Here is Chapter 11. Sorry for the delay but hope you enjoy it and for everyone. Merry Christmas and a happy new year.
Chapter 11: Out of my Mind (and Body.)
Finn's POV.
After Sam puts down the phone, I decide to try to get back to playing the drums. I need to get the practise in before I go and meet the rest of the guys on Monday which Sam tells me that they are going to come over on via a text message. I also feel like the drumming also gives me a second form of therapy that I didn't have through normal sessions. It almost feels like I have a sense of meaning again from drumming because that was what I enjoyed doing. I liked performing when I was in the Glee club and now that I have the chance to do this as a career, I want to take this chance. I don't want to be considered a Lima Loser for the rest of my life. In some ways, I feel like I need this in order to get my life back on track.
Mom then calls me that it is time for dinner. I am hungry so I wheel myself down the hall to the table. We are having steak and chips which is a nice way to celebrate me getting myself a new job.
Carole: "Congrats honey on your new job."
Finn: "Thank you Mom. It finally feels like my life is finally getting back on track at last."
Burt: "That's good news Finn. I hate that you are being unfairly discriminated against because of what happened to you."
Finn: "I do too."
Burt: "You did seem in a bad mood when you got home for therapy. What happened?"
Finn: "Ran into Rachel and just got into an argument with her."
Burt: "You know you guys are not teenagers anymore…"
I know he doesn't mean to, but his comment triggers something in my head.
Finn: "(Angry.) You know what? I see feel like I was when I was a teenager! Lost, depressed, felt like a loser. Been told that I'm not good enough. Heck, before Sam offered me this job with the band, I felt worse than when I left the army and was just slumming around at the auto shop. Knowing that everyone else has had the chance for their own dreams whereas I was just stuck in that basement being abused and beaten to the point of death. Seeing all those pictures there and knowing that I'm not there makes me feel sick. I feel like the person who is the one in the family that no-one talks about or doesn't want to be around."
Carole: "Finn, Honey. Calm Down."
Finn: "Okay. (Breathes slowly.) I will."
We eat the rest of the meal in silence. My outburst ended any conversion that we had for the night. I wheel myself over to the living room and just put on the TV. Nothing particularly interesting is on at the moment so I just laze around watching something on TV when the doorbell rings. Mom goes and answers it.
Carole's POV.
I know that Finn shouldn't act in the way that he should but I do understand his anger. He has been physically disabled and tortured for the last 7 years which does leave him in a disadvantaged state. He might also have trigger points which we haven't checked through because he hasn't started his mental therapy yet. I tell this to Burt to make him understand that this type of strain can cause him to lash out at any moment and have trigger bells in his body.
Burt: "How does that happen?"
Carole: "Something in the memory cells in the brain can cause violent memories to become fixated within the brain. Certain words or actions around the individual can lead to those memories being relived in the person's memory and so they try and fight those memories in a certain way. Finn being tortured in a certain way at a certain point in his life creates those trigger points. What you said might have what triggered him to act in that way."
Burt nods in understanding. At that moment, there is a knock at the door. I go and see who it is and it is Rachel.
Rachel: "Hi Carole."
Carole: "Hi there Rachel. (Gives her a hug.) Do you want to come in?"
Rachel: "Yes please. I wanted to know if Finn was here by any chance?"
Carole: "Yes he is, he is in the living room. I'll just let him know that you are here."
Rachel: "Okay."
I head over to the living room where I see Finn watching TV but not really paying attention to what is on the TV and just try to catch his attention.
Carole: "Finn, Rachel is here and wants to see you."
Finn: "Okay, let her come in then."
I call Rachel in and then leave them to talk.
Finn's POV.
After Mom leaves, Rachel and I are left in the room. After a few seconds of awkward silence, Rachel begins to speak.
Rachel: "I'm sorry for the way that I acted earlier on today. It was silly of me."
Finn: "No, I should be sorry for the way that I acted and made you feel worse. I mean I didn't know that I was imprisoned for 7 years. I should have expected you to have moved on because you thought that I was dead. I was clearly making you feel worse about yourself. I just didn't think that you would have moved on with him. I put my jealous heart right into your face because I felt broken hearted."
Rachel: "No Finn, I get why you were angry. You felt that the world was against you and had beaten you up without a chance to prove yourself to the world. I wasn't being sincere towards you that you had all this anger in your body and that it might just completely erupt."
Finn: "I guess we need to apologise to each other about what happened earlier today. I got a job finally."
Rachel: "That's amazing. With whom? (Keeping something back.)"
Finn: "Sam. He is starting a new band and he wants me to be the drummer. He is going to look to see if we can land a record deal so we can start writing new music and use some of our old music."
Rachel: "That is fantastic Finn. I am so proud of you."
She begins to close the gap between us but I stop her before she can get too close.
Finn: "What about your marriage?"
Rachel: "I'm divorcing Jesse. I don't love him anymore. I realised that when you came back and after the trial that it has always been you. And he is in life imprisonment so he can never come back anyway. I love you and only you."
After that, I let her close the gap. We begin to makeout a little bit on the couch but then Rachel begins to slide her hands under my shirt and I freeze.
(Flashback.)
I am trapped in the basement and I don't know how long for. The room is foul and dark and damp inside and I just want to try and find a way out but I am being imprisoned and tied down by ropes. I need to escape.
I have been here long enough to learn each of their names. I hear that the basement is being entered and I see that Stephanie is coming down the stairs in not much clothing. I tense up straight away.
Stephanie: "Aww. Precious Finn. Do you need something?"
I shake my head, knowing that this could well be a trap. I don't trust her at all.
Stephanie: "I know what you both want and need. (Grabs his crotch.) You want it don't you."
Finn: "No. I…I don't want it."
Stephanie: "Liar. All young men want sex. So do all young women. I will have you, my boy toy."
Then she sexually assaults me. This turns out to be a regular occurrence.
(End of Flashback.)
Rachel's advances trigger the flashback and so I throw Rachel off me after accidently slapping her before I can regain control of my mind and body. Rachel's face shows a nasty shade of red and a couple of tears.
Finn: "Rachel. I'm sorry. (Crying as well.)"
Rachel: "Finn, honey calm down. I was being too forward. You are still recovering from what happened in that basement. I should have been more careful. What happened? You froze up completely."
Finn: "I had a flashback of what happened in the basement. It was when Stephanie sexually assaulted me and you putting your hands under my shirt caused me to have a flashback and triggered my reaction."
Rachel: "That bitch. I wouldn't want to even guess what it was like."
Finn: "Thankfully you don't have too. Let's go and find some ice for your cheek."
Rachel: "I'll go and find your Mom. You just stay here."
Rachel goes and finds Mom. I feel guilty for hitting her but in that one moment, I had a flashback which let to me losing control of my mind and my body.
Reviews are welcome as per usual.