all of my words? You hard of hearing, octopus?"

He seemed affected by her harsh tone. "Kids aren't supposed to use that language." He lectured to her as if he were some scholar. "Someday you will be married. Not to me."

"Don't you think I know that!" A vein throbbed.

He seemed even more lost. "Then what's the problem?"

Tatsumaki clenched her fist. "How many times do I have to repeat it? I spent time on a nobody like you. When I look to you and see nothing. I tried to get it through your egg head but your soft-brain can't process that I am not—"

"Twenty words or less per sentence. You talk too much as a sassy, small child." the bald man expressed with an idle sigh. "Do you even breathe when you talk?"

He was lanky, thin with a despicable aura. His presence was disgustingly indifferent but he wasn't afraid of her whatsoever.

"I am not a child!" Tatsumaki yelped.

"Huh?" He seemed completely dumbfounded. "Are you lying?"

He scanned her body, eyes gliding over her thighs and breasts in an inspecting manner. He jumped, groceries in tow.

"Hey! What happened to you? Your lost parents are worried." he scanned the shocked crowd. "I bet I could…"

She's so going to beat this egghead into the dirt.

She didn't have parents. Kizashi and Atlas sucked as foster parents. She didn't need them because she wasn't 7. Tatsumaki ground her teeth, steeling herself. She'll kill them. Totally! Him! She will kill him. Why do the people in this world behave like parasites? They're all uncomfortably stupid. Especially him.

"I don't need my parents! I am twenty-eight years old, you blind, dumb imbecile. Quit being pretentious and know that I am twenty-eight!" cried Tatsumaki in a spasm of embarrassment.

"Twenty-eight?" he asked blankly. "That doesn't answer anything."

Tatsumaki raised her fists, cheeks aflame. He pissed her off so much! "Don't look at me like something is wrong with me!"

"There is," he said bluntly, face still smooth. He was totally convinced. That scoundrel.

Tatsumaki despised when people depreciated her because of her height. Tatsumaki didn't mean to end up like this. She's a top hero, so she's like seven feet tall already. And all the testosterone in the Hero Association left her depressed whenever she dealt with height comments. She heard them all. Her height didn't change anything.

Tatsumaki could do anything, beat ANY monster, did it matter if she was under five feet? It's not like this egghead was perfect, either!

Tatsumaki reached to point at his head, gesticulating wildly. "What happened to your hair, fucking baldy? You're dumb and you're fucking bald, too bald! You must be WAY older than I am."

This pulled his small provocation through his tone. It was undetectable for the most part.

"I have no medical problems, this just happened," he complained.

He kept on eyeing her, a dry, funny twang to his voice. It was slightly monotone with odd inflections, hidden with emotion, but his face didn't change whatsoever. He was so different from her but oh so stupid.

"It's not like I could dictate my DNA, egghead, so me being like this HAS, is and will always be normal." she huffed. "Got it?!"

"You're suspiciously small, though," he concluded. He pulled out a banana from his purchased bags of produce. "You must've not eaten enough of these. Eat while you wait for your parents. I'll help you."

His hand was broad and flat but had a banana he offered. The fresh banana was ripe, beautiful in a sort of its dimensions and dynamics. It was perfect and succulent AND TOTALLY WHAT SHE DIDN'T WANT TO SEE RIGHT NOW.

"I don't need your help, egghead." Tatsumaki huffed.

"But bananas help people—"

"I don't need bananas or help and I am not people either!" Tatsumaki shouted.

She pointed her finger, focused on the perfect banana then lifted it up to space, as far away from egghead as possible. The naked eye couldn't see it. The yellow rocket ship shot into space at the speed of light, separating at its atoms, shredding its lovely flesh into little incinerated hydrocarbon bonds.

Ha.

Tatsumaki smirked, flipping her hair. "I don't need to eat it. Take that, Baldy."

He released a deep and low panicked scream. "Hey! Those bananas were on sale! They only do that every few months!" he rubbed his bald head worriedly.

Tatsumaki felt a thrill in her stomach. A tickle.

"What the hell, brat?" he turned to her. "Why'd you do that?"

Tatsumaki puffed her cheeks out. "You don't deserve anything good in your life, that's my reasoning."

He collapsed, sighing. He sounded devastated like he was at a wake or something. Tatsumaki couldn't believe it. This idiot. He was more concerned about his banana than the fact she used telekinesis to send the banana into space. He didn't mind that he could suffer the same fate.

"Oi. That was on sale. You have to respect that." he said, still blubbering like a child.

Tatsumaki stuck out her tongue. "Listen to me, penny pincher! I am not a child who needs help from anyone. Ever. Don't tell me what to do or what to eat."

He mumbled his annoyance. Not anger, which was weird. He forlornly stared at his other remaining groceries, too.

"Besides, apples are superior, traditional and standard. Why would you ever give people bananas as a gift? They're not coping mechanisms." Tatsumaki grumbled. "I bet you can't ever host people because of them."

"C'mon brat, bananas are good for you. They're cheap and healthy." countered the stranger.

"Don't call me 'brat'!" Tatsumaki shrieked. "Hmph. Candy apples are better. You must have a lazy eye or lazy brain since you don't understand that."

"Those bargain deals are rare." He stood, brushing himself off. "Well, whatever. There are many more bananas left in the world."

"You can buy bananas that aren't of dubious quality when shopping at any normal store! What the hell is your problem, Avocado? Huh? Why are you so pressed about BANANAS! What I did—"

"Oi. Say it in twenty words or less!" he groaned. He was slowly preparing to walk away. His bald head was too shiny and weird. She didn't like seeing it as he turned away.

"You can't just walk away when I am talking to you! Stop ordering me around and stop interrupting me, asshole! I am SO going—"

"Why'd she even try to marry me anyway? It was pretty weird," he added, to himself, forgetting that she was there.

He… he just interrupted her again. Treating her like a child. Offering her stuff. He wanted her to momentarily rely on him, which she hated. He kept on ignoring her! He will die!

He stretched then tapped his chin. "What's the other sale coming up?" he wondered, already off the subject of Tatsumaki.

Tatsumaki was going to rip her hair out though she curled it this morning. He was so air-headed. And he never listened. Power welled up, alongside her burning fury at his lack of tact, attention and seriousness when facing her. He really didn't try to cover his disrespect up, either. This albino eggplant was trying to make a fool out of her with bananas and whatever small talk and rules he put on her.

Twenty words or less? It'll take twenty seconds to send his stuff into space. Why wouldn't she just send HIM up there too, huh? She never found this stuff amusing.

"Don't screw with me! Know your place!" Tatsumaki called out to his back.

He stopped and looked back. "Huh?"

Baldy looked at her then at her aura, then the darkness consuming her face.

A roll of sweat formed. "Brat, you… you okay there?" he gulped.

Tatsumaki lifted her fingers. She couldn't help but be annoyed that she couldn't manipulate his chi too much but she made him uncomfortable. That was enough.

"Egghead, you know that fine line between idiocy and insanity, those who try to propose like this rearranged it to play hopscotch. But like lifting a building or even a city is like hopscotch, child's play," she informed him.

"City… Child's play?" he repeated. "What do you mean? You're not making much sense, brat."

Her psychokinesis was such a sweet, exalting power to have. Tatsumaki grasped his grocery bags with little to no effort and sent them up. Up and up into the sky. It made a thick trail of smoke as it raced towards the eternal darkness. Ha. Ha. Ha. Even bananas are good for nothing in space. Healing people her ass!

"Exterminating idiots is child's play," she whispered.

Tatsumaki smiled at his pain and realization as it dawned on him. He was shrieking like a monkey, watching his groceries fly away into the atmosphere. She loved it. She loved hearing his cries of pain so much more than if she actually were to kill him.

It made saving him worth it. Tch. He should be grateful, too.

###

The next week, Tatsumaki was involved in flying back to City Z, defeating monsters and spilling guts after finishing her jobs. Seventeen Mysterious Beings or monsters as the civilians dubbed them all, were shredded, not even a match for Tatsumaki after sending the groceries to space. She loved being fierce and second to none, fighting all of these monsters.

Awesome, right? No. Not good, at all.

Fighting monsters at every turn like this in City Z was mildly disturbing. Tatsumaki loved the bloodshed but City Z had the greatest percentage increase in monster appearings in the last ten years. This was bad for the number of people that will be called in, and take away ALL of her cautious fun.

This part of City Z has led the place to be abandoned, scorned and derelict. It literally was a Ghost Town. This presence of sinister beings wasn't lost on Tatsumaki. She had all the power to release it.

It was enough to keep a city awake at night.

Many civilians are rightly afraid of these highly strong Mysterious Beings appearing so frequently. Civilians migrated away from the east, closer to the centre of the city since it was safer. The condensed population made for high rent prices and more people get hurt once these other lower-class monsters came to attack.

Besides, it was suspicious that such a high Mysterious Beings population flocked towards this place.

What was so great about City Z?

The concrete had stains, so she floated. The sidewalk wasn't bruised whatsoever. Gray bricks with slanted roofs didn't make the contemporary neighbourhood any better. The harmony between rubble and plants exploding in their pots was eerie and unbalanced.

City Z was past its prime.

The roads allowed for a lot of inhabitants but she would hear the whistles of air, the gloom between the narrow alleyways and worn subways.

It was surprisingly such a mass of people were so near to the Ghost Town when Lover Boy proposed.

Many motels, saunas, hotels used to be in this area. City Z was famous for its gorgeous beaches and vacation spots. Now it's known for rumours about Mysterious Beings gathering and their low population of heroes. The modern, central areas were very elegant and sophisticated but this part, the Ghost Town was much too faded and worn.

Tatsumaki came here to find why these Mysterious Beings found Ghost Towns to be a paradise for them, not humans.

Besides, the Hero Association did call her in but she was done with the actual job. She wasn't being paid but what she lost in dollars she made up in mild interest.

Tatsumaki didn't need to be paid, Tatsumaki was always up to look for these Mysterious Beings anyway. She fully believed Fubuki would miss her dear sister too. She had to hurry in this unravelling of the mystery.

Tatsumaki passed a gnarled bench, almost black when it's paint flaked off. Her groceries solemnly followed behind her, the brown bag covered in some Mysterious Being's guts.

Ew.

Tatsumaki turned away, getting a phone call. It was Aihara Atlas. She groaned. He never gave up!

Atlas was basically her caretaker, who took care of the orphaned Fubuki and Tatsumaki when they were younger. Atlas didn't mind the house being destroyed by their little spats, he encouraged Tatsumaki and Fubuki as if he were their father. He liked seeing them grow and train. Atlas also watched the news, being an unnecessarily strong man for a normal human. He saw her a lot, which upset her.

He was so irritating.

Tatsumaki never liked how he doted on her after she moved out at age seventeen. She was off chasing the millions of things she wanted but he always found a means or reason to reintegrate himself into her life! Grrr, couldn't he just leave her be?

Tatsumaki was almost thirty, three decades old, yet he treated her like a scared eleven-year-old. He was too involved in her life, for an old man. Whatever he was calling her, for now, was interrupting her chance to feel again. The once numb feeling inside of her became a flame of irritation.

His voice had a deep baritone, ripe with satisfaction and affection, which reminded her of a parent's kindness. "Tatsumaki-san, you missed six of my calls. I was just wondering—"

"Why do you call me when I am working?!" she snapped. "I am not a kid, stop treating me like one. There are six calls, yeah. I chose not to answer six times because I didn't want to speak with you!"

Atlas didn't even miss a beat. He never tried to correct her. He only respected, actually admired her gloomy, withdrawn self. She wasn't easy to take, but he carried a smile over and welcomed her back with open arms. He's too dumb, trying to trip her up and laugh at her. She won't fall for it. She won't be tricked by love.

"Tatsumaki-san, I was wondering if you would stop by at home, the kids want to see you. They adore their big, strong older sister." Atlas said amicably, but with a taste of desperation.

Tatsumaki groaned. He was a real mother bear, picking up strays. All the kids he took in had one thing in common; they were orphaned, damaged kids who rebelled without care. They weren't very good kids but he cared for all of them.

Slowly but all at once, they lose their animosity and accept him as their father. Glory and gore were Tatsumaki's parents, her freshest victory was her father that raised her.

"They're not my siblings. None of them. Only Fubuki belongs to my family." she hissed. "I'm basically hard at work, fighting a war."

"Maybe the war's happening but maybe you're fighting yourself. You're tired, yeah? The kids opened a space in the waiting room for you. Come and rest, take a day off. Have you eaten?"

He knew about her time waiting by the phone, hoping for a call from the Hero Association. Days off were for the weak. She didn't need to rest. She needed to fight. And screw Atlas for seeing.

His concern was just as bad as assault. His caring was choking her. It was the bitter salt of blood in her mouth.

Why'd those little ones care so damned much, too? They'd fight just to talk to her on the phone. They loved her! Loved her. Not to mention they told people that their big sister fought monsters, was so high-up in the Hero world. They went out and said the other kids should be so jealous that she, Tatsumaki and them, the six brats were related.

The only thing she did for those little ones was send money. She had too much, anyway. Why were they like this?

"Did you get the money for the brat's birthdays?" she rolled her eyes.

"We don't need the money. We just want you over," he said humbly.

That's it! She's had enough!

Tatsumaki stopped on her heels, her voice growing skeptical and high. "This world only needs money, did you know that? Your little revolving door for orphanages need money, that's all that parents need from their kin. Or they just use you!" Tatsumaki folded her arms together, sending a small glare to the phone. "Isn't that right? The kids should eat birthday cake with it, and stuff their faces. Atlas! Isn't that completely correct?!"

"No, we'd still love to have you over, Tatsumaki-san. I run a home, not an orphanage and all my children are welcome, including you," he replied, non-judgemental love and temper charging the static. "You are my family. No matter what you say. You'll always be my daughter."

Tatsumaki face-palmed. Was no one listening to her? A caustic feeling saturated her body, she was repulsed. She held her stomach a little.

"I won't be there." she snapped.

"See you."

He didn't even falter, entertaining himself with trivial stuff. He couldn't ever understand her because he never lost someone close to him. He probably was smiling, talking nicely. She wasn't interested in keeping any relationship.

She couldn't be crossed when it was humid like this. "Don't call me. I am not your kid." She snapped the phone shut, breathing fast.

She felt the subtle taste of her overstayed days at the house press against her skin. Couldn't she just be alone with her monster-slaying tendencies? He didn't need to check up on her! She didn't need to have friends or family. Those relationships were parasitic, at least, according to Blast.

Blast. Why was he still missing?

Blast said that Tatsumaki couldn't rely on anyone to save her, which was true. Tatsumaki owed him her life, the least she could do was keep true to his advice of staying away from those parasites.

Why couldn't Blast return? Everything was troubling her. Couldn't he just return and save her from this mess of life, too? There have been so many monsters yet he's been missing. He will come if humanity was in real trouble. She could drink up his movements and be refreshed for life. She looked at the great sky, wondering about her sweetheart Blast.

When would he drift in from a great place, materializing out of the sunlight?

Her phone rang.

She was so out of it, she answered, knowing it was him. "Blast?" she asked hopefully. Her heart tickled.

"Tatsumaki-san, it's Atlas," Atlas' cozy voice rolled into her ear.

Crap. He genuinely never gave up. She was unhappy it wasn't Blast's husky, creamlike tenor and supercilious strength.

"Just calling to say I love you, my daughter, see you later—"

Tatsumaki hung up by crushing the phone. The bits and pieces of old cell phone fell to the concrete, plastic and electrically sighing. Hmph.

Tatsumaki wanted to be away from Atlas, who watched her grow up. He kept on calling in the hopes of seeing her. It kept her up a level, never to care about Atlas. Her skin turned black and blue when she softened up and let people in.

Atlas's generosity flooded her mind with memories and gashes of her family history. Talking to him made her unresponsive and wary but she knew he cared about her.

Only Blast carried her through a strange time in her life. He didn't know that he spellbound her but Blast wouldn't ever call her! Just as much as Tatsumaki idolized Blast, Tatsumaki was in love with him.

Tatsumaki was an idiot. That's why she wanted the call… from Blast.

Blast might just be a myth she built. Did he really exist at all? If she asked him about saving her, would he remember? Even she didn't remember the blur of faces she saved. Could she really say she stood out in his memory? That he excited—

No! He was real, the number one top hero in the world. What was she doing, doubting Blast?

Tatsumaki dug another apple out of her grocery bag. She stopped by one of City Z's many stores to find her apples. Oh. She loved apples! The sour taste comforted her. She had apples wherever she went.

She shouldn't believe that someone would help her eventually, even Blast… Would he ever buy her apples?

That's when she heard it. A monster.

Her apple rolled onto the ground. Tatsumaki turned, dashing through three blocks just to reach the demonic laughter. Its sheer insane sound would undo those with fair and fragile civilians lives.

Tatsumaki preferred this. She got irked when she didn't get monsters to kill. It was the only thing she was good at, anyway. She was bad with people and math.

When Tatsumaki peered at the monster, it was looked like the reincarnation of a bloody rag. His skin was draped with bloody tentacles in layers over his limbs. It was like an umbrella with droplets of scarlet horror dribbling off its elastic arms.

He plodded down the inert street, beating away dog-sized boulders with the ease of someone kicking a soccer ball. His black eyes were above a sharp smile. He was strong, reeling around with a trail of red like a gory river starting at his feet and flooding the sidewalk.

He didn't notice her but when he did, he sighed exaggeratedly. "Oh. It's a little girl." he lamented.

You bitch! Tatsumaki cursed internally.

Tatsumaki boiled. These idiots always mix her for a child! She has sex-appeal! She can seduce! She has the hips, and— and she may not have so much meat on her bones but she's still sexy.

"Hey idiot, I've come to exterminate you," Tatsumaki shared simply.

No fear lingered in his heart. Nothing in his character changed. He just seemed even more DEPRESSED!

The monster was offended. "How dare these puny humans swear that they could send a small, little girl in order to defeat ME?" A shrewd disbelief coloured his tone, twisting his actions.

"I am Inchor Chaos!" he belted out, pointing a crimson tentacle to her.

"So?"

"So?" he repeated, affronted that she didn't care. "Little girl, I've come to enslave the human race for the rivers, oceans and skies will be dyed red. Nobody is safe and the Hero Association dare test this by sending a small, human runt of the litter to surrender to my graciousness?"

Even if she comprehended his story word for word, had all of his reasons, she still wouldn't care. She never cared much for their monologues. They took so much time preparing to "enslave the human race" and died in seconds. It was a waste, you know?

Tatsumaki cherished playing around with the idiots for a while, just so they understood who owned who. There was supposed to be a tickle at winning, but that was long gone. She never was challenged. She wished to be but wasn't. Whatever. She didn't have a panting chest, furious tears of desperation running her face because she wanted to win so badly.

Now, she felt like yawning. She didn't even need to be awake for this. "You look like a used tampon. You can't enslave the human race." Tatsumaki cajoled.

Inchor Chaos got even redder as his fists balled up and his dark eyes howled with anger. "U-Used tampON? You will take that back once you cry and beg for mercy! You will think that death is the only escape!" he bellowed.

She truly yawned.

Inchor Chaos howled like a wounded dog. "You can't yawn! I am telling my story and why I hate humanity! You all are rotten! I thought that you'd be at least a bit more interested in my reasoning for killing you!"

"Ha! Think again!" Tatsumaki shrugged. "Dance for me. You don't have a lot of time left. Small fry, your vendetta bores me. Big issue."

"BoRES YOU?" Inchor Chaos flailed his arms. "You're going to die! Time to think about your death! The littlest people are always the ones who bleed out the quickest." Inchor Chaos licked his sizeable, prehistoric teeth, enthusiastic for a meal.

Why were Mysterious Beings always so hostile towards humanity? They terrorize humans and wreak havoc for cities. They never let up.

The tip of her left hand's french nail was enough to kill him. "I'm little but I am coming for you! I'll always win, I don't even think about death!" she said.

Then, shining light and warmth. In a calm and cathartic way, Tatsumaki was grateful to her powers and abilities because she could keep people safe… but she wished she could have something to look forward to during these fights.

Before… she had to sweat. Now she never does. Those days, she got to wonder if she was doing well, hard times interspersed in the good times. She often roughened up her mind so she was ready to fight but that was in her pre-teen days.

Tatsumaki had become soft. If that made sense… It was easy to be soft when nothing touched an untouchable person.

Demon level threats never successfully scared her or forced her to get any better. Dragon level disasters never got her blood running anyway. And now she's the point of not remembering when she used her powers, when she entered the fight and when she won.

It was all just a flat, flat sensation when she was nothing. She didn't even remember feeling strong. She succumbed to the numb flow. Her head was all mushy inside… and she knew now. She wanted to remember winning… Did she?

"Damn. That was close. Can't go to the store looking crazy." A dopey and calm voice said.

Tatsumaki… recognized that voice. She turned to see the egghead sighing, looking at his hand blankly. He flexed his fingers and shoved them into his pockets. He didn't act like he just killed a massive twenty-five-foot monster. He didn't act like anything at all.

Tatsumaki blinked.

She hadn't moved from her position. She… hadn't actually used her powers. It was… the egghead. He… He just punched that monster and defeated it… In one punch. The entire street was flooded in red as he walked, nonchalant and bored.

He wasn't wrong. He wasn't covered in any blood. How was he not celebrating? And how… Was he a hero?

When she collected her wits, she closed her mouth. "Baldy! What the hell was that?" Tatsumaki demanded, flying towards him at an accelerated pace.

He ignored her until she huffed right into his face.

"Baldy! What are you doing here?!" she demanded.

He took a minute, staring at her face. He must have had affliction because he narrowed his stupid eyes. He must have seen emerald eyes that were open and slightly intimidating. Her hair was bright green, freely curling upwards. She was the most incomparable hero of them all!

Not to mention the cutest. Kya.

After a vague, too long and too uncomfortable lapse of him just gazing, he finally reacted.

"Oi! It's the midget grocery thief!" Baldy jumped back, justly so.

"That's not the first issue here! You're an idiot, you know that? This is Ghost Town! Do you want to die at the hands of a cruller, stronger monster?" Tatsumaki asked, lecturing this idiot.

"I'll beat them," he said, shrugging coolly.

"Where's the A-Class hero you called for? Why were they this late?!" she looked at him with wide eyes.

He tilted his head. "I didn't call anyone."

"No one?!" Tatsumaki choked on her hysteria. "You're brilliantly pointless. Normal civilians can't just galavant in these streets. It's restricted."

"Why are you here, then?" he accused.

Tatsumaki wanted to bash his face in.

"Hey! Don't compare me to you. I am way beyond those greenhorns below S-Class! You and I— we're not even in the same league, you can't just beat a monster without asking for help."

He didn't agree. "I don't need help. I don't need help from midgets, either," he said, eyeing her suspiciously.

"I am not a midget!"

Tatsumaki breathed, refocusing herself. "Everyone needs my help or help in general. There's nothing wrong with confidence but understand what you can't do. You know this is the insult of the century. All these damned monsters live here and—"

"I am not a monster but I live here." he rolled on his heels.

Tatsumaki blinked. "Do you have a death wish?"

He scratched the back of his head. "The rent's cheap and you find a lot of free stuff. People leave the cheapest things during monster attacks."

He seemed proud of the last part. Stupidly. No one would willingly act this aloof and evasive in front of her, a national celebrity. Right?

"You really don't know who I am, right?" Tatsumaki eyed the egghead.

He nodded. "I don't wanna know. You'll probably kill all my groceries. Those groceries were expensive, you know that?"

She ground her teeth. "Enough about those groceries!" Tatsumaki halted.

Why does she get so mad when speaking to this guy? Where's that numb feeling from earlier? What was this guy doing to her?

"Can you tell me about those who live here?" asked Tatsumaki.

He flinched, a worried expression on his dopey face. "Huh? You wanna live some place near here, too?" He seemed troubled by that.

"No. I want those who live here to not die. Why would I ever want to live in this dump, huh?" She pointed at him. "I am not dumb. Normal civilians can't be here without consequences. Their senses get dulled and they get bogged down. Civilians can't survive here. They need someone like me who could protect them."

He looked at her, eyes widened. "What will you be doing, then?"

"Protecting them!"

"How would you do that?"

"I— oh my fucking god! Were you even listening to me?" she screeched. Men never listen! Ever. Ever!

He scratched the back of his head. "You lost me after fifteen words."

Tatsumaki watched the man. He never listened to anyone! He had fifteen words long of an attention span? That's absurd! Tatsumaki huffed to herself. What the fuck?!

"I should have sent you to space!" Tatsumaki sputtered.

Tatsumaki forgot just how damned infuriating this idiot could be when he tried.

Baldy blinked at her. "It'd be cool to go to the moon," he murmured considerately. He then groaned. "I would miss my workout! Nevermind, I can't go to space like that."

He's got the brainpower of a broken can opener. She wasn't inviting him out!

Tatsumaki groaned. "You guys, the ones who live in this Ghost Town have… some sort of communal aspect, right? Do you know who else lives here? Can you direct me to them?" she urged.

"I don't care for neighbours." he yawned.

"I'd care if they were constantly under the threat of you know, death! Tell me who lives here!"

"Why? I don't want to be your neighbour. I'd starve. All my groceries would go to space!" he openly fretted.

"I'll buy you groceries if you just tell me who lives here!" Tatsumaki burst out.

Tatsumaki was now desperate! This guy was impossible! It was literally like talking to a damn wall!

"I'll buy you some— carts of produce from the most expensive, high-quality shops and marketplaces if you just answer my one question for once!"

His entire face lit up then emptied. "I'm not sure if a kid like you has that kind of money." he sighed.

"I'm twenty-eight, egghead!" Her powers surged as she shifted as she displayed a debit card. "Over 100k in spending money. This is an honest business. Just tell me where the hell these other inhabitants are."

He tapped his chin. "How'd you get all that cash?"

"First, I embodied the natural law of the world," she purred casually, inspecting her nails. "Then I make people go extinct."

"Huh?" he got nervous again.

Tatsumaki grinned. "I got all this cash by exterminating idiots like you. It pays well. I keep these people safe, too. That's how I get cash. So don't test me anymore, alright?"

He nodded twice then hacked a bit, looking in a different direction. "You'd save so much more money if you didn't shop at the highest quality places. I know where there are sales and such. Good ones."

Tatsumaki grit her teeth and lifted her chin. "You'll tell me where everyone lives, yes?"

"I know just the place," he said. He eyed her once more. "You won't send them up to space, huh?"

Tatsumaki considered it for a moment. "Yeah," she said neutrally.

He sighed in relief. Triumphant.

"I might." she watched him stiffen. "So, Baldy, keep in line because I'll just take you instead," she said evilly.

Tatsumaki walked on ahead, scowling. He was certainly the worst thing to happen to her.

But hey, those were good stories in the end.

###

End Chapter

A/N- Sooo. what'd you think? Tatsumaki and Saitama are both weird, hard characters to write. Tatsumaki is over-involved and imperious but tries to act distant and modest. It's weird to keep this subconscious battle up. Saitama is just dimwitted but also really smart. Sigh. These two have a long way to go. :) Wait for the ride. It'll be fun. Oh yeah. This begins before season 1- like a month or two before Genos.